Life is MESSY. And I have found mid- life to be especially so... so, what do you folks do to clean it up?
Well, lacking the funds for a first class psychiatrist, and enough tranquilizers to stop a bull moose.. there have to be a few options... hmmmm.
You can find great help without incurring the expense of a first class shrink. There are a number of resources that you can pursue. If you happen to live near a university hospital or if driving to one on a monthly basis is an option, you will find that you can work with a psychologist or psychiatrist in training. They have done most of their academic work before they are allowed see patients and their work is closely monitored by a faculty member who is fully licensed to practice to ensure that your well being is not put at risk. Best of all, the cost is nominal.
Another option is to see a limited licensed psychologist. They are less expensive than seeing a PhD. These are psychologists who have completed the masters in psychology. They have been trained and licensed to counsel patients in all but the most severe of mental disorders. I am seeing a limited licensed psychologist now and am quite pleased with her work. As with any psychologist who isn't a M.D., you will need to see a physician if you require meds. The prescribing physician will want to see you typically every three months to see how you are progressing with the meds. (The doc I see gives me enough samples to get me by until it's time to see him.)
I have found that friends with whom I have established a mutual respect and trust are a very good source of help. Sometimes it's good to just get what you are feeling out in the open. That can be very eye opening to what your options are, often without your friend having to suggest anything. Other times you will be amazed how easily a lot of situations are resolved when someone who can be objective yet cares about your well-being gives their advice.
I hope this helps. I believe getting help with emotional issues is a regular trip to the dentist, it prevents "plaque" from building up an ruining a great smile. Unfortunately, in our culture men are taught to be stoic and tough it out on our own. Such a warped view of masculinity often has devastating results in our lives and those of our loved ones.
seperate these issues yourself and put them into a healthier mindset.I also think having someone there to hear is also good..first we must know we are not perfect. we have made bad choices in this life but I believe it can get better.praying for you.
I am not telling you not to, but I didn't have agood experience when I went the college psychologist route about 15 years ago, that Oeno is talking about--they are available, but (at least the one I was working with) was a college kid who had read all the books but lacked the real life experience to offer any genuine help for me. Thats not to say they are all like that.
There are also in most communities, health or mental health clinics that have psychiatrists/psychologists/counsellors available on a sliding scale or that offer a fairly reasonable rate that can be helpful during stressful times, but like church denominations or religions they come in all sizes, colors, strngths, weaknesses
and degrees of capabilities. Some are good, some are mediocre, some are horrible and every once and awhile there are ones that are very very capable, helpful and beneficial to be involved with. If you feel you could use some help I would suggest shopping around and looking for someone that you connect with and genuinely feel understands what you are talking about without giving you canned answers. Don't get discouraged if you want to go this route their are some very good ones out there...for me it just took a little time to find one that was right for me.
On a practical level when things got a little hairy for a while in my midlife times, I started eating better, exercising regularly, strengthening my bonds with my family and building a community of friends that I trusted (all just simple common sense good helpful things) . This all took a little time but probably in the end helped me sort out stuff and find my stance more than anything else
Stayed Too Long, don't get me wrong in all of this. I'm still deleriously happy.
In a way, these are probably the best days of my life..
Kind of a contradiction, ah, but so is life.. :D
Thanks for your kind comments..
In practical matters:
I work out at least three times a week at the local shop here..
I probably consume a little too much alcohol.. but am working on that.. don't think I'm an alcoholic or anything like that..
No tobacco.
Just all the changes in life can be overwhelming sometimes..
I have sought help with a few individuals, I'll see how competent they are!
In a way, these are the greatest days of my life.
When I was younger, I dreaded the possibility of getting older.. now I wouldn't go back for anything.. I feel like I'm finally on the journey I should have been on long ago.
One thing that helps me is playing a competive sport. I enjoy going to tournaments to compete (most of the tournaments I go to are about 200 miles away).
Playing a competive sport helps change the focus of your attention (even if for awhile), you interact with other people in a "fun" enviroment, and exercise is usually a good thing. I know people who are in there 70's who play racquetball every morning. And, my uncle plays basketball at lunch about 3 times a week.
