The TB Enterprises' Universal User Manual Kit

[T-Bone]

The TB Enterprises Universal User Manual Kit

Thank you for purchasing the TB Enterprises' Universal User Manual Kit. We at TB Enterprises are absolutely sure you will be able to tailor this TB Enterprises' Universal User Manual Kit [hereafter referred to as TBUUMK] to fit every one of your technical needs. No matter what type of equipment or device [hereafter referred to as WHATEVER] TBUUMK will get you out of the soup and you will be using WHATEVER like a pro! How often does this happen to you? You've lost the user manual to a very complicated piece of equipment. Or, as you're reading through a manual provided by the manufacturer you think, "This book is useless – I could write a better one myself?" On the other hand, maybe you've even built WHATEVER yourself and so the responsibility to draft a user manual falls squarely on your shoulders. Now is your chance to do it right with our easy format!

We at TB Enterprises believe in the patience, resourcefulness, and creativity of the average person – in fact, we designed this manual to challenge people to grow in these areas. However, we all know everyone needs a little help once in awhile – so there will be a phone number below for Tech Support available 24 hours a day, putting you in touch with someone very familiar with WHATEVER. Are you ready to begin?

Step 1: Familiarize yourself with WHATEVER. How do you think it's supposed to work? Try that. This is a good time to fill out the registration portion of this manual contained in Step 2, below. To register your TBUUMK all you need do is write in your ten digit phone number next to Step 2. After entering your phone number in Step 2, proceed to Step 3.

Step 2:

Step 3: If you are at Step 3 – then you have already gotten familiar with WHATEVER and tried a few things to get it to work and you have registered your copy of TBUUMK by entering your phone number in Step 2. If WHATEVER is now working properly then you are finished with Step 3 – go immediately to Step 6.

Step 4: If WHATEVER is still in the "Non-Functioning Mode" [industry terminology], try again but do one/some/all thing(s) a little differently. If WHATEVER remains in the "Non-Functioning Mode," proceed to Step 5. If WHATEVER is now working properly you may skip Step 5 and go directly to Step 6.

Step 5: Take WHATEVER back to where you got it. If you built WHATEVER yourself, try disassembling it and putting it back together a little/a lot differently; then, return to Step 1. If still have no luck in getting it to work – feel free to call our 24 hour Tech Support Help Line [listed in Step 2]. Don't be embarrassed to call – lot's of people do – you may even get a busy signal depending on the volume of calls we're experiencing at the time. Remember – be patient, resourceful, and creative.

Step 6: Now that you have successfully operated WHATEVER, you need to document everything you did to get it to work. We recommend that you avoid any technical jargon, but this is your own personal TBUUMK – do whatever [not to be confused with WHATEVER] you want.

TB Enterprises return policy: TB Enterprises will not refund, replace or in any way accept a user manual kit that has the appearance of being used, has been viewed or referred to in casual conversation, appeared in a vision, daydream or nightmare, is defaced, grease smudged, shows evidence of any type of cleaning agents, Liquid Paper, torn, crumpled, contains deletions or additions of pages or content, lost any of its atomic weight, has even a single mark on it, photo-copied, faxed, or virtually reproduced; defacing can include doodling, notes, part numbers, telephone numbers, expletives, stick figures, mathematical formulas, conversion tables, equations from any of the internationally recognized sciences, references to other user manuals [which would include earlier versions of TBUUMK], as well as [please write your entry here of what that might be]:

Edited March 19, 2006 by T-Bone

[GeorgeStGeorge]

I found these two snippets to be hilarious:

"To register your TBUUMK all you need do is write in your ten digit phone number next to Step 2."

"If still have no luck in getting it to work – feel free to call our 24 hour Tech Support Help Line [listed in Step 2]. Don't be embarrassed to call – lot's of people do – you may even get a busy signal"

George :lol: