Funny Things Kids Say

[Suda]

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens."

"How did you know?" his mother asked.

"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three-year-old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed that the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."

He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. They're the only feet I got!"

On the first day of school, about midmorning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the

bathroom, hold up two fingers."

A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked.

"The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, five, and Ryan, three. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment andthen said, "Did God throw him back down?"

After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."

"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"

"Because my daddy says you're the poorest preacher we've ever had."

[gc]

The stories are great! Thanks for the laughs, ya'll had me laughing and crying. And I needed it! :lol:

gc

Edited April 30, 2006 by gc

[Ca_dreaming]

Kids are the best.I love their stories. I work at a school...kindergartners only,plus pre-K.....any way one girl daily when she goes thru the lunch line calls me MEATBALL HEAD.(she is special) so let her and told her teacher so........She will always be my SPAGHETTI NOODLE..........I wonder if she will remember that when she is much older....time will tell. :)

[Abigail]

True story

One day both the boys were in the basement, they were supposed to be cleaning up their toys. I was in the kitchen cleaning also. Apparently Aaron had no idea that I could hear them (one of the few benefits to a tiny house).

So I overhear Aaron telling Jacob that he has to go to the bathroom. He says, "I'll be right back, you don't have to clean anything up while I'm gone, cause it won't be fair if you have to clean without me."

Then he comes upstairs and says, "Mom, Jacob's not helping clean up"

hahaha - the little stinker

[ChasUFarley]

Just a quick one about how kids try to express themselves with a limited vocabulary...

Kristopher was sitting at the kitchen bar last week, eating his breakfast.

"Mommee! My legs feel funny!" he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "How do they feel?"

(He thought and chewed for a moment...)

"They feel sparkle-ly," he said.

I knew exactly what he was saying - they were asleep - his made-up word 'sparkle-ly' fit perfectly!