There might be a local gym and/or recreation center near you.
Z has an excellent idea....I agree, as I have found this to be true as well.
It is very refreshing to learn something new....to stretch yourself physically and mentally at our age.
I started karate at 40 and now compete in tournaments. Sure I am not worth a darn compared to the younger folks....but hey, I am a darn sight better than I was 4 years ago...lol
I have made great friends with some of the folks at the dojo.....I enjoy seeing the folks from around the country that show up at competitions.....there is something very satisfying about the intense work and exercise, the preparation for exams, the pride of accomplishment when promoted....at 44 I get a bigger kick outta the trophies I bring home than the kiddoes do.....
If money is an issue.....try to see if there isn`t a free program in your area...in our area, there is karate for Christ that is operated as an outreach service for churches....it is free.
It doesn`t matter what you chose....just pick something you enjoy that will help you to stretch yourself.
Dog obediance training, horse training, trail riding, bowling league, motorcycle clubs, military reenactment clubs, hiking, ANYTHING that will get you out and challenge you physically, and stretch your imagination :)
From one with the athletic prowess of a carp, I don't know how well that would work out..
both of my kids are atheletes.. no idea where it came from..
Karate is a good idea perhaps..
Rascal, after seeing you in person, I can see you in a dojo wearing the conventional karate dress.. kind of strange in a way, but it somehow would fit..
This is a great place to find people who maybe share an interest in the same things as you, or an interest in something you'd be excited to learn more about. There's usually a "Newcomers" group of people who just get together to do things going on in the area - be it a free concert, free movies in the park, dinner at a local restaurant, happy hour gatherings, etc.....
There's just about something for everyone on this site and you can look by location. I belong to the local newcomer's group in Orlando and they are always doing something. I just pick and choose which things I want to go to. They're easy that way. :)
For me personally, horseshoes, even though its an "old farts " game..is very therapeutic & costs very litte....The different leagues all over the country asre now mostly "handicapped" like bowling..so if you're a beginner, & playing a good player, you have a shot at beating him/her
The fact that you can practice alone is a plus as well.. as in practicing, if you're "not hitting"..then get your mind off your problems & into HOW to start throwing ringers!! VERY Therapeutic!!!!! HONEST engine..try it you'll either like it or hate it! At our age its about the only thing left we can excel at LOLOLOL
:P Mr. Hammeroni, God has not deserted you.........He is the best one to hit with your problems if you cannot afford someone. I hope you have not closed off this option. Even if it's depression, it can be gone tomorrow and never come back.
Don't give up on him, he's not tied to any ministry or group of persons.
Today I feel a heck of a lot better.. and I think people's prayers have helped a lot.. a lot of bitter old baggage finally came up..and I just need to make sure I've dealt with it, and not just buried it again.
In a lot of ways, socially, my growth has been stunted by years of involvement in the ministry. All of the suggestions, even silly ones have helped.
Horseshoes, with a handicap! I guess even a carp can throw horse shoes if it tries hard enough..
I think the group of friends here have helped me more than anything though.. at least to this point in my life.
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Allan
Depends how many 'ties' you have...jump onto a Harley and ride off into the sunset ??
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Ham
Well, that's one good suggestion.. Now, if I could afford the Harley, I could probably afford the Psychiatrist..
I'm looking for something on the cheap side, VERY cheap.. :D
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Brother Speed
Ya can't live with 'em and its agin the law ta shoot 'em (but a 27 cent bullit is a lot cheaper) lol.
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Stayed Too Long
This the same 'spotter who posted a week or so ago: "If I died this happy, well.. it would be enough.."?
:unsure:
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oenophile
You can find great help without incurring the expense of a first class shrink. There are a number of resources that you can pursue. If you happen to live near a university hospital or if driving to one on a monthly basis is an option, you will find that you can work with a psychologist or psychiatrist in training. They have done most of their academic work before they are allowed see patients and their work is closely monitored by a faculty member who is fully licensed to practice to ensure that your well being is not put at risk. Best of all, the cost is nominal.
