And ya know, I just sent her a cd (that I finally made copies of) that has yours truly playing harmonica on it. And now, I really really wish I had taken Socks up on his offer to help me with a cd project that I wanted to do called "Bless Tones" which would have been sweet harmonica sounds on an instrumental only album that would feature nice tunes like In The Garden, His name Is Wonderful, and stuff like that with nice sweet "semi-jazzish" guyitar chords backing it up. I would bet something like that would really be a blessing to her, for she loves music, and she really loved my cd. The only really good track on it is of me playing harp on "Georgia On My Mind" which really came off nicely.
But, I lost touch with Mr. Socks, and even though he tried to stay in contact with me, I didn't with him. I kinda blew it...
But my friend really dug the harmonicas, and remembers when I first tried being cool with them back in high school and is glad that got better at it. And thank YOU for the compliment!
O geez, Cool Chef. I have mis-lead you. The deal is this: I played with a certain friend two years in a row during tourist season in Haines, Alaska, where the local clan of Tlingit Indians are known as being from the "Chilkat Clan". My friend and I played blues mostly, and he is an awesome keyboard player, and knows a million songs, or so it seems to me. His gig is a "one man band thing" with his keyboards. The bass and drums are added in somehow electronically, but his his vocals, at times guitar, and then me on harmonicas and back up vocals are Live when we play together. We had so much fun doing it, and everybody seems to love a harmonica (even a mediocre player like me!), and at the end of our second season, he offered to put some tracks down with his keyboard, bass sound, drums, vocals, and me stepping in and laying down the harmonica track. We did it in his cheap apartment, and he set his equipment up in his closet, where I stepped in and played to the background tracks, and then he burned a master cd of it for me, which I have finally made a mere five copies of. If my computer had a cd burner, I'd burn you one and send it right away. But, I don't even have that, and I have promised the others away already. But when I do get a new computer, which is on my list, I'll make a note of it here, and then we can talk about it, addresses and such. And, if I ever get back with Socks, and get my act together and if he is still willing to give me a hand, maybe I will come up with that "Bless Tones" project I mentioned, which no doubt would be way more professional than that which we "The Chill Cats" threw together. By the way, I came up with the name "The Chill Cats" to honor my Native friends, but didn't want to take their tribal name as it is correctly spelled out of respect for them. And so, it is sort of a "double entendre' which, my Native friends really dig and appreciate! Maybe this should be posted over on that thread that was designed to "attract Socks" in the "Open" forum.
This is a very touching account. I feel very much for the woman you are helping, as I feel for many others in similar states of excruciating pain.
This following is set of a rhetorical questions. I feel comfortable to bet anything that your answers would be the loving, kind, and obvious ones. I'd also bet that most posters here, most of the time, would answer these questions similarly. I'm asking this for the sake of stimulating thought in others regarding a different situation that you had nothing to do with.
In your first post on this thread you wrote: "I listen to her (yes we talk on the phone now on Saturdays), and many times she cries, and at other times she writes in e-mails the latest thing Ally divulges, and how it hurts her angers her, and causes her to plot murder in her heart. I tell her that it doesn't sound like murder, only justice. She gets her anger out, and, I listen..."
Jonny, do you encourage her to think through and amplify such naturally occurring and understandable murder revenge plots? Or do you encourage her to do her best EVENTUALLY stop all of that kind thinking? I know your answers here are "no" and then "yes" respectively.
Jonny, would you think it's wrong for someone else to encourage her to visualize IN DETAIL such a murder plot? Again, I know your answer.
Jonny, would you think it a tragic mistake if someone else accidently or jokingly encouraged her to take such revenge? Of course not! Such an accident or joke would not be what she needs to hear at all and would hurt her.
Jonny, would you want to protect her from such accidents or jokes?
Thank you, Jonny, for allowing me to ask you these rhetorical questions. I know that she is in good hands when you talk to her. I want, like you, for her to find ways to calm down those stresses and eliminate those urges, and let God take proper vengeance on the culprit.
She wasn't literally plotting or planning a murder or or a "hit". She was only venting her frustration that he, until the trial is over, is still loose and driving around in his pick up as if nothing ever happened. It wa more like "I'd like to kill that sob for what he's done to my daughter and to our lives".
And, I know I'm a bit slow, but I'm not really sure of what you are getting at here Mike...
