I think it's a matter of degrees; everybody gets mad and WHILE you're mad there's time to savour the moment...yessssssssss....being mad is GOOD.....ahhhhhhh......this is nirvanaaaautopiaaaaheavennnnnblisssssaaahhhhhhhhhhhyesssssssssssssss. Most people just get mad and let's be done with it. Others like the way it feels and start looking for excuses to be mad all the time. THAT'S when hate can come in and get comfortable.
Cool its an interesting question that you pose here, causes one to think of their own inner self. I did think and regardless of what I once would have answered off the top of my head I think differently now.
For me ...... I can get upset with a person ...... but I don't stay upset with just any one person, its not available because they have no bearing on my life in particular and I can easily let misunderstandings go.
I think being angry is unhealthy and I try not to go there but if I do get angry its impossible not to recognize and I do all I can to remain calm.
The only people who can really make me angry or mad are those closest to me ... because it is them I care for most, love dearly and know the most about. Because my family members lives are open to me, I know that sometimes I want to step in and make sure my grown children still do what I wish, but I have to remember they are grown. Well at least the law states that 2 out of 3 of them are LOL. The other is still home under parental control and will be for another 5 plus years Thank God.
Being mad and hate aren't the same thing. I don't really think it is in me to hate anyone, for that is not the desire of my heart at all. I think that Hate would simply take up to much energy in one and drain them into a state of nothingness if there is such a thing. I have gone through to much in my life to allow the world to reduce me to a state of nothingness.
I now pray for those who have hurt me and leave it to God and do my best to leave anger out of the equation .........
Sometimes, when I was younger, I would get so mad at my parents that I would tell them I hated them. :) I didn't really hate them, though - ok, well, maybe momentarily I really did. LOL! It was their fault, though. I fully deserved to go to the movies with that drug dealing, cigarette smoking, high school drop out!
We say things in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean sometimes, but you can't take it back once it's said. :( I don't think being mad equates hate. I think, too, it's possible to hate someone and not be mad at them. They are two separate emotions.
Maybe anger that isn't addressed and healthily resolved can lead to hate. Especially for someone who has been abused for a very long time.
Are you getting the thoughts and comments you expected? Is there a different direction you wanted this to take?
Mad? You mean ticked off, or slap the perp or freakin wring their necks or blow them away?
Then there is hate, which I don't think is a fluctuating state or emotion. Its deep, to the bone type thing. I can love someone and get mad at them, I can't love and hate the same person no matter how much Hollywood tries to sell the love/hate relationship.
But what I find I am doing more and more is just not caring. A person's track record shows they aren't worth the stress it takes or the higher blood pressure from getting mad. Hate someone and watch for them to get what they deserve, not caring you just don't care and aren't surprised when their karma, what they sowed; whatever you want to call it catches up with them.
I think my Dad was right when he use to tell me, maturity will replace all that anger someday.
Being mad and hate aren't the same thing. I don't really think it is in me to hate anyone, for that is not the desire of my heart at all. I think that Hate would simply take up to much energy in one and drain them into a state of nothingness if there is such a thing. I have gone through to much in my life to allow the world to reduce me to a state of nothingness
Mad --I blow my cork frequently--not as much as I used to--but often enough.
Hate-- Digi is right-- hate takes up way too much energy
Hate is more than emotion Hate is a constant state of being-- When you hate the object of your hatred becomes your focus--your mind swirls with vengeance , And "if I'd only said". etc etc etc. I don't hate anymore not Rich Urquhart not my ex not any of them. It Just took to much out of me as a person.
Do memories of the bad still make me mad at times (sorry for the rhyming) You betcha but I put it aside as quick as I can--cause dwelling on the wrongs done creates Pity party creates hate-saps energy and enjoyment of life.
Being mad or angry is a normal emotion when people channel it properly.
Spend sometime with a toddler or pre-schooler - this is what I've learned from my son. He used to get really upset about things and kick, scream, throw a royal fit, when he was beyond all frustration with a situation! My husband and I didn't know what to do - we're not like this (well... I have my moments at certain times of the month)... but he was just NUTS! So, I decided to figure out how to help him deal with this...
