The Lemonade Stand

[laleo]

According to the introduction page, one major purpose of GreaseSpot is to "tell the other side of the story" -- what was really happening in the backrooms while you were sitting in the front row studying the flipcharts and and practicing cliches. And it's been a real eye-opener, hasn't it?

But is that the entire story?

Some say it isn't.

They have another "other" side of the story, and that is the story of how they've learned from and used their Way experience to make a better life for themselves. That's right. A better life.

Are you a better person for having lived the life you've lived? I hope so. And I'd like to hear about it.

What are your success stories? (If you don't have one, this is not the thread for you. Move along, please.)

Was it all suffering, loss, and bitter defeat? If not, what did you gain? How did you find what was good?

This isn't a thread for dogma or doctrine. Nor is it a whitewash. But if beneath the anger and disappointment, the disillusion and despair, you've found that polished gem among the debris, I'd like to hear about it.

If you've made lemonade out of the lemons, this is the thread for you.

Any takers?

[Belle]

Laleo, I'm afraid that if I started listing the ways my life is better after having left TWI, that it would be boring to many.

It's been so enriching to learn about other cultures, other beiefs, other research material that I would have been otherwise un-allowed to study.

Life as a whole? SOOOOOoooooo much better! A better job, closer to home, with more respect for my abilities, no toll road fees, better pay, closer friends - true friends who will be and always have been there, no matter what - better family relationships, more hope for the future - and real hope at that, not just ethernet hope ---- Freedom to be me!! Freedom to ask questions!!! Freedom to grow auxano truly!

[laleo]

Belle: Thanks for your post.

How is your life better for having been in The Way? In other words, what has improved in your life as a result of something you experienced and/or learned during your involvement? And I don't necessarily mean that you still agree with the teachings or anything like that, but how are you better off because of it?

[def59]

I learned how to spot anal-retentive jerks at the drop of a hat.

:D-->

[laleo]

Is that because it takes one to know one? ;)-->

Anything else that helped you out?

[satori001]

I may be better for having gotten a certain zeal for pie out of my system.

Before discovering The Way, I believed in pie. Not just any pie. The "Pie in the Sky."

Along came The Way, and it promised me the Pie in the Sky, By and By. How did I know they meant, figuratively speaking, a pie in the face?

Well, my appetite for pie has sure diminished considerably thanks to The Way. Sure, I still read the occasional self-help manual or cosmic revelation, but I don't go out of my way for them any longer.

I'm therefore a much better person than I once was, because I didn't throw the entire baby out with the bathwater, I feel I can have my cake and eat it too, right here on terra firma. I'm a much improved individual. Thank The Way!

[ex10]

laleo,

Fantastic question you asked.

My answer is that I'm a way better parent than I would've been without the way.

I ain't stupid, I ain't naive. Almost anything my kids come up with......been there done that, with more energy than they could imagine. :)-->

[laleo]

satori: If you're improved now, comparatively speaking, maybe I should be glad I didn't know you then. I shudder to think . . .

Actually, living in the here and now is a gift, and I like it a lot better than living for the hereafter (not that I ever really did).

A couple of things got me to thinking about this. The first was a minor thing. Last week or so, I was driving to work obsessing over some minor crisis, and a Bible verse came to mind. It was just enough to help me look at things from another angle, and shift perspective. I knew right then that all was well, and everything would turn out okay, and it did.

The second is too complicated to explain, but it involves the role of cults in postponing forgiveness (I was thinking of Cindy Sheehan), and how cults might even soften the blow of a loss, and help the person who is grieving keep his life organized until he's ready to face life -- which isn't necessarily an entirely bad thing, although it likely adds another layer of betrayal. Anyway, even with that in mind, people often find transcendence in the whole experience and become maybe more compassionate, or more tolerant, or more aware for having experienced it all.

[laleo]

So good to see you, ex10. It's been awhile.

Yeah, every now and then I shock my kids with a confession. But mostly they try to protect me, as if I haven't seen and done it all already.

Did your kids make the transition with you? My oldest was too young (she only has two memories of The Way, both from the ROA; one, the rides on the "mystery train," and the other is the smell). My youngest two weren't born yet.

[satori001]

quote:

Originally posted by laleo:

satori: If you're improved now, comparatively speaking, maybe I should be glad I didn't know you then. I shudder to think . . .

I guess I wasn't really thinking of "the hope," as much as my ship coming in. A giant pie, with a sail on it. A pie on the sea, then.

One improvement is how handy I became with figures of speech, but I digress.