I was attempting to make a point to other people about a different situation. Sorry if I befuddled you. You weren't involved in that other situation. It's all pretty subtle. I'm cheering you on in your efforts to help your friend. You're a great guy!
JL, He is just using you AND this tragic situationin in an attempt to make an completely unrelated point for an entirely different thread....thus the *rehtorical* questions....
Jonny I've been following this, and want to tell you--I'm glad you are there for Terry--You are a wonderful friend. And I'm also glad your wife is involved, as you said. I know the challenges I would have if my hubby was helping someone in a similar situation--based on her story, I would believe he was genuinely helping her, but I still would deal with jelous thoughts. It's really good you've involved her!
Sounds like Terry is going through so much guilt-- and you can tell her she is NOT the guilty one, but it will take time for that to sink in--she has so much to sort through. I'm so sorry she and Allie have had to go through this-- and that the monster is still on the loose. It's easy to say time will heal, I will be praying for her-- and for you to have the best words of comfort--or the best ear at times!
Hey Psalmie and all the rest of you, thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers! I haven't told my friend Terry that I have mentioned this on a public forum (and I won't) even though the names have been changed to protect the innocent... But God Almighty knows of your prayers, and I am sure they will not fall on deaf ears! And so, thank you! Maybe at some time in the distant future I might tell her of my mentioning this amongst a bunch who cared for her and her situation. But for now, since it is such a sensitive time, I haven't and won't....
But she does know of my wife's concern and is thankful for that. And yes, at first my wife did have some jealousy(sp?) issues, but now they are gone, now that she has talked with her and has written her. In fact, my friend Terry told me that she doesn't have any "girlfriends" to talk to during all of this, and so therefore, I have become her "girlfriend", because she shares so much with me. I told her; "No problem. Even though I once wanted to be your boyfriend so long ago, I'll be your "girlfriend" now...." Funny huh? But now, one of the other things my friend Terry is going through is that damnable "menopause thing" which I totally cannot relate to! And so, since my wife is going through it as well, they have been chatting up a storm over the subject, and so, I think I have found my friend Terry a more "proper girlfriend" than myself, for when it comes to that thing, I am from Mars! Yeah, that's a cool thing, and they have now become pretty close, with me not being able to spend as much time on the computer. But hey, whatever works, whatever helps, ya know?
Thanks for the update, JL! I'm sure she's tickled to have another woman to talk to, especially about those "womanly" things like mini vacations to the tropics and their inner children playing with fire. My mama tried to talk to me about such things, but seeing as how I'm only in my 30's, I may have well as been from Mars, too.
With the support of you and the Mrs. she will be feeling better quicker than those with only professional help. How wonderful I think you two are! My psychiatrist and therapist are wonderful, but it's my friends who really help me adjust and put into practice what I learn with the first two. :)
Please do let us know as she continues to get better!
Just for the record Belle, my friend Terry is having he 84 year old Dad over for TG Day, as well as her two sisters and their husbands. Her dad is actually a retired psychologist, and has willingly come out of retirement "for free" to help his daughter with therapy, and they are expecting to have a fine day of Thanks Giving Day this Thursday.
Today was a good day for her, and she is on the "upside" at the moment, at least, since I heard from her this morning. Seems like she is gravitating toward my wife now, which I think is fine and dandy...
I guess that damnable menopause thing is something they have really been relating to. What's up with alla that anyhoo? :-)
we've been having weather cold enough for frost, but I keep the heat at 65* at night and 68* in the day. My hubby and kids wear heavy clothing and coats, and complain of the heavy blankets they had to pull up around them when they sleep. When my hubby pulls the comforter up around him at night, he tries to cover me with it too, cuz I'm wearing summer pj's, and have only the sheet covering me, and I kick it off, cuz I'm so hot.
Well. I talked to her the day after Thanksgiving, and she had had a wonderful time with her Dad,two sisters, and one of the sister's husbands. They drank some wine, she didn't cry, and, she turned her family onto the smoked coho salmon I sent her. They all raved over it, and she was proud to have an "Alaskan friend" that sent her such delicacies...
Her divorce is proceeding, and, she GOT THE HOUSE, which is good. But of course, all this means is that she gets to keep on making the payments. But, any equity in it is hers also. The criminal trial date is still not set, but I would imagine that when this occurs, it will bring up all of the sordid details, and cause more heart ache and break.
