I know what you mean about society becoming so fake and I think part of it is the Society of the Always Offended that constantly sues and makes huge issues over being offended. Our extreme political correctness out of fear of these jerks suing us, has created a situation where it's so hard to trust people, much less trust them with the truth.
This public paranoia has bled over into our private lives. I, however, seem to have a knack for telling too much truth. :D-->
I agree--I want the truth--'cause as Shell pointed out I will find out anyway--especially here in AK where there is maybe 2 degrees of separation between everyone in the state--information is relayed in under 48 hours.
Case in point my friend CJ had a mild heart attack and he and his brother decided not to tell me since My mother had just died. They didn't want to worry me -->
Well within 24 hours someone else told me--As I pointed out to CJ--"now I'm not only worried I'm mad--don't ever lie to me again!!!"
I think the bigger problem is that we as asociety confuse excuses with the truth
She steals a loaf of bread
becomes "her children were hungry" --ya still stole the loaf of bread
He breaks his neighbors lawn mower becomes
" he didn't know that ther was a rock in the lawn"
He still broke the lawnmower
BUt nobody wants to 'fess up its the excuse that matters
(Did I mention that today is Venting day??? :D-->)
Case in point my friend CJ had a mild heart attack and he and his brother decided not to tell me since My mother had just died. They didn't want to worry me
Excellant point! This has been the excuse so many times when things happen and like you I am then angry on top of the emotional of it. How dare anyone determine for me what I can or can not handle?
Belle mentioned that we as a society don't want to offend. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings.
I believe we are hurting feelings and alot more if we don't have the courage.
On the more serious side, I agree. People should be told the truth about issues like this, even if it hurts. A lot of things like this cannot be glossed over- if they are, they are gonna get a heck of a lot worse.
Should we tell a 6 year old about the birds and the bees?
yes
Should we tell a 6 year old about the nitty gritty behind the birds and the bees?
no
Why? are we lying to them?
no, we are using the Right of Discretion. They simply do not need to know. Besides that information might be psychologically damaging to their young minds.
Okay I'm going to put my Womanly spin on things here
If I ask this of a male partner--what I probably want to know is "will you be ashamed to be seen/know me if I wear it?".
answer "looks okay but you're a knock out in ......" what ever it takes to get me out of said outfit.
If you're a close friend male or female I expect the truth--not harsh but --"it doesn't flatter your figure" will do it
If You're LOrna, Julie, Patty, or CJ it's
"just like the prize pig at the fair!"
But you have to let the person know that it's not the best choice--because if you don't someone else will-- if not today -- through the grapevine "Lois said you looked like you were pregnant at the fall fair" kind of deal--And trust me you will catch it 2 months down the road for not being honest
Really, I'm all for honesty. I'll shout the truth from the housetops.. but let's face it.. there have to be a FEW ground rules here. If you ask me, "am I fat?" or even "do I LOOK fat?" "Does this MAKE me look fat?".. the answer is gonna be "Noooooooooooo.." :D-->
I think that asking the man in your life if you look fat in something is really putting him on the spot and a violation of the Honey you always look beautiful to me code that is available in most healthy loving relationships.
I don't go there!!! There was a time that I did ask those kind of questions and I learned it just isn't fair to the other person.
If you really care about your relationship and the person you are involved with find someone else that can tell you the truth and you won't be tempted to think about in an intimate moment with your sweetheart!!!
1,394 people registered and showed up for a conferance on Core Beliefs In Our Society.
Part of their packet for the conferance was a question and answer form about how they interact with others.
Of that large number, only twenty-nine answered that being honest is a quality that they embrace.
TWENTY-NINE!! Out of 1,394
Also asked was 'to whom do you think it's ok to lie"
984 people said significant others, partners, spouses. Of those numbers, 590 said they regularly lie about the others weight, their relationship,sexual pleasure and desires, kids, work and bills. When asked why, the most popular answer was "because it's easier than dealing with it".
I am part of the committee to tally this stuff up and complete a report on the findings for the service group that facilitated this conferance to use in future literature and studies.
I am stunned, disappointed and very taken aback by these numbers.
Although I have to ask myself why I should be surprised, in our culture, our society.
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Belle
I'm not cheating on you, Shellon.
;)-->
I know what you mean about society becoming so fake and I think part of it is the Society of the Always Offended that constantly sues and makes huge issues over being offended. Our extreme political correctness out of fear of these jerks suing us, has created a situation where it's so hard to trust people, much less trust them with the truth.
This public paranoia has bled over into our private lives. I, however, seem to have a knack for telling too much truth.
:D-->
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templelady
Kindred Souls
I agree--I want the truth--'cause as Shell pointed out I will find out anyway--especially here in AK where there is maybe 2 degrees of separation between everyone in the state--information is relayed in under 48 hours.
Case in point my friend CJ had a mild heart attack and he and his brother decided not to tell me since My mother had just died. They didn't want to worry me
-->
Well within 24 hours someone else told me--As I pointed out to CJ--"now I'm not only worried I'm mad--don't ever lie to me again!!!"
I think the bigger problem is that we as asociety confuse excuses with the truth
She steals a loaf of bread
becomes "her children were hungry" --ya still stole the loaf of bread
He breaks his neighbors lawn mower becomes
" he didn't know that ther was a rock in the lawn"
He still broke the lawnmower
BUt nobody wants to 'fess up its the excuse that matters
(Did I mention that today is Venting day???
