In my opinion, sogwap51, there's always a problem when "communication happens."...My wife is my best editor and critic...Before I start a thread I'll read to her my rough draft [usually 20 pages - LOL] - many times - many times - she'll say "it sounds like you're saying this or that - is that what you're saying?" - or "you sound like you're angry or dispassionate. - are you?" or "can you say it another way - you lost me."....So I go back and see if I need to tweak something...And it's VERY DIFFICULT when we're not face-to-face when trying to communicate to someone - can't hear inflections, or see body language, facial expressions.
Apparently there should be a Greasespot Dictionary so that people don't have to spend 20 pages deciding on a definition for a word and if they are correct or the poster is correct or what the poster meant or they know what they meant....etc, etc. Would make things simpler don't ya think?
Yes it would, but good luck getting that done. There would be 20 pages on each and every letter of every word. Someone tried that we couldn't even agree on what a Wierwillite was.
It may not be a definition, but one one thing that can lead to huge misunderstandings is the misuse use of or the failure to use the words: all, some, many or few.
If a peson means "all', then say all. If they mean "some" then say "some" ... If they mean a "few" .. then say a "few" .....
What happens is that "some" people will read "all" into what is said when what was really meant was "some" or a "few".
Another thing I learned in a Human Communication course, is that sometimes it helps to say what we are not talking about -- in order to help make clear what we are talking about.
Example. I am not adressing this post to you specifically, but to all here at GS, including myself.
What usually happens is when someone is misunderstood, or taken wrong, they usually get back right on and explain that their post was taken wrong... and then usually go on to clarify what it was that they really meant... but that doesn't always happen...
It's the typed word, there's a lot of chance for misinterpretation, sometimes on the part of the poster, sometimes on the part of the reader, which can usually be cleared up with a little further communication if the poster or the reader really care about it being cleared up...
Or not....if the person is attacked for 40 replies (now that is an example, the number...could have picked 20 or 90). SOME of us don't have the opportunity to be on line 24/7. However, defense wasn't the issue in this thread or what a person "usually" would or would not do.
JUST GET OVER IT is such a big thing to ya'll. MY definition of it and when I wrote it...meant:
MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE.
In this phrase your wording, lacking any qualifiers, such as "some", indicates that remembering the past and moving forward with your life are mutually exclusive. They aren't. You are entitled to your opinion that they are but should not be surprised when people, like myself, take umbrage at your unilateral assumption that somehow or another we aren't moving forward. If you, in fact, do not mean this unilaterally you need to post using words like "some" "a few" "many but not all of you"
AND move forward with your life to ME means, let the weights that hold you down diminish.
Again you, in this phrase, are appearing to make the assumption that we are all held down by weights if this is not your intent see the above notation about qualifiers
Do I now need to explain weights? DUH....probably with this group.
This is pure unfettered sarcasm addressed to GSCers as a whole. You are indicating that we are somehow of inferior intelligence to you. It should come as no surprise to you , or any other poster, that the lack of use of qualifiers and the use of demeaning sarcasm will result in strong rebuttal of your stance. To complain that you are unfairly attacked while simultaneously using phraseology which invites attack, especially when the problem has already been pointed out to you, is disingenuous at best
Do I now need to explain weights? DUH....probably with this group.
sogwap, I can understand that what happened in that other thread might have made you mad or hurt your feelings. But come on, what do you hope to accomplish by tossing out a nasty comment like that?
Just a suggestion, but if you're pi$$ed off or hurt or feel misunderstood, couldn't you simply say so, rather than verbally flipping off all the "patrons" of this virtual diner with one sweeping insult?
Sogwap - sometimes it is good to walk away from the computer for a few minutes before hitting that "post" button. The come back and reread what you wrote to see if it really says what you wanted it to.
I understand what happened in the other thread. I understand that what it "seemed" like you were saying was not what you intended to say. Likewise, it can take some time and practice to learn to communicate via this medium - it does take a little extra care with wording because we have no facial expressions or tone of voice.
For example - when you said: "Do I now need to explain weights? DUH....probably with this group."