I've always had the sense that esoteric, metaphysical knowledge (a la PFAL's "keys") would come along to help me save the world, and of course myself in the bargain. A pipe dream to be sure, and I don't know the first thing about plumbing, but there were so many "witnesses" to the contrary that I persuaded myself to eschew common sense, embrace skewed logic, and give it a try.

Words like "hope" had much more immediate significance to me.

I agree it's a happier existence to live for this life, and let the next take care of itself.

[WordWolf]

I believe I learned some useful Bible stuff.

Whether I learned anything else WITH it, or whether I would

have learned it elsewhere, are outside the scope of this thread.

[bliss]

I am a much better person for having been involved because.......

I learned organizaton skills

I learned the bible( set me on a path for truth anyway).

I learned how to raise kids better(seen both sides).

I did learn how to think "positive", may be cliche but it has helped me change the outcome of many situations just based on "how I respond" to a crisis.

I have a lot more that I learned going through the truth here on GS, but that is another thread. :)-->

" I need a little less hard times, I need a little more bliss...."

[Juan Cruz]

Laleo,

strictly speaking, probably only the first three that follow are what you're looking for,

but God forbid that anyone should mistake my lemonade for cherry juice - it was made out of LEMONS - the last items make that clear - and they are postive (negative) learnings that enhance my life and make my work easier... like learning to walk around manholes is a good idea.

I learned:

-how enjoyable it is to be a full-time Christian

-how interesting and holy the Bible is (though later learning far surpasses the fatal erroneous inerrant stance of TWI)

-the art of public speaking (which I do for a living)

-just how it can come about that well-meaning, sincere people can be Way screwed up and not know it and how to live in the same world with them (valuable these past 5 years).

-the dynamics of mass hysteria and the dangers of fundamentalism

sorry, I fear this lemonade has too many lemons!

-the sweetest drink was from my parents, my community, my family, my friends, my own values, my church etc. It was nice to return to them after my sour sojourn.

[Ham]

quote:

Is that because it takes one to know one?

For me, perhaps. I can see a numb-brained, controlling, over-zealous religious SOB a mile away. ;)--> True, I WAS one.

Is this an improvement in life? Maybe not for me, but maybe others I might be able to help..

But how did the experience directly improve my condition.. lessee..

Well, I am not "anally retentive" about it, but I am rather organized, as far as the material stuff around me, for the most part..

Learning the greek alphabet helped a little- with math and physics and stuff, I can actually write and pronounce the little symbols correctly.

I don't have nightmares over losing vast sums of money I likely would have earned, and not have given away..

But the greatest "success" I can think of- during my vey experience, I sired two of the greatest kids this side of the west coast. Others actually agree with this assessment. I don't know how much of this is a reflection on me, or ministry involvement..

[Pirate1974]

I guess I'll just be moving along.

[mj412]

I also learned that sincere well meaning people who tell you they are smarter and wiser and better can be as messed up and wrong as anyone eles.

big learning in that.

leaving the way gave me an attitude.

I walk this earth knowing I can take it all and still stand and( yes maybe alone) on what it is that makes me look forward .

hard to explain but I remember a BIG mistake in my life, everyday. and God almighty pulled me and mine thro it all.

So Im thankful.

I learned prayer works.

I learned the bible has answers for my life.

I learned Jesus really will never forsake me but a good share of my friends and family just might at any given moment.

I learned people are a gift from God.

I learned to NEVER look at the outside circumstance of any person to get the full scope on what he/she may be doing in my life before I decide what to do with them.

that is huge.

I learned I can lose it all and scrap back up in time to find life a trip and fun and not to worry so much.

I learned sometimes my worse enemy can turn out to be my best lesson ever.

I really learned I can not fix other people and their problems and to take care of my own first and foremost..

I learned to never take anothers word for what the bible/God may mean for my life.

I learned God just keeps loving us and He is never angry or mean to the point of hurting anyone EVER.

that is huge as well.

are any of these lemonaid?

[Oakspear]

I've learned useful organizational skills that I have put into practice in my job and around the house.

For all the jokes we tell here about stringing chairs, the attention to detail that TWI insisted upon has helped me in organizing many events for work, Boy Scouts, etc.

I was never much for managing my money until TWI started "encouraging" us to keep track of every penny. I'm much more together with my finances these days.

Of course, I had to put up with a lot crap to learn these things, and I could have learned them in other places, but I did, in fact learn them.

