I was never close to my parents or siblings. Seemed we all fought too much.
There was too much bitterness, hate and no one could agree on anything.
Our home life was full of negativity, sorrow, and hopelessness.
Before my senior year my father became a Jehovah's witness, and that REALLY turned our home upside-down. My brother went into the Army only to go AWOL and get a dishonerable. My sister went in the Army too, left home and married. Leaving me alone.
My mother and I were told to 'join the JWs' or get the He** out!! So we did.
I move to Houston, and it was there I was given an invitation to my first TWIG.
It was the start of wonderful things for my life. With PFAL, and "Life is Tremendous", some wonderful loving friendships, and an adventure called WOW, then Fellowlaborers I learned to LOVE myself regardless of what my 'family' thought of me. I also learned to 'forgive'.
Althought I did not learn to 'forget', I did learn to be happier, and to love more honestly and openly.
I discovered others loved me too. I would say through the years since I've left TWI (and not of my own free will), I discovered I could stand with God anywhere, and it didn't need to be with TWI, that God n Christ were in ME. My father didn't have anything to do with me for 12 yrs - then he re-entered my life, and somehow in his death, we made our peace. My mother has learned to love me because I love her 'unconditionally' and It quit bothering me that 'I was her mistake'. She and I have a better relationship, and that started to grow when I was in TWI. I shared with her - showed her who I had become in Christ, and that was enough for her to know, I was not going to accept anything from her but Love. My sister and I are closer., too. I have to say that my brother and I will NEVER be close. I gave him endless chances to 'change', but he is a dangerous person whom I can not allow near my children again.
So I have TWI to thank for giving me 'self direction and more self worth'. Actually it was what I learned, processed, and took action on that gave me mental sanity and saved me from the gloom that existed in my family life. I was like a butterfly who finally came out of a cacoon. I'm still learning and growing with God on a daily basis. But TWI helped take me places. I saw new States, and made many friends. Those things I do NOT regret.
I was close to my parents as a child and young woman. They didn't particularly care for the way, but they loved my husband.
From the mid eighties to the mid ninties I went through periods where I didn't see them much because we lived so far apart and were so busy, but we called alot.
In the mid nineties when things started to get ultra weird in the Way, I deliberatly decided to get closer--more visits, phone calls etc. We got some flack from leadership about visits, especially at Christmas time.
We didn't talk about the Way, nor did I witness to them after the initial period after taking PFAL. They were totally uninterested in PFAL or twig.
Soon after we left TWI we moved closer to my parents and sister, which was really healing for us, since they had a clue about love, family, taking care of each other, giving loved ones some space, celebrating good times together--the kind of stuff that makes life worth living. We have never told my family members much about our Way involvement--I think they think it was just a church we lost interest in.
Both my parents are gone now, both died shortly after their 52nd anniversary. My sister and one brother and I are very close, we share the care of my oldest brother who is mentally ill.
I am very close with my Father and my siblings. My mother died while i was out WOW
I had rocky teen years and then got involved with TWI in my early 20's. Despite all their BS about 'developing more harmony in the home', they couldn't wait to drive the wedge further between us.
They were all 'rank unbelievers' after all, and I was discouraged from keeping in contact with them. Throughout my involvement my family remained gracious although I was far out in left field.
After I left it still took me a few years to undo my wayhead and come around to the people who had always been there through thick and thin.
As alot of you know, hubby and I moved back to my hometown after being gone for 15 years. Thru all those 15 years, however, I ALWAYS came home for holidays and family gatherings. (When I moved to SC, I had been with a trucking company for over 11 years, so I had seniority, vacation, and holidays. ) But with my parents getting older, I wanted to be HOME. I have enjoyed this last year IMMENSELY. I have spent time with each parent (divorced after 37 years!!) and my family.
In fact, just this week, I saw my 10-yr old niece play basketball (they won 26-24), then cheerlead for the boys game. Two days later, I went to my 11-yr old grandnephew's game... they won 52-12.
Yesterday, my mom and I went to Evansville. Shopped at a few stores, then went to Briar & Bean for a cafe' moccha, yum, then shopped more, then ate a sandwich at Panera's, yum, then shopped more before we came home. What a wonderful day we had, and beautiful weather.
And last Saturday, we celebrated my grandnephew's FIRST birthday. I just love being with my family and spending time with my friends.
