Sea, yes, tell us more. You are a great writer. We had a Sambo's in my hometown during those years also. Now it is a Grandy's.
Our Sambo's was torn down and a Hardees was built there. Gosh I have some really fond memories of that place. :)-->
BTW, thanks for the welcome everyone. I am so busy with work and going to school, I haven't had much time to post, but I should be able to post more of my story tomorrow.
This is like a great novel that you can't put down (not to downplay your pain, Vix, I am sorry for any bad experienced).
Many have lived through the hell of TWI and more.
It can be real cathartic to share your story because a lot of people here can relate!
continue.......
bliss
That's ok, bliss. I know you aren't downplaying my pain and it has been both cathartic and painful recalling the years I was "in" but after years of therapy the pain has subsided somewhat and I have been able to move on but there are still some things that happen and I'm immediately transported back to those times but you deal with the problem and continue on.
I have always had the ability to convey my feelings with words and it pleases me to no end that people enjoy reading what I've written and hopefully learn too. :)-->
Thanks again for welcoming me into this awesome group!
When he asked me to come to the next fellowship with him, I excitedly said yes. This was something that felt right to me; little did I know that I was about to begin a journey into hell that would last for the next 15 years.
More to come later, if you are interested. Right now, I have to get ready for work. I will check back either to tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for listening.
Vix
Sea -- (Vix) --- YOU --- ARE --- LEAVING --- US --- HANGINGGGGGG!
My first fellowship is all a blur. I cannot tell you what was taught but I do remember the twig leader and his wife’s first name they were a nice couple but in hindsight, his wife seemed really cold and aloof. What I do remember was the love that I felt from everyone in the room. I believe most of the regulars were minutemen (funny how up until this moment I could not remember that name) and there were only about two or three new people there. I was one of the new people.
After fellowship, J** began talking about a class that taught biblical principles and how it had changed his life. I don’t think he went into many details, all I remember thinking, “This is what I have been searching for. He said the class was 80.00 and it ran for two weeks. If I remember correctly, the class was on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and it was at night. The money was no problem, since I made good tips and I knew that I had saved up at least that. That night I signed up and went to work to talk to my boss about getting those nights off. The class was scheduled to begin in two weeks. We had seven people in the class so that meant a taped class that honestly, was kind of boring since you really had nothing to look at, just listen. (I remember hearing how important this class was because we had two witches in the class. Never did find out who they were.)
I remember being fascinated my vp stand on what the original sin was and then came the last session where everyone was instructed on how to speak in tongues. Since I was raised in a Pentecostal church this was no problem for me, but it seemed odd that vp insisted that it was to be done “decently and in order.†(If anyone has ever visited a Pentecostal church, you know that this is NEVER the case, lol)
During that classes, I think it was around session 5 or 6, B** and I were coming in from the country to see a movie and this was during the winter months and the first snow of the year. We had just rounded a corner when he lost control of the car and we hit a telephone pole on my side of the car. J** and A** never even came to the hospital to see if we were alright, but another couple who was taking the class came and got us and took us back to their place.
The next day, we went to see J** and A** who said it was the devil trying to prevent us from finishing the class. That we needed to be very careful during the last few sessions, because the devil knew we were destined to do great things in the ministry and he wanted to prevent us from fulfilling our destiny. We finished the class with no further incidents except that I lost my job at Sambo’s because they put me on the schedule for one night of the class and since I didn’t know anything about it, until the next night when I went in to work and was told that I was fired.
I was devastated because I had just spent the last of my savings for the class. I did however get another job which was fine for J** because as he put it, “Now you can continue to abs and save up for the intermediate class.â€
Fellowship and classes is about all I remember about the rest of that winter. I think we had fellowship almost every night, which left little time for anything else. By now the brainwashing had begun to take its effect and I began to cut myself off from family and friends that were not “believers†because as we all know they were hinder us from moving the word.
Next, the "joy" of becoming a minuteman. (Hope you were not too bored with this).
