I had a very simple Way ceremony in a garden setting..It was wonderful. The female ordained clergy, my fiance and I had a shot of JD before the service it decided to be a little chilly that day. Im talking in 77, so things were alot more lovin...to say the least..:)
My mom fell asleep 3 years ago. I had a exway Clergy do the services..His whole heart was to console the hurt and dispair with the Word. After the service he even attend the luncheon for our friends and family...he wanted to be there incase peope needed helpp or someone to talk to..Is that a loving serving heart.... I even requested a special song to be played before the service started..It was a special country gospel song my mom loved...How wonderful was that to honor her and to have those blessings during a service of a person who so loved her family and cared for so many..I am so thankful......
you wrote is so way like...Im sure those two were planning to be married eventualy. It is the more responsible thing to do is to get married and not live together...Its the forced AUXANO..that bothers me..Please...performance testing..ha! They should of approached them earlier......its that forced auxano that bothers me..or the performance testing....geesh
Not living together--Hmm that was never a problem when I was in.
My marriage to my second husband was while I was in The way.
Had It at another couples house--nice ceremony just a few friends.
The thing I remember most was how different my wedding was to the couple who lived in the Limb coordinators house (live in help--although that isn't what it was called) and another couples held that same year. For their weddings all the believers got together and made Hor d'ourves and did silk flowers etc. my wedding, I did my own flowers, (mind you I'd done all the flowers for one of the other weddings) and it was a simple cake with cheese and crackers on the side that I paid for, the couple in whose house it was held bought the Champagne. I'd already had a few run-ins with leadership--so their displeasure was made manifest in the most tangible of ways
Interesting from what I gather anyone living together who wants to get married needs to do a justice of the peace thing....but then twi always makes exceptions if your relatives know the right people in leadership and are good enough at brown-nosing.
A beautiful young couple in AL (or it could have been GA... anyhow...) approached to LC about getting married. They were already engaged - and so in love.
First mistake.
They were told that they should have asked to get engaged first.
They had already began planning the wedding - they wanted to get married at DisneyLand.
Second mistake.
They were told that since they planned to be married at DisneyLand, that they should be able to buy tickets for anyone who wanted to attend - after all, all the believers were invited - but since they didn't, and because they had gotten engaged without permission - that the clergy absolutely refused to marry them. He went on to boycott the wedding and was really steamed about it for quite a while. (They had offered to buy his and his family's tickets - but because the whole darn state couldn't go... well...)
They got married at DisneyLand with a JOP, just like they wanted.
If that move didn't put them in the cross-hairs of the local leadership... HA!
A few months before we declared our independence, Mrs. Patriot and I witnessed one of the most cruel twi weddings. What a nightmare, that haunts me still!!! Maybe you've seen ones like this, but I never would have imagined.... :(
A sweet local believer (a real southern belle) was going to get married. They asked one of twi's clergy to officiate. They were told that for it to be a twi wedding, it was 100% a ministry event, and the final say-so was the clergy. I think the line was "A ministry wedding isn't a sonship right." They treated the bride's family like, since it was a ministry event, they had no role in planning their daughter's wedding, but could attend anyway if they would mind their own business.
Long story short, the bride's father was so infuriated, he and his wife threatened to hold back the money he promised to fund the large wedding. Much of it had to do with (as someone involved told me) where the clergy was to sit during the reception. The couple had them at the center of the head table, and then the best man and matron of honor next to each of them. It was a large rectangle head table. They did a lot of pre-research into etiquette books to make sure things were done right, and that special consideration was given to the clergyman and his wife. They had a special table of honor for the clergy & his wife up in the front. Was this good enough?? OOOOhhhhh noooo!
The clergyman insisted, because it was how he was instructed, that he and his wife were to flank the couple at the rectangle head table, then others in their parties. It became soo contentious!!! Unkindly contentious
and combative with the couple and their families. From what my local twig coordinator (who was involved in the whole event), said, HQ and the Trunk were deeply involved in this local event. This huge conflict just tore this bride up something fierce! I remember my own local leadership (a good guy) was out consoling the destroyed and tearful bride, late at night, the night before her own wedding. What a way to spend the night, which should have been such a happy occasion.
IMO, if I were that couple, I would recommit their vows in the future to put a better memory in mind (and pictures) just to put a happy commencement on their marriage.
I am thankful my wedding was not a ministry event.
Ours was a beautiful thing. It was like a family reunion- well union, up in the mountains for several days with close family and friends.
My wife and I did live together before we got married and I don't really see a problem with that for two mature adults who have open, honest, and genuine communication and love. For us it wasn't a matter of "trying eachother out." It made sense financially, for one. Since we spent every available waking and non waking moment together it seemed like a waste of money to have two rents just to keep up appearances that we didn't care about anyways.