Rather than telling him he's wrong or dismissing his emotions, I ask, "What upset you?" and make him talk to me about it. Usually he's upset because his baby brother did something to one of his toys, or I asked him to do something he didn't want to do. Then I tell him, "It's okay to be mad at me (or his brother, or whomever) but that doesn't mean you can ________ (yell, kick, scream - whatever his bad behavior was). You need to ________ (then I tell him how he should handle it - like, do what I asked or trade his brother a different toy.)"
If you apply that to yourself - Why am I mad? Is this a logical way to handle this? How can I change this situation? - then you can better channel your emotions with just a little logic.
I've seen a huge change in Kristopher since I started using this method of reasoning with him. The times that he's totally unreasonable, then I've learned aren't due to his anger but almost always because of another physical - not emotional - reason - he's hungry, has to go potty, needs a nap - whatever - but can't get past his emotions because he's distracted. So, we get that need met - and he's fine. So, you may want to consider if there is another - physical reason - why you're getting angry or can't get past something...
Now hate... I save that for things - not people --
Like, I hate getting a speeding ticket but the policeman was just doing his job. Or I hate getting a shot, but the nurse had to administer it. I hate having to change a dirty diaper, but no the cute little guy who made the dirty diaper... I hate bills... and have nothing nice to say about the companies who send them to me (isn't that life?!)
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DaddyHoundog
no - or I would hate my kids--Lianne -washingtonweather
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moony3424
or any other family member and also any close friend.
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excathedra
i don't think i hate anyone
but MAD ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!
good to see you around, dear cool
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Galen
I see 'mad' as entirely different than 'hate'.
Though 'madness' is something we can all use.
:)
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johniam
I think it's a matter of degrees; everybody gets mad and WHILE you're mad there's time to savour the moment...yessssssssss....being mad is GOOD.....ahhhhhhh......this is nirvanaaaautopiaaaaheavennnnnblisssssaaahhhhhhhhhhhyesssssssssssssss. Most people just get mad and let's be done with it. Others like the way it feels and start looking for excuses to be mad all the time. THAT'S when hate can come in and get comfortable.
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Jade
no .. there is a differance.
i HATE only one person
i get mad at people all time
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Shellon
So many variables to being mad
Ire where one irritates another
Anger where the issue needs more attention and resolution
Rage where emotions run too high
I've finally reached a place where I can accept being angry or mad.
It's what we DO with our anger than makes all the differance.
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dmiller
Being mad at someone
Is recognizing their *inconsistencies*
Hating them ~~~
recognizes my own. :)
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doojable
I don't HATE anyone.
I get angry often - but manage to keep it under control and deal with the person in a mature fashion.
If I go MAD ( heh heh heh) well then all maturity goes out the window.
I believe that I have gone mad regarding my children on occasion - ok several occasions. I still end up back in this reality and loving them.
Seems to me that madness is Anger taken up a couple of notches..
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Digitalis
Cool its an interesting question that you pose here, causes one to think of their own inner self. I did think and regardless of what I once would have answered off the top of my head I think differently now.
For me ...... I can get upset with a person ...... but I don't stay upset with just any one person, its not available because they have no bearing on my life in particular and I can easily let misunderstandings go.
I think being angry is unhealthy and I try not to go there but if I do get angry its impossible not to recognize and I do all I can to remain calm.
The only people who can really make me angry or mad are those closest to me ... because it is them I care for most, love dearly and know the most about. Because my family members lives are open to me, I know that sometimes I want to step in and make sure my grown children still do what I wish, but I have to remember they are grown. Well at least the law states that 2 out of 3 of them are LOL. The other is still home under parental control and will be for another 5 plus years Thank God.
Being mad and hate aren't the same thing. I don't really think it is in me to hate anyone, for that is not the desire of my heart at all. I think that Hate would simply take up to much energy in one and drain them into a state of nothingness if there is such a thing. I have gone through to much in my life to allow the world to reduce me to a state of nothingness.
I now pray for those who have hurt me and leave it to God and do my best to leave anger out of the equation .........