I am so thankful to my heavenly Father for answering my prayer to sell our business so I can be in the great state of the Kentucky Wildcats and the Louisville Cardinals.... go CATS..... go CARDS!!!!
JTC57 my experiance is much like yours. Now that my parents are past I'm closer to my sibs because all the chaos and confusion is gone from our lives. TWI and teachings never entered my family dynamic. When I left home to go WoW I never looked back. I did get resolve at the end of there lives. It was what I needed to move on emotionally and it came from them and not forgivness on my part. I now know my sisters as adults and global citizens instead of sib just trying to survive. It"s so nice to finally have a relationship with family even though parents are not included.
My mom died before I got into TWI but I maintained a relationship with my father all throughout the cult years. He was always suspicious of the way but didn't lecture... We left in 86 and moved back to my hometown and he just breathed a big sigh of relief that we finally bailed from that cult. He died last fall. I am so thankful my kids got to be part of his life and that I was able to be there for him.
Both of my parents have been gone for several years. We had our close moments and our difficulties. I don't think my involvement in The Way made any real difference.
I had very little contact with my family during my twi years....I mean after all, they were rank unbelievers...spiritual empties ... Don`tcha know?
I missed weddings and funerals, births, family vacation for almost 15 years of making memories and growing together....
It has taken several years to catch up and become reconnected..........
I LOVE being close to home now.... spending holidays together...our children growing up close.... Lunch with my mother or sisters.....fishing trips with my brother....family vacations at the lake....
We talk on the phone, bail each other out of messes, laugh together. cry together.... I am so glad to be with my family....
I do not think that I would recognize or apreciate the value of these things had I not gone so many years without them.
One thing I know...they will never abandon me like the psuedo family and friends that abandoned us when we were no longer involved in twi.
I'm closer with my family, but we are trying to move closer to my mom and dad. My sister and her husband are trying to also. My mom still has a major case of waybrain even thought it's been 20 years since she's been out of twi. Sometimes I have to really hold my tongue because of her way with twi-isms. It makes me ill some times. When she says "I'm believing for...." I always ask her how she's going to believe it in to action, especially when it has something to do with someone's freedom of will (I'm talking about my brother is has constantly been in trouble in his life).
But my mom is 60 and my dad is 68. I want to spend time around them before they get too old to enjoy it. I don't want to go through life with regrets about not spending enough time with my family. I was away from them too long while I stayed in twi..
My sister and I are really close. She was waiting for me to leave twi, and she was not judgmental of me when I was still in. I think that left a door wide open for me to seek her when I was ready to leave. Thanks sis! I love you!
I was with TWI for over 20 years. Early on my parents attempted deprogramming. I did escape after 3 weeks by the grace of God, but didn't have much to do with family after that. Lo and behold, when finally kicked out of TWI, my family graciously accepted me back, just glad I was out. In the meantime I missed the deaths of my grandparents, the growing up of my nieces and nephews, etc.
We have a great relationship now...my Dad at 78 just underwent surgery for cancer. We looked it up on the net and it had a 92% chance of being successfully operated on. So for the time I was home, a couple weeks before his surgery, everyday I'd just touch my father and tell him, "92%, Dad." After surgery I was on the phone with him and told him I loved him, and he said it back, for the first time! I could still cry thinking about it.
It's a two-sided thing. I missed alot shutting my family out for all those years, but I wouldn't have been able to be so open to hug them and tell them I love them without learning that in TWI.
I would love to move closer to home and spend more time with them, and my whole family (6 sibs) would love it, also.
I have always been close with my family. Even though they saw through the twi crap they always supported me in my descision. They were a big help and support when my ex went off of her rocker. They call or I call them at least once a week.
They just celbrated 59 years of marriage. I am going to take the kids out of school for their 60th and fly back for the celebration.
Tomorrow is my nephew's 16th birthday, and we are having a big family doo to celebrate. All uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents will be in attendance. Life doesn't get much better than this. Having one's whole family gathered for an occasion other than a funeral is a big accomplishment I think. :D
I'm so glad that the way brought us together instead of splitting us apart.
A year ago my eldest sister (Judy) passed away. As soon as we were told, we packed up and flew out immediately.
When we got to California, I called and was told that Judy's husband and daughters did not want any visitors, that they would be making all arrangements for the funeral and that they would notify us of when it would be happening.
