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Letter From Santa


Ron G.
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Dear Friends

I have been watching you very closely to see if you

have been good this year

and since you have I will be telling my elves to make

some goodies for me to

leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to

bring you all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but

we had a little problem.

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD

from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords

leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking, and the

9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird

things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese

a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle

doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to

my sled runners in bird $*@!.

On top of all this! Mrs. Claus is going through

menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat,

the elves have joined the gay liberation and some

people who can't read a calendar

have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January.

Maybe next year I will be able

to get my $*@! together and bring you the things you

want. This year I suggest

you get your asses down to Walmart before everything

is gone.

Love,

Santa.

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