The best I understand it is Ruth went to Boaz in a forbidden area (the threshing floor) where she was to lay at his feet. The Judean culture provided for the man to cover his wife's head with his mantle or robe and the skirt was a part of a robe best I understand. And this was performed during the marriage ceremony. It signified the husband's protection over the wife. By Ruth lying at Boaz's feet she was showing him she was completely submissive to him. And in this act she was asking for his protection, in essence she was asking him to marry her. And she knew she had caught his eye.
Boaz then took on the role of kinsman redeemer by marrying her and raising children in the name of Ruth's husband's bloodline. Which I understand would have been cut off. Boaz went through all the proper customs regarding if he could marry her also. But hopefully the little I understand will be of help.
Nah, I never had one of the dolls, almost bought one as an adult but thought it was silly so didn't. I never knew anyone named "irisheyes" so we probably didn't know each other. :)--> And if you hope I'm not the same Kathy you knew then I think I'm hoping I'm not also. But I actually don't talk that much which a couple may differ with but I'm the quiet one oft times. In school though I was into talking I guess because I've written I will not talk in class so many times I've no idea. And so it just seemed fitting since this was a discussion forum to name me that.
Yeah, I thought that pretty awesome myself when I'd learned she had asked him to marry her. She knew or learned what she could work within and she took a risk and accomplished her hearts goal. But I love the protection idea the male offered in the relationship. And she was just plain good people and it was great to get to know her wasn't it? :)-->
The subject of women's liberation is one I've been on both sides of the issue on. There was much good accomplished in freeing women in their thinking about having and pursuing personal goals. And in ways of wages and things of importance. And there were pioneers who did sacrifice to bring about improvement. The ways our mothers or their mothers lived is quite different than the way the majority of us women live now (in this country I speak). So there is much I'm thankful for but then there's that attitude that makes me want to slap the woman it's coming from. That part insults me as a woman when she seems to think I'm not allowed my freedom of thinking in regards to being a woman in the relationship. Which has nothing to do with doctrinal does it? :D-->
That is such an awesome explanation! Thank you Kathy! I never realized that Ruth had actually risked everything by asking Boaz to marry her. And to think, because of her rashness and boldness, it continued the line of Jesus Christ, thus letting us become the men and women that we are supposed to be.
The best I understand it is Ruth went to Boaz in a forbidden area (the threshing floor) where she was to lay at his feet. The Judean culture provided for the man to cover his wife's head with his mantle or robe and the skirt was a part of a robe best I understand. And this was performed during the marriage ceremony. It signified the husband's protection over the wife. By Ruth lying at Boaz's feet she was showing him she was completely submissive to him. And in this act she was asking for his protection, in essence she was asking him to marry her. And she knew she had caught his eye.
Boaz then took on the role of kinsman redeemer by marrying her and raising children in the name of Ruth's husband's bloodline. Which I understand would have been cut off. Boaz went through all the proper customs regarding if he could marry her also. But hopefully the little I understand will be of help.
I don't think of it as "raising children in the name of Ruth's husband's bloodline.
Other than that I agree.
The reason I disagree on this point:
Matthew 1:1 "The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of
Abraham."
Matthew 1:5 "And Salmon begat Boaz of Rahab, and Boaz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed
begat Jesse;" (Yes, Jesse who begat David.)
Seems to me that Boaz' name wouldn't have been included if it was legally someone ELSE's
bloodline. To me, it seems a matter of how being a widow was seen as a stigma, and how the custom was for another member of the husband's family would have to marry her to erase that stigma. Perhaps we're talking apples and oranges.
Ruth's commitment was pretty clear before she met Boaz, too.
