Now I don't feel so bad, cause I was the only one here that was a candidate. Knowing that I would have to bring everything in from the lanai, I watered all the plants in there Saturday.
My next-door neighbors are a quick-tempered bunch. One night I was sitting next to the open window reading a book. First I hear a car tire "burnout" and almost immediately a crash. Next I hear car doors slamming and a plethora of swearing. I can't resist going outside to see what happend. They had set their 2 garbage cans in the driveway for morning pickup then proceeded to run over them at high speed when they pulled out of the garage without looking. Garbage was wedged all under the vehicle and they were swearing at and blaming each other for the mess.
Shell....bell put the garbage out BEFORE a hurricane was due to hit....the wood she just placed on her windows was to protect them from flying projectiles....which is EXACTLY what her garbage would have become.....lol
Bell you are funny.....but that is small potatoes compared to a major league dork such as myself....there are so many stories ...so little time to share....a few that come to mind though...
When attemptiong to leave on vacation....van all ready packed....children loaded.... 2 german shepherds AND my mother....I notice on my way to the vehicle a hay fork left lying on the ground.....thinking wisely to myself....I`d better move that before someone falls on it and gets hurt.....while bending down to pick up the fork, I stumbled, and scewered my foot ..... stead of vacation we spent the next four hours at the dr.s office ...lol
While attempting to tighten the girth on a saddle once...I placed the steal wrapped stirrup over the saddle horn...leaned in gave a mighty jerk on the saddle....only to have the stirrup pop loose...fly around and smash me in the back of my head....cracking my silly skull....course I was a few miles from home...alone in a remote area....you cannot sit n cry....you have to suck it up crawl on your horse n make your way home as best as possible....
We dion`t EVEN want to talk about the time I attempted to teach my 5 yr old how to drive a 4 wheeler.....it ended up being very painfull for me......
"Shell....bell put the garbage out BEFORE a hurricane was due to hit....the wood she just placed on her windows was to protect them from flying projectiles....which is EXACTLY what her garbage would have become"
ummmmmm ok, must be one of those things like grunchy stores that I don't understand either.
Picture what each little piece of trash....each can ....each bottle would do in the approaching 120 mph wind that would have picked up her trash and distributed throughout the city ...as I don`t think there is garbage pick up during hurricanes.
Bell showed great presence of mind and much effort to protect her windows with wooden boards...but then had a brain fart and placed a hundred potentially destructive projectiles out right in front of her house simply out of habit for the garbage men who wouldn`t be there in the morning anyway because of the aproaching storm........lol
Funny Bell....you must have been tired gal.
How are you and the pup today? How did your home weather the storm?
What a beautiful day this turned out to be! I have the windows open, sweatpants and a t-shirt on. It's the PERFECT temperature and the breeze is blowing so nice, but not too much. I have all the windows open and it smells so clean outside!
I've also been working on reports at my computer all day. Pity I couldn't be out enjoying the beautiful day.... Oh well, I was supposed to be cooped up in an office with no windows all day - so it could be worse. B)
Shellon, Rascal explained it as well as I could. I should never have put the trash out. If the wind had gotten really ugly, my garbage would have been dangerous projectiles.....dangerous projectiles I had already spent time trying to protect my house from.... but if you have to explain it, then it loses the humor... Sorry I'm so weird. Maybe I should just be dork of the year for that reason alone. :huh:
I hope Raf, Moony and our Southern buddies are alright!
Once upon a not too long ago my wife was in her office during a power outage. Her eyes were drying out from her contacts so she reached up on her shelf for some Vising eye drops. Guaging by feel she thought she grabbed her little bottle of Vising. It ended up being super glue instead of Vising.
Yes, very painful, but...
Did you know that human tears are a natural solvent for super glue? The poison control center told us that so obviously my wife wasn't the first person ever to put super glue in her eyes.
Anyway, she lost her contact but not her eyesight.
I had a dork moment earlier this deployment. I was using a pressure sprayer to clean off our vehicle from a week's worth of dust accumulation. My hands got dirty so I used the sprayer to rinse off my hands. I lacerated my hand something fierce, but I didn't require stitches. I doubt that I will ever repeat that mistake.
Picture what each little piece of trash....each can ....each bottle would do in the approaching 120 mph wind that would have picked up her trash and distributed throughout the city ...as I don`t think there is garbage pick up during hurricanes.
Guys, my car windshield got taken out by a palm frond. Yeah, putting out the garbage for collection is... funny. Not "dork of the year" funny, but funny.
Dork of the year has to go to the guy who was arrested for armed robbery, including shooting a clerk. Police were interrogating him and told him they had a test to show if he had fired a gun. Then they left him alone, but videotaped him. The guy started licking his hands frantically, then (true story) his some of the money he had stolen. Where did he hide it? Umm, well, the sun doesn't shine there, and let's leave it at that.
Doctors found $40. No one wants to remove it from the evidence bag during trial, though. :)
ok, ok ...if y`all PROMISE not to tell Guest spouse that I told you this one.....(looking furtively around to make sure that I am alone)
In our early years of marriage, spouse was very bad about grabbing my freshly poured drink and sucking most of it down without asking....leaving me with an empty glass.