Besides we had already decided to commit ourselves to eachother. The commitment of marriage comes down to two people, and when that decision is made is when the commitment starts. The marriage cerimony is just a public persentation and celebration of the commitment you have already made. So in our eyes we were already "married." If you have already discussed "to death do us part" with eachother and agree, then saying it in front of family and friends doesn't suddenly make it so.
I feel sorry for these kids.
My younger brother who is still involved with twi is getting married. I don't know how much the local LC is controlling the situation, although, I know him personally and know he tends to do that. I also know that for some reason I am not in the wedding party while my older brother who is corps is. I can only imagine one reason why I am not, but perhaps I am wrong. I can only assume that the LC had some say in that, since he is doing the wedding and since it is usually customary to have your siblings stand for your wedding and seeing as that is how we did it for both my wedding and my older brother's wedding. I'm not upset with my brother but rather more upset for him, because I think that without the presiding LC being involved he would have asked me to stand up with him. I don't want to push it either, becuase I know the stress of planning a wedding and I don't want to add to that. I want it to be about them. Hopefully that happens.
Besides the LC and I aren't exactly big fans of eachother. Me not his for him being a ignorant evil prick and him not mine...well because I left the ministry. Since I left everytime he has looked at me or my wife it has been either a nasty glare or a plastic smile...usually depending on whether anyone else was around or looking. I wouldn't want to distact him from doing his job at my bro's wedding.
At the time, I was GLAD my wedding was a ministry wedding. Both my wife and I are the black sheep of our families for totally opposite reasons: she, a protestant fundamentalist from birth who defected to a "cult", and me, born into an ultra liberal family before defecting to a "cult". So getting both our families under the same roof was akin to causing the planets to line up.
But neither family had to pay for anything except the gifts they got us and, for my family, the travel. Everybody else involved was TWI. Our twig did all the decorations, food, etc. and the wedding was in our house, so neither family could ruin the event, plus...there was no strife between either family with each other or the TWI people; it was a pleasant event. If I would have had $1 million to spend on a wedding I wouldn't have changed anything.
It was incredible, the branch turned out and helped with everything. They made my family feel welcome and like visiting dignitaries. They made my spouse and I feel like royalty.
Everything was beautifull, the church was rented, the tuxes, the pianist hired, the room rented at the holiday inn for the reception....the food bought the flowers ready....the whole branch to be there...family flying in from all over the united states....the ONLY fly in the ointment is on the monday before the wedding our lc is called to the infamous clergy meetings :blink:
Huge wedding planned and no minister...yikes! Talk about a stressed out bride....
We ended up getting married in a small private ceremony at the house with our bridle party on weds and lc since he was the only one who could legally do it.
We then had one of Mark corpes buddies preform the one that everybody attended.
I felt so sneaky, all of these people traveling for a wedding when we were already married...but what`s a bride going to do?
Both services were wonderfull, the believers in the branch were incredible...the reception afterwards a joyous event, we rode to the reception in a carriage and we put a corsage on her and even snuck my dog in :)
Wish I knew where alla those folks are today to thank for making our day so special. I felt like the luckiest girl alive that day :)
Having two ceremonies must have worked....it will be 20 yrs and 7 kids ago in Nov.
Doggone it, I hate that those officious oafs are ruining that special day for those kids :(
I don`t think these guys have any conception that it is about the couple and making their day memorable. It is all about the ministry leaders recieving their ego stroke <_<
I wish that everyones wedding could be made as special as the believers and leaders who worked so unselfishly to ensure that ours was.
My wedding was fine and wonderful. The people who came were the people whom I met in Juneau when I came here to "start a twig" as my Corps graduation assigment was worded. The LC came down (still a wonderful friend-and out for as long as me) from Anchorage and it was a fine time. My wife and I were married six weeks after I met her at Corps week in 1983, and because it was such a short time from meeting her and the wedding, my folks didn't make it out from the East Coast, for, Juneau, Alaska, is a long way to come. But their blessings came with their hearts and love. Her Mom couldn't make it either, being in a nursing home and all...
