Walking on Water with Chris

[Ham]

You really oughta publish this stuff, heh heh.

Something like "The Far Side out of der Vey"..

I'd buy it.

[Juan Cruz]

thanks Hammeroni!

say 'hi' to your brother, Beef!

[Juan Cruz]

I have dedicated my literary life to arcane insider jokes for Way-o-bites.

to my friends:

JC: "Hey I wrote a poem last night."

"Oh, can i see it?"

(They're nice)

JC: Well, it really doesn't make any sense unless you were in the Way."

"Oh"

[Ham]

Mr. Beef sends his regards..

You can call me just "Ham" if you like.

I chose my login in a funny sort of way- "Italian Ham Radio Operator" since I in real life am a Ham.

But I am not Italian.

The "Mr." was only to distinguish me of being the male gender..

[Ham]

quote:

arcane insider jokes for Way-o-bites

Hey, at least you have the potential of selling a couple thousand or so copies..

I'd buy one. Maybe more. Perfect for Christmas gifts, etc.

[AHAT]

The last time I walked on water, I was mopping my kitchen floor.

[Ham]

Once, when I was mopping the floor, I slid on the water..

[Jim]

Juan, you sound like a cross between a Monte Python and a David Lynch script.

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

As a matter of fact, what was wrong is that I belonged to a cult that had a leader that sounded like that...

[Juan Cruz]

Jim, The longer I'm out, the stranger they sound. No wonder we got such strange looks.

We were legitimately cuckoo. Now take someone who starts out a bit odd, and it just gets ridiculous real fast.

Yes, I think TWI has all the makings for a David Lynch project - with Monte Python overtones. lol

"What did he say? 'Blessed are the Cheesemakers?!'"

"Well, you can't take it too literally. I suppose he's referring to all who work in dairy."

[Jim]

"The Nightmare Before Pentecost"?

[Belle]

quote:

Once, when I was mopping the floor, I slid on the water..

In college we would slide on water, but there was no mopping intended. :D--> I used to have a list of which soap made the best bubbles and which made the best slide. :)-->

[Jim]

quote:

In college we would slide on water, but there was no mopping intended. Big Grin I used to have a list of which soap made the best bubbles and which made the best slide. Smile

In the Army we used a fire hose.

[Belle]

Now THAT would have been fun!!

[Ham]

Sure would make Chr*s smell a little better after trying to walk accross the sewage treatment pond..

Lots of soap might help too.

[Ham]

Hey Juan, how about a new installment:

Chris in New Jersey.

"Parting" the East River..

Just a thought, heh heh.

[Ham]

All right Juan.. this is "killing" me. If you won't, I MUST.

C.G. Say, that looks like an AWFUL expensive bridge you're putting in there..

Road worker. Yep. We call that your tax dollars at work. Just a paltry twenty million.

C.G. What if I told you I could do the same job kind of, for a lot less? I'd do it for one mil.

R.W. Who do you think you are, Santa Clause?

Quit bothering me.

C.G. Sure, sure, just wait for the "gathering" friend. Oh by the vey, god's richest blessings to you in the name of..."

R.W. Don't let the cab door hit you in the a** too hard.

Next, C.G. at the state capital..

[Juan Cruz]

I'm gonna have to read this again later...

:)-->

all the best,

JC

[Ham]

Transportation Official: So, you're telling me that we really don't NEED the bridge. That with your magnamimous demeanor, you will simply wave your hand, make the water recede, and allow traffic to safely go accross..

C.G. That's about the size of it. All for just a little one million smackeroos. Think of the money you will "save". Your constituents would be very pleased in the next election.

T.O. ...and that you will last longer than the bridge, because you simply believe that you can't die?

C.G. Yep. I learned it all from the "best".

T.O. That's EXACTLY what I thought. Security!!!

Next: C.G. in his interview with the docs..

[Jim]

Here's another subject: Chris applies for a concealed weapons permit at the sheriff's office

[Juan Cruz]

OH WE'RE COOKIN' NOW, MOMMA!

Carry on, gents!*

Yes, CG gets a gun license!

CG runs in the Boston Marathon,

stopping in Natick

for ice cream

and some high speed PFAL.

CG fights forest fires in Nevada.

CG coaches a girl's cross country team.

CG returns to Rye and tells the country club set that their money won't save them.

CG nails 99 feces to a church door.

*(Except one thing -- the East River runs between Manhattan and Queens/Brooklyn.

New York Harbor, and the Hudson River is between NY and Jersey.

But don't let that slow us down)

[Oakspear]

quote:

*(Except one thing -- the East River runs between Manhattan and Queens/Brooklyn.

New York Harbor, and the Hudson River is between NY and Jersey.

But don't let that slow us down)

Hence, the appelation "East"

[Oakspear]

Hmmm...did I misspell a word?

[Tom Strange]

quote:

did I misspell a word?

does it really matter? I like to spell correctly as well... but I don't think anyone here is grading...

[dmiller]

quote:

does it really matter? I like to spell correctly as well... but I don't think anyone here is grading...

Axshoualy, that shood read:

"Doze it relly mater? I likes to speel coyrectly az well ... but I doan tink any one here iz grayding."

[dmiller]

Shoot --- now I'm starting to remember that river in Ohio, the Cuyahoga.

From all the crap in it that caught on fire, he could have claimed to walk on water, and see a burning bush at the same time!! :D-->