My mother was glad to see us, but she was in histeria and not able to visit with her grand-children. So we went up into the mountains and stayed in her cabin.
I called each of my brothers, but they were each too busy to talk, or to allow us to come and visit with them.
We sat in the cabin for a few days, until we finally were called with the date and time of the funeral. I called each of my brothers, and found that none of them had even considered taking the time off from work to attend their sister's funeral. They all live within a 40 mile radius. After a two days, I was finally able to convince each brother to attend, but on the condition that should anyone see my bio-father, then everyone could scatter. They really dont like my father.
We attended the funeral, and our children had the opportunity of meeting each of their aunts and uncles. It was a big church funeral, in the church where I had grown up. Afterwards the church had a BIG dinner, and they invited all church members to attend. Judy had always been a very active leader in church politics and her husband is a deacon in that church. Both of their daughters attend that church, neither of them have ever dated a boy, as their father is very intimidating and would not allow it to happen. The daughters played piano and organ for the funeral, and it was very nice. One neice has a law degree from UC Davis, the other is studying medicine; they both live at home and are in their 30s, they are very active in church life. My mother was the only one who could not hold it together.
After the funeral we all drove to the cemetary and did a grave-side service. then the church members went back to the church for their dinner. None of the rest of us family-members are church members anymore so we all scattered, and I flew back to the East coast the following morning.
I wish that we would have had to opportunity to sit down with and visit with my brothers, they each have wives and children, and I think that some of my nephews are even married, so it would have been good to visit with their wives and children as well. It would also have been nice to visit with Judy's family.
But suhc is not how a big family seems to function.
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jetc57
I have had a bit different experience.
I was never close to my parents or siblings. Seemed we all fought too much.
There was too much bitterness, hate and no one could agree on anything.
Our home life was full of negativity, sorrow, and hopelessness.
Before my senior year my father became a Jehovah's witness, and that REALLY turned our home upside-down. My brother went into the Army only to go AWOL and get a dishonerable. My sister went in the Army too, left home and married. Leaving me alone.
My mother and I were told to 'join the JWs' or get the He** out!! So we did.
I move to Houston, and it was there I was given an invitation to my first TWIG.
It was the start of wonderful things for my life. With PFAL, and "Life is Tremendous", some wonderful loving friendships, and an adventure called WOW, then Fellowlaborers I learned to LOVE myself regardless of what my 'family' thought of me. I also learned to 'forgive'.
Althought I did not learn to 'forget', I did learn to be happier, and to love more honestly and openly.
I discovered others loved me too. I would say through the years since I've left TWI (and not of my own free will), I discovered I could stand with God anywhere, and it didn't need to be with TWI, that God n Christ were in ME. My father didn't have anything to do with me for 12 yrs - then he re-entered my life, and somehow in his death, we made our peace. My mother has learned to love me because I love her 'unconditionally' and It quit bothering me that 'I was her mistake'. She and I have a better relationship, and that started to grow when I was in TWI. I shared with her - showed her who I had become in Christ, and that was enough for her to know, I was not going to accept anything from her but Love. My sister and I are closer., too. I have to say that my brother and I will NEVER be close. I gave him endless chances to 'change', but he is a dangerous person whom I can not allow near my children again.
So I have TWI to thank for giving me 'self direction and more self worth'. Actually it was what I learned, processed, and took action on that gave me mental sanity and saved me from the gloom that existed in my family life. I was like a butterfly who finally came out of a cacoon. I'm still learning and growing with God on a daily basis. But TWI helped take me places. I saw new States, and made many friends. Those things I do NOT regret.
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year2027
God first
Beloved ex10
God loves you and your parents
I have all ways been close even when on the run from the law and under the law of the Way
with love and a holy kiss blowing your way Roy
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Bramble
I was close to my parents as a child and young woman. They didn't particularly care for the way, but they loved my husband.
From the mid eighties to the mid ninties I went through periods where I didn't see them much because we lived so far apart and were so busy, but we called alot.
In the mid nineties when things started to get ultra weird in the Way, I deliberatly decided to get closer--more visits, phone calls etc. We got some flack from leadership about visits, especially at Christmas time.
We didn't talk about the Way, nor did I witness to them after the initial period after taking PFAL. They were totally uninterested in PFAL or twig.
