Walking on Water with Chris

[Juan Cruz]

from DMiller:

quote:

Did someone mention walking on water?

I do it all the time (especially when it is frozen, and goes by the name of ice)!

Of course you have to wait until it is winter, but ice is still water, and easier to walk on than water in the summer.

I never did master walking on *puddles* first (like CG from Gartmoor suggested back in the mid 80's) as a way of learning to walk on a larger *liquid* body of water though.

edited to correctly quote Dmiller - sorry!

Response:

CG has obssesed about 'walking on water' for along time.

Given his personality, it's a good thing I figgur, that he didn't obsess on raising maidens from the dead.*

Walking on water was just right; a safe CG activity for all of us. All he got was all wet(er).

*CG: "Excuse me sir, do you run this funeral home?"

Edited August 20, 2005 by Juan Cruz

[Juan Cruz]

FHD: Why yes, I do. Can I help you?

CG: Well, I'm not here to take business away from you but... Here's $20.00 if you'll permit me into your embalming room for half an hour.

FHD: That's a highly irregular request, I must say. I'm afraid I can't allow it.

CG: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't tell you. I'm the new hairdresser. Shirley couldn't make it this week.

[Juan Cruz]

FHD: I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. In fact RIGHT NOW, as you're dripping water all over our parlor floor!

[Juan Cruz]

CG: I'm on my way. Can you tell me, sir? Where do you get the bodies from?

FHD: The familes call us and we pick them up from the hospital, home, nursing establishment or morgue.

CH: Oh, thanks for your time. God's richest blessings to you in the wonderful name of our risen Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

FHD: I'm Jewish.

CG: Oh, so am I. It's in Romans. Let me show you...

[Juan Cruz]

CG; (at the morgue) Hi, what's your name?

CC: How did you get in here?

CG: I was looking for the soda machine. Say, do you like working here?

CC: It's quiet.

CG: Gee, that was a shame about those two girls. Are they here? I hear the boy was driving almost 100 miles per hour.

CC: Look if you're not authorized you have to leave.

CG: OK. Gosh, my shoes are wet, mind if I sit on this bench a second? ... One of those girls was wearing a bracelet that belonged to my daughter.

CC: You would havae to see the desk sargeant about that.

CG: OK, but I don't want to go to the trouble if she's not wearing it. May I check?

[Juan Cruz]

CC:Then you'll leave?

CG: Sure as I'm sitting here.

...

CG: I knew this girl. May I have a moment by myself?

[next week: "A Trip to the Hospital"]

[Stayed Too Long]

too funny!! :)-->

[TheEvan]

I wonder if the fella gets Reeeeal powered up he could raise some o' those cats he's killed from the dead/sheol/hades/thanatos, you know, there.

Lord, that's scary. Those terms just popped up in my head.

[Stayed Too Long]

When you say "cats", is that referring to the feline type, or "hip or cool people"? Either way do you literally mean "Killed"?

[TheEvan]

feline

I meant killed, as in dead or whatever that Greek word might be.

Concordance that

[dmiller]

quote:

from DMiller:

quote:

What was with CG and "walking on water?!" He talked about that going all the way back to the earliest 70's. I heard him at the old Way East HQ.

I gotta go hmmmmmmmmm.

I never said that.

Or did you put what you wanted to say, in place of what I said about CG, and his teaching about walking on puddles??

If that is what happened -- I forgive you. :)-->

David

[dmiller]

quote:

Did someone mention walking on water? --> ;)-->

I do it all the time (especially when it is frozen, and goes by the name of ice)!

Of course you have to wait until it is winter, but ice is still water, and easier to walk on than water in the summer. :D-->

I never did master walking on *puddles* first (like CG from Gartmoor suggested back in the mid 80's) as a way of learning to walk on a larger *liquid* body of water though.

FYI --- this is what I wrote.

David

[Juan Cruz]

Dmiller,

I am SO sorry - you got misquoted - my own words got in between the quote marks!

[Ham]

We have a sewage treatment pond here he could try walking on..

[Ham]

But I don't think he can convince me to try it. Let's see him do it first..

[Ham]

It would have to be the genuine deal though..

with all the "additives", and warming effect of the bacteria, this sucker NEVER freezes over in the winter..

[Ham]

Us Greasespotters can act like the disciples. We'll take the boat to the other side, and see who gets there first.

[Ham]

quote:

When you say "cats", is that referring to the feline type, or "hip or cool people"? Either way do you literally mean "Killed"?

If I remember correctly, neither vic nor loy appreciated the presence of unclaimed ***** cats on headquarters grounds.

I think they called Chr*s "The Terminator" to perform a "necessary" but otherwise messy job..

[Stayed Too Long]

That clears it up....thanks.

[dmiller]

quote:

Dmiller,

I am SO sorry - you got misquoted - my own words got in between the quote marks!

Juan -- it wasn't a problem then, and it isn't a problem now.

--> -->

David

[dmiller]

quote:

We have a sewage treatment pond here he could try walking on..

Mr H. --- LMAO!!! :D--> :D-->

[Ham]

Hey, glad to make someone's day. :)-->

Juan would have to edit some of his story, the funeral director would want old Chr*s outta there for a few more reasons than just being wet..

[Ham]

All right Mr. Cruz, I am patiently waiting for the "trip to the hospital". :)-->

[Juan Cruz]

CG: Intensive Care unit please.

Are you a relative of a patient there?

CG: Yes, my younger sister is critically ill.

What’s her name?

CG: Talitha Kumai

I’m sorry I don’t see that name here.

CG: Well, she sometimes uses other names..can I just speak to one of the nurses at the nursing station?

…

(CG ducks into Men’s room and puts on clergy collar)

As he approaches the nursing station he pauses to eye a mop bucket, then proceeds on…

CG: Hi, I’m today’s Eucharistic Minister. I’ll just be delivering holy communion to the inmates this morning.

The WHAT, Father?

CG walks slowly past each room, pausing occasionally to read the charts hanging outside the doors, muttering things like:

“Wow, that’s a lot of urine.”

“How come they don’t say if they’re virgin?”

Excuse me, Father? Can I help you?

CG: Oh, oh, blessings to you in the wonderful name of our risen Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ!

I’m Muslim.

CG: Well, I’m sort of trying to bring the mountain to the bedside here, know what I mean? Say, I was supposed to deliver communion to a young girl that was very seriously ill. I forget her name, she still here?

I’m sorry, she passed away last night.

CG: Saints preserve us! I’ll just go deliver last rites.

Father you know, of course, that Last Rights went out with Vatican 2. [she opens the window.]

CG: I know, but some of us can't get used to the new language. Well, allow me to go Anoint the Sick.

But Father, she DIED.

CG: Well she needs SOMETHING to get her blessed soul into the grave properly where she can sleep awaiting the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord, when all the dead in Christ shall rise and meet Him in the air and at the bema and claim her inheritance for which all her earthly spiritual blessings were just a foretaste of glory divine!

CG: You’re not really a priest, are you.

CG departs the ICU, stepping in the mop bucket on his way out

[Ham]

Heh heh heh he heh.

If a thousand don't appreciate you here Juan, I'll cry..