Leroy

[moony3424]

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids...

WOW," the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???"

Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats.

Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names."

"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy." OK, and who's next?" Well, this one he is Leroy, also."

The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy!

All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?"

Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.'

An 'if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy."

The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?"

Then I calls them by their last names."

[TED Ferrell]

Woe Is Me

Back home in WV, there lived this family

With much confusion as you will see

There was a momma a pappy and a son that was grown

Who wanted to marry have wife of his own

He found a sweet thang that suited him nice

Su he went to his pappy to ask his advice

You can't marry that gal son I got to say no

That girl is your sister but your momma don't know

Chorus

Woe is me all that shame and scandal in the family

Woe is me so much shame and scandal in my family

Verse Two

The son he goes out and starts fooling around

Soon the best cook in WV.he sure has found

He goes to his pappy to help him name the day

Pappy says you can't marry that gal no no no

That girl is your sister but your momma don't know

Repeat Chorus

Verse Three

The son he keep right on a messing around

Seventeen women in WV.he found

But every time he goes to pappy his pappy says no

Those girls are your sisters but your momma don't know

The son he goes to his momma and covers his head

Tells his momma all his pappy has said

His momma just laughs and says go son go

Your pappy ain't your pappy but your pappy don't know

Repeat Chorus

[dmiller]

The son he goes to his momma and covers his head

Tells his momma all his pappy has said

His momma just laughs and says go son go

Your pappy ain't your pappy but your pappy don't know

I've heard that one before!

Great tune!!!

[oilfieldmedic]

TED...you ol' crooner you, I just love it when you sing those love songs! LOL