So many of us have stories that are so similar yet so different. I've found it's healing to share and it's also healing to read others' experiences, too. Thank you for sharing with us!
I started working at a Sambos when I was 16 lol. I worked for one in alabama, and two in ND. I loved those places....
At 17 I quit and started working in an Omelet Shoppe....that was where I was witnessed to.
I attended fellowships and took classes for the same reasons that you described....but hey, this isn`t my story...lol Please continue, as you are very adpept at articulating how many of us became entangled with this group :)
I started working at a Sambos when I was 16 lol. I worked for one in alabama, and two in ND. I loved those places....
At 17 I quit and started working in an Omelet Shoppe....that was where I was witnessed to.
I attended fellowships and took classes for the same reasons that you described....but hey, this isn`t my story...lol Please continue, as you are very adpept at articulating how many of us became entangled with this group :)
thanks Rascal! I loved working at Sambo's too, and working the graveyard shift, I made really good tips especially on Friday and Saturday nights after the bars closed! LOL.
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond but sometimes real life has a way of getting in the way of cyberlife, doesn't it? ;)
I should have my next installment ready to post by Tuesday. See ya then!
The summer after I took the class, B*** decided that it would be a good idea for us to go into the minuteman program. I wasn't comfortable doing this, I guess because I had never been out of my hometown and I was only 19 at the time. I wanted to stay home and continue doing what I was doing. I had a fairly decent job and didn't want to quit.
At fellowship one night, the lc was there and afterwards, he and J** cornered me and began questioning my loyalty to the word, God and the ministry. Growing up with an unlovingly parent, constantly belittling me and making me feel lower than dirt, I began to feel the old feelings I had back then. The need to please, hoping that she/they would once again accept me and love me again. I agreed that I would go minuteman determined to show them that I was a loyal servant to God and the ministry, all the way, deep inside me I had serious misgivings about this but I pushed those feelings deep down and continued on with what they said was the right thing to do.
After the ceremony, we went to a small town in our state. Leadership there had already procured housing for us. I believe all of the minutemen there with the acceptional of B*** and I were corpse. I remember feeling so alone. All of the minutemen acted as if they were so superior to me and I was constantly being reproved for one thing or another. I was so unhappy and I wanted to go home, but I didn't want to cop out and not be faithful to God and the household, so I stayed.
I had trouble finding a job and was accused of not believing God, finally I did manage to find a waitress job, but I needed a white uniform (this was when you were supposed to look professional when you waited tables). I didn't have the money to buy one but I did have one back home and all but begged leadership to let me go home to get it so I could work. Finally they agreed and let me go. B*** drove me.
When we got home, I had received a phone call from the lc telling me that I shouldn't bother going back. I was dismissed from the minuteman program and was told that if I proved myself to be a true and faithful servant, I might be allowed to be a minuteman the following year. I was heartbroken and felt that I had let God down. B*** on the other hand was allowed to move to limb headquarters and stay with the fellow labours and continue moving God's word.
Meanwhile, I was in my hometown alone, no job and expected to go to fellowship and continue to abs regardless of having a job or not and if I screw up even a little I was harshly reproved. It was a living hell but I continued on, thinking that if I left, God would be angry with me. Thus ending my very unhappy month of being a minuteman.
Starts? Darlin' you're already in the middle of it! :( Bless your heart! I remember that feeling all too well. Pity we let them do that to us. Having to live with a family like that is one thing, but non-family....well, that hurts worse, I think.
I too only had one parent as well ...one who only took notice of me when it was time to scream and tell me what a dumb sh!t I was....
I remember when the tc`s began treating me that way....shiver...there was literally NOTHING that I wouldn`t do to prove my loyalty and commitment to God.
What a$$ holes to manipulate us into untenable situations.....utilizing the fear of dissapointing God as their weapon of intimidation.
You experience that initial love, warmth and acceptance....then it is used as a carrot for the next decade to get you to participate and preform.....
Starts? Darlin' you're already in the middle of it! :( Bless your heart! I remember that feeling all too well. Pity we let them do that to us. Having to live with a family like that is one thing, but non-family....well, that hurts worse, I think.