Digi
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Belle
((((Louise Darlene)))))
Sometimes, when I was younger, I would get so mad at my parents that I would tell them I hated them. :) I didn't really hate them, though - ok, well, maybe momentarily I really did. LOL! It was their fault, though. I fully deserved to go to the movies with that drug dealing, cigarette smoking, high school drop out!
We say things in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean sometimes, but you can't take it back once it's said. :( I don't think being mad equates hate. I think, too, it's possible to hate someone and not be mad at them. They are two separate emotions.
Maybe anger that isn't addressed and healthily resolved can lead to hate. Especially for someone who has been abused for a very long time.
Are you getting the thoughts and comments you expected? Is there a different direction you wanted this to take?
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CoolWaters
{{{{{Everybody}}}}}
I've been sitting back 'listening' to the posts...thinking about them...letting them grow in my mind.
What has come of this is something I certainly did not expect...but something I certainly needed.
Don't really have the words to explain right now...just enjoying the input.
Thank you all very much.
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wingnut
Mad? You mean ticked off, or slap the perp or freakin wring their necks or blow them away?
Then there is hate, which I don't think is a fluctuating state or emotion. Its deep, to the bone type thing. I can love someone and get mad at them, I can't love and hate the same person no matter how much Hollywood tries to sell the love/hate relationship.
But what I find I am doing more and more is just not caring. A person's track record shows they aren't worth the stress it takes or the higher blood pressure from getting mad. Hate someone and watch for them to get what they deserve, not caring you just don't care and aren't surprised when their karma, what they sowed; whatever you want to call it catches up with them.
I think my Dad was right when he use to tell me, maturity will replace all that anger someday.
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templelady
Mad --I blow my cork frequently--not as much as I used to--but often enough.
Hate-- Digi is right-- hate takes up way too much energy
Hate is more than emotion Hate is a constant state of being-- When you hate the object of your hatred becomes your focus--your mind swirls with vengeance , And "if I'd only said". etc etc etc. I don't hate anymore not Rich Urquhart not my ex not any of them. It Just took to much out of me as a person.
Do memories of the bad still make me mad at times (sorry for the rhyming) You betcha but I put it aside as quick as I can--cause dwelling on the wrongs done creates Pity party creates hate-saps energy and enjoyment of life.
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ChasUFarley
Being mad or angry is a normal emotion when people channel it properly.
Spend sometime with a toddler or pre-schooler - this is what I've learned from my son. He used to get really upset about things and kick, scream, throw a royal fit, when he was beyond all frustration with a situation! My husband and I didn't know what to do - we're not like this (well... I have my moments at certain times of the month)... but he was just NUTS! So, I decided to figure out how to help him deal with this...
Rather than telling him he's wrong or dismissing his emotions, I ask, "What upset you?" and make him talk to me about it. Usually he's upset because his baby brother did something to one of his toys, or I asked him to do something he didn't want to do. Then I tell him, "It's okay to be mad at me (or his brother, or whomever) but that doesn't mean you can ________ (yell, kick, scream - whatever his bad behavior was). You need to ________ (then I tell him how he should handle it - like, do what I asked or trade his brother a different toy.)"
If you apply that to yourself - Why am I mad? Is this a logical way to handle this? How can I change this situation? - then you can better channel your emotions with just a little logic.
I've seen a huge change in Kristopher since I started using this method of reasoning with him. The times that he's totally unreasonable, then I've learned aren't due to his anger but almost always because of another physical - not emotional - reason - he's hungry, has to go potty, needs a nap - whatever - but can't get past his emotions because he's distracted. So, we get that need met - and he's fine. So, you may want to consider if there is another - physical reason - why you're getting angry or can't get past something...
Now hate... I save that for things - not people --
Like, I hate getting a speeding ticket but the policeman was just doing his job. Or I hate getting a shot, but the nurse had to administer it. I hate having to change a dirty diaper, but no the cute little guy who made the dirty diaper... I hate bills... and have nothing nice to say about the companies who send them to me (isn't that life?!)
Just some thoughts...
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