Another option is to see a limited licensed psychologist. They are less expensive than seeing a PhD. These are psychologists who have completed the masters in psychology. They have been trained and licensed to counsel patients in all but the most severe of mental disorders. I am seeing a limited licensed psychologist now and am quite pleased with her work. As with any psychologist who isn't a M.D., you will need to see a physician if you require meds. The prescribing physician will want to see you typically every three months to see how you are progressing with the meds. (The doc I see gives me enough samples to get me by until it's time to see him.)
I have found that friends with whom I have established a mutual respect and trust are a very good source of help. Sometimes it's good to just get what you are feeling out in the open. That can be very eye opening to what your options are, often without your friend having to suggest anything. Other times you will be amazed how easily a lot of situations are resolved when someone who can be objective yet cares about your well-being gives their advice.
I hope this helps. I believe getting help with emotional issues is a regular trip to the dentist, it prevents "plaque" from building up an ruining a great smile. Unfortunately, in our culture men are taught to be stoic and tough it out on our own. Such a warped view of masculinity often has devastating results in our lives and those of our loved ones.
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Brother Speed
Psychologists and Psychiatrists -- overpaid handholders, the whole lot of them.
If I'm rich, they'll help until I'm broke. As soon as I'm broke, wow, I'm cured. <_<
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likeaneagle
Mr.Ham
seperate these issues yourself and put them into a healthier mindset.I also think having someone there to hear is also good..first we must know we are not perfect. we have made bad choices in this life but I believe it can get better.praying for you.
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mstar1
I am not telling you not to, but I didn't have agood experience when I went the college psychologist route about 15 years ago, that Oeno is talking about--they are available, but (at least the one I was working with) was a college kid who had read all the books but lacked the real life experience to offer any genuine help for me. Thats not to say they are all like that.
There are also in most communities, health or mental health clinics that have psychiatrists/psychologists/counsellors available on a sliding scale or that offer a fairly reasonable rate that can be helpful during stressful times, but like church denominations or religions they come in all sizes, colors, strngths, weaknesses
and degrees of capabilities. Some are good, some are mediocre, some are horrible and every once and awhile there are ones that are very very capable, helpful and beneficial to be involved with. If you feel you could use some help I would suggest shopping around and looking for someone that you connect with and genuinely feel understands what you are talking about without giving you canned answers. Don't get discouraged if you want to go this route their are some very good ones out there...for me it just took a little time to find one that was right for me.
On a practical level when things got a little hairy for a while in my midlife times, I started eating better, exercising regularly, strengthening my bonds with my family and building a community of friends that I trusted (all just simple common sense good helpful things) . This all took a little time but probably in the end helped me sort out stuff and find my stance more than anything else
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Brother Speed
Mr. Ham,
Stop rationalizing it!!!
You know she wants that hot little red number. Just get it already and be done with it.
and remember, you can break any contract in 72 hours. :lol:
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Ham
Stayed Too Long, don't get me wrong in all of this. I'm still deleriously happy.
In a way, these are probably the best days of my life..
Kind of a contradiction, ah, but so is life.. :D
Thanks for your kind comments..
In practical matters:
I work out at least three times a week at the local shop here..
I probably consume a little too much alcohol.. but am working on that.. don't think I'm an alcoholic or anything like that..
No tobacco.
Just all the changes in life can be overwhelming sometimes..
I have sought help with a few individuals, I'll see how competent they are!
In a way, these are the greatest days of my life.
When I was younger, I dreaded the possibility of getting older.. now I wouldn't go back for anything.. I feel like I'm finally on the journey I should have been on long ago.
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Brother Speed
Ahh Ha!
You haven't had your 'crises' yet! Quit worring about it, it'll happen.
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Zshot
Ham,
One thing that helps me is playing a competive sport. I enjoy going to tournaments to compete (most of the tournaments I go to are about 200 miles away).