Ruth 1:16c "...thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:"
And, of course, Ruth is one of 4 women mentioned by name in the geneology of Jesus Christ,
This is really curious. I think Boaz was in the royal bloodline and Ruth helped things along, no? Boaz was related to Ruth's husband. They could easily have had the same name, huh? So, now I am totally confused, but I don't have the time to stop and look it up now. Any input? -->
Boaz was one of the relatives of Elimelech, husband of Naomi; a wealthy Judean, living at Bethlehem in Judah (Ruth ii. 1). He was one of the kinsmen of Ruth; as such he had the privilege of redeeming the family estate sold by Naomi after Elimelech's death. Therefore when Ruth appealed to his kinship, he redeemed the property (Ruth iii. 9, iv. 3). In consequence of this he had to marry Ruth, in order "to raise up the name of the dead" (Ruth iv. 5, 10). Their son Obed was, according to tradition, the grandfather of David (Ruth iv. 22).
Yeah, I thought that pretty awesome myself when I'd learned she had asked him to marry her. She knew or learned what she could work within and she took a risk and accomplished her hearts goal. But I love the protection idea the male offered in the relationship. And she was just plain good people and it was great to get to know her wasn't it? :)-->
The subject of women's liberation is one I've been on both sides of the issue on. There was much good accomplished in freeing women in their thinking about having and pursuing personal goals. And in ways of wages and things of importance. And there were pioneers who did sacrifice to bring about improvement. The ways our mothers or their mothers lived is quite different than the way the majority of us women live now (in this country I speak). So there is much I'm thankful for but then there's that attitude that makes me want to slap the woman it's coming from. That part insults me as a woman when she seems to think I'm not allowed my freedom of thinking in regards to being a woman in the relationship. Which has nothing to do with doctrinal does it? :D-->
chatty Kathy
this is an amazing thing you just said.
I guess I always considered my self as a front runner you know self reliant able to support the family. do it all. I have looked at stay at home moms and good wifes as woman with a "less than" life.
Honestly I still do not get alot of what they think are troubles in life, When a woman says "I cant". "because my husband said so" it always grates me like a knife in my stomach.
I honestly do not get it. I often thought well she is being controlled or using her husband name in this situation.
I recently got over this arrogant attitude and reading your post is right on.
a woman has a right to form and be in a relationship with her husband anyway she choses. I know it must be alot of work to kep a marriage stable and happy, although I never succeeded at it.
i think at times I may have attacked the whole concept as wrong with an arrogant attitude.
I have grown up. I try to understand now or at least not judge into what it must be like when truly I have no idea.
It is still a very threateningthing to be a single or widowed although you do get more respect if theydie instead of just leaving ya , in America today.
I never wanted pity I chose to be single and what got me to that attitude was thinking I was less than what we are suppose to be as woman of God and america's ideals as well.
I have changed. I think woman in general should leave one another alone in how we do decide to live out our life.
no right no wrong.
your post helped me alot and was very clear to me as written by a lady who is very wise and sure of who she is.
Thank you for your great consideration of my post as evidenced in the things you spoke of. And I've never been a single mom or even a single adult for that matter which limits my understanding as fully as you. So what's left for me in such things is ask myself if I believe in a standard of some sort and since I've been a Christian my entire life I've nearly always turned to that direction. But I fail miserably some moments and then others I'm on top of my game and know it. What I've found in the past few years is balance. Which is part of why you think I may sound wise and sure of who I am. And MJ those words were very gracious and I don't feel quite up to the calling but thank you for them.
I suspect there must be a survival skill that comes in somewhere along the way to be a single parent. To have to take on the full responsibility. I admire parents that do it every day and add to the good of mankind as they do.
The role of a wife and mother has changed so much that even that would have a different look to us looking in. I can't recall when I was real young the parents running about with the kids to this sports practice or that function. And that's one simple example. But I watched my mother be the stay home type until I got into high school then she went to work and I being the eldest picked up some of the slack and I recall thinking that she'd done a great deal more around the house than I'd ever given her credit for. And the house didn't run as smoothly once she was working but that was necessary, it was called work to help make ends meet.
I guess for me the rub on the movement was being told I couldn't enjoy the protection of a man. And there's more to all this but I have already derailed it so shall stop on that.
