This is a story about a popular young Baptist preacher, who on Sunday morning announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Bubba, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs, and applauds.
Billy Bob, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the preacher stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!" More sighs and applause.
Ms. Ella May, age 70, stands and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll give him SEX!!"
There is a hush. The preacher, blushing, asks, "Ms. Ella May, whatever possessed you to say that?" Ms. Ella May answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, .... 'Fxxx him'!"
ROTFL, I found the original post amusing pirate, thanks. I found Mike`s reaction hysterically funny!
What a hoot.... pirate...you`d BETTER be worried....rofl ....you been REPORTED! gasp shiver.....know this.....that we will hold you directly responsible for any mayhem and murder created as a direct result of spiritual contamination from devil spirits inadvertantly absorbed from allowing our eyes contact with the offensive filth in your post ;)
Lower your voice and strengthen your argument. -Lebanese proverb
1. If the moderators start moderating for good taste we will never get caught up.
2. If you don't like the post, start a debate over why if it is important to you.
3. If the moderators remove every post and every poster that someone else doesn't like, the board will be empty in the time it takes to hit the delete button. :blink:
Well, I thought it was funny. And I was waiting for the violent punch line to come up. AND I have been choked before, so the image is momentarily and mildly unsettling.
But it's still funny!
Mike, if that jokes incites someone to murder, he was gonna murder anyway, and just needed an excuse. If someone is that far gone, they will find an excuse in the wallpaper if necessary, and nothing you say or don't say will prevent it.
You made it sound like we Greasespotters are all one short step from being possessed killers. Is that what you meant?
I submit that continued dining at the cafe will open you to further danger.
It is clearly not PFAL based.
It is also futile to try and get the rest of us to change to a PFAL based reality
Therefore in order to be true to your own stated belief to read nothing but PFAL material--please avoid threads such as these for your own well being
================
That said here is MO's stress reducer
Take a dozen hard boiled eggs -more if you are really upset--these eggs need to be really hard maybe 7 minutes
After they cool write the name of the person who is causing the stress in black marker on each egg.
go outside where you can hose or shovel up the mess
standng 10 to 15 feet from a wall hurl eggs one at a time at the wall.
The eggs will explode in a shower of fragments
This works -- I did it with my ex's name and Mr Urquharts name it is very satisfying
==================
Okay MIke if you are still here
I am ready for you to explain and complain how the wanton destruction of graffiti covered unborn fetuses of poultry can lead to debil spurt possession.
Chapter and verse from PFAL please
Citing the spritual state of poultry
Why writing names on eggs is spritually unsound
Why relieving stress by making fowl bombs is an open door to possession
When you read something you consider offensive, you get devil spirits inside of you?
thoughts are NOT devil spirits , emotions are not devil spirits.
they are only thoughts and emotion something God created us all with .
why are you so frightened?
You claim to have a mind and ability to think and reason yet a joke can spark a fear so deep for you you must use large red letters to threaten with.
have you any ability to control your mind? Can your mind be overtaken with words? what can these (murder spirits)you say this opens your mind up to do to you ?
You would like to have the power of Jesus yet you cower and fear over what any man can do to you.
Paul says "they can do nothing".
I think your a control freak. In an out of control world, the only one your responsible for is yourself.
why are you so very frightened that you will have spirits inside of you when you read a joke?
Is Jesus able to love people in a world that has problems ?
will you ever be able to control what people do or do not do? if NOT then why are you so afraid and angry?
My goodness gracious, Mike. My most abject apologizes for having offended you in this manner.
I consider myself properly chastised for my obviously inappropriate posting. In the future, I shall more carefully consider the wordings of what is written here. Reporting me to the moderators too. I was absolutely all aquiver awaiting the certain retribution to follow.
If a post such as this could "open up to devil spirits of murder" I guess I'd better get rid of my King James Bible. It's just full of murder, rape, incest and mayhem of all kinds.
Not to mention PFAL where little kids get run over by cars because of their mother's negative believing.
Am I the only one here who thinks that Mike might be KIDDING? I haven't seen many of his posts lately, but I don't recall anything quite this "knee-jerk" before. I'm hoping it's tongue-in-cheek! :)
Recommended Posts
Top Posters In This Topic
4
6
4
4
Popular Days
Oct 7
37
Oct 8
11
Oct 11
7
Oct 10
2
Top Posters In This Topic
Raf 4 posts
ChattyKathy 6 posts
WordWolf 4 posts
Mike 4 posts
Popular Days
Oct 7 2005
37 posts
Oct 8 2005
11 posts
Oct 11 2005
7 posts
Oct 10 2005
2 posts
Mike
Sure!
Open up to devil spirits of MURDER!!!
Why should this thread be subtle. Let's get it out into the open
Edited by MikeLink to comment
Share on other sites
Mike
This whole thread better be gone in the morning!
I've hit the "report" button on my post and on Pirate's.
Are there any moderators out there?
I tried to call pamsandiego but there's no answer. It's 11 pm here.
I would have called someone else but it's 2am on the East Coast.
Edited by MikeLink to comment
Share on other sites
mstar1
Mike-Looks like you opened up to a "Spirit of getting bent out of shape over nothing"
after you close your trap door maybe you could try some stress reduction exercises...
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mike
You have to be pretty jaded to call this nothing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
Mike,
you seem stressed.
You might want to try a stress reduction exercise.
Not the one from the first post-
that one you have a problem with.
Maybe a slow walk around the block,
or feeding the pigeons,
or studying cloud formations.
I once found tracing a pattern to be relaxing.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
[ Or else?
Someone made YOU the arbiter of what stays and what goes? ]
[Well, that's all you CAN do.
Next, you see if the staff agrees with you. ]
=====
[See,
the original post was a joke.
Perhaps it was in poor taste, perhaps not.
Me, I didn't think it was worth even a full smirk,
but that doesn't mean anything.
You found someone's post offensive.
You reported that post and cited the reasons. (I'm guessing you did that and did it correctly.)
That's your part.
Now the moderation staff decides if any action is warranted.
See,
just because one or more posters find a post offensive is no reason to suppose
it will "have to" be deleted or whatever.
If it DID, a LOT of posts in here would be gone.
I think the majority of posts here can be considered "offensive" by SOMEBODY here.
Me, I had a problem with a movie post once.
I didn't report it because I judged it wasn't worth dwelling on it.
If they elect to leave it up,
you can ignore that and do something else,
you can storm off in a huff,
or you can throw a temper-tantrum that some people will find offensive.
This is not your board-
therefore these are not your rules.]
Edited by WordWolfLink to comment
Share on other sites
Sushi
For those who don't know, the definition of stress.
Stress: The confusion created when the mind overrides the body's desire to choke the s*** out of some a-hole who desperately needs it. B)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mstar1
No--You've gotta be pretty screwed up to get so so knocked out of whack by a joke.
and Pirate --Thank You I actually liked it!
Edited by mstar1Link to comment
Share on other sites
moony3424
I actually like the joke and I thank you Pirate for posting it. If that makes me in the minority, so be it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
excathedra
This is a story about a popular young Baptist preacher, who on Sunday morning announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Bubba, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a minivan, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs, and applauds.
Billy Bob, the entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the preacher stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!" More sighs and applause.
Ms. Ella May, age 70, stands and announces, "If the preacher stays, I'll give him SEX!!"
There is a hush. The preacher, blushing, asks, "Ms. Ella May, whatever possessed you to say that?" Ms. Ella May answers, "I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, .... 'Fxxx him'!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites
moony3424
Ok excathedra. That woke me up this morning, but finish the story. What did the preacher's wife have to say to that? :lol:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
rascal
ROTFL, I found the original post amusing pirate, thanks. I found Mike`s reaction hysterically funny!
What a hoot.... pirate...you`d BETTER be worried....rofl ....you been REPORTED! gasp shiver.....know this.....that we will hold you directly responsible for any mayhem and murder created as a direct result of spiritual contamination from devil spirits inadvertantly absorbed from allowing our eyes contact with the offensive filth in your post ;)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Modaustin
Lower your voice and strengthen your argument. -Lebanese proverb
1. If the moderators start moderating for good taste we will never get caught up.
2. If you don't like the post, start a debate over why if it is important to you.
3. If the moderators remove every post and every poster that someone else doesn't like, the board will be empty in the time it takes to hit the delete button. :blink:
Edited by ModaustinLink to comment
Share on other sites
LG
Ah, a nice baptism in cool, clear water. Very peaceful.
