You Know You Live In Florida When:

[Belle]

You have FEMA's number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your kitchen

drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti-Os.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the

plywood covering your windows.

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say

it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe hallway.

Your SSN is no secret, it's written in Sharpie on your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake

Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the

bottom of the pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and

not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It'll

take only a gallon of gas to get there and back."

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water

in your freezer.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today

you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound redfish... in your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's

insurance policy.

You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo, Mississippi.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the

biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists

who work at the Weather Channel.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MREs and bottled water.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy

idea.

You spend more time on your roof than in your living room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence

builder or a tree worker.

A battery-powered TV is considered a home entertainment

center.

You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the

summer.

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean

it's Christmas.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm

and the "bad side."

[dmiller]

Oh %$ -- I should have posted THIS POST here instead. :D

Edited November 17, 2005 by dmiller

[moony3424]

Ok. I went through the list. The only thing that I have a question about is this:

You catch a 13-pound redfish... in your driveway.

Does a grouper count?

[bowtwi]

Derail Warning:

Does anyone have a copy of that email that went around last summer entitled "We've Moved." It was a map of the US showing Florida up between Montana and Minnesota, as I recall? My friend in Clearwater, FL is looking for it and I'd love to be able to send it to her. Thanks.

Back to original silly subject.

[Jim]

I will never, ever complain about earthquakes again...

Does anyone have a copy of that email that went around last summer entitled "We've Moved." It was a map of the US showing Florida up between Montana and Minnesota, as I recall? My friend in Clearwater, FL is looking for it and I'd love to be able to send it to her. Thanks.

Maybe not quite exactly what you're looking for...

http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/australia.shtml

[moony3424]

Derail Warning:

Does anyone have a copy of that email that went around last summer entitled "We've Moved." It was a map of the US showing Florida up between Montana and Minnesota, as I recall? My friend in Clearwater, FL is looking for it and I'd love to be able to send it to her. Thanks.

There's a copy of it hanging in a co-workers' office. If you have a fax that I could send it to pm me. (BTW, Clearwater would be local for me.)

[bowtwi]

Moony - Please check your Private Messages. Thanks.

[Raf]

You know you live in Florida when:

You're taking a word association test, and the therapist says "cone," and you DON'T say "ice cream."

[ex70sHouston]

You know your not from Florida when you cousin calls and tells you that their Florida room blew off and is now across the street.

They finally explained what a Florida room is.

[J0nny Ling0]

Okay now, What is a "Florida Room"?

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

jl

from my understanding a florida room is nothing more than a screened in porch with nice furnishings and a fridge to keep the beer cold

SEND SALMON!

[moony3424]

jl

from my understanding a florida room is nothing more than a screened in porch with nice furnishings and a fridge to keep the beer cold

Well, most Florida rooms don't have the fridge. Another aspect is that they could also have windows for those cold winter days down here.

[dmiller]

SEND SALMON!

Coolchef --- keep asking, and you'll wear JL down before too long!! :D :P :D

[bowtwi]

Thanks Moony! That was very kind of you.

Here's what my Clearwater friend wrote me after I sent her what you faxed to bow jr.

OMG.....Thank You! Especially for that FL moved thingy...hahaaaa!!!

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

gee i hope so dmiller!!!! love that alaskan salmon!!!!

[socks]

Okay now, What is a "Florida Room"?

.....a "Protected Environment" for Palmetto bugs.

Edited December 14, 2005 by socks

[moony3424]

.....a "Protected Environment" for Palmetto bugs.

Yup.

You know you live in Florida when you consider a white Christmas as sitting on Siesta Beach watching the waves with an umbrella drink in you hand. And what's Christmas without the beautiful lights adorning the palm trees?

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

yuck

i want snow for christmas!!!

Edited December 14, 2005 by coolchef1248 @adelphia.net

[Belle]

LOL! When I first moved down here my Daddy was notorious for wanting to get his picture made by everything that was decorated for Christmas - his instructions were clear, too....

Hey! Get a picture of me standing by this palm Christmas Tree wearing my shorts!

Hey! Get a picture of me in my bathing suit standing on the beach with this Egg Nog in my hand at Christmas!

Hey! Get a picture of me riding in your convertible with the top down at Christmas!

He was so tickled to be able to wear shorts at Christmas!

And then there's the traditional Christmas Eve Dinner at Hard Rock Cafe each year. Twill be in Mississippi this year, though, no HRC - Cock of the Walk will be picking up the slack! :P