I'm touched that you found something of worth in my words so that you could fit some pieces together for yourself. Ain't that fun when we do that for each other? I just love it! :)-->
As with everything, there are pros and cons. Now, with being single, like you said you don't enjoy the protection that you have when you're in a marriage relationship. But, you also don't have to answer to anybody else. If you have a passion for something, all you have to answer to is God. You don't have to answer to another.
Being a single mother is harder at times, but if you have a support system, not impossible. My children are all grown and each are successful in their own ways, so I guess I've done my job.
I've been both married and single. I can't say that one is better than the other; just different.
I can understand the concept of not having to answer to anybody else even though I went from my mother to my husband so have little personal experience. Yet I'm allowed more room now than ever before while in twi and for that I'm very grateful. And I no longer feel it's his way or no way so I guess much has been learned on his part since our departure from the farm down the road.
I hope it is in the past as my own are growing up and haivng theirs and my daughters fear is she might have to end up being single with kids.
I hope not. I really do but I do not always get what being married is for the good part anyway.
I worked with a lady who worked part time. husband and kids always taking time off always leaving early.
that I feel left me also a mom and new grandma "picking up the slack" I am wrong.
I think ladies who have never had to survive do not know what it is like. to be the only one.
I thinksurvivers are indifferent. we survive.
Im really hope IM done. I would not have traded my life for anything. I never wanted to see the other type of life. I am not a single looking for a partner , I was and am determined .
my boss was going to get a divorce , after she met me, i live in alot of freedom. compared to a stale old marrige with kids and bills. etc.
I tried to tell her I do not get it. at times I even laughed at her issues because I really do not get, (no more than they get me) so I said Look after twenty you cant be single anymore than I could probably make a marriage work as well as you have.
She just got this position the family is changing she is no longer the house wife and mom ,,,, tough change I guess I really do not know the transition as I never had that.
in fact those around (the family) do not like losing mom and woman of the house if it is a famous role for you and will not help much. single people know how to pace the world in a different manner I believe it is a learned skill. that is on the good side they may have alot more endurance but less tolerance for emotional issues.
I already know that if I were not married I'd still need a man in my life. That's my personal preference and the reasons are many. And I know that sounds dependent on my part, and I can't dispute there isn't that in the mix but the bigger picture is I prefer the companionship and I adore the protection and care.
As to ladies not having to survive and therefore not be able to understand being the only one. Oh MJ dear girl, I've been alone in a room full of people. I've survived things no one should have had to. But I just haven't done it as a single adult.
You had stated "I thinksurvivers are indifferent. we survive."
On my part, I'd like to differ. As a survivor of many things that no person should have to go through, I don't consider myself as indifferent. I consider myself a victor and proud to be a survivor. I believe going through some of the things that I have has instead given me more compassion towards the hurting and broken-hearted, because I've been there.
That would be good. but sometimes if not recoving well from heartbreak or struggles and if your not able to change a routine or habit of being a victim , it becomes draining and exhuasting.
I work with a woman who does poor work because she cant get over her bad marriage or kids. She thinks everyone has to pick up the slack .
Well we cant meaning in life we cant fix another issues. We can care but if a person can not get their act together it is personal.
I have seen married woman not have to becausethey are working to get out of the house or away from their children and their problems. it is draining. I have seen single people driven to the point of surviving life that it very well not be worth living.
God led Ruth to her husband and her husband obeyed the lord this is a record of obediance that was rewarded. We need to slay our personal "stuff" to reach His level of commintment. .
As a widow and single mother, this thread about Ruth fascinates me, while at the same time ... well I don't know for sure.
I would agree some with MJ's comment about society treating the widow differantly, but can also add that society doesn't know what to do with the widow; especially the young ones.
For me, I was 37 when my husband died. The last eight years have held society accountable for comments that astound, shock and pain.
I think we as women are made of extremely strong material and we don't 'need' a man. We want the companionship that Kathy mentioned and it's nice to have the spiders killed and the mice chased off by him. It's wonderful to have the support during crisis moments and the intimacy that relationships offer.