She said she had to comfort Ally the other night because she woke up hearing Ally crying. And when she asked her what it was, it had been a dream about her step dad, and the things that he made her do. And so, even though Terry is moving along with Life, the Thing continues to rear its way ugly head from time to time...
But the wonderful thing is this: She is determined to move ahead and do everything in her power to not allow this sorry excuse for a human being to continue to wreck and ruin their lives. Plus, she has been very willing to accept my counsel as far as "how to ask God for help", and she has-according to her-seen wonderful results from praying to God about all of this. I only pray that I can be worth a .... when it comes to helping her in this manner....
I am not sure, but I think that this is the thrust of the way their analyst has been counseling them to handle it, to have the daughter talk about it with out worry, and "get it out". It's kinda weird though. What happens is this: They will be driving around, Christmas shopping, or walking in the Mall, and then all of a sudden, her daughter will start divulging all of these horrid and sordid details of what her step dad made her do, or what he did to her.
And of course, Terry, not wanting to Ally to feel ashamed and guilty for it (for it was not her fault), just listens as benignly as possible (while in her mind horrified), and tries to remember every detail so as to be able to write it down accurately for the sake of her prosecuting attorney. A couple of months ago, she started carrying a note pad in order to not miss any crucial details....
It must be so bizzare for her. And what is weird, is that the girl, at the age of fifteen, is way boy crazy! And so, I guess this thing with a man sexually abusing her has not stopped Ally from wanting to know about the life of "Men", and romance, and sex, and all of that. Maybe that's a good thing, that it has not detoured her, but bad also. And maybe, the experience with that man may have provided "pleasures" that she now misses? I don't know. That's a deep one, and I do not know how to approach it. Sex is very powerful, and it does have it's good feelings I mean, and orgasm is a powerful thing. But now, was it good or bad? Bad because of where it "came from", but should it be taught that the "good feeling of sex is bad"? Way heavy. I am hoping that it hasn't ruined sex for her in her future life, but is it possible that it sparked something in her that she hadn't known before, and now she "misses it"? The whole thing in my opinion is sooo devilish! For, she has been ripped off from experiencing that aspect of life in a manner that is not filled with confusion and FEAR. Sex is supposed to be wonderful, and clean, and good. But for those who have been through this, I fear that the ordeal "taints" one of the most beautiful things God ever did for us. Personally, I would like to find that mf and beat him senseless...
May God bless her and anyone else who has been in that situation!
I suppose that these ar things that will take lots of time to work through
Damn, CoolChef, you are soo persistent! You may just get me to do it!
And, thanks for the words of encouragement. Heard from her again this morning, and she has had a good day. Very busy for she is a nurse who does kidney dialysis for a whole string of patients, and many times her patients have problems at home with their own "self dialysis", and so at odd hours, she has to "go to the rescue", like last night. but, she's cheery about it in that she loves to help people...
Yeah, Johnny, preparing and going through the trial will be very traumatic. She will have to relive what happened and rehearse what facts she wants to emphasize, over and over. It is very tough to have to "live there," when what you want to do is go on with your life.
When something like that occurs the healing takes time. The best thing for them is getting the counseling/therapy. If they have a good therapist it speeds up the heeling time and can actually be mind/life saving. Sometimes people are in therapy for life and sometimes a person will have a relapse and need to go back into therapy. I'm sure Terry is dealing with guilt feelings. But, some of the incestors and pediphiles are smooth and you don't know until you catch them. The fact that the girl is challenged might make it different too.
They are lucky to have you for a friend and all of us can be praying for "Terry and Allison".
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Thanks A la prochaine,
And ya know, I just sent her a cd (that I finally made copies of) that has yours truly playing harmonica on it. And now, I really really wish I had taken Socks up on his offer to help me with a cd project that I wanted to do called "Bless Tones" which would have been sweet harmonica sounds on an instrumental only album that would feature nice tunes like In The Garden, His name Is Wonderful, and stuff like that with nice sweet "semi-jazzish" guyitar chords backing it up. I would bet something like that would really be a blessing to her, for she loves music, and she really loved my cd. The only really good track on it is of me playing harp on "Georgia On My Mind" which really came off nicely.
But, I lost touch with Mr. Socks, and even though he tried to stay in contact with me, I didn't with him. I kinda blew it...
But my friend really dug the harmonicas, and remembers when I first tried being cool with them back in high school and is glad that got better at it. And thank YOU for the compliment!