And so, we were married on the ninth floor of the Baranoff Hotel in a meeting room that was divided across the middle, with the wedding on one side, and the reception on the other. Just off from the "reception side" was a neat little honeymoon suite complete with living room, kitchen, and down the hallway, a bedroom and bathroom. The view overlooked the mountains, the sea, and downtown Juneau. My best man had a pint of Jack Daniels from which we sipped, and my clergy friend even had a swaller as well, just before we commenced. There was even this drunk chick that came and sat in attendance whom I had met who came to twig once. But she didn't want the fellowship or the Bible. She was a really "randy lassie" and had wanted nothing more than sex with me, and had been very open about it. But, I had declined, and as it turned out, I had been very very wise to have done so! It was really funny, because, when my best man and the clergy guy and I were riding up in the elevator, the elevator stopped at a floor on the way up to the ninth floor, and this girl steps into the elevator with a cocktail in her hand. And there I was with a nice charcoal gray Pierre Cardin suit on, with my two handsome friends, and she looks at me and says; "Jonny!" Look at you!" And then she hugs me. And I turn beet red. And then she asks; "And who are these two handsome men! You all look so great! What are you all doing all nice and dressed up?" As she takes a drink of her mai tai or whatever-it did have an umbrella in itwhich seemed to almost poke her in the eye-my LC clergy friend (Steve) looks at me as if to ask; "And so, what have you been doing down here in Juneau all last year?" But he had a curious smile, and so did my best man, as I murmured into his ear; "I'll tell ya later".
And then with a mischievous smirk, Rev. Steve says to me; "And so, Jonny, are you going to answer her question and then introduce us"? Stumbling in my speech, but regaining my confidence, I took a breath and said; "Blue, Steve, this is Jules. Jules is also from Maryland, and we celebrated the victory of the Washington Redskins this year in Super Bowl 17 at the Red Dog Saloon and-Jules then interrupts with a slurred; "Go Redskins!"- and we have been friends ever since. Jules came to twig one time as a matter of fact", and, turning to Jules I said; "Jules, today, I am getting married!" And Jules squealed with delight, saying that she loved weddings. And right on cue, Steve, my LC says; "And you are invited Jules, if you'd like to come". And so she came. It was really funny, because she was dressed in some sort of an 1890's gold rush dance hall girl period costume with a long feather in her punk rock haircut that stuck up about ten inches. And, she was pretty drunk. And during the short and sweet ceremony, she kept burping and farting, but then re-composing herself with a smile each time. But each time she burped or shifted her derriere' to one side in order to let one fly, her pheasant feather would bob to and fro, and up and down, adding to the hilarium. The five teenage kids at the wedding couldn't control their giggles very well, and my bride and I were doing our best to check our laughter but were smirking at Steve, who was officiating and controlling his laughter with amazing self control. I think I was trying to get him to laugh, since he had invited her. And after Jules left when the champagne was gone, we all laughed uproariously over the incident as we imitated Jules's not so proper wedding ettiquette. Too funny man, too funny! My wife and I laugh about that one to this very day. NIce that our wedding was simple and not religious at all.
Ya know, I had been to a number of Way weddings over the years, and never did I witness anything like what was described in some of the negative incidents as have been described above. I truly believe that TWI I-as many here have nick named it-was a much sweeter place to be, in contrast to what many later comers have experienced.
And so, our wedding was sweet and simple, with only fourteen people, and after 23 years and four kids, we're still hitched for life! :) (and once again, living in Juneau)
Major sore spot for me. Major heartbreak for me. :(
Moynihan married my ex and me. We had the requisite pre-marital counselling and it was way more involved than I had ever imagined.
I vividly remember sitting in Moynihan's office with him talking about standing up in front of our 'unbelieving parents'. I corrected him as my ex's parents are devout Catholic and my parents good little Southern Baptists and Sunday School Teachers for cripes sake. <_< But no, they are referred to as "unbelievers" because "we can't be sure since we've never heard them speak in tongues" :blink:
We can't let them be very involved with the wedding and none of our 'unbelieving' friends and family should be invovled either because "when you get unbelievers involved it brings out the worse in them and they always screw something up."
So, nix my best girlfriend for my whole life being my bridesmaid. :(
Nix my cousin singing at the wedding.
Nix anyone in my family being in the wedding party.
My ex has always wanted an outdoor wedding but Bob nixed that idea right away. Bobby hates outdoor weddings.
We had to find a place and we couldn't rent it till Bob approved it.
We had to wait for Bob to tell us what date we could get married (Brian and Kristin got married the week-end after we did - we had to wait for them to set a date first).
We had to have a couple "coordinate" our wedding and meet with them on a regular basis to keep them updated on what the plans were.
He had a timeline for everyone who was helping with the wedding and where they were supposed to be and when. OK - That was a pretty cool idea and worked very well.
We had to have the songs approved that would be used in the wedding.
We had to find a photographer who would be willing to come to the rehearsal.
We had to have the rehearsal on the same day as the wedding because if Bob was going to give up his whole day to do our wedding (and weddings take up the whole day, Bob says) then we're going to do the rehearsal right before the wedding instead of taking up two of his days.
Our wedding party only had one of my ex's sisters in it and the rest were ministry folk - only three of whom really meant something special to us. One of the groomsmen was kicked out & M&A shortly before the wedding, so we had to get a replacement at the last minute.....
