When TWI has any say over someone's financial well-being YOUR CONCERNS ARE MOST DEFINITELY VALID. TWI's interest is the financial well-being of TWI, not your sister. Your parents should do everything in their power to ensure that their money is received according to their wishes. If that means putting it in trust for the nephew and niece, then put it in trust.
When it comes to money, do not trust The Way International under any circumstances.
... Should they put my neice(s)' and nephew(s)' inheritance in some sort of trust that they have access to once they leave HQ? Should my parents put ALL the inheritance in such a fund? OR ARE MY CONCERNS UNFOUNDED?
But suppose they never leave twi?
Suppose you get to have YOUR part, but your sister doesn't get to have HER part?
Hatred of twi notwithstanding, that is not fair to your sister, is it?
Putting myself in your sisters shoes, I would want to be treated fairly.
That means that if your parents are distributing the money fairly and equally to their children, or try to, that your sister would have to get her piece of the pie just like you do, regardless of her chosen religion.
You think you may know what's best for your sister and her children?
How will she react when she finds out you are trying to influence your parents decision because of your dislike of twi?
I was on Staff from 1996 to 2001. If someone received an inheritance, they could go without divulging that information to twi and still collect what they always did for their wages. The smart ones do not tell all they know. ;) I knew several who had family that became deceased and never told what they got. One guy I worked with bought a boat and all kinds of things normal staffers were not able to buy. I doubt seriously this guy told of his inheritance. He couldnt' even be honest with the hours he was supposed to be working.
From what I understood at the 2002 Advanced Class Special, RFR mentioned that they paid staff "regular" salaries so they could pay rent. More people were allowed to live off grounds. I'm not sure what a "regular" salary is, but surely it is only enought to cover the "need basis" plus rent, electricity/gas, and food at home. It can't be that much extra.
When I was on staff, I lived from paycheck to paycheck. I also accumulated about $1,500 of credit card debyt trying to cover the lack of money. It was horrible. I felt like God was going to disown me for it. I lived in fear constantly.
If you have a close relationship with your sister, maybe you could talk to her about it. Hopefully she won't feel compelled to abundantly share on the amount she receives.
How do staffers save $$$ for the future? I don't know. I was never able to do it. When we had to take a 10% cut in pay, it was never returned (at least to me). My meeting with HR and Finance Directors told me that they could not give me my request. I think I requested less than $100 to help myself get back on track. I didn't want to be an exception or get reproved for not being able to live on what they gave me. I felt humiliated, but I told myself God would have to meet my need.
When they decided they would no longer pay 100% of our medical, eye, and dental, we never got an increase in our "need basis" to cover the 20% they decided not to pay.
They gave a retirement benefit to those who had been on staff for 7 or 8 years. However, nobody was given extra to be able to meet the need for their retirement. I think twi donated some to it, but it surely isn't what most employers do. TWI patted themselves on the back REAL BIG for this one....lordy.
TWI's interest is the financial well-being of TWI, not your sister...When it comes to money, do not trust The Way International under any circumstances.
Oldiesman statements:
Putting myself in your sisters shoes, I would want to be treated fairly... How will she react when she finds out you are trying to influence your parents decision because of your dislike of twi?
The question is, which choice do you wish to live with?
With one choice you get the satisfaction of knowing that TWI did not get it's filthy hands on your parents money. But your sister's heart will be deeply hurt, because an inheritance is a lot more than just money to an heir. It represents the final statement between parent and child. Its about the relationship.
Now your other choice may leave you bitter that TWI got its filthy hands on your parents money. But your sisters heart will not be so deeply hurt.
What relationship do you wish to have with your sister. Can you put a dollar value on that relationship.
I would recommend that your parents set up college funds for your niece and nephew, but don't put a restriction on it regarding their association with TWI. They should still leave the fair amount to your sister to do with as she pleases.
Your parents would be far happier knowing their offspring had a close loving relationship than if they knew that the inheiritance divided you and her.
Money is a shallow reason to risk your relationship with you sister. Should she ever leave TWI on her own, let that reunion be sweet, not tarnished by the inheritance you convinced your parents to withhold.
Another thing to consider....I don`t know how you feel about your bro in law.....but if their marriage is typical of so many in twi....Your sister really won`t have much input into the disposition of the money anyway.
All of those decisions are made by the Husband /head of household....and the wives abide by the decisions no matter how stupid, or contrary to her desires, in order to be considered virtuous, not rebellious...etc :(
A trust fund is a very good idea if it can be managed. If they ever leave twi....they will be pleased to have that money instead of having *%^#*ed it all away when they were under the influence of unsavory characters.