Well, I can understand your feeling frustrated and angry with those who misunderstood you (though I clearly understand how and why they misunderstood you). But here again you are using statements that read as if they are all inclusive, which leaves me wondering why you would be angry, sarcastic, and belittling to those who defended you on the other thread. Perhaps that is not how you intended to come across in the above statement - but that is how it communicates.
as someone else said, qualifiers are extremely important when we communicate in writing.
Sogwap - sometimes it is good to walk away from the computer for a few minutes before hitting that "post" button. The come back and reread what you wrote to see if it really says what you wanted it to.
Sometimes I even wait until the next time I'm logged on and see if it still seems
like it should be said.
I understand that what it "seemed" like you were saying was not what you intended to say.
I'll accept that-but that's what was SAID anyway.
It was not MEANT to say it, but the wording should have been reviewed
before the "ADD REPLY" button was clicked.
That usually saves ME from having to explain or defend my comments,
and I recommend it for all posters not currently doing that.
Well, I can understand your feeling frustrated and angry with those who misunderstood you (though I clearly understand how and why they misunderstood you). But here again you are using statements that read as if they are all inclusive, which leaves me wondering why you would be angry, sarcastic, and belittling to those who defended you on the other thread. Perhaps that is not how you intended to come across in the above statement - but that is how it communicates.
as someone else said, qualifiers are extremely important when we communicate in writing.
Looks like 4 simple steps would radically reduce the stress one poster is feeling:
1) Don't post angry. Take a break FIRST.
2) Reread the post before submitting. Others will read the post and not your mind.
Was what they will READ what you meant to SAY?
3) Ease off off all-inclusive terms, language and concepts.
All people eat, grow old, and go to the bathroom.
Beyond that, most things are in the category of "MOST PEOPLE" and not "ALL".
4) Remember to turn off the computer and live. Life is neither the internet NOR
any one board. If your self-esteem derives from one board (or several), time to
take a break from the internet and just LIVE.
In case anyone's wondering, these are among general tips on the internet.
Recommended Posts
Belle
ROFLMAO!!!!
We learned all too well how to argue semantics and the definitions of words, didn't we?
Glad to see you haven't abandoned us!!!
May I buy the next round?
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T-Bone
In my opinion, sogwap51, there's always a problem when "communication happens."...My wife is my best editor and critic...Before I start a thread I'll read to her my rough draft [usually 20 pages - LOL] - many times - many times - she'll say "it sounds like you're saying this or that - is that what you're saying?" - or "you sound like you're angry or dispassionate. - are you?" or "can you say it another way - you lost me."....So I go back and see if I need to tweak something...And it's VERY DIFFICULT when we're not face-to-face when trying to communicate to someone - can't hear inflections, or see body language, facial expressions.
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Out There
OK how about a couple of quick definitions for me like what is ROFLMAO? i think LOL is Laugh out Loud, please correct me if I am wrong
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CoolWaters
LOL=Laughing out loud/laugh out loud (you got it!)
ROFLMAO=rolling on floor laughing my a$$ off
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T-Bone
"OK how about a couple of quick definitions for me like what is ROFLMAO? i think LOL is Laugh out Loud, please correct me if I am wrong"
ROFLMAO = Rolling on the Floor Laughing My A$$ Off.
LOL = Laughing out Loud.
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Tom Strange
TYVM
TYVM
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Belle
and CW adds a PIMP to hers....
(peeing in my pants)
TY
TYVM
said in my best Elvis impersonation
(Thank You
Thank you very much)
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justloafing
Or you may see ROTFLMFAO. I will let you figure out what the "F" is.
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WhiteDove
Yes it would, but good luck getting that done. There would be 20 pages on each and every letter of every word.
Someone tried that we couldn't even agree on what a Wierwillite was.
Here
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CoolWaters
Sigh...
What would life be without PIMP added into the fun...
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sogwap51
T-Bone, it's nice you have that available to you -- someone to critique what you write before you send it. I don't have that available to me.
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Goey
Hi Sogwap,
It may not be a definition, but one one thing that can lead to huge misunderstandings is the misuse use of or the failure to use the words: all, some, many or few.