We had put so many restrictions on my mother that she was only permitted to have one bridal shower for me.... That don't fly in the South..... I had one shower alright - it was four hours long, had fifteen hostesses, I stood in the receiving line the entire time, we didn't have time to play any games or open any of the presents because the whole town came through the home where the shower was held. They just had no idea what they were doing when they tried to put boundaries on southerners and their weddings. ;)
On my wedding day, my mother was constantly corralled and they tried to keep her away from me the whole time. She had brought pictures of us together when I was a kid and other very sweet and sentimental stuff for me to have around me while I got ready, but they wouldn't let her put it out because "it might cause negative thoughts, fear or unbelieving". :unsure:
I can't tell you how un little girl dream wedding-ish my wedding was or how much it breaks my heart to think about all the people I alienated during that time and left out of what was supposed to be the happiest, most memorable day of my life.
Next time - If I get to have a next time - It's gonna be a JOP and a huge keg party BBQ!!
p.s. (cause I can :) ) A year later Bob allowed a couple to have a ceremony on the beach.
Wow. Belle, and all of the rest of youz who were sooo micromanaged before and during your wedding. So sad fore shore. I don't think I could have handled it and would have told them to go and **** themselves. But, sometimes my temper gets the best of me. But I would have been sorely tempted to....
Oh, and I forgot to add the man who's only responsibility for the whole day was to keep my ex's father away from Moynihan cause he didn't like ex's daddy.
I had a ministry wedding. It wasn't too bad, but that was the early 80s so things weren't so harsh yet. There was that pesky two-week, no-wedding window before and after the ROA. Twi didn't want any conflicts for their clergy, and that is understandable. I wanted to wait a few months but the fiance insisted we get married as soon after ROA as possible.
But, this was back in the days of actual relocations for corps, so we had a few people who got last-minute assigment changes at the Rock, and they were trying to plan and move, and other friends were in college and they were trying to get back to school, and of course the fiance and I were from two different states and had to fly in lots of relatives. Yikes, what a scheduling nightmare.
That, and the believer-made wedding cake that had yellow and blue icing on it, even though I had told them my colors were burgundy and pink... ???? I never did an answer about how that happened. lol.
No, it was actually a very nice event. None of my family was treated badly, and my dad (a sarcastic anti-religious guy) actually hit it off with our twi minister. I was amazed.
But I was on the edges of a few 90s engagements and weddings. Harsh, legalistic, hurtful, lifeless affairs.
Dang, Patriot - I forgot about the seating arrangement requirements. Yes, we had to have Bob & Tootie at our table instead of our parents. Yet one more way they alienated us from our families.
I was engaged to guy who lived in Iowa...ya know, the one I could only visit every three weeks. We had counseling with his fellowship co ord, which was the LC's too. They were so delighted and happy for us. They were going to do a fellowship announcement that Sunday of our engagement, and was going to take a special picture of us to display on a table for all the believers in the fellowship to see which would of included the dates,etc.....I loved those folks. I got booted out and that was it...my BC told us our spiritual commitment was void...this was 99.
Nice DMiller. Glad it went so well, and what a beautiful little chapel!
And thanks CoolChef! to you too! Yeah, that was such a funny thing. That gal still lives here in Juneau. She is the "Queen Bartenderess" at the Triangle Bar in beautiful downtown Juneau. She has gotten tough and is sort of a hard ...., and is known for being "no-nonsense" and all of that. I went in and said hi to her once when I finally recognized she was her, but she didn't seem to remember much. I think that "the drink" has been hard on her since she has obviously been hard on the drink...
Dang, Patriot - I forgot about the seating arrangement requirements. Yes, we had to have Bob & Tootie at our table instead of our parents. Yet one more way they alienated us from our families.
Oh man, just when I think I won't be surprised by what twi did to their brethren something like this comes along. Those miserable somebodys!
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likeaneagle
Nano-
I had a very simple Way ceremony in a garden setting..It was wonderful. The female ordained clergy, my fiance and I had a shot of JD before the service it decided to be a little chilly that day. Im talking in 77, so things were alot more lovin...to say the least..:)
My mom fell asleep 3 years ago. I had a exway Clergy do the services..His whole heart was to console the hurt and dispair with the Word. After the service he even attend the luncheon for our friends and family...he wanted to be there incase peope needed helpp or someone to talk to..Is that a loving serving heart.... I even requested a special song to be played before the service started..It was a special country gospel song my mom loved...How wonderful was that to honor her and to have those blessings during a service of a person who so loved her family and cared for so many..I am so thankful......
you wrote is so way like...Im sure those two were planning to be married eventualy. It is the more responsible thing to do is to get married and not live together...Its the forced AUXANO..that bothers me..Please...performance testing..ha! They should of approached them earlier......its that forced auxano that bothers me..or the performance testing....geesh
to be out.