Look out... you make some very good points...however I would see it as no different than my wealthy Uncle who refuses to give any money to his drug addicted daughter....not because she isn`t loved or they want to deny her....
They will pay her rent directly to the land lord...will pay her grocery bills, directly to the store....etc.
She simply isn`t in her right mind, she will not use it to benefit herself....just invest in more self destructive behavior.. The money just enables her to indulge in her addictive behavior all the more so.
It infuriates her, no doubt....but it is necessary for her well being.
... Your parents would be far happier knowing their offspring had a close loving relationship than if they knew that the inheiritance divided you and her.
Money is a shallow reason to risk your relationship with you sister. Should she ever leave TWI on her own, let that reunion be sweet, not tarnished by the inheritance you convinced your parents to withhold.
Excellent points Lookout.
Phantommeister, another point that crossed my mind was application of the Golden Rule, in this situation.
Hi, again! Thanks for your input and insights. I'd love to hear more from others.
I do want everyone to understand that I am not trying to get my sister's money. I am not trying to get my parents to withhold money from her. I am actually trying to ensure that she receives her inheritance without any interference from TWI. My sister and I have merely a "polite" relationship since I left TWI with my own family. As for my brother-in-law, I seriously doubt that he will have any say-so over my sister's inheritance.
Also, someone sent me a direct reply that came up on my screen (did not appear in the post). The writer's dad was a bank officer and the writer had some great advice...but I don't know how to retrieve the message. If this person sees this message, please write me again. I'll print out your adice. It is appreciated.
to retrieve the message just go to the top right hand corner where it says "# new messages" (# being the number of new messages you have), click on it, this will take you to your private message area and then you can click on the message and see it alone on your screen...
and (I think) I know where you're coming from... but it's been my experience that unless you just 'resign' yourself to let them do as they wish and not think at all about what you think is best... it will just lead to further anxiety on your part...
You should have your parents read this thread and any others.
They should talk with your sister about it. I think parents should ALWAYS discuss their estate plans with the kids and make sure their intention is communicated - intention can be misunderstood when people die.
Then your parents should make their own decision - based not on what your sister says, but what they think. If they think she's too much under the control of the way or her husband to do what they want they'll have to act one way. If they don't think so, they may act another way.
If they decide to put it in trust they have a lot of options. The trust can say the money is not touchable until your sister does something (like buy a house or leave the way) or for her kids until they reach a certain age, or for college or whatever.
However, with a trust, there needs to be a trustee to administer it. That person will invest the funds according the rules of the trust and will determine if the rules have been met to dispurse the funds. Who should be the trustee? In my opinon NOT a family member. It will cause no end of grief between that person and the sister or her kids if they are in the way. The money is probably not worth that amount of family grief. If a bank or lawyer is the trustee, that is preferable - the rules will be stricktly enforced, but there will be a cost. Parents should ask around to see how much the cost is.
A great book on this topic is BEYOND THE GRAVE by Gerald Condon. It's full of short chapters you can jump around in.
You should have your parents read this thread and many others.
They should talk with your sister about it. I think parents should ALWAYS discuss their estate plans with the kids and make sure their intention is communicated - intention can be misunderstood when people die.
Then your parents should make their own decision - based not on what your sister says, but what they think. If they think she's too much under the control of the way or her husband to do what they want they'll have to act one way. If they don't think so, they may act another way.
If they decide to put it in trust they have a lot of options. The trust can say the money is not touchable until your sister does something (like buy a house or leave the way) or for her kids until they reach a certain age, or for college or whatever.
However, with a trust, there needs to be a trustee to administer it. That person will invest the funds according the rules of the trust and will determine if the rules have been met to dispurse the funds. Who should be the trustee? In my opinon NOT a family member. It will cause no end of grief between that person and the sister or her kids if they are in the way. The money is probably not worth that amount of family grief. If a bank or lawyer is the trustee, that is preferable - the rules will be stricktly enforced, but there will be a cost. Parents should ask around to see how much the cost is.
A great book on this topic is BEYOND THE GRAVE by Gerald Condon. It's full of short chapters you can jump around in.
This is what I've heard from many friends who are still on staff at hq and on the field.
They get paid normal salaries, so if you were, let's say an accountant in your regular job, you got paid close to your normal pay. Something like this ........ if you made $22.00 hr you might make $18-20 hr.
Also, you got medical insurance, some type of retirement funding options ( I saw my friends investment and was very jealous of how good it was) no more than 46hrs a week for everyone - mandatory!!!!!!!!
