Praying for you and your situation. If you can, start documenting his actions in writing for your own protection. Is he in a supervisory position over you?
Those are the one's that make your chest tight, your cheecks, burn, and very nasty thoughts to run through your head (like flattening his tires.) However, since people like us are above that sort of thing, all you can do is kill them with kindness, and if that doesn't work (with certain machismo types it never will), grit your teeth and never let him see that he gets to you. It's a tough spot, I know.
Keep meticulous notes on a calendar. If you end up having to speak to the HR department or use legal means, this history will become critical to show a pattern of maliciousness, hostility, and maybe harrassment.
My brother faced this same situation and his documentation worked in his favor. It showed malice aforethought along with how often and how varied the hostility occurred.
The person in question was moved with the express notice that if this situation came up again, they'd be let go. And...they too were within the definitions of "politically protected."
Don't forget that things have a way of balancing themselves out.
(That which goes around comes around.)
One of my favorites is Abigail and Nabal -- Abigail didn't need to dirty herself with fighting. And she got a righteous reward for her diligent Godliness. (I Samuel 25)
I have a supervisor [one of two, and not the Director of the department] like this. I pray for his deliverance, and have for the last five years tried always to keep the flow of communication flowing, going along with his [often unfair] opinions [he is very controlling].
A while ago I read something about dealing with difficult people at work, and the advice was just distance yourself as much as possible.
That's what I have been doing -- keeping as much distance as possible between him and me -- and it has been so very refreshing.
Since his [this supervisor's] natural reaction is to do things that hurt me [he's a misogynist], there just is no friendly encounter. And keeping my distance as much as possible has been really refreshing -- I have been trying to work with / bless, etc. him [this supervisor] for five years now, and the big result is that it given him access to bring me to tears.
The last week has been a big improvement -- just keeping as much distance as possible from him, and letting his life run its course.
Had a temp one day in our office like that. He was a ballsey flaming you know what. Anyway one day he just pushed me over the edge. When he walked (swayed) past me I slammed my fist on my desk and told God to get him the F out of here.
When he came back from lunch, he went upstairs and was fired. Way to go God. Don't put up with the poop!
I saw Del Duncan operate like that -- Just put his foot down against the devil.
It was a non-ministry produced wedding, and the guys didn't really know how to get it together -- back in 70s, we were all stupid and in love, thinking love was going to get us through -- anyway all of a sudden things just came together. Del and the Lord did it.
(I haven't had success at bringing the judgement of God into the place. What works for me is a quieter, funnier way. But I really love seeing the judgement thing done. Awesome. Literally.)
"Father, there are these certain types of people that I don't really like at all. You've got places in Your Holy Book that says these people are worthy of being french fried.
Father, I know You sent me to die for ALL, but, Father, just this once, since the person asking is such a great BELIEVER, could Ya, would Ya PLEASE french fry Raul and that guy that 'swayed' past another terrific BELIEVER? I'd be forever in Your debt, Father. Thank you very much! I claim this in the name of Myself. Amen"
Yeppers...good ol' Gawd LOVES a great gossip session...
Rejoice probably gave you the best advice. If you have adequate documentation most states will not pursue a race or ethnicity issue. You should also make sure that you a) first take the documentation to yor HR. If nothing is done, most states have agencies that will do an indepdendant investigation. At our company when we make a new hire we tell them this loud and clear.
VERY RIGHT ON about the documentation. Nothing happens in the real working world without that.
The human resource idea is correct, in that you docoment times, dates, events...and you start a file with human resourses.
No one who isnt mentally ill...lol...wishes true harm on anyone else, so, it will not help to be angry or upset...but in the professional setting you document your butt off. Once you have an adequate paper trail, with repeated documentation of your going to human resources, you will build your own case.
It also will help to know the laws of your state...if it is a right to work state or not, but in the end, the fact that you have a very accurate paper trail will highly be in your favor.