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templelady
Not living together--Hmm that was never a problem when I was in.
My marriage to my second husband was while I was in The way.
Had It at another couples house--nice ceremony just a few friends.
The thing I remember most was how different my wedding was to the couple who lived in the Limb coordinators house (live in help--although that isn't what it was called) and another couples held that same year. For their weddings all the believers got together and made Hor d'ourves and did silk flowers etc. my wedding, I did my own flowers, (mind you I'd done all the flowers for one of the other weddings) and it was a simple cake with cheese and crackers on the side that I paid for, the couple in whose house it was held bought the Champagne. I'd already had a few run-ins with leadership--so their displeasure was made manifest in the most tangible of ways
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Tom Strange
Those BASTAGES! I would've brought you snow cones!
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penguin
Interesting from what I gather anyone living together who wants to get married needs to do a justice of the peace thing....but then twi always makes exceptions if your relatives know the right people in leadership and are good enough at brown-nosing.
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ChasUFarley
This happened in the early 90's...
A beautiful young couple in AL (or it could have been GA... anyhow...) approached to LC about getting married. They were already engaged - and so in love.
First mistake.
They were told that they should have asked to get engaged first.
They had already began planning the wedding - they wanted to get married at DisneyLand.
Second mistake.
They were told that since they planned to be married at DisneyLand, that they should be able to buy tickets for anyone who wanted to attend - after all, all the believers were invited - but since they didn't, and because they had gotten engaged without permission - that the clergy absolutely refused to marry them. He went on to boycott the wedding and was really steamed about it for quite a while. (They had offered to buy his and his family's tickets - but because the whole darn state couldn't go... well...)
They got married at DisneyLand with a JOP, just like they wanted.
If that move didn't put them in the cross-hairs of the local leadership... HA!
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Patriot
A tough topic for me.
A few months before we declared our independence, Mrs. Patriot and I witnessed one of the most cruel twi weddings. What a nightmare, that haunts me still!!! Maybe you've seen ones like this, but I never would have imagined.... :(
A sweet local believer (a real southern belle) was going to get married. They asked one of twi's clergy to officiate. They were told that for it to be a twi wedding, it was 100% a ministry event, and the final say-so was the clergy. I think the line was "A ministry wedding isn't a sonship right." They treated the bride's family like, since it was a ministry event, they had no role in planning their daughter's wedding, but could attend anyway if they would mind their own business.
Long story short, the bride's father was so infuriated, he and his wife threatened to hold back the money he promised to fund the large wedding. Much of it had to do with (as someone involved told me) where the clergy was to sit during the reception. The couple had them at the center of the head table, and then the best man and matron of honor next to each of them. It was a large rectangle head table. They did a lot of pre-research into etiquette books to make sure things were done right, and that special consideration was given to the clergyman and his wife. They had a special table of honor for the clergy & his wife up in the front. Was this good enough?? OOOOhhhhh noooo!
The clergyman insisted, because it was how he was instructed, that he and his wife were to flank the couple at the rectangle head table, then others in their parties. It became soo contentious!!! Unkindly contentious
and combative with the couple and their families. From what my local twig coordinator (who was involved in the whole event), said, HQ and the Trunk were deeply involved in this local event. This huge conflict just tore this bride up something fierce! I remember my own local leadership (a good guy) was out consoling the destroyed and tearful bride, late at night, the night before her own wedding. What a way to spend the night, which should have been such a happy occasion.
IMO, if I were that couple, I would recommit their vows in the future to put a better memory in mind (and pictures) just to put a happy commencement on their marriage.
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lindyhopper
I am thankful my wedding was not a ministry event.
Ours was a beautiful thing. It was like a family reunion- well union, up in the mountains for several days with close family and friends.
My wife and I did live together before we got married and I don't really see a problem with that for two mature adults who have open, honest, and genuine communication and love. For us it wasn't a matter of "trying eachother out." It made sense financially, for one. Since we spent every available waking and non waking moment together it seemed like a waste of money to have two rents just to keep up appearances that we didn't care about anyways.
Besides we had already decided to commit ourselves to eachother. The commitment of marriage comes down to two people, and when that decision is made is when the commitment starts. The marriage cerimony is just a public persentation and celebration of the commitment you have already made. So in our eyes we were already "married." If you have already discussed "to death do us part" with eachother and agree, then saying it in front of family and friends doesn't suddenly make it so.
I feel sorry for these kids.
