The human tongue can do WAY more damage than any physical weapon and it behooves us to consider how what we say might be received.
Indeed everyone has triggers; some bigger than others. When I read the words to which you refer about the 'damaged people' here at greasespot, I found it rude too, but I also felt shame for the person who believed it's ok to say such a thing about those s/he doesn't even know. How embarassing to allow such a thing to fall out of their keyboard.
How boring would life be were we all as well put together as some believe we should be. Were it not for the chips and cracks, where would be the character, where would be the charm?
Those chips and cracks are hard earned; we deserve them. This is life!
I worry about a person who so judges our lives and allows their mind to think we should somehow be what we are not, just because they say so.
Dang, to be carbon copies, all the same pattern, all the same voice, all the same opinions.....ugh. There is probably a cult somewhere that would love to have that attitude in their midst.
In either case - does the fact that one has some scars, has some "damage" make them less valuable? Should we toss them in the trash like a broken plate because they are damaged? And if so, who gets to determine where the dividing line is between who is worthy of keeping (maybe a simple crack in the plate or a chip is acceptable) and who gets thrown away?
First off: I don't think anybody should be thrown away (except those such as child molesters who it seems can't be fixed). Sometimes I avoid someone who's "broken" because they trigger me in sensitive areas I need better control over. But whom I avoid isn't thrown away.
You can learn a lot by reading someone's scars. If you're friends, you may avoid hurtful topics, but I think nearly everybody brings something to the table and I think that sometimes the best soup has the most ingredients. My favorite shoes don't look very good anymore but they are the most comfortable because of all the "hits" they've taken.
Interesting topic, Abi; I'm looking forward to some poster's responses to it.
...How boring would life be were we all as well put together as some believe we should be. Were it not for the chips and cracks, where would be the character, where would be the charm?
Those chips and cracks are hard earned; we deserve them. This is life!
I think of those home shows where they beat up new wood to make it look fatigued. Or the stone washed faded jeans ... weathered barn siding ... it's the rocks in the brook that make it sing ...
I'm not damaged ... I'm weathered and tempered ....
In another thread, someone made reference to the idea that GreaseSpot has some of the 'most damaged people in our country'.
In either case - does the fact that one has some scars, has some "damage" make them less valuable? Should we toss them in the trash like a broken plate because they are damaged? And if so, who gets to determine where the dividing line is between who is worthy of keeping (maybe a simple crack in the plate or a chip is acceptable) and who gets thrown away?
I did not see that comment on the other thread here.
But, I do find it interesting, and true.
There is something that speaks loudly in those words of the affects from others who TAKE, without permission. This is a criminal ACT!
I don't know of too many people OUTSIDE TWI experience that would be able to understand my life.
And the same must be true for those that have been raped. If someone hasn't experienced THAT, how would they really KNOW much about it.
CRIMINALS like rapists and TWI have left a wake of stink behind them... the more that is exposed, the more I realize how DARK they really are!
But, EVERY person is LOVED by God, and tossing away a person? Unthinkable!
GreaseSpotCafe is full of people who UNDERSTAND the affects from those disgusting ROBBERS.
The damage these LAWBREAKERS cause many not be a pretty sight, but it is REAL… similar to WAR… some close their eyes to it, and scoff at the people involved.
Exactly, some people do not add healthy things to our lives, and our boundaries dictate we should avoid them. But that does not mean they do not add healthy things to someone else's life and that they should be avoided by everyone.
Shell,
" Were it not for the chips and cracks, where would be the character, where would be the charm?" Again agreed, like the favorite shoes Krys described.
And wasn't that one of the tremendous problems within TWI - the attempt to make us all the same?
And to go to the extreme end of damage . . .
I have a cousin who is about 10 - 15 years older than I am. As a kid, she was one of my favorite cousins. She has battled with mental illness for most of her adult life, and was anorexic for many years. She finally seemed to recover for a time. Then a few years back she had a serious breakdown and was hospitalized for quite a while. When she was discharged from the hospital, into the care of her parents, she was heavily drugged - not sure what but am guessing Lithium. When I saw her that following Thanksgiving, it was like there was nothing left of her. She didn't speak, and though her body was there, her mind was not.
Then this past Thanksgiving I saw her again. She was still pretty out of it, but not quite as much. I saw her again for Passover, she is still something of a shadow of her former self, but is also significantly improved. She was present with us mentally, and able to participate in conversations.
[And an interesting thing - those evil words, the medication has caused her to put on quite a bit of weight to the point where she is now somewhat over weight. I told her I thought she looked good, healthier. She turned to her mom and said "see mom, she thinks I look good". I gathered later that her mom has been hounding her about the weight gain - yea that's a brilliant thing to do to someone who has battled anorexia ]
Anyway, the point is, my cousin was severly shattered. So much so that many may have thrown her away. But instead people have been working to painstakenly glue all of those pieces back together again. She will always bear chips and cracks and will never be a perfet piece of china, but she is definitely worth the effort. And despite the hurtful things her parents may sometimes say to her, I have to admire them for the effort they put forth in helping her, especially in light of their own advancing age.
