PHILOSOPHY

[Jade]

JUST SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR: I DID NOT GO TO SNOPES, AND I DID NOT GET A REAL PHILOSOPHERS EXPERT ADVICE. JUST GOT THIS IN AN EMAIL AND THOUGH IT WAS CUTE.

Philosophy

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize

cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her

brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.

They

always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to

hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting yourhair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same

time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of

milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white

shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's

lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a

tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a

few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that

held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on

the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the

fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the

preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can

do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the

same sensation from a

rocking chair that you once got from a rolle

coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers

but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy

beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes

alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is . having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is . having friends.

At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.

Always remember to forget the troubles that pass

your way; BUT NEVER forget

the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!

Life is too short

[Shellon]

[Belle]

Cute, Jade. :)

I love that one about hiding brocooli in milk.

[SafariVista]

Thank you Jade... I've heard these before... but they're just as good the second time around :)

[GT]

According to snopes, cats can be baptized given a sufficient quantiy of water and cat nip.

.....

Just kidding......

[Belle]

:P

Where's CW with that spanking smilie when you need it?

[Ca_dreaming]

Having friends yeeha....Can't get any better than that......

[pawtucket]

I checked Snopes and this post never happened