I wasn't going to post on yer thread 'cause I'm no parent, but while I was walking I couldn't help laughing while thinking about saying those words to my Daddy.
I can just picture it now...
Belle: Daddy, I'm still out with my friends.
Daddy: It's late and you need to come home soon.
Belle: No, Daddy. I'll call you in the mornin'.
Daddy:
***********
Belle: Daddy, I'm at Susie's and I'm not coming home. I'll call you tomorrow.
Daddy: Since when do you tell me what you're doing? That's not gonna fly under my roof, young lady! You'll get your butt home and you'll get your butt home NOW!!
***********
Course my brain is in the gutter on these....but that's only cause I know what kind of teenager I was. ;) I can't think of a situation where it would have been okay for me to say that to my Daddy. Doesn't mean that there isn't one. The real parents on here will be able to really help. I was just sharing the little chuckles I got thinking about your question. ^_^
Assuming for the moment that you're not an abusive drunk, and that the child is just trying to protect him/herself, I'd say he/she needs some serious attitude adjusting.
In any case, I would speak the adult where my kid is ( I'm assuming this is a friend's house and not an ex's house)
My kids know that I have a rule about them staying over a friend's house - the adults have to talk first. That keeps the kids from pressuring the parents ( ie Sadie's mom said it was ok - meanwhile Sadie is telling her mom Emma's mom said it would be fine with her.)
Even if this kid is a teenager I'd get in touvh with the adult in charge to make sure that everything was all right. When I finally do see kiddo again(not just a phone call) I would have a talk and make sure that some new rules were in place and clearly understood.
This is all assuming that the child has just tried and end run around your authority. Now if the child is at a friend's house and you knew that would be part of the plan, well then maybe he/she just doesn't want to spend what is considered "precious play time" saying, "Good night." In that case I would just let the whole thing go for a while and the next time an overnight was planned tell the child that the "good night" phone call was for you as well as for him/her.
I know your boy, I know how frustrating that it must be for you that he has ignored your instructions ... There has got to be some anger on your part that he is flouting your authority while under your roof and still your responsibility.
I have no answeres, as I am dealing with teenagers myself.
I know how dissapointed that I am when they say *no* in spite of all of the love and nurture that we have poured into these guys.
It seems like they ought to have more respect for the parent that put their lives and finances on hold for the last 17 years in order to raise their ungratefull bu tts....sigh
There aren`t any easy answeres friend ... I only understand that all teens seem to need to rebell as part of the growing up process.
I just try my best to keep guiding and protecting in spite of their best efforts to get away.
My instructions are, if you leave the state, call me and let me know. I'd also appreciate a call when you are starting back. Other than that, stay in touch occasionally, text me, e-mail me, call me, lets be friends. Let me know what's going on in your life. I will do the same.
Heee, my younger (21yo) called Friday about 10pm and said "yo pops, we are taking off to Memphis for a concert now, back Sunday, can I leave my dog with you?" I figured that was a lot better than coming home and finding a dog but no kid! On his way back home, he text messaged me, "Dad, will pick up dog wenevr, somewhere in Tx, but can't see the road for the smoke and flames around us." (end of message, and cell tuirned off to conserve battery- aaaarghh)
I don't know your kid's age, but isn't he away at school? When mine were that age, I found a quick e-mail to them asking what's up, or better yet, telling them what was up with their mom and I, got pretty good communication back from them. If I started a conversation, they responded with information, if I just said hello, they replied with one word, "hellotoo"
At least they don't ask for money.
"No" is not always a bad word coming from a young adult or older teen. It means you raised them to have confidence in who they are, and their relationship with you. From a youngun, it may have a different meaning. I agree with Shellon, we need more info.
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Shellon
No daddy I'll call you in the mornin from where? Why is he where he is/isn't? Why does he need to call you?
I've been a mom for 24 years and if you know my eldest, you know that we've taken on pretty much everything.
But your question doesn't provide much information. Can you elaborate?