Playing a competive sport helps change the focus of your attention (even if for awhile), you interact with other people in a "fun" enviroment, and exercise is usually a good thing. I know people who are in there 70's who play racquetball every morning. And, my uncle plays basketball at lunch about 3 times a week.
There might be a local gym and/or recreation center near you.
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ex70sHouston
I have to agree with Z shot. Find a sport or hobby that has to be done away from home and with other people.
The fact that you get out and work at anything that is fun. Gets your mind off the problems of life and gets you out with people of similar interests.
Have a little fun. God never said to be a miserable worn out problem child.
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rascal
Z has an excellent idea....I agree, as I have found this to be true as well.
It is very refreshing to learn something new....to stretch yourself physically and mentally at our age.
I started karate at 40 and now compete in tournaments. Sure I am not worth a darn compared to the younger folks....but hey, I am a darn sight better than I was 4 years ago...lol
I have made great friends with some of the folks at the dojo.....I enjoy seeing the folks from around the country that show up at competitions.....there is something very satisfying about the intense work and exercise, the preparation for exams, the pride of accomplishment when promoted....at 44 I get a bigger kick outta the trophies I bring home than the kiddoes do.....
If money is an issue.....try to see if there isn`t a free program in your area...in our area, there is karate for Christ that is operated as an outreach service for churches....it is free.
It doesn`t matter what you chose....just pick something you enjoy that will help you to stretch yourself.
Dog obediance training, horse training, trail riding, bowling league, motorcycle clubs, military reenactment clubs, hiking, ANYTHING that will get you out and challenge you physically, and stretch your imagination :)
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Ham
Well.. sports, sports... hmmm.
From one with the athletic prowess of a carp, I don't know how well that would work out..
both of my kids are atheletes.. no idea where it came from..
Karate is a good idea perhaps..
Rascal, after seeing you in person, I can see you in a dojo wearing the conventional karate dress.. kind of strange in a way, but it somehow would fit..
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Zshot
I didn't know that you swim like a fish
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Belle
Ham,
Check out Meet Up.
This is a great place to find people who maybe share an interest in the same things as you, or an interest in something you'd be excited to learn more about. There's usually a "Newcomers" group of people who just get together to do things going on in the area - be it a free concert, free movies in the park, dinner at a local restaurant, happy hour gatherings, etc.....
There's just about something for everyone on this site and you can look by location. I belong to the local newcomer's group in Orlando and they are always doing something. I just pick and choose which things I want to go to. They're easy that way. :)
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Ham
Nice site Belle! Now.. so many many things to choose from..
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Second James
For me personally, horseshoes, even though its an "old farts " game..is very therapeutic & costs very litte....The different leagues all over the country asre now mostly "handicapped" like bowling..so if you're a beginner, & playing a good player, you have a shot at beating him/her
The fact that you can practice alone is a plus as well.. as in practicing, if you're "not hitting"..then get your mind off your problems & into HOW to start throwing ringers!! VERY Therapeutic!!!!! HONEST engine..try it you'll either like it or hate it! At our age its about the only thing left we can excel at LOLOLOL
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LornaDoone
:P Mr. Hammeroni, God has not deserted you.........He is the best one to hit with your problems if you cannot afford someone. I hope you have not closed off this option. Even if it's depression, it can be gone tomorrow and never come back.
Don't give up on him, he's not tied to any ministry or group of persons.
Wish you the best & praying for you.
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Ham
Thanks Lorna.. no, I haven't given up on HIM.
Today I feel a heck of a lot better.. and I think people's prayers have helped a lot.. a lot of bitter old baggage finally came up..and I just need to make sure I've dealt with it, and not just buried it again.
In a lot of ways, socially, my growth has been stunted by years of involvement in the ministry. All of the suggestions, even silly ones have helped.
Horseshoes, with a handicap! I guess even a carp can throw horse shoes if it tries hard enough..
I think the group of friends here have helped me more than anything though.. at least to this point in my life.
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Second James
Some times the carp do show up Ham...we call it throwing like crap...not carp..
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