Gotta Love Drunks

[moony3424]

You Gotta Love Drunk People

A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke

down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband

"Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk.

[J0nny Ling0]

Good one!

[topoftheworld]

Cute!

Must be the holidays-lot of drunk stories coming up! ;) ;)

[excathedra]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

mooney

that was me!!!!

[moony3424]

I was wondering who was pushing me on that swing. ^_^

[TED Ferrell]

Drunk says to bartender hey fella give me another double shot and a beer..Bartender replies no way man you have had enough and you are drunk as skunk.

The drunk says no I ain't drunk and I'll prove it I can see that ONE Eyed Dog that is coming in the door 'Bartender says now I know you are s_ _ t faced cause that dog is not coming in the door he's going out of the door!!!!

Ok Moony it's your fault for starting this thread :P

Edited December 28, 2005 by TED Ferrell

[excathedra]

TED ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that was HYSTERICAL

moony, every time i think about the drunk just sitting in the backyard on the swing, i crack up

must be a blast to be around the two of you

[TED Ferrell]

Excathedra

Yeah moony and I do share a lot of laughs and good times together.

Dear heart when we get settled in FL. the door will always be open for you to come for a visit.

Iv'e told moony about what a wondeful lady you are.You are a class act

Hope you had a nice Christmas . Moony and I wish for you a Happy New Year may it be the best year ever

Love And Miss You

Your Friend I Will Always Be.

Ted

[moony3424]

Ted

I emailed you.

Got to get ready to go to work. Everybody have a fantastic (not to be confused by this joke) day.

moony

[oilfieldmedic]

too funny y'all...I got one for ya:

The police are watching this bar.

Every night around 2am they write dozens of DUI's as the patrons leave.

To get even with the cops, they come up with a plan...

One guy staggering beyond belief, gets in his car to drive off, while all the others drive off.

The police stop this guy and give him every test imaginable and he passes...he even blows a 0.0

One cop says to the man, "I don't understand, are you really sober"?

"Why yes", the man replies, "I am the designated drunk"!

:P :D

Edited December 28, 2005 by oilfieldmedic

[justloafing]

Two men were sitting at a bar. One man says "laywers are a$$holes". A man at the end of the bar heard him say that and said "I resent that remark". The man who said it said he was sorry and asked the man if he was a laywer. The man responded "No I'm an a$$hole."