If a peson means "all', then say all. If they mean "some" then say "some" ... If they mean a "few" .. then say a "few" .....
What happens is that "some" people will read "all" into what is said when what was really meant was "some" or a "few".
Another thing I learned in a Human Communication course, is that sometimes it helps to say what we are not talking about -- in order to help make clear what we are talking about.
Example. I am not adressing this post to you specifically, but to all here at GS, including myself.
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tonto
sogwap,
Just send your thoughts to me...the creature...PO Box OU812...
( I am just kidding...please don't anyone jump on me for my lame attempt at humor)
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Tom Strange
What usually happens is when someone is misunderstood, or taken wrong, they usually get back right on and explain that their post was taken wrong... and then usually go on to clarify what it was that they really meant... but that doesn't always happen...
It's the typed word, there's a lot of chance for misinterpretation, sometimes on the part of the poster, sometimes on the part of the reader, which can usually be cleared up with a little further communication if the poster or the reader really care about it being cleared up...
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sogwap51
Or not....if the person is attacked for 40 replies (now that is an example, the number...could have picked 20 or 90). SOME of us don't have the opportunity to be on line 24/7. However, defense wasn't the issue in this thread or what a person "usually" would or would not do.
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sogwap51
JUST GET OVER IT is such a big thing to ya'll. MY definition of it and when I wrote it...meant:
MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE.
AND move forward with your life to ME means, let the weights that hold you down diminish.
Do I now need to explain weights? DUH....probably with this group.
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templelady
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Linda Z
sogwap, I can understand that what happened in that other thread might have made you mad or hurt your feelings. But come on, what do you hope to accomplish by tossing out a nasty comment like that?
Just a suggestion, but if you're pi$$ed off or hurt or feel misunderstood, couldn't you simply say so, rather than verbally flipping off all the "patrons" of this virtual diner with one sweeping insult?
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ChattyKathy
I understood what you meant when you said it. I've also spoken of this.
You could have included some in this group if you wanted to sweep the offenders.
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Abigail
Sogwap - sometimes it is good to walk away from the computer for a few minutes before hitting that "post" button. The come back and reread what you wrote to see if it really says what you wanted it to.
I understand what happened in the other thread. I understand that what it "seemed" like you were saying was not what you intended to say. Likewise, it can take some time and practice to learn to communicate via this medium - it does take a little extra care with wording because we have no facial expressions or tone of voice.
For example - when you said: "Do I now need to explain weights? DUH....probably with this group."
Well, I can understand your feeling frustrated and angry with those who misunderstood you (though I clearly understand how and why they misunderstood you). But here again you are using statements that read as if they are all inclusive, which leaves me wondering why you would be angry, sarcastic, and belittling to those who defended you on the other thread. Perhaps that is not how you intended to come across in the above statement - but that is how it communicates.
as someone else said, qualifiers are extremely important when we communicate in writing.
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WordWolf
Sometimes I even wait until the next time I'm logged on and see if it still seems
like it should be said.
I'll accept that-but that's what was SAID anyway.It was not MEANT to say it, but the wording should have been reviewed
before the "ADD REPLY" button was clicked.
That usually saves ME from having to explain or defend my comments,
and I recommend it for all posters not currently doing that.
Looks like 4 simple steps would radically reduce the stress one poster is feeling:
1) Don't post angry. Take a break FIRST.
2) Reread the post before submitting. Others will read the post and not your mind.
Was what they will READ what you meant to SAY?
3) Ease off off all-inclusive terms, language and concepts.
All people eat, grow old, and go to the bathroom.
Beyond that, most things are in the category of "MOST PEOPLE" and not "ALL".
4) Remember to turn off the computer and live. Life is neither the internet NOR
any one board. If your self-esteem derives from one board (or several), time to
take a break from the internet and just LIVE.
In case anyone's wondering, these are among general tips on the internet.
I've posted these elsewhere before, in fact.
(Although I've rephrased myself.)
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krys
Some of us - well - sometimes - we nitpick way too much.
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