Yes I suppose I was in the middle of it, but at the time, I just didn't realize it. Having grown up with a mother who lived to tell me how useless I was and how much she regreted having me, you get use to the abuse. You begin to believe the words and begin to think that you ARE useless. I went right into another abusive relationship with der vay and didn't give it a second thought. I mean, I really thought all relationships were supposed to be that way. :(
I too only had one parent as well ...one who only took notice of me when it was time to scream and tell me what a dumb sh!t I was....
I really can relate to this rascal. My mother was the same way. She always made sure I knew that I was nothing and that she really should have gotten rid of me when she found out she was expecting me. I lived with that for the first ten years of my life. By the time I went to live with my grandmother, the damage was done and I had already had this worthlessness ingrained into the very fiber of me.
I remember when the tc`s began treating me that way....shiver...there was literally NOTHING that I wouldn`t do to prove my loyalty and commitment to God.
Same here, rascal. I just wanted them to know that I did love God and I was totally committed to moving the word across the world, but no matter what I did, it just wasn't good enough for them and of course if I wasn't good enough for them I wasn't good enough for God, ya know? I mean, these were THE men of God and they would know, right?
What a$$ holes to manipulate us into untenable situations.....utilizing the fear of dissapointing God as their weapon of intimidation.
This is so true, rascal. Do you think, that the tc's and lc's took classes on how to spot the weak and how to take advantage of them? Because in hindsight, it sure looks like they did.
You experience that initial love, warmth and acceptance....then it is used as a carrot for the next decade to get you to participate and preform.....
You're right. I felt as if they were saying if you don't do as I say, the love will go away.
If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn that this was 1985 or 1995. It just goes to show that all the heavy-handedness didn't start with LCM (though he did get it to be the standard by the time I left). Bless you, Sea.
George
P.S.: After your introduction, I, too, am a little curious to see what you call "abuse."
Sorry it's taken me so long to finish my story, but I have been so busy with school and work, I haven't had time to post. I promise I'll try to post more this week.
Hope everyone is doing good and that they had a terrific weekend.
Vix
If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn that this was 1985 or 1995. It just goes to show that all the heavy-handedness didn't start with LCM (though he did get it to be the standard by the time I left). Bless you, Sea.
George
P.S.: After your introduction, I, too, am a little curious to see what you call "abuse."
Nope, it was 1975 and you're right, the heavy-handedness didn't start with lcm. I'm sure you'll understand more when I send my next installment. Bless you, George.
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Shellon
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bliss
WELCOME SEA!!
:)-->
Yes, we all want to hear more, don't we guys...?
This is like a great novel that you can't put down (not to downplay your pain, Vix, I am sorry for any bad experienced).
Many have lived through the hell of TWI and more.
It can be real cathartic to share your story because a lot of people here can relate!
continue.......
bliss
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act2
Sea, yes, tell us more. You are a great writer. We had a Sambo's in my hometown during those years also. Now it is a Grandy's.
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outandabout
Yes, please continue.
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Sea
Our Sambo's was torn down and a Hardees was built there. Gosh I have some really fond memories of that place.
:)-->
BTW, thanks for the welcome everyone. I am so busy with work and going to school, I haven't had much time to post, but I should be able to post more of my story tomorrow.
See ya then!
Vix
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Sea
That's ok, bliss. I know you aren't downplaying my pain and it has been both cathartic and painful recalling the years I was "in" but after years of therapy the pain has subsided somewhat and I have been able to move on but there are still some things that happen and I'm immediately transported back to those times but you deal with the problem and continue on.
I have always had the ability to convey my feelings with words and it pleases me to no end that people enjoy reading what I've written and hopefully learn too.
:)-->
Thanks again for welcoming me into this awesome group!
Vix
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dmiller
Sea -- (Vix) --- YOU --- ARE --- LEAVING --- US --- HANGINGGGGGG!
Please continue.
:)-->
David
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dmiller
Oh --- and by the way --- Welcome to Grease Spot!