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Belle
Littlehawk,
I wasn't going to post on yer thread 'cause I'm no parent, but while I was walking I couldn't help laughing while thinking about saying those words to my Daddy.
I can just picture it now...
Belle: Daddy, I'm still out with my friends.
Daddy: It's late and you need to come home soon.
Belle: No, Daddy. I'll call you in the mornin'.
Daddy:
***********
Belle: Daddy, I'm at Susie's and I'm not coming home. I'll call you tomorrow.
Daddy:
Since when do you tell me what you're doing? That's not gonna fly under my roof, young lady! You'll get your butt home and you'll get your butt home NOW!!
***********
Course my brain is in the gutter on these....but that's only cause I know what kind of teenager I was. ;) I can't think of a situation where it would have been okay for me to say that to my Daddy. Doesn't mean that there isn't one. The real parents on here will be able to really help. I was just sharing the little chuckles I got thinking about your question. ^_^
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GeorgeStGeorge
Assuming for the moment that you're not an abusive drunk, and that the child is just trying to protect him/herself, I'd say he/she needs some serious attitude adjusting.
George
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doojable
How old is the kid? and where is the kid?
In any case, I would speak the adult where my kid is ( I'm assuming this is a friend's house and not an ex's house)
My kids know that I have a rule about them staying over a friend's house - the adults have to talk first. That keeps the kids from pressuring the parents ( ie Sadie's mom said it was ok - meanwhile Sadie is telling her mom Emma's mom said it would be fine with her.)
Even if this kid is a teenager I'd get in touvh with the adult in charge to make sure that everything was all right. When I finally do see kiddo again(not just a phone call) I would have a talk and make sure that some new rules were in place and clearly understood.
This is all assuming that the child has just tried and end run around your authority. Now if the child is at a friend's house and you knew that would be part of the plan, well then maybe he/she just doesn't want to spend what is considered "precious play time" saying, "Good night." In that case I would just let the whole thing go for a while and the next time an overnight was planned tell the child that the "good night" phone call was for you as well as for him/her.
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rascal
Whew Hawk, That is a tough one...
I know your boy, I know how frustrating that it must be for you that he has ignored your instructions ... There has got to be some anger on your part that he is flouting your authority while under your roof and still your responsibility.
I have no answeres, as I am dealing with teenagers myself.
I know how dissapointed that I am when they say *no* in spite of all of the love and nurture that we have poured into these guys.
It seems like they ought to have more respect for the parent that put their lives and finances on hold for the last 17 years in order to raise their ungratefull bu tts....sigh
There aren`t any easy answeres friend ... I only understand that all teens seem to need to rebell as part of the growing up process.
I just try my best to keep guiding and protecting in spite of their best efforts to get away.
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HAPe4me
My instructions are, if you leave the state, call me and let me know. I'd also appreciate a call when you are starting back. Other than that, stay in touch occasionally, text me, e-mail me, call me, lets be friends. Let me know what's going on in your life. I will do the same.
Heee, my younger (21yo) called Friday about 10pm and said "yo pops, we are taking off to Memphis for a concert now, back Sunday, can I leave my dog with you?" I figured that was a lot better than coming home and finding a dog but no kid! On his way back home, he text messaged me, "Dad, will pick up dog wenevr, somewhere in Tx, but can't see the road for the smoke and flames around us." (end of message, and cell tuirned off to conserve battery- aaaarghh)
I don't know your kid's age, but isn't he away at school? When mine were that age, I found a quick e-mail to them asking what's up, or better yet, telling them what was up with their mom and I, got pretty good communication back from them. If I started a conversation, they responded with information, if I just said hello, they replied with one word, "hellotoo"
At least they don't ask for money.
"No" is not always a bad word coming from a young adult or older teen. It means you raised them to have confidence in who they are, and their relationship with you. From a youngun, it may have a different meaning. I agree with Shellon, we need more info.
~HAP
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excathedra
well did he call in the morning, daddy ?
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