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
jlingo
how can i buy on of your cds?
it sounds great!
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J0nny Ling0
O geez, Cool Chef. I have mis-lead you. The deal is this: I played with a certain friend two years in a row during tourist season in Haines, Alaska, where the local clan of Tlingit Indians are known as being from the "Chilkat Clan". My friend and I played blues mostly, and he is an awesome keyboard player, and knows a million songs, or so it seems to me. His gig is a "one man band thing" with his keyboards. The bass and drums are added in somehow electronically, but his his vocals, at times guitar, and then me on harmonicas and back up vocals are Live when we play together. We had so much fun doing it, and everybody seems to love a harmonica (even a mediocre player like me!), and at the end of our second season, he offered to put some tracks down with his keyboard, bass sound, drums, vocals, and me stepping in and laying down the harmonica track. We did it in his cheap apartment, and he set his equipment up in his closet, where I stepped in and played to the background tracks, and then he burned a master cd of it for me, which I have finally made a mere five copies of. If my computer had a cd burner, I'd burn you one and send it right away. But, I don't even have that, and I have promised the others away already. But when I do get a new computer, which is on my list, I'll make a note of it here, and then we can talk about it, addresses and such. And, if I ever get back with Socks, and get my act together and if he is still willing to give me a hand, maybe I will come up with that "Bless Tones" project I mentioned, which no doubt would be way more professional than that which we "The Chill Cats" threw together. By the way, I came up with the name "The Chill Cats" to honor my Native friends, but didn't want to take their tribal name as it is correctly spelled out of respect for them. And so, it is sort of a "double entendre' which, my Native friends really dig and appreciate! Maybe this should be posted over on that thread that was designed to "attract Socks" in the "Open" forum.
Okay, back to the topic...
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Mike
Hi Jonny,
This is a very touching account. I feel very much for the woman you are helping, as I feel for many others in similar states of excruciating pain.
This following is set of a rhetorical questions. I feel comfortable to bet anything that your answers would be the loving, kind, and obvious ones. I'd also bet that most posters here, most of the time, would answer these questions similarly. I'm asking this for the sake of stimulating thought in others regarding a different situation that you had nothing to do with.
In your first post on this thread you wrote: "I listen to her (yes we talk on the phone now on Saturdays), and many times she cries, and at other times she writes in e-mails the latest thing Ally divulges, and how it hurts her angers her, and causes her to plot murder in her heart. I tell her that it doesn't sound like murder, only justice. She gets her anger out, and, I listen..."
Jonny, do you encourage her to think through and amplify such naturally occurring and understandable murder revenge plots? Or do you encourage her to do her best EVENTUALLY stop all of that kind thinking? I know your answers here are "no" and then "yes" respectively.
Jonny, would you think it's wrong for someone else to encourage her to visualize IN DETAIL such a murder plot? Again, I know your answer.
Jonny, would you think it a tragic mistake if someone else accidently or jokingly encouraged her to take such revenge? Of course not! Such an accident or joke would not be what she needs to hear at all and would hurt her.
Jonny, would you want to protect her from such accidents or jokes?
Thank you, Jonny, for allowing me to ask you these rhetorical questions. I know that she is in good hands when you talk to her. I want, like you, for her to find ways to calm down those stresses and eliminate those urges, and let God take proper vengeance on the culprit.
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J0nny Ling0
She wasn't literally plotting or planning a murder or or a "hit". She was only venting her frustration that he, until the trial is over, is still loose and driving around in his pick up as if nothing ever happened. It wa more like "I'd like to kill that sob for what he's done to my daughter and to our lives".
And, I know I'm a bit slow, but I'm not really sure of what you are getting at here Mike...
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Mike
Jonny,
I was attempting to make a point to other people about a different situation. Sorry if I befuddled you. You weren't involved in that other situation. It's all pretty subtle. I'm cheering you on in your efforts to help your friend. You're a great guy!
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rascal
JL, He is just using you AND this tragic situationin in an attempt to make an completely unrelated point for an entirely different thread....thus the *rehtorical* questions....
A new low for even him.
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Psalm 71 one
Jonny I've been following this, and want to tell you--I'm glad you are there for Terry--You are a wonderful friend. And I'm also glad your wife is involved, as you said. I know the challenges I would have if my hubby was helping someone in a similar situation--based on her story, I would believe he was genuinely helping her, but I still would deal with jelous thoughts. It's really good you've involved her!