My younger brother who is still involved with twi is getting married. I don't know how much the local LC is controlling the situation, although, I know him personally and know he tends to do that. I also know that for some reason I am not in the wedding party while my older brother who is corps is. I can only imagine one reason why I am not, but perhaps I am wrong. I can only assume that the LC had some say in that, since he is doing the wedding and since it is usually customary to have your siblings stand for your wedding and seeing as that is how we did it for both my wedding and my older brother's wedding. I'm not upset with my brother but rather more upset for him, because I think that without the presiding LC being involved he would have asked me to stand up with him. I don't want to push it either, becuase I know the stress of planning a wedding and I don't want to add to that. I want it to be about them. Hopefully that happens.
Besides the LC and I aren't exactly big fans of eachother. Me not his for him being a ignorant evil prick and him not mine...well because I left the ministry. Since I left everytime he has looked at me or my wife it has been either a nasty glare or a plastic smile...usually depending on whether anyone else was around or looking. I wouldn't want to distact him from doing his job at my bro's wedding.
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johniam
At the time, I was GLAD my wedding was a ministry wedding. Both my wife and I are the black sheep of our families for totally opposite reasons: she, a protestant fundamentalist from birth who defected to a "cult", and me, born into an ultra liberal family before defecting to a "cult". So getting both our families under the same roof was akin to causing the planets to line up.
But neither family had to pay for anything except the gifts they got us and, for my family, the travel. Everybody else involved was TWI. Our twig did all the decorations, food, etc. and the wedding was in our house, so neither family could ruin the event, plus...there was no strife between either family with each other or the TWI people; it was a pleasant event. If I would have had $1 million to spend on a wedding I wouldn't have changed anything.
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rascal
Mine was a ministry wedding.
It was incredible, the branch turned out and helped with everything. They made my family feel welcome and like visiting dignitaries. They made my spouse and I feel like royalty.
Everything was beautifull, the church was rented, the tuxes, the pianist hired, the room rented at the holiday inn for the reception....the food bought the flowers ready....the whole branch to be there...family flying in from all over the united states....the ONLY fly in the ointment is on the monday before the wedding our lc is called to the infamous clergy meetings :blink:
Huge wedding planned and no minister...yikes! Talk about a stressed out bride....
We ended up getting married in a small private ceremony at the house with our bridle party on weds and lc since he was the only one who could legally do it.
We then had one of Mark corpes buddies preform the one that everybody attended.
I felt so sneaky, all of these people traveling for a wedding when we were already married...but what`s a bride going to do?
Both services were wonderfull, the believers in the branch were incredible...the reception afterwards a joyous event, we rode to the reception in a carriage and we put a corsage on her and even snuck my dog in :)
Wish I knew where alla those folks are today to thank for making our day so special. I felt like the luckiest girl alive that day :)
Having two ceremonies must have worked....it will be 20 yrs and 7 kids ago in Nov.
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rascal
Doggone it, I hate that those officious oafs are ruining that special day for those kids :(
I don`t think these guys have any conception that it is about the couple and making their day memorable. It is all about the ministry leaders recieving their ego stroke <_<
I wish that everyones wedding could be made as special as the believers and leaders who worked so unselfishly to ensure that ours was.
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J0nny Ling0
My wedding was fine and wonderful. The people who came were the people whom I met in Juneau when I came here to "start a twig" as my Corps graduation assigment was worded. The LC came down (still a wonderful friend-and out for as long as me) from Anchorage and it was a fine time. My wife and I were married six weeks after I met her at Corps week in 1983, and because it was such a short time from meeting her and the wedding, my folks didn't make it out from the East Coast, for, Juneau, Alaska, is a long way to come. But their blessings came with their hearts and love. Her Mom couldn't make it either, being in a nursing home and all...
And so, we were married on the ninth floor of the Baranoff Hotel in a meeting room that was divided across the middle, with the wedding on one side, and the reception on the other. Just off from the "reception side" was a neat little honeymoon suite complete with living room, kitchen, and down the hallway, a bedroom and bathroom. The view overlooked the mountains, the sea, and downtown Juneau. My best man had a pint of Jack Daniels from which we sipped, and my clergy friend even had a swaller as well, just before we commenced. There was even this drunk chick that came and sat in attendance whom I had met who came to twig once. But she didn't want the fellowship or the Bible. She was a really "randy lassie" and had wanted nothing more than sex with me, and had been very open about it. But, I had declined, and as it turned out, I had been very very wise to have done so! It was really funny, because, when my best man and the clergy guy and I were riding up in the elevator, the elevator stopped at a floor on the way up to the ninth floor, and this girl steps into the elevator with a cocktail in her hand. And there I was with a nice charcoal gray Pierre Cardin suit on, with my two handsome friends, and she looks at me and says; "Jonny!" Look at you!" And then she hugs me. And I turn beet red.