But a young widow is somehow broken to our society. "oh that poor thing" is heard often.
In addition children who lose their father young are viewed differantly by our society. My babies were 2 and 15 when their father died and talk about not knowing what to do with ME... whoa, those kids were totally lost in society's confusion.
I recently wandered around looking for information on Martha. Should have asked ya'll for input, eh?
Eight years as a widow has taught me that I can do many many things I'd never have attempted married, because I didn't have to. I've adjusted to a life without a man and it was not bad after a few years of acceptance went by and I reached the place of understanding I had to do what was necessary.
I find that I haven't even begun!
Recently there is a man in my life and I'm spending alot of time contemplating.
I think our culture endores marriage and ma,pa buddy and sis alot more than being a single woman .
If your a window it is legit something bad happend to ya.
if your divorced with kids your flawed unable to keep the marriage together. or looking for a new man.
I cant buy either role in life.
a sinlge man who has never had kids ormarried ends up in a wisper of "do ya thinkhemight be gay?" I have heard itin my own life after a number of years of being single and I have children!
today a woman can own property can do alot of things without a man.
but men and woman still have a mindset we probably shouldnt .
Im sorry but look at Martha! cough well maybe her saving grace is she is in the business of homemaking and housewiving .
if she was a top notch lawyer and single people would talk even worse. what is the problem well she has not quite made it if she does not have a family ie a man and kids to care for.
not a full life.
I think it is tough being single but from my view point it is worse to be married. you know I try bloom where IM planted A man has never asked me, I had the priveldge of children and never wanted a grown one to take care of. still do not. crap after being married for a chunk of life how does one go on and be single and happy? and after being single how does one adapt to life of compromising and sharing?
Eight years as a widow has taught me that I can do many many things I'd never have attempted married, because I didn't have to. I've adjusted to a life without a man and it was not bad after a few years of acceptance went by and I reached the place of understanding I had to do what was necessary.
I find that I haven't even begun!
and that is the problem Shelon.
woman my age who would NEVER even thinking of being the sole bread winner for the family or making compromising choices that single parents sometimes have to. DO NOT GET IT>
they get angry at the freedom, I have had more than one man tell his wife Im not a good influence and to stay away from me.
When my friend says she can not do something because of her husband or kids, I cringe, also some use the family as an excuse to never grow as a person. to never explore life.
my daughter is much more lazy than I ever was because he will do it.
it is assumed. I never assume a man will do any dam thing for me. lol.
I had a very heavy thng in my car for two freaking weeks trying to figure out how the heck I can get it in the house. My son in law came over and my daughter told him to do it.
I said no thanks and then then said ok.
this can get overboard this I can do it alone thing. I get it. BUT again in as much as I do not know how to rely on a man to do it, I feel good about not having to. understand?
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ChattyKathy
The best I understand it is Ruth went to Boaz in a forbidden area (the threshing floor) where she was to lay at his feet. The Judean culture provided for the man to cover his wife's head with his mantle or robe and the skirt was a part of a robe best I understand. And this was performed during the marriage ceremony. It signified the husband's protection over the wife. By Ruth lying at Boaz's feet she was showing him she was completely submissive to him. And in this act she was asking for his protection, in essence she was asking him to marry her. And she knew she had caught his eye.
Boaz then took on the role of kinsman redeemer by marrying her and raising children in the name of Ruth's husband's bloodline. Which I understand would have been cut off. Boaz went through all the proper customs regarding if he could marry her also. But hopefully the little I understand will be of help.
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irisheyes
Did you own the doll by that name? What a thing to call yourself. I only remember one Kathy back then and I hope you're not her.
Anyway, I found some neat stuff since this a.m. and you are very right. She was asking him to marry her. Talk about women's lib!!
Queen of the Night!
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ChattyKathy
Nah, I never had one of the dolls, almost bought one as an adult but thought it was silly so didn't. I never knew anyone named "irisheyes" so we probably didn't know each other.