Yes, they have to pay rent, but it's a very small amount and I think that only came about because of new non profit law stuff ( and problaly because of the law suits from Craig) So, let's say you made $2,000. per TWO WEEK period for a married couple you would pay out maybe $100. per month depending on your room. That includes cleaning supplies, utilites, tiolet paper, basically everything but your personal items. That leaves how much left over per month??? My friends are saving so much money right now it's not even funny.
My friends have told me that they have never been asked about their private life - ever!!!!! Let alone $$$$$$
You all may want to hate twi and for good reasons, I just thought you'd want to know FACTS, based on the present, from someone who is still in.
That's a HUGE change from when I was there. I left in 2001.
But I seriously doubt anyone even even making anywhere near $18 per hour. I have a staff friend coming to visit me in a few months. I'll find out what they make.
I would be willing to put a large wager down that they don't make anymore than $10 or $12 an hour.
All this information continues to inform and intrigue me. I'd be very interested in finding out what WayferNot's "in" friend has to say about this. It's curious why DJS's friend was so open with his/her personal finances. I don't know who I'd be so open with....not that I have anything to hide, but -- anyway. And, just to make it clear, I'll reiterate: I did not raise this question of HQ Staffers' retirement out of any hatred for TWI. I truly am concerned for my sister's well-being. And (again I'll say), I'm not out to get her money. There is no way I'd want it or accept it. But I don't want my parents' money going to TWI when they intend it to go to my sister.
Thanks for your replies....looking for more. -- Phantommeister
And, just to make it clear, I'll reiterate: I did not raise this question of HQ Staffers' retirement out of any hatred for TWI. I truly am concerned for my sister's well-being.
And (again I'll say), I'm not out to get her money. There is no way I'd want it or accept it. But I don't want my parents' money going to TWI when they intend it to go to my sister.
Personally -- I would listen to those with past experience. (just my IMO). ;)
My friends are so open with me because they are like grandparents to my children. We have a very close relationship to where I can ask very personal questions. AND I HAVE!!!! I've heard many different stories about being on staff. Once they had been on staff for a few years, they asked us to be their guests for the weekend, I was very curious and asked a lot of detailed questions. They were very honest and shared a large amount of personal info. with me.
You are always welcome to ask me any questions - I'll tell you if I know, if I don't I have no problem saying so.
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oldiesman
I never heard of twi paying someone less because of inheritance money.
Your sister can simply sock it into an IRA or something and save it for her retirement.
I'd check that one out again to make sure...
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Raf
When TWI has any say over someone's financial well-being YOUR CONCERNS ARE MOST DEFINITELY VALID. TWI's interest is the financial well-being of TWI, not your sister. Your parents should do everything in their power to ensure that their money is received according to their wishes. If that means putting it in trust for the nephew and niece, then put it in trust.
When it comes to money, do not trust The Way International under any circumstances.
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rascal
Well understand THIS phantom...if our experience is anything to go by......
TWI WILL expect/require that your sister tithe 10 to 15 % of the gross right off the top......
TWI WILL pressure her to spend it in a way that they aprove of......
There IS no more worthey cause on the planet than the movement of God`s word.
Understand that your concerns and motives will be completely mischaracterized....as worldly ...greedy ...and evil :(
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oldiesman
But suppose they never leave twi?
Suppose you get to have YOUR part, but your sister doesn't get to have HER part?
Hatred of twi notwithstanding, that is not fair to your sister, is it?
Putting myself in your sisters shoes, I would want to be treated fairly.
That means that if your parents are distributing the money fairly and equally to their children, or try to, that your sister would have to get her piece of the pie just like you do, regardless of her chosen religion.
You think you may know what's best for your sister and her children?
How will she react when she finds out you are trying to influence your parents decision because of your dislike of twi?
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Nottawayfer
I was on Staff from 1996 to 2001. If someone received an inheritance, they could go without divulging that information to twi and still collect what they always did for their wages. The smart ones do not tell all they know. ;) I knew several who had family that became deceased and never told what they got. One guy I worked with bought a boat and all kinds of things normal staffers were not able to buy. I doubt seriously this guy told of his inheritance. He couldnt' even be honest with the hours he was supposed to be working.
From what I understood at the 2002 Advanced Class Special, RFR mentioned that they paid staff "regular" salaries so they could pay rent. More people were allowed to live off grounds. I'm not sure what a "regular" salary is, but surely it is only enought to cover the "need basis" plus rent, electricity/gas, and food at home. It can't be that much extra.
When I was on staff, I lived from paycheck to paycheck. I also accumulated about $1,500 of credit card debyt trying to cover the lack of money. It was horrible. I felt like God was going to disown me for it. I lived in fear constantly.