And then she asks; "And who are these two handsome men! You all look so great! What are you all doing all nice and dressed up?" As she takes a drink of her mai tai or whatever-it did have an umbrella in itwhich seemed to almost poke her in the eye-my LC clergy friend (Steve) looks at me as if to ask; "And so, what have you been doing down here in Juneau all last year?" But he had a curious smile, and so did my best man, as I murmured into his ear; "I'll tell ya later".
And then with a mischievous smirk, Rev. Steve says to me; "And so, Jonny, are you going to answer her question and then introduce us"? Stumbling in my speech, but regaining my confidence, I took a breath and said; "Blue, Steve, this is Jules. Jules is also from Maryland, and we celebrated the victory of the Washington Redskins this year in Super Bowl 17 at the Red Dog Saloon and-Jules then interrupts with a slurred; "Go Redskins!"- and we have been friends ever since. Jules came to twig one time as a matter of fact", and, turning to Jules I said; "Jules, today, I am getting married!" And Jules squealed with delight, saying that she loved weddings. And right on cue, Steve, my LC says; "And you are invited Jules, if you'd like to come". And so she came. It was really funny, because she was dressed in some sort of an 1890's gold rush dance hall girl period costume with a long feather in her punk rock haircut that stuck up about ten inches. And, she was pretty drunk. And during the short and sweet ceremony, she kept burping and farting, but then re-composing herself with a smile each time. But each time she burped or shifted her derriere' to one side in order to let one fly, her pheasant feather would bob to and fro, and up and down, adding to the hilarium. The five teenage kids at the wedding couldn't control their giggles very well, and my bride and I were doing our best to check our laughter but were smirking at Steve, who was officiating and controlling his laughter with amazing self control. I think I was trying to get him to laugh, since he had invited her. And after Jules left when the champagne was gone, we all laughed uproariously over the incident as we imitated Jules's not so proper wedding ettiquette. Too funny man, too funny! My wife and I laugh about that one to this very day. NIce that our wedding was simple and not religious at all.
Ya know, I had been to a number of Way weddings over the years, and never did I witness anything like what was described in some of the negative incidents as have been described above. I truly believe that TWI I-as many here have nick named it-was a much sweeter place to be, in contrast to what many later comers have experienced.
And so, our wedding was sweet and simple, with only fourteen people, and after 23 years and four kids, we're still hitched for life! :) (and once again, living in Juneau)
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Belle
Major sore spot for me.
Major heartbreak for me. :(
Moynihan married my ex and me. We had the requisite pre-marital counselling and it was way more involved than I had ever imagined.
I vividly remember sitting in Moynihan's office with him talking about standing up in front of our 'unbelieving parents'. I corrected him as my ex's parents are devout Catholic and my parents good little Southern Baptists and Sunday School Teachers for cripes sake. <_< But no, they are referred to as "unbelievers" because "we can't be sure since we've never heard them speak in tongues" :blink:
We can't let them be very involved with the wedding and none of our 'unbelieving' friends and family should be invovled either because "when you get unbelievers involved it brings out the worse in them and they always screw something up."
So, nix my best girlfriend for my whole life being my bridesmaid. :(
Nix my cousin singing at the wedding.
Nix anyone in my family being in the wedding party.
My ex has always wanted an outdoor wedding but Bob nixed that idea right away.
Bobby hates outdoor weddings.
We had to find a place and we couldn't rent it till Bob approved it.
We had to wait for Bob to tell us what date we could get married (Brian and Kristin got married the week-end after we did - we had to wait for them to set a date first).
We had to have a couple "coordinate" our wedding and meet with them on a regular basis to keep them updated on what the plans were.
He had a timeline for everyone who was helping with the wedding and where they were supposed to be and when. OK - That was a pretty cool idea and worked very well.
We had to have the songs approved that would be used in the wedding.
We had to find a photographer who would be willing to come to the rehearsal.
We had to have the rehearsal on the same day as the wedding because if Bob was going to give up his whole day to do our wedding (and weddings take up the whole day, Bob says) then we're going to do the rehearsal right before the wedding instead of taking up two of his days.
Our wedding party only had one of my ex's sisters in it and the rest were ministry folk - only three of whom really meant something special to us. One of the groomsmen was kicked out & M&A shortly before the wedding, so we had to get a replacement at the last minute.....