Soon after we left TWI we moved closer to my parents and sister, which was really healing for us, since they had a clue about love, family, taking care of each other, giving loved ones some space, celebrating good times together--the kind of stuff that makes life worth living. We have never told my family members much about our Way involvement--I think they think it was just a church we lost interest in.
Both my parents are gone now, both died shortly after their 52nd anniversary. My sister and one brother and I are very close, we share the care of my oldest brother who is mentally ill.
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mstar1
I am very close with my Father and my siblings. My mother died while i was out WOW
I had rocky teen years and then got involved with TWI in my early 20's. Despite all their BS about 'developing more harmony in the home', they couldn't wait to drive the wedge further between us.
They were all 'rank unbelievers' after all, and I was discouraged from keeping in contact with them. Throughout my involvement my family remained gracious although I was far out in left field.
After I left it still took me a few years to undo my wayhead and come around to the people who had always been there through thick and thin.
We are all very close now,
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act2
As alot of you know, hubby and I moved back to my hometown after being gone for 15 years. Thru all those 15 years, however, I ALWAYS came home for holidays and family gatherings. (When I moved to SC, I had been with a trucking company for over 11 years, so I had seniority, vacation, and holidays. ) But with my parents getting older, I wanted to be HOME. I have enjoyed this last year IMMENSELY. I have spent time with each parent (divorced after 37 years!!) and my family.
In fact, just this week, I saw my 10-yr old niece play basketball (they won 26-24), then cheerlead for the boys game. Two days later, I went to my 11-yr old grandnephew's game... they won 52-12.
Yesterday, my mom and I went to Evansville. Shopped at a few stores, then went to Briar & Bean for a cafe' moccha, yum, then shopped more, then ate a sandwich at Panera's, yum, then shopped more before we came home. What a wonderful day we had, and beautiful weather.
And last Saturday, we celebrated my grandnephew's FIRST birthday. I just love being with my family and spending time with my friends.
I am so thankful to my heavenly Father for answering my prayer to sell our business so I can be in the great state of the Kentucky Wildcats and the Louisville Cardinals.... go CATS..... go CARDS!!!!
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lilbit
JTC57 my experiance is much like yours. Now that my parents are past I'm closer to my sibs because all the chaos and confusion is gone from our lives. TWI and teachings never entered my family dynamic. When I left home to go WoW I never looked back. I did get resolve at the end of there lives. It was what I needed to move on emotionally and it came from them and not forgivness on my part. I now know my sisters as adults and global citizens instead of sib just trying to survive. It"s so nice to finally have a relationship with family even though parents are not included.
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tonto
My mom died before I got into TWI but I maintained a relationship with my father all throughout the cult years. He was always suspicious of the way but didn't lecture... We left in 86 and moved back to my hometown and he just breathed a big sigh of relief that we finally bailed from that cult. He died last fall. I am so thankful my kids got to be part of his life and that I was able to be there for him.
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GeorgeStGeorge
Both of my parents have been gone for several years. We had our close moments and our difficulties. I don't think my involvement in The Way made any real difference.
George
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rascal
I had very little contact with my family during my twi years....I mean after all, they were rank unbelievers...spiritual empties ... Don`tcha know?
I missed weddings and funerals, births, family vacation for almost 15 years of making memories and growing together....
It has taken several years to catch up and become reconnected..........
I LOVE being close to home now.... spending holidays together...our children growing up close.... Lunch with my mother or sisters.....fishing trips with my brother....family vacations at the lake....
We talk on the phone, bail each other out of messes, laugh together. cry together.... I am so glad to be with my family....
I do not think that I would recognize or apreciate the value of these things had I not gone so many years without them.
One thing I know...they will never abandon me like the psuedo family and friends that abandoned us when we were no longer involved in twi.
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Nottawayfer
I'm closer with my family, but we are trying to move closer to my mom and dad. My sister and her husband are trying to also. My mom still has a major case of waybrain even thought it's been 20 years since she's been out of twi. Sometimes I have to really hold my tongue because of her way with twi-isms. It makes me ill some times. When she says "I'm believing for...." I always ask her how she's going to believe it in to action, especially when it has something to do with someone's freedom of will (I'm talking about my brother is has constantly been in trouble in his life).