A friend of mine gave a talk at AA once on life events. They had a rough life and overcame many obsticles and had gone on to live a productive and dignified life. After telling us of the abuse and neglect she suffered throughout her early years and her self abuse later she said, "These things shaped me but they in no way define who I am." You could sense she had confronted her past and worked through some tough issues.
Part of what helped her work through those issues was the group therapy sessions (if you will) of AA. In there people share their experince strength and hope with each other in the hopes of a mutual recovery.
G'spot's intent from the beginning was similar, I know I was there. Alot of what you see posted here is a reflection of that success. I think the perception of us being the sickest folks in the world is wrong, I think what you see here is really what its like in real life, in other words we are the norm and not the exception.
That is if the term used is referring to not standing any more on the doctrine of TWI as taught in their cultic classes. That is if one has to be damaged to no longer promote present and eat and sleep PFAL as the only source of truth in our day and time.
I am damaged if that means I no longer consider a sexual predator the MOG that taught the word like it hasn't been taught since the first century.
Because it is the hard-core PFAL sold-outs that I have heard the term damaged goods used to describe those of us that no longer drool to sit 36 hours at the "teachers" feet and aren't willing to force or trick others to do so.
We all have them, don't we? And some of mine are the most innocuous things that would surprise most folks and, in the course of "normal" life when it happens, I have to excuse myself from the situation because noone would understand why I suddenly became upset.
This morning, my pastor was preaching about "Please Be Patient With Me, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet". It was a great message and he talked about how we never reach perfection and that he's got just as much to deal with, work on and overcome as the rest of us. I admire that and, coming from TWI, can appreciate it more than probably most in the congregation.
BUT, somewhere toward the end of the message, he said, "The reward for a job well done is more work" and I cringed. :o It was lke fingernails on the chalkboard and took a while for me to refocus on the teaching. I could go my whole life without ever hearing that said again.
"Get over it" is another one of mine, but we've already been there - discussed that. :B)
I'm hoping that some will fall away and not be as intense as time goes on.
I've used broken for so long I don't recall which came first twi or it. And recently I used the word damage when speaking to excath. But in both of those cases it means something done to a person that is not what the body and soul was desgined to partake of. And it alters the person, thus in my vocabulary it breaks or damages the person.
Funny that this comes up because that sentence also had caught my attention and I'm not sure I fully understood the intent. But then I didn't ask either. <_<
Another great thread Abi!
And just in case someone wants to hear the song she's referring to I borrowed this from Nostalgia. HERE!
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Shellon
Indeed everyone has triggers; some bigger than others. When I read the words to which you refer about the 'damaged people' here at greasespot, I found it rude too, but I also felt shame for the person who believed it's ok to say such a thing about those s/he doesn't even know. How embarassing to allow such a thing to fall out of their keyboard.
How boring would life be were we all as well put together as some believe we should be. Were it not for the chips and cracks, where would be the character, where would be the charm?
Those chips and cracks are hard earned; we deserve them. This is life!
I worry about a person who so judges our lives and allows their mind to think we should somehow be what we are not, just because they say so.
Dang, to be carbon copies, all the same pattern, all the same voice, all the same opinions.....ugh. There is probably a cult somewhere that would love to have that attitude in their midst.
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krys
First off: I don't think anybody should be thrown away (except those such as child molesters who it seems can't be fixed). Sometimes I avoid someone who's "broken" because they trigger me in sensitive areas I need better control over. But whom I avoid isn't thrown away.
You can learn a lot by reading someone's scars. If you're friends, you may avoid hurtful topics, but I think nearly everybody brings something to the table and I think that sometimes the best soup has the most ingredients. My favorite shoes don't look very good anymore but they are the most comfortable because of all the "hits" they've taken.
Interesting topic, Abi; I'm looking forward to some poster's responses to it.
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rhino
I'm not damaged ... I'm weathered and tempered ....
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SafariVista
Interesting Post Abigail :)
I did not see that comment on the other thread here.
But, I do find it interesting, and true.
There is something that speaks loudly in those words of the affects from others who TAKE, without permission. This is a criminal ACT!
I don't know of too many people OUTSIDE TWI experience that would be able to understand my life.
And the same must be true for those that have been raped. If someone hasn't experienced THAT, how would they really KNOW much about it.
CRIMINALS like rapists and TWI have left a wake of stink behind them... the more that is exposed, the more I realize how DARK they really are!
But, EVERY person is LOVED by God, and tossing away a person? Unthinkable!
GreaseSpotCafe is full of people who UNDERSTAND the affects from those disgusting ROBBERS.
The damage these LAWBREAKERS cause many not be a pretty sight, but it is REAL… similar to WAR… some close their eyes to it, and scoff at the people involved.