No one truly enjoys doing this, but if the work in your place of business is not being done, you have to be able to seperate yourself from the emotional side of it and just focus on the facts. Some people are much better at this than others, and it may not be in your personality to do this, but I recommend that you do. If other people have simular dealings, they should also. Than it doesnt become he said, she said and usually if OTHER people see it also, you have a multitude of counselors, so to speak. If other people DONT see what you do, re-evaluate your own perceptions and pray in that vein about it all.
they hired a guy from another country who apparently thinks he is in the USA to run the world HIS way.
Is it significant that he is from another country? I mean, does he point out that the way things were done in his previous country are THE way to do things and that American ways are inferior?
HE is lying, stealing, coming in when he wants is usually over an HOUR late from lunch
How does this affect you? Other than thenatural revulsion that comes from working with someone like this.
and has begun to lie about me.
What kind of lies? Are the lies believed?
The Docs will not fire him as they fear a lawsuit minority thing.
And well they should, if they have no evidence of wrongdoing. If they have proof that he is stealing, he can be fired, no matter what his race, gender, etc. as far as coming in late, does anyone else get away with the same thing? Even five minutes late?
Edited by Oakspear
[quote as far as coming in late, does anyone else get away with the same thing? Even five minutes late?
In most states a salaried employee is considered "exempt" The abbreviated version is that for most exempt positions you don't get paid for overtime - but if you are not there 40 hrs or at 0800 or whatever and are still getting your job done you cannot be penalizsed. This one is a sticky issue; if you are not his supervisor or don't have solid evidence that he is not getting the job done you will not make a lot of headway with this one.
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
what a mess
praying for you
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topoftheworld
Praying for you and your situation. If you can, start documenting his actions in writing for your own protection. Is he in a supervisory position over you?
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Dot Matrix
He is not over me, just real bossy. His first day he parked boxing me in, I said "Good morning, can you move your car you have boxed me in."
He said, "You can get out and I am not moving it."
He has been like that since.
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topoftheworld
Those are the one's that make your chest tight, your cheecks, burn, and very nasty thoughts to run through your head (like flattening his tires.) However, since people like us are above that sort of thing, all you can do is kill them with kindness, and if that doesn't work (with certain machismo types it never will), grit your teeth and never let him see that he gets to you. It's a tough spot, I know.
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Rejoice
Keep meticulous notes on a calendar. If you end up having to speak to the HR department or use legal means, this history will become critical to show a pattern of maliciousness, hostility, and maybe harrassment.
My brother faced this same situation and his documentation worked in his favor. It showed malice aforethought along with how often and how varied the hostility occurred.
The person in question was moved with the express notice that if this situation came up again, they'd be let go. And...they too were within the definitions of "politically protected."
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GeorgeStGeorge
It wouldn't hurt to have someone else witness the behavior, too.
Praying for you...
George
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
who says i am above deflating tires?
my prayers continue
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Kit Sober
Don't forget that things have a way of balancing themselves out.
(That which goes around comes around.)
One of my favorites is Abigail and Nabal -- Abigail didn't need to dirty herself with fighting. And she got a righteous reward for her diligent Godliness. (I Samuel 25)
People like this just eat themselves up.
Praying for a resolution from heaven,
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CM
pfft call the police on something that you can
that will wake his foot up
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Kit Sober
Praying for his deliverance.
I have a supervisor [one of two, and not the Director of the department] like this. I pray for his deliverance, and have for the last five years tried always to keep the flow of communication flowing, going along with his [often unfair] opinions [he is very controlling].
A while ago I read something about dealing with difficult people at work, and the advice was just distance yourself as much as possible.
That's what I have been doing -- keeping as much distance as possible between him and me -- and it has been so very refreshing.
Since his [this supervisor's] natural reaction is to do things that hurt me [he's a misogynist], there just is no friendly encounter. And keeping my distance as much as possible has been really refreshing -- I have been trying to work with / bless, etc. him [this supervisor] for five years now, and the big result is that it given him access to bring me to tears.