But my mom is 60 and my dad is 68. I want to spend time around them before they get too old to enjoy it. I don't want to go through life with regrets about not spending enough time with my family. I was away from them too long while I stayed in twi..
My sister and I are really close. She was waiting for me to leave twi, and she was not judgmental of me when I was still in. I think that left a door wide open for me to seek her when I was ready to leave. Thanks sis! I love you!
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
my dad died 6 years ago tommorow
he was my best friend
he was burried 4 days later which would have been his 82 birthaday
he had a great life so i should not grieve but i still do
mom is alive and doing great for her age
i only let twi come between us for a very shot time
my folks were more important to me
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Peaches and Buttons
I was with TWI for over 20 years. Early on my parents attempted deprogramming. I did escape after 3 weeks by the grace of God, but didn't have much to do with family after that. Lo and behold, when finally kicked out of TWI, my family graciously accepted me back, just glad I was out. In the meantime I missed the deaths of my grandparents, the growing up of my nieces and nephews, etc.
We have a great relationship now...my Dad at 78 just underwent surgery for cancer. We looked it up on the net and it had a 92% chance of being successfully operated on. So for the time I was home, a couple weeks before his surgery, everyday I'd just touch my father and tell him, "92%, Dad." After surgery I was on the phone with him and told him I loved him, and he said it back, for the first time! I could still cry thinking about it.
It's a two-sided thing. I missed alot shutting my family out for all those years, but I wouldn't have been able to be so open to hug them and tell them I love them without learning that in TWI.
I would love to move closer to home and spend more time with them, and my whole family (6 sibs) would love it, also.
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
peaches
why can't you move back?? family is important!! i wish you well
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Galen
We are about 3000 miles away from my mother.
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dek52
I have always been close with my family. Even though they saw through the twi crap they always supported me in my descision. They were a big help and support when my ex went off of her rocker. They call or I call them at least once a week.
They just celbrated 59 years of marriage. I am going to take the kids out of school for their 60th and fly back for the celebration.
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ex10
Tomorrow is my nephew's 16th birthday, and we are having a big family doo to celebrate. All uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents will be in attendance. Life doesn't get much better than this. Having one's whole family gathered for an occasion other than a funeral is a big accomplishment I think. :D
I'm so glad that the way brought us together instead of splitting us apart.
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Galen
A year ago my eldest sister (Judy) passed away. As soon as we were told, we packed up and flew out immediately.
When we got to California, I called and was told that Judy's husband and daughters did not want any visitors, that they would be making all arrangements for the funeral and that they would notify us of when it would be happening.
My mother was glad to see us, but she was in histeria and not able to visit with her grand-children. So we went up into the mountains and stayed in her cabin.
I called each of my brothers, but they were each too busy to talk, or to allow us to come and visit with them.
We sat in the cabin for a few days, until we finally were called with the date and time of the funeral. I called each of my brothers, and found that none of them had even considered taking the time off from work to attend their sister's funeral. They all live within a 40 mile radius. After a two days, I was finally able to convince each brother to attend, but on the condition that should anyone see my bio-father, then everyone could scatter. They really dont like my father.
We attended the funeral, and our children had the opportunity of meeting each of their aunts and uncles. It was a big church funeral, in the church where I had grown up. Afterwards the church had a BIG dinner, and they invited all church members to attend. Judy had always been a very active leader in church politics and her husband is a deacon in that church. Both of their daughters attend that church, neither of them have ever dated a boy, as their father is very intimidating and would not allow it to happen. The daughters played piano and organ for the funeral, and it was very nice. One neice has a law degree from UC Davis, the other is studying medicine; they both live at home and are in their 30s, they are very active in church life. My mother was the only one who could not hold it together.
After the funeral we all drove to the cemetary and did a grave-side service. then the church members went back to the church for their dinner. None of the rest of us family-members are church members anymore so we all scattered, and I flew back to the East coast the following morning.
I wish that we would have had to opportunity to sit down with and visit with my brothers, they each have wives and children, and I think that some of my nephews are even married, so it would have been good to visit with their wives and children as well. It would also have been nice to visit with Judy's family.
But suhc is not how a big family seems to function.
:)
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Zshot
I am still close to my family. They were always supportive (even when they did not appove. For example being in twi and going wow).
I talk to my Mom almost every week...
I travel back to Salt Lake City for a visit every year (usually around Thanksgiving). In fack I will be going back next week.
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