David
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Sea
My first fellowship is all a blur. I cannot tell you what was taught but I do remember the twig leader and his wife’s first name they were a nice couple but in hindsight, his wife seemed really cold and aloof. What I do remember was the love that I felt from everyone in the room. I believe most of the regulars were minutemen (funny how up until this moment I could not remember that name) and there were only about two or three new people there. I was one of the new people.
After fellowship, J** began talking about a class that taught biblical principles and how it had changed his life. I don’t think he went into many details, all I remember thinking, “This is what I have been searching for. He said the class was 80.00 and it ran for two weeks. If I remember correctly, the class was on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and it was at night. The money was no problem, since I made good tips and I knew that I had saved up at least that. That night I signed up and went to work to talk to my boss about getting those nights off. The class was scheduled to begin in two weeks. We had seven people in the class so that meant a taped class that honestly, was kind of boring since you really had nothing to look at, just listen. (I remember hearing how important this class was because we had two witches in the class. Never did find out who they were.)
I remember being fascinated my vp stand on what the original sin was and then came the last session where everyone was instructed on how to speak in tongues. Since I was raised in a Pentecostal church this was no problem for me, but it seemed odd that vp insisted that it was to be done “decently and in order.†(If anyone has ever visited a Pentecostal church, you know that this is NEVER the case, lol)
During that classes, I think it was around session 5 or 6, B** and I were coming in from the country to see a movie and this was during the winter months and the first snow of the year. We had just rounded a corner when he lost control of the car and we hit a telephone pole on my side of the car. J** and A** never even came to the hospital to see if we were alright, but another couple who was taking the class came and got us and took us back to their place.
The next day, we went to see J** and A** who said it was the devil trying to prevent us from finishing the class. That we needed to be very careful during the last few sessions, because the devil knew we were destined to do great things in the ministry and he wanted to prevent us from fulfilling our destiny. We finished the class with no further incidents except that I lost my job at Sambo’s because they put me on the schedule for one night of the class and since I didn’t know anything about it, until the next night when I went in to work and was told that I was fired.
I was devastated because I had just spent the last of my savings for the class. I did however get another job which was fine for J** because as he put it, “Now you can continue to abs and save up for the intermediate class.â€
Fellowship and classes is about all I remember about the rest of that winter. I think we had fellowship almost every night, which left little time for anything else. By now the brainwashing had begun to take its effect and I began to cut myself off from family and friends that were not “believers†because as we all know they were hinder us from moving the word.
Next, the "joy" of becoming a minuteman. (Hope you were not too bored with this).
Vix
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bliss
sounds like a most of our stories with our first class......please continue.......not boring at all
:D-->
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Belle
Welcome, Vix! Nice to meet you.
:)-->
So many of us have stories that are so similar yet so different. I've found it's healing to share and it's also healing to read others' experiences, too. Thank you for sharing with us!
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A la prochaine
Sea,
Never bored.
Your life is precious.
Welcome to GS.
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rascal
Hello Sea, WELCOME!!
I started working at a Sambos when I was 16 lol. I worked for one in alabama, and two in ND. I loved those places....
At 17 I quit and started working in an Omelet Shoppe....that was where I was witnessed to.
I attended fellowships and took classes for the same reasons that you described....but hey, this isn`t my story...lol Please continue, as you are very adpept at articulating how many of us became entangled with this group :)
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Sea
thanks Rascal! I loved working at Sambo's too, and working the graveyard shift, I made really good tips especially on Friday and Saturday nights after the bars closed! LOL.
Sorry it's taken me so long to respond but sometimes real life has a way of getting in the way of cyberlife, doesn't it? ;)
I should have my next installment ready to post by Tuesday. See ya then!
Vix
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Sea
The summer after I took the class, B*** decided that it would be a good idea for us to go into the minuteman program. I wasn't comfortable doing this, I guess because I had never been out of my hometown and I was only 19 at the time. I wanted to stay home and continue doing what I was doing. I had a fairly decent job and didn't want to quit.