The last week has been a big improvement -- just keeping as much distance as possible from him, and letting his life run its course.
Praying with you and for you,
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Gillian Rules
Had a temp one day in our office like that. He was a ballsey flaming you know what. Anyway one day he just pushed me over the edge. When he walked (swayed) past me I slammed my fist on my desk and told God to get him the F out of here.
When he came back from lunch, he went upstairs and was fired. Way to go God. Don't put up with the poop!
Edited by Gillian RulesLink to comment
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Kit Sober
I saw Del Duncan operate like that -- Just put his foot down against the devil.
It was a non-ministry produced wedding, and the guys didn't really know how to get it together -- back in 70s, we were all stupid and in love, thinking love was going to get us through -- anyway all of a sudden things just came together. Del and the Lord did it.
(I haven't had success at bringing the judgement of God into the place. What works for me is a quieter, funnier way. But I really love seeing the judgement thing done. Awesome. Literally.)
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Oakspear
So what did the guy do? Other than be gay?
Maybe I should try that fist-slamming-on-the-desk thing to get rid of intolerant, bigoted, a-holes who demand that their god fire people at my job.
Worth a shot
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GarthP2000
Oak,
Good one, guy! Great comeback!
Gotta have that ((cough)) 'godly' kind of discrimination, donchaknow.
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allan w.
Hey Oaks..God is in the business of FIREING a**holes. Theres going to be a big 'fry-up' at the end !!
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Oakspear
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vickles
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CoolWaters
I can hear Jesus now...
"Father, there are these certain types of people that I don't really like at all. You've got places in Your Holy Book that says these people are worthy of being french fried.
Father, I know You sent me to die for ALL, but, Father, just this once, since the person asking is such a great BELIEVER, could Ya, would Ya PLEASE french fry Raul and that guy that 'swayed' past another terrific BELIEVER? I'd be forever in Your debt, Father. Thank you very much! I claim this in the name of Myself. Amen"
Yeppers...good ol' Gawd LOVES a great gossip session...
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GarthP2000
Now can anyone here imagine this guy writing _Christian_ greeting cards for Hallmark?
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RumRunner
Rejoice probably gave you the best advice. If you have adequate documentation most states will not pursue a race or ethnicity issue. You should also make sure that you a) first take the documentation to yor HR. If nothing is done, most states have agencies that will do an indepdendant investigation. At our company when we make a new hire we tell them this loud and clear.
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prayingfordaylight
VERY RIGHT ON about the documentation. Nothing happens in the real working world without that.
The human resource idea is correct, in that you docoment times, dates, events...and you start a file with human resourses.
No one who isnt mentally ill...lol...wishes true harm on anyone else, so, it will not help to be angry or upset...but in the professional setting you document your butt off. Once you have an adequate paper trail, with repeated documentation of your going to human resources, you will build your own case.
It also will help to know the laws of your state...if it is a right to work state or not, but in the end, the fact that you have a very accurate paper trail will highly be in your favor.
No one truly enjoys doing this, but if the work in your place of business is not being done, you have to be able to seperate yourself from the emotional side of it and just focus on the facts. Some people are much better at this than others, and it may not be in your personality to do this, but I recommend that you do. If other people have simular dealings, they should also. Than it doesnt become he said, she said and usually if OTHER people see it also, you have a multitude of counselors, so to speak. If other people DONT see what you do, re-evaluate your own perceptions and pray in that vein about it all.
I wish you well....
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Oakspear
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CoolWaters
Oak...you oughta run the HR depts of the world, man! :D
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RumRunner
[quote as far as coming in late, does anyone else get away with the same thing? Even five minutes late?
In most states a salaried employee is considered "exempt" The abbreviated version is that for most exempt positions you don't get paid for overtime - but if you are not there 40 hrs or at 0800 or whatever and are still getting your job done you cannot be penalizsed. This one is a sticky issue; if you are not his supervisor or don't have solid evidence that he is not getting the job done you will not make a lot of headway with this one.
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