Newspaper Headline Bloopers

[Ron G.]

man shot, stabbed; death by natural causes ruled.

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.

At the tea party, Mrs. Smyth and Mrs. Jarvis poured at both ends.

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.

Crack Found on Governors Daughter.

Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.

Fire officials grilled over kerosene heaters.

Fresh B.C. Atlantic fillets.

Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.

He remarked in all seriousness that it was hereditary in his family to have no children.

He returned to his duties Monday after several weeks’ absence due to his death.

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors.

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It Could Last Awhile.

If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.

If you use lemon juice, squeeze it from fresh oranges.

Iraqi head seeks arms.

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

John Redekop was arrested Saturday by Calgary Police on a charge of drinking while intoxicated.

Just before the court sentence, Mr. Williams was asked if he had anything to say. In a calm voice, and without the least sign of emotion, he said nothing.

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in Ten Years.

Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice.

Legislators tax brains to cut deficit.

Lettuce won’t turn brown if you put your head in a plastic bag before placing it in the refrigerator.

Local high school drop-outs cut in half.

Man found dead in cemetery.

Man minus ear waives hearing.

Man struck by lightning faces battery charges.

Miners Refuse to Work After Death.

Miss Penneway is in hospital this morning, after having been bitten by a spider in a bathing suit.

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.

Pastor aghast at first lady sex position.

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.

Served with a writ yesterday afternoon, Mr. Thompson must produce children in court within 24 hours.

Several hours passed before the plane was missed, although it had cracked up barely two minutes before takeoff.

Ski areas close due to snow.

Small boat for sale by widow – with a wide bottom.

Someone raised the question of adherence to civil air regulations which limit the flight time of pilots and crows to eight hours a day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.

Stud tires out.

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids.

The bride-elect was showered with pieces of her chosen china.

The Chief is inclined to believe that a crossed wife might be the cause of the fire.

The foursome took in a number of shows and enjoyed the gal life of the city.

The managers of the two Brunswick toy factories will put on night shirts next week.

Typhoon rips through cemetery; hundreds dead.

Using this new paste, women with copper bottoms will no longer have any trouble keeping them shining like new.

The calls started at noon Saturday night.

The game began promptly 45 minutes late.

The union is seeking a 10% wage increase, plus improved benefits and double time for any day in which the workers work.

Then the officers closed in. Johnson was wounded in one hip. A stray bullet killed one bystander slightly.

Utah girl does well in dog shows.

Wanted: Human cannonball – must be able to travel.

Wanted: Widower with school age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

War Dims Hope for Peace.

We wish to thank our many friends and neighbours, for their kind assistance in the recent destruction of our home by fire.

Weather Forecast: Colder tonight, heavy frost if clear. Saturday fair, probably followed by Sunday.

When the baby is done drinking, it should be rinsed, unscrewed and laid in a cool place. Woman improving after fatal crash.

Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based.