At fellowship one night, the lc was there and afterwards, he and J** cornered me and began questioning my loyalty to the word, God and the ministry. Growing up with an unlovingly parent, constantly belittling me and making me feel lower than dirt, I began to feel the old feelings I had back then. The need to please, hoping that she/they would once again accept me and love me again. I agreed that I would go minuteman determined to show them that I was a loyal servant to God and the ministry, all the way, deep inside me I had serious misgivings about this but I pushed those feelings deep down and continued on with what they said was the right thing to do.
After the ceremony, we went to a small town in our state. Leadership there had already procured housing for us. I believe all of the minutemen there with the acceptional of B*** and I were corpse. I remember feeling so alone. All of the minutemen acted as if they were so superior to me and I was constantly being reproved for one thing or another. I was so unhappy and I wanted to go home, but I didn't want to cop out and not be faithful to God and the household, so I stayed.
I had trouble finding a job and was accused of not believing God, finally I did manage to find a waitress job, but I needed a white uniform (this was when you were supposed to look professional when you waited tables). I didn't have the money to buy one but I did have one back home and all but begged leadership to let me go home to get it so I could work. Finally they agreed and let me go. B*** drove me.
When we got home, I had received a phone call from the lc telling me that I shouldn't bother going back. I was dismissed from the minuteman program and was told that if I proved myself to be a true and faithful servant, I might be allowed to be a minuteman the following year. I was heartbroken and felt that I had let God down. B*** on the other hand was allowed to move to limb headquarters and stay with the fellow labours and continue moving God's word.
Meanwhile, I was in my hometown alone, no job and expected to go to fellowship and continue to abs regardless of having a job or not and if I screw up even a little I was harshly reproved. It was a living hell but I continued on, thinking that if I left, God would be angry with me. Thus ending my very unhappy month of being a minuteman.
Next: The abuse starts.
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Belle
Starts? Darlin' you're already in the middle of it! :( Bless your heart! I remember that feeling all too well. Pity we let them do that to us. Having to live with a family like that is one thing, but non-family....well, that hurts worse, I think.
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rascal
Darn it sea...are you writing my story??
I too only had one parent as well ...one who only took notice of me when it was time to scream and tell me what a dumb sh!t I was....
I remember when the tc`s began treating me that way....shiver...there was literally NOTHING that I wouldn`t do to prove my loyalty and commitment to God.
What a$$ holes to manipulate us into untenable situations.....utilizing the fear of dissapointing God as their weapon of intimidation.
You experience that initial love, warmth and acceptance....then it is used as a carrot for the next decade to get you to participate and preform.....
I HATE them.
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Sea
Yes I suppose I was in the middle of it, but at the time, I just didn't realize it. Having grown up with a mother who lived to tell me how useless I was and how much she regreted having me, you get use to the abuse. You begin to believe the words and begin to think that you ARE useless. I went right into another abusive relationship with der vay and didn't give it a second thought. I mean, I really thought all relationships were supposed to be that way. :(
Vix
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Sea
As do I.
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excathedra
thank you girls
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GeorgeStGeorge
If I didn't know better, I'd have sworn that this was 1985 or 1995. It just goes to show that all the heavy-handedness didn't start with LCM (though he did get it to be the standard by the time I left). Bless you, Sea.
George
P.S.: After your introduction, I, too, am a little curious to see what you call "abuse."
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Sea
Sorry it's taken me so long to finish my story, but I have been so busy with school and work, I haven't had time to post. I promise I'll try to post more this week.
Hope everyone is doing good and that they had a terrific weekend.
Vix
Nope, it was 1975 and you're right, the heavy-handedness didn't start with lcm. I'm sure you'll understand more when I send my next installment. Bless you, George.
Vix
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bliss
Hey Vix
Just Highlight what you type then click the font button. I am still working on it myself. Then your words will change, it's tricky i know.
We are all eagerly anticipating your "next installment".
:P
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Sea
I'll give it a try, Bliss. font] :D
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