15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

[Digitalis]

15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. AT LUNCH TIME SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR WITH SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A HAIR DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.

2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.

3. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN OVER THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO EXPRESSO.

4. IN THE MEMO FIELD OF ALL YOUR CHECKS. WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."

5. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN."

6. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."

7. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.

8. ASK WHAT PEOPLE WHAT SEX THEY ARE. LAUGH HISTERICALLY AFTER THEY ANSWER.

9. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."

10. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.

11. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA AND PLAY TROPICAL SOUNDS ALL DAY.

12. HAVE YOUR CO-WORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, (ROCK HARD OR OTHER APPROPRIATE NAME).

13. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT OF THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON, I WON!"

14. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO START RUNNING TOWARDS TEH PARKING LOT, YELLING "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

15. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

FUN FUN FUN,

DIGI

[moony3424]

9. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO."

When I was working at MacDonald's years ago, i'd get this one alot.

TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."

Instead, I would just tell one of them that it was their turn to watch.

[GarthP2000]

I heard this one from George Carlin:

Get into a long line at a bank, a very l-o-n-g line. When you finally get up to the counter, ask them if they have change for a nickel. The other tellers will actually walk over and look at you!

[dmiller]

Go into a changing room at Target, Walmart, or any large department store

and after a few minutes, yell LOUDLY --

HEY!!! There's no toilet paper in here!!

[oilfieldmedic]

Y'all are insane...I love it.

Something I do in my clinic: A patient comes complaining of a cough, so I ask them what brand they smoke, then I offer them a Camel Filter...what's a medic to do?