Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? I actually said this to my husband and he proposed to me on the spot with ring and all ... We were married within 8 months ..... had to plan the wedding. LOL
EVERYbody likes a little as*, but NOBODY likes a smartas*.
Do as I say, not as I do. (as was pronounced like the word in the above quote)
You get what you pay for. (She passed away before the generic movement took effect)
She also said "Short woman who put detergent on top shelf may have to jump for Joy." That one really cracked her up.
Bow, your mom sounds like one great lady. Now I know where your great sense of humor comes from!
Mama is 5’4”, so she’ll love the Short Woman line. :D
"It's not what I have accomplished in this life that is so great;
it is what I have overcome."
W.E.B. DuBois
Very poignant, Catcup! Means a lot to my family these days.
LOL! Karmic!!
((((excathedra)))) I wish your daddy had been as loving and wonderful as you deserve for him to have been.
Ron, you’ve got me cracking up! I remember that “tuff titty” line from somewhere, but I can’t imagine it came from my Daddy. LOL!
"Put (him or her) out of my misery...."
Anonymous
I think I’ve actually heard Daddy say that one!! Good one doojable!
"Jonny, even though you are a pain, you don't make a very good window"
And, when he was being "humourous";
"Jonny? You're good for two things: Good for nothin and no good at all..."[/quote\
Jonny, my daddy would say, “You make a better door than a window” but I suspect he’d have said it your daddy’s way if he’d heard it said that way first! LOL!
He’ll love that “good for two things” quote!
Love it, Sharon! Sounds like a Bill Cosby kind of line. I’ll have to add that one. I’ve got a few similar to that one that I’ve added to Mama’s and Grandma’s:
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it when we get home!"
My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand."
My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?"
My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you.. Don't talk back to me!"
My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home."
My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
I’ve got all kinds of quotes – funny quote, serious quotes, just trivia questions/information, “I remember when…” of personal times we’ve spent together and memories they probably don’t realize made such an impact on my life….so I really am using some of these :) Thank you all for your ideas, suggestions and, most of all, time.
Here are some of the other ones I've chosen. Daddy is a Banker and taught me to love Broadway musicals. He also loves trivia.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Two lesser known, previous members of The Beatles: Pete Best and Stu Sutcliffe.
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
Remember the year "The Heart of Rock & Roll" by Huey Lewis was released? That's when we had our trip to DC and every state or so we changed the words to the chorus because none of us could figure out what he was saying. It wasn't till we got home and looked at the lyrics in the album that we figured it out.
When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts' and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
WN! Mama used to say, "You're old enough for your "wants" not to hurt you" --- usually when we weren't going to get what we wanted.
Okay, Exie. But the rest be forewarned; the following contains adult situations. Some material may not be suitable for children in the word ...
My father, regarding some women: Son, they're dick-traps. They'll suck you for all you've got and leave you high & dry.
One of his favorite uphemisms: cock-headed (or prick-headed) monkey f**ker. Hence, my use of CHMF ...
Well, actually, I exchanged one word, the word 'cock'. This is a good and biblical word, but not the original word my father used. He would use, instead of 'cock', the degrading word attributed to women, the almost never used anymore, 'C' word.
Let me ask you a question... If you change just ONE word of what my father said, do you have his word??
And following onto his statement of maturity (...just because you can drink beer & get a hard-on don't make you a man) was, "Why, I had a room-mate in college who'd buy rubbers by the gross, and look at him today!! He doesn't have a pot to *%^#* in..."
Regarding my daliances with a cutie who lived down the street: "If you'd get as concerned and excited about doing what I ask you to do, as you do playing grab-foot and stink-finger with Sharon down at the bridge, you'd be lightyears ahead ..."
Tom Tuttle, I imagine your dad must be pretty darn cool to spend time with. You must have learned his lessons well! Thanks for sharing his words of wisdom with us and, Excathedra, thanks for asking him to! :D
LOL! MaryPoppins, that's funny! BTW, Welcome to our little corner of cyberspace!
Belle, update on my ice cream one....duh.... I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream....
