home remedies

[Jade]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a

cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be

almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by

getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by

simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and

bleed for A few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember

to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent

you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the

snooze button.

6 If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then

you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you

will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never

know when you might need them to empty your bedpan

[dmiller]

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

:biglaugh:

So true!!!