If you have a close relationship with your sister, maybe you could talk to her about it. Hopefully she won't feel compelled to abundantly share on the amount she receives.
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Nottawayfer
How do staffers save $$$ for the future? I don't know. I was never able to do it. When we had to take a 10% cut in pay, it was never returned (at least to me). My meeting with HR and Finance Directors told me that they could not give me my request. I think I requested less than $100 to help myself get back on track. I didn't want to be an exception or get reproved for not being able to live on what they gave me. I felt humiliated, but I told myself God would have to meet my need.
When they decided they would no longer pay 100% of our medical, eye, and dental, we never got an increase in our "need basis" to cover the 20% they decided not to pay.
They gave a retirement benefit to those who had been on staff for 7 or 8 years. However, nobody was given extra to be able to meet the need for their retirement. I think twi donated some to it, but it surely isn't what most employers do. TWI patted themselves on the back REAL BIG for this one....lordy.
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LooKout_n_c
phantommeister,
Raf and oldiesman are both right. :huh:
Raf's statements:
Oldiesman statements:The question is, which choice do you wish to live with?
With one choice you get the satisfaction of knowing that TWI did not get it's filthy hands on your parents money. But your sister's heart will be deeply hurt, because an inheritance is a lot more than just money to an heir. It represents the final statement between parent and child. Its about the relationship.
Now your other choice may leave you bitter that TWI got its filthy hands on your parents money. But your sisters heart will not be so deeply hurt.
What relationship do you wish to have with your sister. Can you put a dollar value on that relationship.
I would recommend that your parents set up college funds for your niece and nephew, but don't put a restriction on it regarding their association with TWI. They should still leave the fair amount to your sister to do with as she pleases.
Your parents would be far happier knowing their offspring had a close loving relationship than if they knew that the inheiritance divided you and her.
Money is a shallow reason to risk your relationship with you sister. Should she ever leave TWI on her own, let that reunion be sweet, not tarnished by the inheritance you convinced your parents to withhold.
LooKout
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rascal
Another thing to consider....I don`t know how you feel about your bro in law.....but if their marriage is typical of so many in twi....Your sister really won`t have much input into the disposition of the money anyway.
All of those decisions are made by the Husband /head of household....and the wives abide by the decisions no matter how stupid, or contrary to her desires, in order to be considered virtuous, not rebellious...etc :(
A trust fund is a very good idea if it can be managed. If they ever leave twi....they will be pleased to have that money instead of having *%^#*ed it all away when they were under the influence of unsavory characters.
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rascal
Look out... you make some very good points...however I would see it as no different than my wealthy Uncle who refuses to give any money to his drug addicted daughter....not because she isn`t loved or they want to deny her....
They will pay her rent directly to the land lord...will pay her grocery bills, directly to the store....etc.
She simply isn`t in her right mind, she will not use it to benefit herself....just invest in more self destructive behavior.. The money just enables her to indulge in her addictive behavior all the more so.
It infuriates her, no doubt....but it is necessary for her well being.
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oldiesman
Excellent points Lookout.
Phantommeister, another point that crossed my mind was application of the Golden Rule, in this situation.
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Tom Strange
I've been in this situation before and (alas) will be in it again at some point... I agree with both Raf and OM (looks around for lightning)...
Regardless of how "we" feel... it's not "our" concern... no matter how well intentioned...
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phantommeister
Hi, again! Thanks for your input and insights. I'd love to hear more from others.
I do want everyone to understand that I am not trying to get my sister's money. I am not trying to get my parents to withhold money from her. I am actually trying to ensure that she receives her inheritance without any interference from TWI. My sister and I have merely a "polite" relationship since I left TWI with my own family. As for my brother-in-law, I seriously doubt that he will have any say-so over my sister's inheritance.
Also, someone sent me a direct reply that came up on my screen (did not appear in the post). The writer's dad was a bank officer and the writer had some great advice...but I don't know how to retrieve the message. If this person sees this message, please write me again. I'll print out your adice. It is appreciated.
Thanks to all! Phantommeister
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Tom Strange
to retrieve the message just go to the top right hand corner where it says "# new messages" (# being the number of new messages you have), click on it, this will take you to your private message area and then you can click on the message and see it alone on your screen...
and (I think) I know where you're coming from... but it's been my experience that unless you just 'resign' yourself to let them do as they wish and not think at all about what you think is best... it will just lead to further anxiety on your part...
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My3Cents
You should have your parents read this thread and any others.
They should talk with your sister about it. I think parents should ALWAYS discuss their estate plans with the kids and make sure their intention is communicated - intention can be misunderstood when people die.