Well, one day during my first pregnancy....I had to take a urine sample first thing in the morning to take to the dr.s office later that afternoon....well the little bottle is entirely too small so of course I used an old juice glass, and placed it on the counter beside me...the contents of which were to be transferred to the specimen jar when I had finished my business.....at that very moment...... spouse breezed in grabbed what he thought was my apple juice and bolted it down!!!!!
All I could do was gaze at him ....WAY too horrified to say a word....and then WORSE when he exploded in outrage....ALL I could do...as upset as I was was laugh hysterically...I profusely apologised over and over again ...horrified at what I had done...but somehow in between gasps for breath between the peels of my laughter, he didn`t believe me.....it was a DARN good thing I was still sittin cause I`d a wet myself for sure.....
That was the last time I ever remember touching a drink of mine
Lucy and I packed up the vehilcles for our escape from "Rita" and headed out. We came back four days later, and nothing was awry. A couple days afterward, one of the local deputies came by and told us that next time we evacuate, please close the garage!!! :lol: :blink: :lol:
The deputy had been kind enough to close our garage AND LOCK OUR BACK DOOR!!! :o
Naw. no lasting effects whatsoever, other than a new healthy respect from spouse for my personal drinks/food etc ...lol
Honest to GAWD I was heart pounding sick to my stomache horrified, good little wafer wife that I was at the time...(and NO, he wouldn`t let me call poison control) .....BUT I discovered for the FIRST time ever ....that when I get extremely nervous or scared.....so help me .... I get a fit of the giggles (it happened on my last karate exam too)
My profuse apologies and pleas for forgiveness somehow lacked sincerity when offered between the peals of laughter :(
Belle, I guess it was a good thing I save this story for AFTER the weenie roast eh?
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Brother Speed
Sorry Belle,
Momentary lapses in rational thought processes do not qualify you to be anything more that Dork of the Moment.
But you can marry someone who also has an income but no chillins and you can be a Dink.
d - double
i - income
n - no
k - kids
:lol: :lol:
My wife and I are dinks. Therefore our pets are our chillins.
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moony3424
Belle
Now I don't feel so bad, cause I was the only one here that was a candidate. Knowing that I would have to bring everything in from the lanai, I watered all the plants in there Saturday.
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Shellon
Then I get the dork title cuz I don't understand what you did.
You took the garbage out or not?
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Jim
Not nearly bad enough for dork of the year...
My next-door neighbors are a quick-tempered bunch. One night I was sitting next to the open window reading a book. First I hear a car tire "burnout" and almost immediately a crash. Next I hear car doors slamming and a plethora of swearing. I can't resist going outside to see what happend. They had set their 2 garbage cans in the driveway for morning pickup then proceeded to run over them at high speed when they pulled out of the garage without looking. Garbage was wedged all under the vehicle and they were swearing at and blaming each other for the mess.
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moony3424
Ok. They win.
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rascal
Shell....bell put the garbage out BEFORE a hurricane was due to hit....the wood she just placed on her windows was to protect them from flying projectiles....which is EXACTLY what her garbage would have become.....lol
Bell you are funny.....but that is small potatoes compared to a major league dork such as myself....there are so many stories ...so little time to share....a few that come to mind though...
When attemptiong to leave on vacation....van all ready packed....children loaded.... 2 german shepherds AND my mother....I notice on my way to the vehicle a hay fork left lying on the ground.....thinking wisely to myself....I`d better move that before someone falls on it and gets hurt.....while bending down to pick up the fork, I stumbled, and scewered my foot ..... stead of vacation we spent the next four hours at the dr.s office ...lol
While attempting to tighten the girth on a saddle once...I placed the steal wrapped stirrup over the saddle horn...leaned in gave a mighty jerk on the saddle....only to have the stirrup pop loose...fly around and smash me in the back of my head....cracking my silly skull....course I was a few miles from home...alone in a remote area....you cannot sit n cry....you have to suck it up crawl on your horse n make your way home as best as possible....
We dion`t EVEN want to talk about the time I attempted to teach my 5 yr old how to drive a 4 wheeler.....it ended up being very painfull for me......
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Shellon
"Shell....bell put the garbage out BEFORE a hurricane was due to hit....the wood she just placed on her windows was to protect them from flying projectiles....which is EXACTLY what her garbage would have become"
ummmmmm ok, must be one of those things like grunchy stores that I don't understand either.
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rascal
Picture what each little piece of trash....each can ....each bottle would do in the approaching 120 mph wind that would have picked up her trash and distributed throughout the city ...as I don`t think there is garbage pick up during hurricanes.
Bell showed great presence of mind and much effort to protect her windows with wooden boards...but then had a brain fart and placed a hundred potentially destructive projectiles out right in front of her house simply out of habit for the garbage men who wouldn`t be there in the morning anyway because of the aproaching storm........lol
Funny Bell....you must have been tired gal.
How are you and the pup today? How did your home weather the storm?