We had put so many restrictions on my mother that she was only permitted to have one bridal shower for me.... That don't fly in the South..... I had one shower alright - it was four hours long, had fifteen hostesses, I stood in the receiving line the entire time, we didn't have time to play any games or open any of the presents because the whole town came through the home where the shower was held. They just had no idea what they were doing when they tried to put boundaries on southerners and their weddings. ;)
On my wedding day, my mother was constantly corralled and they tried to keep her away from me the whole time. She had brought pictures of us together when I was a kid and other very sweet and sentimental stuff for me to have around me while I got ready, but they wouldn't let her put it out because "it might cause negative thoughts, fear or unbelieving". :unsure:
I can't tell you how un little girl dream wedding-ish my wedding was or how much it breaks my heart to think about all the people I alienated during that time and left out of what was supposed to be the happiest, most memorable day of my life.
Next time - If I get to have a next time - It's gonna be a JOP and a huge keg party BBQ!!
p.s. (cause I can :) ) A year later Bob allowed a couple to have a ceremony on the beach.
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J0nny Ling0
Wow. Belle, and all of the rest of youz who were sooo micromanaged before and during your wedding. So sad fore shore. I don't think I could have handled it and would have told them to go and **** themselves. But, sometimes my temper gets the best of me. But I would have been sorely tempted to....
Guess I have lots to be thankful for..*hiccup!*
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Belle
Oh, and I forgot to add the man who's only responsibility for the whole day was to keep my ex's father away from Moynihan cause he didn't like ex's daddy.
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TheHighWay
I had a ministry wedding. It wasn't too bad, but that was the early 80s so things weren't so harsh yet. There was that pesky two-week, no-wedding window before and after the ROA. Twi didn't want any conflicts for their clergy, and that is understandable. I wanted to wait a few months but the fiance insisted we get married as soon after ROA as possible.
But, this was back in the days of actual relocations for corps, so we had a few people who got last-minute assigment changes at the Rock, and they were trying to plan and move, and other friends were in college and they were trying to get back to school, and of course the fiance and I were from two different states and had to fly in lots of relatives. Yikes, what a scheduling nightmare.
That, and the believer-made wedding cake that had yellow and blue icing on it, even though I had told them my colors were burgundy and pink... ???? I never did an answer about how that happened. lol.
No, it was actually a very nice event. None of my family was treated badly, and my dad (a sarcastic anti-religious guy) actually hit it off with our twi minister. I was amazed.
But I was on the edges of a few 90s engagements and weddings. Harsh, legalistic, hurtful, lifeless affairs.
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Belle
Dang, Patriot - I forgot about the seating arrangement requirements. Yes, we had to have Bob & Tootie at our table instead of our parents.
Yet one more way they alienated us from our families.
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likeaneagle
Forgot this one...maybe this is a good sign.
I was engaged to guy who lived in Iowa...ya know, the one I could only visit every three weeks. We had counseling with his fellowship co ord, which was the LC's too. They were so delighted and happy for us. They were going to do a fellowship announcement that Sunday of our engagement, and was going to take a special picture of us to display on a table for all the believers in the fellowship to see which would of included the dates,etc.....I loved those folks. I got booted out and that was it...my BC told us our spiritual commitment was void...this was 99.
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dmiller
I got married here, at Beck Chapel, on the Indiana University campus.
JAL officiated, and Bill M*rton played harpsichord for the ceremony.
They were invited to be a part of the wedding -- not control it.
And control it they did not. They had no choice in the matter.
I asked JAL to perform the ceremony, and he asked "When??"
I gave him the date, and he showed up.
We set up everything the way we wanted, families showed up,
the local branch showed up, and there were good times had by all.
It's sad that (nowdays), the whole thing has to be so micro-managed.
At the reception, JAL was at one of the head tables, but not the head one.
My mother, and my mother-in-law were in their glory, and if ANY minister
would have presumed to have kicked them away from this (their moment),
there would have been some SERIOUS $H!t flying!!
This was 1975.
The marriage got *rocky* later on, but it sure didn't start that way.
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likeaneagle
D
That is a beautiful place:)
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
jonny you tell a wonderful story! i chuckled all the way through it!
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J0nny Ling0
Nice DMiller. Glad it went so well, and what a beautiful little chapel!
And thanks CoolChef!
to you too! Yeah, that was such a funny thing. That gal still lives here in Juneau. She is the "Queen Bartenderess" at the Triangle Bar in beautiful downtown Juneau. She has gotten tough and is sort of a hard ...., and is known for being "no-nonsense" and all of that. I went in and said hi to her once when I finally recognized she was her, but she didn't seem to remember much. I think that "the drink" has been hard on her since she has obviously been hard on the drink...
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Belle
JL, you DO tell the best stories!
I know better than to have a mouthful of anything when I start reading a post of yours.
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J0nny Ling0
Thanks Belle, and, I truly hope that your love life now is a joy and a pleasure to you. Best wishes!
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bowtwi
Oh man, just when I think I won't be surprised by what twi did to their brethren something like this comes along. Those miserable somebodys!
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