Sounds like Terry is going through so much guilt-- and you can tell her she is NOT the guilty one, but it will take time for that to sink in--she has so much to sort through. I'm so sorry she and Allie have had to go through this-- and that the monster is still on the loose. It's easy to say time will heal, I will be praying for her-- and for you to have the best words of comfort--or the best ear at times!
God Bless you Jonny and Mrs Lingo!
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J0nny Ling0
Hey Psalmie and all the rest of you, thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers! I haven't told my friend Terry that I have mentioned this on a public forum (and I won't) even though the names have been changed to protect the innocent... But God Almighty knows of your prayers, and I am sure they will not fall on deaf ears! And so, thank you! Maybe at some time in the distant future I might tell her of my mentioning this amongst a bunch who cared for her and her situation. But for now, since it is such a sensitive time, I haven't and won't....
But she does know of my wife's concern and is thankful for that. And yes, at first my wife did have some jealousy(sp?) issues, but now they are gone, now that she has talked with her and has written her. In fact, my friend Terry told me that she doesn't have any "girlfriends" to talk to during all of this, and so therefore, I have become her "girlfriend", because she shares so much with me. I told her; "No problem. Even though I once wanted to be your boyfriend so long ago, I'll be your "girlfriend" now...." Funny huh? But now, one of the other things my friend Terry is going through is that damnable "menopause thing" which I totally cannot relate to! And so, since my wife is going through it as well, they have been chatting up a storm over the subject, and so, I think I have found my friend Terry a more "proper girlfriend" than myself, for when it comes to that thing, I am from Mars! Yeah, that's a cool thing, and they have now become pretty close, with me not being able to spend as much time on the computer. But hey, whatever works, whatever helps, ya know?
So, thanks all...
JL
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Belle
Thanks for the update, JL! I'm sure she's tickled to have another woman to talk to, especially about those "womanly" things like mini vacations to the tropics and their inner children playing with fire.
My mama tried to talk to me about such things, but seeing as how I'm only in my 30's, I may have well as been from Mars, too.
With the support of you and the Mrs. she will be feeling better quicker than those with only professional help. How wonderful I think you two are! My psychiatrist and therapist are wonderful, but it's my friends who really help me adjust and put into practice what I learn with the first two. :)
Please do let us know as she continues to get better!
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J0nny Ling0
Just for the record Belle, my friend Terry is having he 84 year old Dad over for TG Day, as well as her two sisters and their husbands. Her dad is actually a retired psychologist, and has willingly come out of retirement "for free" to help his daughter with therapy, and they are expecting to have a fine day of Thanks Giving Day this Thursday.
Today was a good day for her, and she is on the "upside" at the moment, at least, since I heard from her this morning. Seems like she is gravitating toward my wife now, which I think is fine and dandy...
I guess that damnable menopause thing is something they have really been relating to. What's up with alla that anyhoo? :-)
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Psalm 71 one
we've been having weather cold enough for frost, but I keep the heat at 65* at night and 68* in the day. My hubby and kids wear heavy clothing and coats, and complain of the heavy blankets they had to pull up around them when they sleep. When my hubby pulls the comforter up around him at night, he tries to cover me with it too, cuz I'm wearing summer pj's, and have only the sheet covering me, and I kick it off, cuz I'm so hot.
Now what were you asking 'bout Jonny?
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J0nny Ling0
Umm, yeah, that thing. Maybe this is one of those deals where God made a way for gals to continue to be "hot"?
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likeaneagle
wwwwwoooooaaaa!
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Kit Sober
In and out of years I have seen the Lord heal and know He can do it one more time.
Praying with you for your friend.
Another one glad they have you on their side,
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Digitalis
Checking back in at this site Johny and happy to know you are till in contact with Terry.
Praying for her recovery from this ordeal,
Digi
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J0nny Ling0
Well. I talked to her the day after Thanksgiving, and she had had a wonderful time with her Dad,two sisters, and one of the sister's husbands. They drank some wine, she didn't cry, and, she turned her family onto the smoked coho salmon I sent her. They all raved over it, and she was proud to have an "Alaskan friend" that sent her such delicacies...
Her divorce is proceeding, and, she GOT THE HOUSE, which is good. But of course, all this means is that she gets to keep on making the payments. But, any equity in it is hers also. The criminal trial date is still not set, but I would imagine that when this occurs, it will bring up all of the sordid details, and cause more heart ache and break.