Then your parents should make their own decision - based not on what your sister says, but what they think. If they think she's too much under the control of the way or her husband to do what they want they'll have to act one way. If they don't think so, they may act another way.
If they decide to put it in trust they have a lot of options. The trust can say the money is not touchable until your sister does something (like buy a house or leave the way) or for her kids until they reach a certain age, or for college or whatever.
However, with a trust, there needs to be a trustee to administer it. That person will invest the funds according the rules of the trust and will determine if the rules have been met to dispurse the funds. Who should be the trustee? In my opinon NOT a family member. It will cause no end of grief between that person and the sister or her kids if they are in the way. The money is probably not worth that amount of family grief. If a bank or lawyer is the trustee, that is preferable - the rules will be stricktly enforced, but there will be a cost. Parents should ask around to see how much the cost is.
A great book on this topic is BEYOND THE GRAVE by Gerald Condon. It's full of short chapters you can jump around in.
You should have your parents read this thread and many others.
They should talk with your sister about it. I think parents should ALWAYS discuss their estate plans with the kids and make sure their intention is communicated - intention can be misunderstood when people die.
Then your parents should make their own decision - based not on what your sister says, but what they think. If they think she's too much under the control of the way or her husband to do what they want they'll have to act one way. If they don't think so, they may act another way.
If they decide to put it in trust they have a lot of options. The trust can say the money is not touchable until your sister does something (like buy a house or leave the way) or for her kids until they reach a certain age, or for college or whatever.
However, with a trust, there needs to be a trustee to administer it. That person will invest the funds according the rules of the trust and will determine if the rules have been met to dispurse the funds. Who should be the trustee? In my opinon NOT a family member. It will cause no end of grief between that person and the sister or her kids if they are in the way. The money is probably not worth that amount of family grief. If a bank or lawyer is the trustee, that is preferable - the rules will be stricktly enforced, but there will be a cost. Parents should ask around to see how much the cost is.
A great book on this topic is BEYOND THE GRAVE by Gerald Condon. It's full of short chapters you can jump around in.
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djs
This is what I've heard from many friends who are still on staff at hq and on the field.
They get paid normal salaries, so if you were, let's say an accountant in your regular job, you got paid close to your normal pay. Something like this ........ if you made $22.00 hr you might make $18-20 hr.
Also, you got medical insurance, some type of retirement funding options ( I saw my friends investment and was very jealous of how good it was) no more than 46hrs a week for everyone - mandatory!!!!!!!!
Yes, they have to pay rent, but it's a very small amount and I think that only came about because of new non profit law stuff ( and problaly because of the law suits from Craig) So, let's say you made $2,000. per TWO WEEK period for a married couple you would pay out maybe $100. per month depending on your room. That includes cleaning supplies, utilites, tiolet paper, basically everything but your personal items. That leaves how much left over per month??? My friends are saving so much money right now it's not even funny.
My friends have told me that they have never been asked about their private life - ever!!!!! Let alone $$$$$$
You all may want to hate twi and for good reasons, I just thought you'd want to know FACTS, based on the present, from someone who is still in.
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Nottawayfer
That's a HUGE change from when I was there. I left in 2001.
But I seriously doubt anyone even even making anywhere near $18 per hour. I have a staff friend coming to visit me in a few months. I'll find out what they make.
I would be willing to put a large wager down that they don't make anymore than $10 or $12 an hour.
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phantommeister
All this information continues to inform and intrigue me. I'd be very interested in finding out what WayferNot's "in" friend has to say about this. It's curious why DJS's friend was so open with his/her personal finances. I don't know who I'd be so open with....not that I have anything to hide, but -- anyway. And, just to make it clear, I'll reiterate: I did not raise this question of HQ Staffers' retirement out of any hatred for TWI. I truly am concerned for my sister's well-being. And (again I'll say), I'm not out to get her money. There is no way I'd want it or accept it. But I don't want my parents' money going to TWI when they intend it to go to my sister.
Thanks for your replies....looking for more. -- Phantommeister
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dmiller
Personally -- I would listen to those with past experience. (just my IMO). ;)
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djs
Dear pm,
My friends are so open with me because they are like grandparents to my children. We have a very close relationship to where I can ask very personal questions. AND I HAVE!!!! I've heard many different stories about being on staff. Once they had been on staff for a few years, they asked us to be their guests for the weekend, I was very curious and asked a lot of detailed questions. They were very honest and shared a large amount of personal info. with me.
You are always welcome to ask me any questions - I'll tell you if I know, if I don't I have no problem saying so.
djs
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