Joke time

[chwester]

Bill Clinton has a heart attack, dies and goes to hell where the devil is waiting. The devil says,"I'm not sure what to do with you. You're on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I have three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who's place you'll take." Slick Willie thought that was a good idea, so he agreed. The devil open one door to a room and in it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over again. Such was his fate in hell. "No, I dont think so", said Bill, "I'm not much of a swimmer." The devil led him to the next room. In it was Ted Daschle with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that sledgehammer time after time after time. "No, I've got a problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if I had to do that all day", said Bill. The devil opened a third door and in the room was Jesse Jackson lying on the floor with his hands behind his head and his legs spread wide. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky doing what she does best. Bill watched for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I could handle that!" The devil smiled and said,"Ok Monica, you're free to go."

Proud to be an American

www.pullingdownstrongholds.com

www.anncoulter.org

[Steve!]

Chelsea Clinton came home one day, and said, "Guess what, mom and dad, I met a boy, and we're engaged to be married! His name is Chip Xxxxxx!"

Bill said, "Chelsea, we need to talk. Your mother has not always been the most exciting of women, sexually speaking, and sometimes I sowed my wild oats in other fields, if you know what I mean. Chip is your brother."

Heartbroken, Chelsea walks away.

A few weeks later, she says, "Mom, Dad, I've met someone else. Tad Xxxxxx".

Bill says, "Well, Chelsea, remember that talk about wild oats? Tad's your brother too."

A few weeks later it happens again. And again.

In frustration, Chelsea says to Hillary, "Mom, how am I ever going to meet a guy I can marry? All the guys around here are related to me!"

Hitlery says, "Oh, don't pay any attention to him. He's not really your father."