:)--> And if you hope I'm not the same Kathy you knew then I think I'm hoping I'm not also. But I actually don't talk that much which a couple may differ with but I'm the quiet one oft times. In school though I was into talking I guess because I've written I will not talk in class so many times I've no idea. And so it just seemed fitting since this was a discussion forum to name me that.
Yeah, I thought that pretty awesome myself when I'd learned she had asked him to marry her. She knew or learned what she could work within and she took a risk and accomplished her hearts goal. But I love the protection idea the male offered in the relationship. And she was just plain good people and it was great to get to know her wasn't it?
:)-->
The subject of women's liberation is one I've been on both sides of the issue on. There was much good accomplished in freeing women in their thinking about having and pursuing personal goals. And in ways of wages and things of importance. And there were pioneers who did sacrifice to bring about improvement. The ways our mothers or their mothers lived is quite different than the way the majority of us women live now (in this country I speak). So there is much I'm thankful for but then there's that attitude that makes me want to slap the woman it's coming from.
That part insults me as a woman when she seems to think I'm not allowed my freedom of thinking in regards to being a woman in the relationship. Which has nothing to do with doctrinal does it? 
:D-->
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moony3424
That is such an awesome explanation! Thank you Kathy! I never realized that Ruth had actually risked everything by asking Boaz to marry her. And to think, because of her rashness and boldness, it continued the line of Jesus Christ, thus letting us become the men and women that we are supposed to be.
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ChattyKathy
She was outstanding as were so many folks. But there were other such women but I guess I should try to avoid derailing. For once!
-->
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WordWolf
I don't think of it as "raising children in the name of Ruth's husband's bloodline.
Other than that I agree.
The reason I disagree on this point:
Matthew 1:1 "The book of the generation of Jesus Christ, the son of David, the son of
Abraham."
Matthew 1:5 "And Salmon begat Boaz of Rahab, and Boaz begat Obed of Ruth; and Obed
begat Jesse;" (Yes, Jesse who begat David.)
Seems to me that Boaz' name wouldn't have been included if it was legally someone ELSE's
bloodline. To me, it seems a matter of how being a widow was seen as a stigma, and how the custom was for another member of the husband's family would have to marry her to erase that stigma. Perhaps we're talking apples and oranges.
Ruth's commitment was pretty clear before she met Boaz, too.
Ruth 1:16c "...thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:"
And, of course, Ruth is one of 4 women mentioned by name in the geneology of Jesus Christ,
which means she was singled out as noteworthy.
{"God has a purpose for everything He says...")
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irisheyes
This is really curious. I think Boaz was in the royal bloodline and Ruth helped things along, no? Boaz was related to Ruth's husband. They could easily have had the same name, huh? So, now I am totally confused, but I don't have the time to stop and look it up now. Any input?
-->
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ChattyKathy
Boaz was one of the relatives of Elimelech, husband of Naomi; a wealthy Judean, living at Bethlehem in Judah (Ruth ii. 1). He was one of the kinsmen of Ruth; as such he had the privilege of redeeming the family estate sold by Naomi after Elimelech's death. Therefore when Ruth appealed to his kinship, he redeemed the property (Ruth iii. 9, iv. 3). In consequence of this he had to marry Ruth, in order "to raise up the name of the dead" (Ruth iv. 5, 10). Their son Obed was, according to tradition, the grandfather of David (Ruth iv. 22).
I'm busy at work but hopefully this will help.
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mj412
chatty Kathy
this is an amazing thing you just said.
I guess I always considered my self as a front runner you know self reliant able to support the family. do it all. I have looked at stay at home moms and good wifes as woman with a "less than" life.
Honestly I still do not get alot of what they think are troubles in life, When a woman says "I cant". "because my husband said so" it always grates me like a knife in my stomach.
I honestly do not get it. I often thought well she is being controlled or using her husband name in this situation.
I recently got over this arrogant attitude and reading your post is right on.
a woman has a right to form and be in a relationship with her husband anyway she choses. I know it must be alot of work to kep a marriage stable and happy, although I never succeeded at it.
i think at times I may have attacked the whole concept as wrong with an arrogant attitude.