Ok, in today's paper, an article written by Sharon Randall, has a great saying, seeing as your dad is/was a banker. "Life..is a bank. Sometime you put in. Other times you take out. Either way, it's all the same bank." A quote from her mom when they had been down on their luck one Christmas and a church group brought them a ham, small tree, & cookies. The mom also added, "You need to remember how hard it is to take, because someday, you'll do the giving." Pretty cool.
Act2, I really like those! Daddy will get the bank one, of course. He'll definitely like it and wish he had known that one when we were growing up.
I think the one about giving and taking, which is very cool, will go to Mama and Grandma. Sounds like something they would say and I can let them know with that what a good job they did of teaching me how to do both. :) :)
Brother Speed! So glad you're back on US soil and I sure as heck hope you're birthday is going along smashingly today!
I know my Mama will really like the homework quote. She's always said that she's glad my little brother & I got Daddy's intelligence. :P
And.... Honest Injun!! I really like your personal quote! Being out of TWI that quote speaks louder and truer than ever, I think. I'm gonna give that one to Daddy and Paw Paw and I'll make sure I credit our beloved Brother Speed with being the author of it! ;)
Thank you both!! I still have about 80 to go! :o Who'd a thunk it's be so hard to do this?? Actually, it's just the time factor - but I WILL get it done. I'm determined! And y'all have all been sooo wonderful and helpful - I seriously doubt I could have done it - or certainly not nearly as well - if it hadn't been for you wonderful Greasespots.
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OK now we are going into some of our own,
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free? I actually said this to my husband and he proposed to me on the spot with ring and all ... We were married within 8 months ..... had to plan the wedding. LOL
Digi
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Belle
Mama is 5’4”, so she’ll love the Short Woman line. :D
Very poignant, Catcup! Means a lot to my family these days.
LOL! Karmic!!
((((excathedra)))) I wish your daddy had been as loving and wonderful as you deserve for him to have been.
Ron, you’ve got me cracking up! I remember that “tuff titty” line from somewhere, but I can’t imagine it came from my Daddy. LOL!
I think I’ve actually heard Daddy say that one!! Good one doojable!
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tomtuttle1
My father once told me, "Son, you can be old, and you can be poor, but don't be both." Had I stayed in TWI, I would have gnosko'd this statement.
About growing up, he said "Just because you can drink beer & get a hard-on don't make you a man..."
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Belle
ROFLMAO! Tom Tuttle, that last one's going in my uncle's jar!
Daddy'll really like that first one, and I suspect, like your Daddy, he's glad I'm out of that outfit before I'm old and poor. :D
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J0nny Ling0
Confucious say;
"Man who walk around with hand in pocket feel cocky all day...."
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Nottawayfer
My dad is an Okie, and he used to say the following when we told hm we wanted something:
"Want in one hand; sheet (I used the nice version of the word) in the other and see which fills up faster."
"People in hell want ice water, but they don't get it."
Lord! It's amazing we even grew up half decent hearing words like that...LOL!!
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Hopefull
"BALLS" said the Queen, "If I had'em I'd be King".
and
She offered her honor
He honored her offer
So all night long
He was "on her" and "off her"
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excathedra
okay now i'm reading more of these and they are great !!!!!!!!
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Belle
They ARE Great!
Here are some of the other ones I've chosen. Daddy is a Banker and taught me to love Broadway musicals. He also loves trivia.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Two lesser known, previous members of The Beatles: Pete Best and Stu Sutcliffe.
Very funny, Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car that will take 5 years to pay off.
Remember the year "The Heart of Rock & Roll" by Huey Lewis was released? That's when we had our trip to DC and every state or so we changed the words to the chorus because none of us could figure out what he was saying. It wasn't till we got home and looked at the lyrics in the album that we figured it out.
When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts' and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
WN! Mama used to say, "You're old enough for your "wants" not to hurt you" --- usually when we weren't going to get what we wanted.
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excathedra
tomtut, tell my favorite quote of your dad
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tomtuttle1
Okay, Exie. But the rest be forewarned; the following contains adult situations. Some material may not be suitable for children in the word ...
My father, regarding some women: Son, they're dick-traps. They'll suck you for all you've got and leave you high & dry.
One of his favorite uphemisms: cock-headed (or prick-headed) monkey f**ker. Hence, my use of CHMF ...