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Belle
What a beautiful day this turned out to be! I have the windows open, sweatpants and a t-shirt on. It's the PERFECT temperature and the breeze is blowing so nice, but not too much. I have all the windows open and it smells so clean outside!
I've also been working on reports at my computer all day. Pity I couldn't be out enjoying the beautiful day.... Oh well, I was supposed to be cooped up in an office with no windows all day - so it could be worse. B)
Shellon, Rascal explained it as well as I could. I should never have put the trash out. If the wind had gotten really ugly, my garbage would have been dangerous projectiles.....dangerous projectiles I had already spent time trying to protect my house from.... but if you have to explain it, then it loses the humor... Sorry I'm so weird. Maybe I should just be dork of the year for that reason alone. :huh:
I hope Raf, Moony and our Southern buddies are alright!
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washingtonweather
Aw Belle, your not a Dork...try student teaching with First Graders...I have had a few dork moments.
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Brother Speed
Once upon a not too long ago my wife was in her office during a power outage. Her eyes were drying out from her contacts so she reached up on her shelf for some Vising eye drops. Guaging by feel she thought she grabbed her little bottle of Vising. It ended up being super glue instead of Vising.
Yes, very painful, but...
Did you know that human tears are a natural solvent for super glue? The poison control center told us that so obviously my wife wasn't the first person ever to put super glue in her eyes.
Anyway, she lost her contact but not her eyesight.
I had a dork moment earlier this deployment. I was using a pressure sprayer to clean off our vehicle from a week's worth of dust accumulation. My hands got dirty so I used the sprayer to rinse off my hands. I lacerated my hand something fierce, but I didn't require stitches. I doubt that I will ever repeat that mistake.
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Raf
Guys, my car windshield got taken out by a palm frond. Yeah, putting out the garbage for collection is... funny. Not "dork of the year" funny, but funny.
Dork of the year has to go to the guy who was arrested for armed robbery, including shooting a clerk. Police were interrogating him and told him they had a test to show if he had fired a gun. Then they left him alone, but videotaped him. The guy started licking his hands frantically, then (true story) his some of the money he had stolen. Where did he hide it? Umm, well, the sun doesn't shine there, and let's leave it at that.
Doctors found $40. No one wants to remove it from the evidence bag during trial, though. :)
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ChasUFarley
Belle -
At least you didn't leave your windows OPEN -
now THAT would have landed you a winning qualification
as DOTY! (Dork Of The Year)
:D
But I'd still love you!
Raf...
Did he have the "safety" on?
(Sorry... couldn't resist....)
(BTW - is that really your pic?)
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Raf
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moony3424
Raf
That ratemyprofessor.com is a great site. I use it all the time to pick which professors I want to take each semester.
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rascal
ok, ok ...if y`all PROMISE not to tell Guest spouse that I told you this one.....(looking furtively around to make sure that I am alone)
In our early years of marriage, spouse was very bad about grabbing my freshly poured drink and sucking most of it down without asking....leaving me with an empty glass.
Well, one day during my first pregnancy....I had to take a urine sample first thing in the morning to take to the dr.s office later that afternoon....well the little bottle is entirely too small so of course I used an old juice glass, and placed it on the counter beside me...the contents of which were to be transferred to the specimen jar when I had finished my business.....at that very moment...... spouse breezed in grabbed what he thought was my apple juice and bolted it down!!!!!
All I could do was gaze at him ....WAY too horrified to say a word....and then WORSE when he exploded in outrage....ALL I could do...as upset as I was was laugh hysterically...I profusely apologised over and over again ...horrified at what I had done...but somehow in between gasps for breath between the peels of my laughter, he didn`t believe me.....it was a DARN good thing I was still sittin cause I`d a wet myself for sure.....
That was the last time I ever remember touching a drink of mine
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GeorgeStGeorge
Lucy and I packed up the vehilcles for our escape from "Rita" and headed out. We came back four days later, and nothing was awry. A couple days afterward, one of the local deputies came by and told us that next time we evacuate, please close the garage!!! :lol: :blink: :lol:
The deputy had been kind enough to close our garage AND LOCK OUR BACK DOOR!!! :o
Dorks a-plenty when there's a hurricane brewing!
George
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Raf
Rascal,
That's a winner!
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Lifted Up
He suffered no ill effects, I assume...
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Belle
ROFLMAO!!! Rascal that really takes the cake!!! (no drinks, though, please) :P
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rascal
Naw. no lasting effects whatsoever, other than a new healthy respect from spouse for my personal drinks/food etc ...lol
Honest to GAWD I was heart pounding sick to my stomache horrified, good little wafer wife that I was at the time...(and NO, he wouldn`t let me call poison control) .....BUT I discovered for the FIRST time ever ....that when I get extremely nervous or scared.....so help me .... I get a fit of the giggles (it happened on my last karate exam too)
My profuse apologies and pleas for forgiveness somehow lacked sincerity when offered between the peals of laughter :(
Belle, I guess it was a good thing I save this story for AFTER the weenie roast eh?
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