twi and the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition.

[WordWolf]

Fans of Star Trek know about the imaginary Star Trek race called

"the Ferengi."

Physically, they're shorter and slimmer than humans, and have

big ears (and thus, great hearing)-at least the males do.

They have been characterized as similar to "Yankee traders"

whose motto is "let the buyer beware."

They all want to make money, lots of money.

The Ferengi currency is Latinum (gold-pressed), which comes in

slips, strips and bars. (They seem not to be big believers in

electronic funds transactions.)

People who expect to deal with Ferengi make it a point to study

the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. Although the fans have

never seen all of them (the writers never wrote a complete list),

we have seen some repeated a few times.

So, there is a partial list out there.

I've read these lists.

Some of these rules remind me of some of the practices in

effect at different eras in twi-including now.

Perhaps they'll sound familiar to you.

I'll post the relevant ones in blocks.

Feel free to discuss them.

:)

==============

[WordWolf]

Ferengi Rules of Acquisition:

==================

Rule 001: "Once you have their money, never give it back."

Rule 002: "The best deal is the one that brings the most profit."

Rule 003: "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to."

Rule 006: "Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity."

Rule 008: "Small print leads to large risk."

Rule 009: "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit."

Rule 012: "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."

Rule 013: "Anything worth doing is worth doing twice."

Rule 016: "A deal is a deal. (Until a better one comes along.)"

Rule 019: "Satisfaction is not guaranteed."

Rule 021: "Never place friendship before profit."

Rule 022: "A wise man can hear profit in the wind."

Rule 024: "Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it."

Rule 025: "There's always a way out."

Rule 026: "As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer."

Rule 029: "What's in it for me?"

Rule 033: "It never hurts to suck up to the boss."

Rule 041: "Profit is its own reward."

Rule 047: "Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own."

Rule 048: "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

Rule 050: "Gratitude can bring on generosity."

Ok, that's from the first 50.

[ChasUFarley]

As a Trekkie, I'm delighted to see this thread - thank you!

Okay, here's TWI's rendition of some of the rules:

Rule 001: "Once you have their money, never give it back."

TWI: "And don't let them know what you've REALLY done with it."

Rule 002: "The best deal is the one that brings the most profit."

TWI: "The more you charge for a class, the more 'spiritual' it will seem."

Rule 003: "Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to."

TWI: "And if you do, FIRE the guy who made the purchasing decision!"

Rule 006: "Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity."

TWI: "AMEN!"

Rule 008: "Small print leads to large risk."

TWI: "You'll find out on a need-to-know basis!"

Rule 009: "Opportunity plus instinct equals profit."

TWI: "We've revised the Foundational Class - AGAIN - how EXCITING!"

Rule 012: "Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."

TWI: "AMEN!"

Rule 013: "Anything worth doing is worth doing twice."

TWI: "Or more! See Rule 009 for details!"

Rule 019: "Satisfaction is not guaranteed."

TWI: "If you complain, you're possessed. Period."

Rule 021: "Never place friendship before profit."

TWI: "AMEN!"

Rule 022: "A wise man can hear profit in the wind."

TWI: "Or it could be the beans from lunch... remember to ABUNDANTLY SHARE!"

Rule 024: "Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it."

TWI: "We're moving to a better section of town next weekend - you should see the new Limb Home!"

Rule 025: "There's always a way out."

TWI: "Yes, and it's called Marked and Avoid!"

Rule 029: "What's in it for me?"

TWI: "Stop thinking about yourself but how you can BLESS the HOUSEHOLD!"

Rule 033: "It never hurts to suck up to the boss."

TWI: "You too can be a briefcase toting Hitler!"

Rule 041: "Profit is its own reward."

TWI: "The more you give us, the more rewards you'll have in heaven!"

Rule 047: "Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own."

TWI: "Unless it's the MOG - you can't dress better than the MOG, or you'll make him look bad!"

Rule 048: "The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.

TWI: "AMEN!"

Rule 050: "Gratitude can bring on generosity."

TWI: "So, send in those Thank You cards and gifts after each time you've sat through the class!"

[Galen]

LOL

[TheHighWay]

This is great!

I pictured Armin Shimerman standing on the stage of the WOW Auditorium, reading this list, eyes glinting, smiling his little half-Quark-smile.

Rule 006: "Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity."

Amen and Amen.

(or should I say Armin and Armin)

[templelady]

Rule 016: "A deal is a deal. (Until a better one comes along.)"