Well, actually, I exchanged one word, the word 'cock'. This is a good and biblical word, but not the original word my father used. He would use, instead of 'cock', the degrading word attributed to women, the almost never used anymore, 'C' word.
Let me ask you a question... If you change just ONE word of what my father said, do you have his word??
And following onto his statement of maturity (...just because you can drink beer & get a hard-on don't make you a man) was, "Why, I had a room-mate in college who'd buy rubbers by the gross, and look at him today!! He doesn't have a pot to *%^#* in..."
Regarding my daliances with a cutie who lived down the street: "If you'd get as concerned and excited about doing what I ask you to do, as you do playing grab-foot and stink-finger with Sharon down at the bridge, you'd be lightyears ahead ..."
That's my dad!! Always teaching !!!!
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marypoppins
my hubbys favourite statement is:
" GOD MADE WOMEN WITH SMALLER FEET THAN MEN SO THEY COULD GET CLOSER TO THE SINK"
hes so funny, (dont take it serious its his joke)
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Belle
Tom Tuttle, I imagine your dad must be pretty darn cool to spend time with. You must have learned his lessons well! Thanks for sharing his words of wisdom with us and, Excathedra, thanks for asking him to! :D
LOL! MaryPoppins, that's funny! BTW, Welcome to our little corner of cyberspace!
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
from winston churchell
on a plane a woman said to him
sir,if you were my husband,i would poison your drink.
he replied
madam if you were my wife i would gladly drink it!
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J0nny Ling0
Confucious say;
"Woman who fly upside down have crack up..." :o
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J0nny Ling0
Confucius Say:
A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded.
A good woman will do 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69.
Never argue with a fool...he may be doing the same thing.
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.
A Penis is the only thing that a woman hopes she will find hard to handle.
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Belle
Y'all are cracking me up!!
Jonny, some of those are going in my uncle's jar. :P
Going in the gals' jars.
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powerfilled
Confusious says:
Man who goes to bed with itchy bum always wakes up with smelly finger
also
One slip of the tongue and your in the $*@!
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Digitalis
Johny .......... Most instructional ......... I guess I don't have to do anything but cook and stay in bed. I can get out of doing the dishes now. LOL
Power,
ROFLMAO .............. that was histerical ......................
Brilliant deduction ..........................
Digi
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Belle
Jonny, you're on a roll!!
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act2
Belle, update on my ice cream one....duh.... I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream....
Ok, in today's paper, an article written by Sharon Randall, has a great saying, seeing as your dad is/was a banker. "Life..is a bank. Sometime you put in. Other times you take out. Either way, it's all the same bank." A quote from her mom when they had been down on their luck one Christmas and a church group brought them a ham, small tree, & cookies. The mom also added, "You need to remember how hard it is to take, because someday, you'll do the giving." Pretty cool.
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Brother Speed
Belle,
My dad helping me with homework. "I've already forgotten everything that you know.
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Brother Speed
Belle,
Honest Injun!
I thunk this one up all by myself.
"The line between right and wrong is filled with various shades of grey matter."
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Belle
LOL!
Act2, I really like those! Daddy will get the bank one, of course. He'll definitely like it and wish he had known that one when we were growing up.
I think the one about giving and taking, which is very cool, will go to Mama and Grandma. Sounds like something they would say and I can let them know with that what a good job they did of teaching me how to do both. :) :)
Brother Speed! So glad you're back on US soil and I sure as heck hope you're birthday is going along smashingly today!
I know my Mama will really like the homework quote. She's always said that she's glad my little brother & I got Daddy's intelligence. :P
And.... Honest Injun!! I really like your personal quote! Being out of TWI that quote speaks louder and truer than ever, I think. I'm gonna give that one to Daddy and Paw Paw and I'll make sure I credit our beloved Brother Speed with being the author of it! ;)
Thank you both!! I still have about 80 to go! :o Who'd a thunk it's be so hard to do this?? Actually, it's just the time factor - but I WILL get it done. I'm determined! And y'all have all been sooo wonderful and helpful - I seriously doubt I could have done it - or certainly not nearly as well - if it hadn't been for you wonderful Greasespots.
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