I have grown up. I try to understand now or at least not judge into what it must be like when truly I have no idea.
It is still a very threateningthing to be a single or widowed although you do get more respect if theydie instead of just leaving ya , in America today.
I never wanted pity I chose to be single and what got me to that attitude was thinking I was less than what we are suppose to be as woman of God and america's ideals as well.
I have changed. I think woman in general should leave one another alone in how we do decide to live out our life.
no right no wrong.
your post helped me alot and was very clear to me as written by a lady who is very wise and sure of who she is.
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ChattyKathy
MJ,
Thank you for your great consideration of my post as evidenced in the things you spoke of. And I've never been a single mom or even a single adult for that matter which limits my understanding as fully as you. So what's left for me in such things is ask myself if I believe in a standard of some sort and since I've been a Christian my entire life I've nearly always turned to that direction. But I fail miserably some moments and then others I'm on top of my game and know it. What I've found in the past few years is balance. Which is part of why you think I may sound wise and sure of who I am. And MJ those words were very gracious and I don't feel quite up to the calling but thank you for them.
I suspect there must be a survival skill that comes in somewhere along the way to be a single parent. To have to take on the full responsibility. I admire parents that do it every day and add to the good of mankind as they do.
The role of a wife and mother has changed so much that even that would have a different look to us looking in. I can't recall when I was real young the parents running about with the kids to this sports practice or that function. And that's one simple example. But I watched my mother be the stay home type until I got into high school then she went to work and I being the eldest picked up some of the slack and I recall thinking that she'd done a great deal more around the house than I'd ever given her credit for. And the house didn't run as smoothly once she was working but that was necessary, it was called work to help make ends meet.
I guess for me the rub on the movement was being told I couldn't enjoy the protection of a man. And there's more to all this but I have already derailed it so shall stop on that.
I'm touched that you found something of worth in my words so that you could fit some pieces together for yourself. Ain't that fun when we do that for each other? I just love it!
:)-->
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moony3424
Kathy
As with everything, there are pros and cons. Now, with being single, like you said you don't enjoy the protection that you have when you're in a marriage relationship. But, you also don't have to answer to anybody else. If you have a passion for something, all you have to answer to is God. You don't have to answer to another.
Being a single mother is harder at times, but if you have a support system, not impossible. My children are all grown and each are successful in their own ways, so I guess I've done my job.
I've been both married and single. I can't say that one is better than the other; just different.
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ChattyKathy
I can understand the concept of not having to answer to anybody else even though I went from my mother to my husband so have little personal experience. Yet I'm allowed more room now than ever before while in twi and for that I'm very grateful. And I no longer feel it's his way or no way so I guess much has been learned on his part since our departure from the farm down the road.
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mj412
I have been defensive .
I hope it is in the past as my own are growing up and haivng theirs and my daughters fear is she might have to end up being single with kids.
I hope not. I really do but I do not always get what being married is for the good part anyway.
I worked with a lady who worked part time. husband and kids always taking time off always leaving early.
that I feel left me also a mom and new grandma "picking up the slack" I am wrong.
I think ladies who have never had to survive do not know what it is like. to be the only one.
I thinksurvivers are indifferent. we survive.
Im really hope IM done. I would not have traded my life for anything. I never wanted to see the other type of life. I am not a single looking for a partner , I was and am determined .
my boss was going to get a divorce , after she met me, i live in alot of freedom. compared to a stale old marrige with kids and bills. etc.
I tried to tell her I do not get it. at times I even laughed at her issues because I really do not get, (no more than they get me) so I said Look after twenty you cant be single anymore than I could probably make a marriage work as well as you have.
She just got this position the family is changing she is no longer the house wife and mom ,,,, tough change I guess I really do not know the transition as I never had that.
in fact those around (the family) do not like losing mom and woman of the house if it is a famous role for you and will not help much. single people know how to pace the world in a different manner I believe it is a learned skill. that is on the good side they may have alot more endurance but less tolerance for emotional issues.