[Bramble]

I met my husband--he was one of the wows that got me into PFAL. We have three wonderful children. Since we were from very different areas of the country, I doubt I would ever have met him except for the wow program.

I can recognise boundary jumpers and control freaks very quickly now, which I certainly couldn't do as a young girl. Hopefully I can communicate this knowledge and ability to my own children and friends.

[Abigail]

Well for starters, and probably the biggest benefit was that I got sober and off drugs.

As scary as this may seem in retrospect, my fellow TWIer's were the most normal people I ever knew, up to that point in my life.

I was very young and lost, terrified of trying to make it in a world I was clueless about. TWI became my parents. They raised me and taught me how to take responsibility for myself and my choices. When I was done being raised and ready to try my own wings - I did. For all the bad in TWI that I experienced, and there was plenty, I doubt I would be the person I am today and I really like who I am today.

[George Aar]

I learned that it's quite common for people to desire and look for a magical solution to all of life's problems. I also learned that once we've invested a bit of ourselves in whatever dogma we were drawn to, it's VERY difficult to give it up.

So I do thank WayWorld for reminding me that religion is simply something people choose to believe. There is no real, verifiable evidence of any of it. To believe you must want to, and also must spend a least a portion of your time stopping your ears and going "la,la,la,la" so as to reduce the effect of the real world creeping in.

Yes, so I am tremendously blessed in that I no longer spend any time trying to keep myself indoctrinated in mythologies. The real world may be harsh at times (and yes, I'm keenly aware of that at the present), but it's where I choose to live, and I wouldn't have it any other way...

[GeorgeStGeorge]

I'm not going to get into "Well, I could have learned this elsewhere" because I HAVE NO IDEA what my life would have been like without the time I was in TWI, and it's ridiculous to speculate about it.

What I did learn from TWI:

Salvation is by grace, not works. (Cf. the RC doctrine I had dealt with prior.)

The Bible makes sense. :)-->

I can forgive others because God HAS FORGIVEN me.

Jesus was a man, not God. (To me, this makes his sacrifice much more poignant.)

I have the privilege of sharing what I know to help others. -->

What I learned from TWI's mistakes: Teaching someone to be strong doesn't mean teaching them to be hard-hearted.

There's more; but that's what comes to mind immediately.

George

[laleo]

quote:

Originally posted by WordWolf:

I believe I learned some useful Bible stuff.

Whether I learned anything else WITH it, or whether I would have learned it elsewhere, are outside the scope of this thread.

Did you get your attention to detail (close reading skills) from The Way? Or were you already predisposed to it?

By the way, thanks for regaling my daughter with your Harry Potter facts. She thinks you're brilliant.

[laleo]

bliss: I learned organizational skills, too. I just don't use them. Somehow, after I left, genetics and temperament took over, and I've abandoned all hope of keeping to any sort of schedule. But it's good to know (and be impressed by) how others manage to stay so organized.

That "positive thinking" stuff has helped me from time to time, too. I'm (usually) able to pull myself out of a funk. Maybe not immediately, like we were expected to do in Twig, but eventually.

Juan Cruz: I'm not comfortable with public speaking, but I do well in small groups. If I attend any small group for any period of time, eventually I manage to be in charge, if only because I fall back on those Twig leading skills, and find a way for each person to participate.

Speaking of which, do you have any book recommendations along the lines of Traveling Mercies? Last fall I ended up joining a group that was reading A New Kind of Christian (don't bother with it, if you haven't read it, or at least I wasn't impressed). We did Lamott next, then Blue Like Jazz (if you haven't read it, it tends a little more toward conservative Christianity -- "Lamott on testosterone" the book jacket says -- but was a good read). We're now close to being ready for something else. What's next? Something contemporary, if you have any thoughts.

[laleo]

Mr. Hammeroni: No one taught me the Greek alphabet. I missed out.

I don't have those nightmares, either. Thank God we've been spared, huh?

Pirate: Really? Nothing? Nothing at all?

mj412: "I really learned I can not fix other people and their problems and to take care of my own first and foremost." That was a big one for me, too. Good lesson.

Oakspear: I learned that I can live with just about anyone, after what I had to put up with in Way Homes, WOW families, and such, which has definitely helped me over the past couple of decades. So, thanks.

More later.

[Juan Cruz]

Laleo,

For your reading group:

Consider "Meeting Jesus Again For the First Time" by Marcus Borg. He challanges our preconceptions in way that's full of intellectual integrity but also pastoral sensibility.

Would my good friend George Aar like him? I'd like to think so.