You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if...

[Ron G.]

1. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... people ask when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if...opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

6. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

8. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... people think "rapture"

is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

9. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the baptismal pool is a

#2 galvanized washtub.

10. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... "Thou shall not covet"

applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in an Arkansas Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah".

God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!!!

[Sudo]

Ron,

Hee-hee!! I'm stealing those Arkansas jokes and forwarding them on in e-mail.

sudo (think I'll change 'em all to Mississippi)

[moony3424]

Ron,

Hee-hee!! I'm stealing those Arkansas jokes and forwarding them on in e-mail.

<center>sudo (think I'll change 'em all to Mississippi)</center>

...or Alabama

[dmiller]

2. You Know You're in an Arkansas Church if... people ask when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

:biglaugh:

[Thomas Loy Bumgarner]

This could be true for any backwards, out in the boonies church in the Southeast, particularly in the Appalachian Mountains where they serve moonshine for Communion.

[Kevlar2000]

...where they serve moonshine for Communion.

Nothing wrong with that. I love country handicrafted things!

:)