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ChattyKathy
I already know that if I were not married I'd still need a man in my life. That's my personal preference and the reasons are many. And I know that sounds dependent on my part, and I can't dispute there isn't that in the mix but the bigger picture is I prefer the companionship and I adore the protection and care.
As to ladies not having to survive and therefore not be able to understand being the only one. Oh MJ dear girl, I've been alone in a room full of people. I've survived things no one should have had to. But I just haven't done it as a single adult.
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moony3424
MJ
You had stated "I thinksurvivers are indifferent. we survive."
On my part, I'd like to differ. As a survivor of many things that no person should have to go through, I don't consider myself as indifferent. I consider myself a victor and proud to be a survivor. I believe going through some of the things that I have has instead given me more compassion towards the hurting and broken-hearted, because I've been there.
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mj412
I was talking about working mostly.
More compassionate? maybe.
That would be good. but sometimes if not recoving well from heartbreak or struggles and if your not able to change a routine or habit of being a victim , it becomes draining and exhuasting.
I work with a woman who does poor work because she cant get over her bad marriage or kids. She thinks everyone has to pick up the slack .
Well we cant meaning in life we cant fix another issues. We can care but if a person can not get their act together it is personal.
I have seen married woman not have to becausethey are working to get out of the house or away from their children and their problems. it is draining. I have seen single people driven to the point of surviving life that it very well not be worth living.
God led Ruth to her husband and her husband obeyed the lord this is a record of obediance that was rewarded. We need to slay our personal "stuff" to reach His level of commintment. .
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Shellon
As a widow and single mother, this thread about Ruth fascinates me, while at the same time ... well I don't know for sure.
I would agree some with MJ's comment about society treating the widow differantly, but can also add that society doesn't know what to do with the widow; especially the young ones.
For me, I was 37 when my husband died. The last eight years have held society accountable for comments that astound, shock and pain.
I think we as women are made of extremely strong material and we don't 'need' a man. We want the companionship that Kathy mentioned and it's nice to have the spiders killed and the mice chased off by him. It's wonderful to have the support during crisis moments and the intimacy that relationships offer.
But a young widow is somehow broken to our society. "oh that poor thing" is heard often.
In addition children who lose their father young are viewed differantly by our society. My babies were 2 and 15 when their father died and talk about not knowing what to do with ME... whoa, those kids were totally lost in society's confusion.
I recently wandered around looking for information on Martha. Should have asked ya'll for input, eh?
Eight years as a widow has taught me that I can do many many things I'd never have attempted married, because I didn't have to. I've adjusted to a life without a man and it was not bad after a few years of acceptance went by and I reached the place of understanding I had to do what was necessary.
I find that I haven't even begun!
Recently there is a man in my life and I'm spending alot of time contemplating.
It's a good place to be.
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mj412
I think our culture endores marriage and ma,pa buddy and sis alot more than being a single woman .
If your a window it is legit something bad happend to ya.
if your divorced with kids your flawed unable to keep the marriage together. or looking for a new man.
I cant buy either role in life.
a sinlge man who has never had kids ormarried ends up in a wisper of "do ya thinkhemight be gay?" I have heard itin my own life after a number of years of being single and I have children!
today a woman can own property can do alot of things without a man.
but men and woman still have a mindset we probably shouldnt .
Im sorry but look at Martha! cough well maybe her saving grace is she is in the business of homemaking and housewiving .
if she was a top notch lawyer and single people would talk even worse. what is the problem well she has not quite made it if she does not have a family ie a man and kids to care for.
not a full life.
I think it is tough being single but from my view point it is worse to be married. you know I try bloom where IM planted A man has never asked me, I had the priveldge of children and never wanted a grown one to take care of. still do not. crap after being married for a chunk of life how does one go on and be single and happy? and after being single how does one adapt to life of compromising and sharing?
I suppose it can be done. maybe it should.
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mj412
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