:)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GarthP2000
Well now, we all know why Smikeol is miffed this morning now, don't we? And I daresay it isn't over Pirate's joke either.
(Hint. It might be related to our non-acceptance of the 'god breathed piffle'. ;))
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mike
Whispering "fire" in a crowded theater is a crime.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
WordWolf
And yet,
nobody cares if you yell "crowded theater"
in the middle of a fire.
===
Actually, whispering ANYTHING in a theater will go completely unnoticed.
Unless it's just the theaters near me....
Link to comment
Share on other sites
shazdancer
Well, I thought it was funny. And I was waiting for the violent punch line to come up. AND I have been choked before, so the image is momentarily and mildly unsettling.
But it's still funny!
Mike, if that jokes incites someone to murder, he was gonna murder anyway, and just needed an excuse. If someone is that far gone, they will find an excuse in the wallpaper if necessary, and nothing you say or don't say will prevent it.
You made it sound like we Greasespotters are all one short step from being possessed killers. Is that what you meant?
Shaz
Link to comment
Share on other sites
templelady
MIke MIke Mike
I submit that continued dining at the cafe will open you to further danger.
It is clearly not PFAL based.
It is also futile to try and get the rest of us to change to a PFAL based reality
Therefore in order to be true to your own stated belief to read nothing but PFAL material--please avoid threads such as these for your own well being
================
That said here is MO's stress reducer
Take a dozen hard boiled eggs -more if you are really upset--these eggs need to be really hard maybe 7 minutes
After they cool write the name of the person who is causing the stress in black marker on each egg.
go outside where you can hose or shovel up the mess
standng 10 to 15 feet from a wall hurl eggs one at a time at the wall.
The eggs will explode in a shower of fragments
This works -- I did it with my ex's name and Mr Urquharts name it is very satisfying
==================
Okay MIke if you are still here
I am ready for you to explain and complain how the wanton destruction of graffiti covered unborn fetuses of poultry can lead to debil spurt possession.
Chapter and verse from PFAL please
Citing the spritual state of poultry
Why writing names on eggs is spritually unsound
Why relieving stress by making fowl bombs is an open door to possession
Link to comment
Share on other sites
pond
Mike
When you read something you consider offensive, you get devil spirits inside of you?
thoughts are NOT devil spirits , emotions are not devil spirits.
they are only thoughts and emotion something God created us all with .
why are you so frightened?
You claim to have a mind and ability to think and reason yet a joke can spark a fear so deep for you you must use large red letters to threaten with.
have you any ability to control your mind? Can your mind be overtaken with words? what can these (murder spirits)you say this opens your mind up to do to you ?
You would like to have the power of Jesus yet you cower and fear over what any man can do to you.
Paul says "they can do nothing".
I think your a control freak. In an out of control world, the only one your responsible for is yourself.
why are you so very frightened that you will have spirits inside of you when you read a joke?
Is Jesus able to love people in a world that has problems ?
will you ever be able to control what people do or do not do? if NOT then why are you so afraid and angry?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Pirate1974
My goodness gracious, Mike. My most abject apologizes for having offended you in this manner.
I consider myself properly chastised for my obviously inappropriate posting. In the future, I shall more carefully consider the wordings of what is written here. Reporting me to the moderators too. I was absolutely all aquiver awaiting the certain retribution to follow.
If a post such as this could "open up to devil spirits of murder" I guess I'd better get rid of my King James Bible. It's just full of murder, rape, incest and mayhem of all kinds.
Not to mention PFAL where little kids get run over by cars because of their mother's negative believing.
Back to the Doctrinal Thread with you.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Zshot
Mike,
Try taking deep breaths and exhaleing a few times...
I think that somewhere in the Bible there is something about a merry heart?
We might not all have the same sense of humor...
But, it's nice to know that there are some among us that at least have a sense.
Edited by ZshotLink to comment
Share on other sites
Raf
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GeorgeStGeorge
Am I the only one here who thinks that Mike might be KIDDING? I haven't seen many of his posts lately, but I don't recall anything quite this "knee-jerk" before. I'm hoping it's tongue-in-cheek! :)
George
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.