:D-->)
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Shellon
Excellant point! This has been the excuse so many times when things happen and like you I am then angry on top of the emotional of it. How dare anyone determine for me what I can or can not handle?
Belle mentioned that we as a society don't want to offend. We don't want to hurt someone's feelings.
I believe we are hurting feelings and alot more if we don't have the courage.
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Ham
Well, I think people are kinda weird.. some a little stranger than the rest
:)-->
Can't handle the truth? I think the context of the question (or inquisition
:D-->) must be considered with some folks.
"Do I look fat in this"? "Am I sagging, honey?"
Only one answer for those kind of questions for some people! Sometimes, the person just wants a vote of confidence.. "sure, you still look great"..
But I agree tht trying to control information is a real problem.
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Ham
"Am I sagging, honey?"
"well, nothing that a couple of personal trainers and a team of plastic surgeons couldn't fix.."
Some poor guys would end up in the hospital.
:)-->
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Ham
But I'd tell you if your slip was showing.
But the other questions, sheesh..
"Do I look fat?"
"Well, seeing I'm with da CIA, if I told you, then I'd have to kill you.."
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Ham
Sorry, heh heh.
:o-->
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Ham
Now that that little rant is over..
:)-->
On the more serious side, I agree. People should be told the truth about issues like this, even if it hurts. A lot of things like this cannot be glossed over- if they are, they are gonna get a heck of a lot worse.
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Shellon
Would you tell me if I had a booger floppin in my nose or broccoli in my teeth?
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Ham
Absolutely
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Brother Speed
Should we tell a 6 year old about the birds and the bees?
yes
Should we tell a 6 year old about the nitty gritty behind the birds and the bees?
no
Why? are we lying to them?
no, we are using the Right of Discretion. They simply do not need to know. Besides that information might be psychologically damaging to their young minds.
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Ron G.
Yes'm, I would.
But if you had a booger in your teeth and broccoli hangin out of your nose, I'd only say something if it made your butt look fat.
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templelady
"does this make me look fat"
Okay I'm going to put my Womanly spin on things here
If I ask this of a male partner--what I probably want to know is "will you be ashamed to be seen/know me if I wear it?".
answer "looks okay but you're a knock out in ......" what ever it takes to get me out of said outfit.
If you're a close friend male or female I expect the truth--not harsh but --"it doesn't flatter your figure" will do it
If You're LOrna, Julie, Patty, or CJ it's
"just like the prize pig at the fair!"
But you have to let the person know that it's not the best choice--because if you don't someone else will-- if not today -- through the grapevine "Lois said you looked like you were pregnant at the fall fair" kind of deal--And trust me you will catch it 2 months down the road for not being honest
Honest and hurtful aren't the same thing
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Brother Speed
This was emailed to me a while back. Maybe this will help.
The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guy's side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules" from the female point of view...
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It'
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you wa
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
The problem is never the problem.
Hurt people hurt people.
--Dixon Murrah
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oilfieldmedic
Really now...
Wouldn't you want to just be showered with pleasantries?
Who wouldn't want some sunshine pounde up the old wazoo?
I am from PA...I live in Alabama and I have been accused of being ..how shall I put it..."too bold"--"too honest" by some, not all!
If I may quote Patrick Henry (I think it was he that said this)..."as for me, give me the truth and stop pounding sunshine up my wazoo"
Well he said something to that effect
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oilfieldmedic
By the way, if ya can't see it, there is a mouse in that piece of cheese...ain't it cute?
Thank you Janice
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Brother Speed
what?
-->
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Ham
Really, I'm all for honesty. I'll shout the truth from the housetops.. but let's face it.. there have to be a FEW ground rules here. If you ask me, "am I fat?" or even "do I LOOK fat?" "Does this MAKE me look fat?".. the answer is gonna be "Noooooooooooo.."
:D-->
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Ham
You're not gonna get me to critique the closest thing to a slice of heaven..
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Brother Speed
alrighty then...in all honesty.
I wanna beer and I wanna see something naked.
--Jeff Foxworthy
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Ham
"but not necessarily in that order"
- Ham.
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reikilady
I think that asking the man in your life if you look fat in something is really putting him on the spot and a violation of the Honey you always look beautiful to me code that is available in most healthy loving relationships.
I don't go there!!! There was a time that I did ask those kind of questions and I learned it just isn't fair to the other person.
If you really care about your relationship and the person you are involved with find someone else that can tell you the truth and you won't be tempted to think about in an intimate moment with your sweetheart!!!
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Shellon
1,394 people registered and showed up for a conferance on Core Beliefs In Our Society.
Part of their packet for the conferance was a question and answer form about how they interact with others.
Of that large number, only twenty-nine answered that being honest is a quality that they embrace.
TWENTY-NINE!! Out of 1,394
Also asked was 'to whom do you think it's ok to lie"
984 people said significant others, partners, spouses. Of those numbers, 590 said they regularly lie about the others weight, their relationship,sexual pleasure and desires, kids, work and bills. When asked why, the most popular answer was "because it's easier than dealing with it".
I am part of the committee to tally this stuff up and complete a report on the findings for the service group that facilitated this conferance to use in future literature and studies.
I am stunned, disappointed and very taken aback by these numbers.
Although I have to ask myself why I should be surprised, in our culture, our society.
:(
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rascal
Those figures baffle me as well....It doesn`t occur to me to lie....now on occasion leave out pertinant information..... :P guilty as charged....
What I tell spouse on the phone....*Honey I let our daughter get a new puppy*...
(what I didn`t say....*it is 125 lb great dane* :o ) ....
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