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Blonde Joke


Digitalis
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A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she says.

"I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet and she's got no clothes on!"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,

past her husband, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is

her sister totally naked, cowering on the closet floor."You rotten SOB,"

she screams , "My husband's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!"

Digi and Hubby

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ohhhh DIGI

That is so funny but i also like the one you sent me about the man at social security

After retiring, I went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry but I seemed to have left my wallet at Home. "I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing mycurly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too.

i knew you wouldnt mind me sharing it :wave::wave::wave:

Edited by marypoppins
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glad you liked the social secrutiy one.. it was cute i thought. :)

here is another bonde joke ..

A Blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

He tells her, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a

day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you,

you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the Blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my

instructions?"

The Blonde nods and answers, "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was

going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asks the doctor

"No", replied the Blonde, "From skipping"

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God & the Blonde

A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has

gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so

desperate that she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my

business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my

house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto!I've lost

my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she

prays.

"My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my

house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You

for

help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win

the lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens

open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this... BUY A TICKET

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Jade,

You want blonde jokes?? I've got blonde jokes, girl!

Three women who work in the same office notice that their

female boss has started leaving work early every day, so

one day they decide that after she leaves, they'll take off

early, too. After all, she never calls or comes back, so

how is she to know?

The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a

little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed

early. The redhead is elated to be able to get in a quick

workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde is also very happy to be home early, but as she

goes upstairs she hears noises coming from her bedroom. She

quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see her

husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closes

the door and creeps out of her house.

The next day the brunette and redhead talk about leaving

early again, but when they ask the blonde if she wants to

leave early also, she exclaims, "NO WAY! Yesterday I almost

got caught!"

sudo
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A blonde lady motorcycle cop pulls over a blonde.

Blond Motor Cycle Cop: I need to see you license.

Blonde: Looks through her purse and asks the cop what does a license look like?

Blond Motor Cycle Cop: It is something with your picture on it.

Blonde pulls out her compact mirror and looks at it and hands it to the Blond Motor Cycle Cop.

Blond Motor Cycle Cop: Looks ino the compact mirror and says to the blonde...."I did not know you were a police officer".

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Two Blondes walk into a building....................................You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

Edited by justloafing
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