She said she had to comfort Ally the other night because she woke up hearing Ally crying. And when she asked her what it was, it had been a dream about her step dad, and the things that he made her do. And so, even though Terry is moving along with Life, the Thing continues to rear its way ugly head from time to time...
But the wonderful thing is this: She is determined to move ahead and do everything in her power to not allow this sorry excuse for a human being to continue to wreck and ruin their lives. Plus, she has been very willing to accept my counsel as far as "how to ask God for help", and she has-according to her-seen wonderful results from praying to God about all of this. I only pray that I can be worth a .... when it comes to helping her in this manner....
But thank you Digi, and all of the rest of you...
JL
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excathedra
if you get a chance, tell your friend to let her dear daughter talk and talk and talk as much as she needs to.....
thanks
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J0nny Ling0
Yeah, thanks ExCath,
I am not sure, but I think that this is the thrust of the way their analyst has been counseling them to handle it, to have the daughter talk about it with out worry, and "get it out". It's kinda weird though. What happens is this: They will be driving around, Christmas shopping, or walking in the Mall, and then all of a sudden, her daughter will start divulging all of these horrid and sordid details of what her step dad made her do, or what he did to her.
And of course, Terry, not wanting to Ally to feel ashamed and guilty for it (for it was not her fault), just listens as benignly as possible (while in her mind horrified), and tries to remember every detail so as to be able to write it down accurately for the sake of her prosecuting attorney. A couple of months ago, she started carrying a note pad in order to not miss any crucial details....
It must be so bizzare for her. And what is weird, is that the girl, at the age of fifteen, is way boy crazy! And so, I guess this thing with a man sexually abusing her has not stopped Ally from wanting to know about the life of "Men", and romance, and sex, and all of that. Maybe that's a good thing, that it has not detoured her, but bad also. And maybe, the experience with that man may have provided "pleasures" that she now misses? I don't know. That's a deep one, and I do not know how to approach it. Sex is very powerful, and it does have it's good feelings I mean, and orgasm is a powerful thing. But now, was it good or bad? Bad because of where it "came from", but should it be taught that the "good feeling of sex is bad"? Way heavy. I am hoping that it hasn't ruined sex for her in her future life, but is it possible that it sparked something in her that she hadn't known before, and now she "misses it"? The whole thing in my opinion is sooo devilish! For, she has been ripped off from experiencing that aspect of life in a manner that is not filled with confusion and FEAR. Sex is supposed to be wonderful, and clean, and good. But for those who have been through this, I fear that the ordeal "taints" one of the most beautiful things God ever did for us. Personally, I would like to find that mf and beat him senseless...
May God bless her and anyone else who has been in that situation!
I suppose that these ar things that will take lots of time to work through
It's a deep one.....
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
thank you jl for taking care of that family
god bless ya hang in there and my prayers are hanging in there with you
did you say salmon
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J0nny Ling0
Damn, CoolChef, you are soo persistent! You may just get me to do it!
And, thanks for the words of encouragement. Heard from her again this morning, and she has had a good day. Very busy for she is a nurse who does kidney dialysis for a whole string of patients, and many times her patients have problems at home with their own "self dialysis", and so at odd hours, she has to "go to the rescue", like last night. but, she's cheery about it in that she loves to help people...
Pretty remarkable gal I think...
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
damn jl she sounds like some awesome lady!!! my dad did the dialasis thing
it killed him only because he was so old and he had to travel for treatment 3 times a week
i won;t even ask for SALMON this time!!
still in my prayers
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shazdancer
Yeah, Johnny, preparing and going through the trial will be very traumatic. She will have to relive what happened and rehearse what facts she wants to emphasize, over and over. It is very tough to have to "live there," when what you want to do is go on with your life.
Regards,
Shaz
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Edi
When something like that occurs the healing takes time. The best thing for them is getting the counseling/therapy. If they have a good therapist it speeds up the heeling time and can actually be mind/life saving. Sometimes people are in therapy for life and sometimes a person will have a relapse and need to go back into therapy. I'm sure Terry is dealing with guilt feelings. But, some of the incestors and pediphiles are smooth and you don't know until you catch them. The fact that the girl is challenged might make it different too.
They are lucky to have you for a friend and all of us can be praying for "Terry and Allison".
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