Hence the new revise dclasses, the current word etc, change the calss from PFAL to WOPA and that old deal for POFAL grads is null and void

[WordWolf]

Ok, Continuing the rules.

(I also went with a better-documented list, so these are all

"official", being directly from Paramount sources, generally tv episodes.)

========

Rule 052. "Never ask when you can take."

Rule 059. "Free advice is seldom cheap."

Rule 060. "Keep your lies consistent."

Rule 062. "The riskier the road, the greater the profit."

Rule 074. "Knowledge equals profit."

Rule 075. "Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latiunum."

Rule 082. "The flimsier the product, the higher the price."

Rule 097. "Enough...is never enough."

Rule 098. "Every man has his price."

Rule 099. "Trust is the biggest liability of all."

Rule 106. "There is no honor in poverty."

Rule 109. "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack."

Rule 111. "Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them."

Rule 121. "Everything is for sale, even friendship."

Rule 144. "There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up

in your pocket."

========

BTW,

I have a correction on 2 Rules,

which actually make them MORE relevant.

Rule 012 is

"Anything worth selling is worth selling twice."

Rule 013 is

"Anything worth doing is worth doing for money."

Considering the twi Rules would include

"Rule 14: Anything worth selling twice is worth selling three times",

twi can be considered greedier than Ferengi.

[WordWolf]

Continuing posting of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition...

==========

Rule 162. "Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit."

Rule 177. "Know your enemies...but do business with them always."

Rule 181. "Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit."

Rule 189. "Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum."

Rule 190. "Hear all, trust nothing."

Rule 202. "The justification for profit is profit."

Rule 208. "Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the

question is the answer."

Rule 211. "Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success.

Don't hesitate to step on them."

Rule 217. "You can't free a fish from water."

[themex]

WW:

As every thing you post very interesting.

But I identify myself more with Worf ore the Borg.

Also think more in a similitude between The Matrix and TWI.

[templelady]

Rule 074. "Knowledge equals profit."

PT Barnum

"There's a sucker born every minute"

[WordWolf]

But I identify myself more with Worf or the Borg.

I've admired the directness of the Klingons

(Next Generation and DS9 Klingons)

for years.

Technically, they don't have a word for "hello."

They have "nuqneH", which means "what do you want?"

Now THAT's directness!

:)

Also think more in a similitude between The Matrix and TWI.

I don't have the idea yet for that thread. One of these days I will.

[WordWolf]

Let's see, finishing out the Ferengi Rules:

Rule 239. "Never be afraid to mislabel a product."

Rule 242. "More is good. All is better."

Rule 261. "A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience."

Rule 263. "Never let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum."

Rule 266. "When in doubt, lie."

Rule 284. "Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi."

Rule 285. "No good deed ever goes unpunished."

The following have never been officially added to the

Rules of Acquisition, but still came from Ferengi.

"After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them.

That way, it's easier to exploit them next time."

"When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits...

kill the messenger."

[WordWolf]

How does twi interpret these Rules?

Here's a few guesses.

========

Rule 052. "Never ask when you can take."

TWI: "Never ask for 10% when you can demand 15%."

Rule 059. "Free advice is seldom cheap."

TWI: "Free advice is mandatory."

Rule 060. "Keep your lies consistent."

TWI: No need to adjust this rule-correct as stated.

Rule 062. "The riskier the road, the greater the profit."

Rule 074. "Knowledge equals profit."

Rule 075. "Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latiunum."

Rule 082. "The flimsier the product, the higher the price."

TWI: "Always charge more when redoing the Foundational class."

Rule 097. "Enough...is never enough."

TWI: "If the people accept sending in 15%, push for 20%."

Rule 098. "Every man has his price."

TWI: "Make the peons pay for every man's price."

Rule 099. "Trust is the biggest liability of all."

TWI: No need to change-correct as stated.

Rule 106. "There is no honor in poverty."

Rule 109. "Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack."

TWI: "Financial comfort is good, financial wealth is better!"

Rule 111. "Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them."

Rule 121. "Everything is for sale, even friendship."

TWI: "Everyone's disposable, eventually."

Rule 144. "There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up

in your pocket."

TWI: "Give us your money-it's the most noble way to spend it!"

[WordWolf]

I thought revisiting this for a moment might be fun.

[Bolshevik]

Also think more in a similitude between The Matrix and TWI.

We used to repeat this over and over to each other during Way Disciple. "I shoulda took the red pill" (or was it the blue? I dunno)