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Shellon
Exactly, and I'd like to thank the poster who called us damaged for reminding us we're so wonderful!
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Abigail
Krys,
Exactly, some people do not add healthy things to our lives, and our boundaries dictate we should avoid them. But that does not mean they do not add healthy things to someone else's life and that they should be avoided by everyone.
Shell,
" Were it not for the chips and cracks, where would be the character, where would be the charm?" Again agreed, like the favorite shoes Krys described.
And wasn't that one of the tremendous problems within TWI - the attempt to make us all the same?
And to go to the extreme end of damage . . .
I have a cousin who is about 10 - 15 years older than I am. As a kid, she was one of my favorite cousins. She has battled with mental illness for most of her adult life, and was anorexic for many years. She finally seemed to recover for a time. Then a few years back she had a serious breakdown and was hospitalized for quite a while. When she was discharged from the hospital, into the care of her parents, she was heavily drugged - not sure what but am guessing Lithium. When I saw her that following Thanksgiving, it was like there was nothing left of her. She didn't speak, and though her body was there, her mind was not.
Then this past Thanksgiving I saw her again. She was still pretty out of it, but not quite as much. I saw her again for Passover, she is still something of a shadow of her former self, but is also significantly improved. She was present with us mentally, and able to participate in conversations.
[And an interesting thing - those evil words, the medication has caused her to put on quite a bit of weight to the point where she is now somewhat over weight. I told her I thought she looked good, healthier. She turned to her mom and said "see mom, she thinks I look good". I gathered later that her mom has been hounding her about the weight gain - yea that's a brilliant thing to do to someone who has battled anorexia
]
Anyway, the point is, my cousin was severly shattered. So much so that many may have thrown her away. But instead people have been working to painstakenly glue all of those pieces back together again. She will always bear chips and cracks and will never be a perfet piece of china, but she is definitely worth the effort. And despite the hurtful things her parents may sometimes say to her, I have to admire them for the effort they put forth in helping her, especially in light of their own advancing age.
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herbiejuan
A friend of mine gave a talk at AA once on life events. They had a rough life and overcame many obsticles and had gone on to live a productive and dignified life. After telling us of the abuse and neglect she suffered throughout her early years and her self abuse later she said, "These things shaped me but they in no way define who I am." You could sense she had confronted her past and worked through some tough issues.
Part of what helped her work through those issues was the group therapy sessions (if you will) of AA. In there people share their experince strength and hope with each other in the hopes of a mutual recovery.
G'spot's intent from the beginning was similar, I know I was there. Alot of what you see posted here is a reflection of that success. I think the perception of us being the sickest folks in the world is wrong, I think what you see here is really what its like in real life, in other words we are the norm and not the exception.
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wingnut
DAMAGED GOODS AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!
That is if the term used is referring to not standing any more on the doctrine of TWI as taught in their cultic classes. That is if one has to be damaged to no longer promote present and eat and sleep PFAL as the only source of truth in our day and time.
I am damaged if that means I no longer consider a sexual predator the MOG that taught the word like it hasn't been taught since the first century.
Because it is the hard-core PFAL sold-outs that I have heard the term damaged goods used to describe those of us that no longer drool to sit 36 hours at the "teachers" feet and aren't willing to force or trick others to do so.
DAMAGED GOODS AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!
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Nottawayfer
I think people who have learned from their life experiences, whether positive or negative, are the most interesting kind.
It is sad that people are stepped on and broken down only to be kept there by hard-hearted family around them who should be helping them get better.
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rascal
Wingnut, pass those lables this way will ya? I think I will proudly wear one myself :)
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Belle
Those damh triggers!!
We all have them, don't we? And some of mine are the most innocuous things that would surprise most folks and, in the course of "normal" life when it happens, I have to excuse myself from the situation because noone would understand why I suddenly became upset.
This morning, my pastor was preaching about "Please Be Patient With Me, God Isn't Finished With Me Yet". It was a great message and he talked about how we never reach perfection and that he's got just as much to deal with, work on and overcome as the rest of us. I admire that and, coming from TWI, can appreciate it more than probably most in the congregation.
BUT, somewhere toward the end of the message, he said, "The reward for a job well done is more work" and I cringed. :o It was lke fingernails on the chalkboard and took a while for me to refocus on the teaching. I could go my whole life without ever hearing that said again.
"Get over it" is another one of mine, but we've already been there - discussed that. :B)
I'm hoping that some will fall away and not be as intense as time goes on.
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ChattyKathy
I've used broken for so long I don't recall which came first twi or it. And recently I used the word damage when speaking to excath. But in both of those cases it means something done to a person that is not what the body and soul was desgined to partake of. And it alters the person, thus in my vocabulary it breaks or damages the person.
Funny that this comes up because that sentence also had caught my attention and I'm not sure I fully understood the intent. But then I didn't ask either. <_<
Another great thread Abi!
And just in case someone wants to hear the song she's referring to I borrowed this from Nostalgia. HERE!
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