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Saying Goodby to TWI and Greasespot.

lilbit

By lilbit,
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lilbit Newbie

lilbit

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For the last copla months I have taken a hard look at my spirituality. I have come to realize that much of what I "thought" and "understood" of spirituality was a mixture of "oil" and "water". There was the experiance of many cults in my quest for truth. TWI was the third of many. Mixed in the hunger for truth was immaturity and naivity. I lacked life skills and experiances and trusted completly the direction of another. As a result I have trauma wounds of fear, shame ,anxity, grief and intermitted shame.

Greasespot has been a Godsend to help identify some of these wounds. Also GS has made it comfortable to speak ones truth...to have a voice. To be able to address your fears and disappointments and not be alone in your experiance... how truly valadating and healing.

For me there came a point that the healing became rumination. I had emotionally cycled with each new topic at times and had reexperianced the fear and anger. Like getting caught up in the drama over and over again. For me GS became a truma bond. A link to the past to keep the intensity going. This is by no means GS fault. What was a means to heal became to me a reason to not move on but stay in the victum role and cry "Fowl Play". A friend once told me, "If you are holding on that tight to something that is that painful then you have to ask one question...What are you getting out of it?" For me it was an excuse to fail and self-destruct.

I held on to the "suffering" in my life and thought it was my destiny/lot in life. I no longer hold fast to this concept. Latly I have had s spiritual "shift". A different point of view was introduced to me to help explain first ...WHY. Then everything else fell into place. Surprisingly though it was alot of little things that came together in my understanding. All this happened when I made a conscious decision to ask for "Gods" help and availed myself to what ever came into my sphere of enfluence. This time with wisdom and boundries as my companions. Also to "trust" what resinates with me . That has been tough but workable.

As a result I recognize my attachments to the past and made a decision to let it go. In doing so I am empting myself of painful things and am making room for things I thought TWI and others would teach me. First and formost, "How to unconditionally Love". I have had more Joy and Peace within the last copla months than in my whole existance put together. I am thankful beyound words. The unconditional love part is on the horizon and I am excited with the endless possibilites to practice/do.

All this brings me to the reason for this post. It's time to let go of GS. For me it is a trauma bond and I am working on recreating a peaceful and harmonic life. (Hense the "oil and water".) Maybe down the road I can come back and say "howdy do". But I sense that it is a circle that is being closed and that is o.k.

I would like to thank Paw for his enduring love and patience. Thankyou for all that you have done ,do do and will do . You are a good man. To Shellon for all her support and follow up. Also for allowing me to have a voice with you and others in the quietness of...! To Oldies you have provided a fourm of debate that is much needed. Not that I agree with you but your comments have challanged me to dig a little deeper and really test for myself what I really believe... if it is not VPW than what? You still bug the crap out of me and...that is o.k too. For all that crossed my path in diolog...NAMASTE..GOD BLESS

Imbus/lilbit

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Digitalis Newbie

Digitalis

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Lilbit,

Congratulations on your new evaluation of your spiritual life. I think its wonderful.

A prayer for you on your way through life darling.

Hope you stop in once awhile to say hello but if not I know you won't forget us as we won't forget you dear.

May your journey be a grande one through life,

Digi

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J0nny Ling0 Newbie

J0nny Ling0

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Imbus,

Jonny Lingo here. Hey, thank you for the words we had with each other. I have not overcome the thing we talked about, but, I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I wish you well, and, I am in total agreement with the idea of "moving on". Sometimes just letting the past fall by the wayside is the right thing to do. Re-hashing the wrongs done to us can be a "good thing" in order to get it off one's chest, but eventually there should come a time when we "let it go" and move on. We cannot change the past, for, we have lived it and it is now part of Woman and Man's history. But we can change the future. I wish you the best in the course that you are taking, and you are in my prayers with a vision of peace....

Vaya Con Dios,

"Jonny Lingo"

P.s.

I like the change in your name...Lilbit. Very sweet, like you undoubtedly are... :wave:

What is "NAMASTE"?

Edited by Jonny Lingo
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Belle Newbie

Belle

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Its cause we love your Rottie, RottieGrrrl. :biglaugh: Actually, we miss you when you're gone and always glad to see you when you visit. :P

Lilbit, I didn't know you were imbus, either! But I do want to say that your posts on WayDale, or was it early GSpot days?, anyway, your posts helped me bunches and bunches!! I admire your courage and tenacity and thank you for the time you spent with us. Best wishes to you!!

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