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rascal
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quote:
I also believe woman who truly have a problem with a man who is unrelenting and abusive a network to remove them happens, they go to another state. It is often paid for by private donantion and runs like an underground railroad with families volunteering to house mom and the kids till the crises is better..

And per you this was available in the ALAska of the 1980's??? REALLY???

quote:
praise God almighty if you only knew the volumes of people who care and it begins with a cps worker fighting and aware...

The trick is actually finding one... between supporting the family protecting the kids, yourself and jumping through hoops

quote:
See a state worker can not have a conflict of interest they can not side with one parent over the other or make a judgement, that is up to a judge and the evidence provided. it is difficult.

Oh so in 1982 when I was forced to go on welfare and not go anywhere with out my hubby if the kids were present that was an example of not taking sides??

Having a social worker being best buddies with my husband while demanding sex from me was not taking sides???

Refusing to act on any of my requests while treating all his & TWI's accusations/excuses as gospel was an example of not taking sides???

quote:
But maybe sometimes a mom who is fear for her life can be staying with relatives

None of those here

quote:
or in a shelter waiting for the nightmare to end.

Oh you mean the housing where you can stay with your kids but they don't provide daycare, so you have to take the kids back to the daycare where he can get them so you can go to work.

Better now but in 1982-87 nah, not at all prepared to deal with the realities of women who had to work to support their familes, pay the bills etc.

quote:
and then someone metions a "friend" who has plane or bus tickets for tommorrow and leaves a phone # by accident .

Must be nice living in LA La land

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timing is everything in the courts, .

Too bad, it should be the same all the time--moms & kids get support and protection abusers, get jailed

quote:
and a parent has to be strong enough to go and trust a stranger. They have to be strong enough to love their kids more than their boyfriend or husband their family their own life as they know it today..

Didn't love him, was terrified would have gone in a new york minute if There was anywhere to go where he couldn't get to us

quote:
personly I believe it is the LORDS network. that is right that stupid old CPS worker knows nothing about how that person knocked on your door and said IM a friend and I want to help. true enough. they may know where your hiding in fear or what the next court case may determine and maybe even your address, but hey all that is public information once they get involved hmmm.... ..

This is incoherent makes no sense at all

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now im crying over this stupid thread. ..

Crying over this thread--I'm sorry, perhaps it would be more useful to save your tears for young mothers and their children stuck with an abuser with nowhere to run

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WE are making changes, today if a domestic abuse call is made to the police BOTH mom and dad are charged. thank God!!!

As both of the idiots are hand cuffed and put into the car it is a CPS worker who is called in to take the kids to a place where maybe for the first time in their life they can sleep in peace without the choas their parents give their life. Now BOTH parents have to answer for why this is happening to the innocent children.

it is as it should be....

Already gave my opinion about this bit of insanity

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Before he can go to jail all the paper work is done and ready to go to court to get him out of the house and guess what???? charges are dropped in 93% of the cases because he is the only one who can pay the rent or has money for food ..

Since I was the one paying the bills just needed him gone

quote:
or the mom is found dead or close to it after good old boy brother bubba paid for his bail. and guess what for sure she dropped the charges that time!! go figure! it is a fine line the police walk as well.

Gee do you think maybe she dropped the charges because of the beating she got after the last time you let him out of jail???

Ya think that maybe she figured out that turning him in, only for you, to let him go afterwards and so he can come find her might make her a little afraid of TRUSTING your good intentions the next go around???

Templelady

quote:
we are all sorry you were abused for 7 years. It kind of speaks volumes on your ability to keep your children safe, we help who we can and a mom willing to put up with abuse for as many years as you claim and never ask for help for her kids is not a person able to put her kids first and foremeost.

I NEVER ASKED FOR HELP??? That is all I did for 7 years only to be told that it was my responsibility to get him out of the house!!! Not to mention the fact that as An Alaska Native he automatically had more rights than I to the kids. Not to mention that since he didn't work he got to keep the kids at home since his not working made me ineligible for daycare.,

quote:
You claim to be the only one in the household with money. YOu could have taken the kids and left. why didnt you?

Left to where?? Have you ever looked at a map??? You don't just drive across state lines--In fact in Alaska you don't drive much of anywhere--and as for money--You mean the money I was able to hide--the money for food (try feeding a family on $#11.00 FOR TWO WEEKS MUCH LESS BUYING AIRLINE TICKETS. i WORKED FOR THE MONEY DOESN'T MEAN hE LET ME KEEP IT

quote:
Im sorry. I truly am. EVen if they do take out one of these men the womans next boyfriend will also abuse and maybe be worse . it is a cycle of abuse it is learned love it is attachment to what you know as life. It is learned before a child can speak for themselves.

They know it is a secret kind of love that no one eles can really understand not even yourself. why do ya stay?

Ah the social worker copout--blame the victim them we have to feel less guilty becuase we are doing so little and what we do do is so ineffectual

Why batter women stay (this is called the battered-woamn syndrome I am surprised someone in your field hasn't studied it and therefore knows the answer to the question.)

1)It is my job to keep myself and the kids safe

2) He won't hit/beat/chock/kick etc if he isn't angry

3)Therefore I must keep him from getting angry

4)Will leaving or attempting to leave make him angry?

5) if the question to #4 is yes see #3

Of couse in a PERFECT world Social services would whould make it clear that # 3isn't her job

BUt as has already pointed out they enforce that notion rather than remove the abuser

quote:
maybe you didnt get involved in another abuse relationship or have more children to give to a victimizer. and Im happy for ya you paid a heavy price for sure for the lesson. But in fact most abused woman end up with another abuser unless they get the help they need for themselves and their children. How is it a attraction how do they know which woman will put up with abuse and allow their children to be abused or at least never notice ? they know because it is a type of learned behaviour a learned "love", as a very young child it is imprinted in both male and females. And they may even know it is wrong of course they do but it is the system or the social worker or the churchs problem NOT them! They love their children very much and they do really love them as they know how.

I'm nopt going to dignify this self-justification of SOcial work ineptitude with a response

quote:
It may be the children need to be put with the other parent who is willing to work in the system I didnt say they were a better parent I said these are extremly troubled families with a very troubled past and they need help and to be involved in the only way any agency can do any type of monitoring or resource. options are limited.

Options are limited--more justification

quote:
but agin in your case you didnt allow them a chance to help you, you gave your kids up. in that case the state has to allow the other parent full rights to their kids, no questions asked. their hands are tied.

Lets see for 5 years 1982-1987 I pled for help CW pled for help all falling on deaf ears

Then 1987 they arrested Rich Urquhart and then arrested my husband and then for good measure arrested me. And then put the kids in foster care where I was allowed no contact no reunification plan

1988 Rich went to jail, Hubby went to jail, I was acquited

Still no contact no reunification plan

I got a divorce

1989 Hubbies parental rights were terminated

Still no contact no reunification plan

TWI informed them I had MS

Notice to terminate parental rights based on Health issues

Relinquishment

Now when exactly was it I refused to LET THEM help me and the kids?????

Social Services was too busy worring about CTA to avoid admitting that their inept refusal to do anything for the years 1982-1987 was 90% of the problem

quote:
ya know writing about this stuff doesnt thrill me and my motive is not to attack anyone, but I believe education is in order about why people end up in the crap we do. I have been through alot in my life, suffice to say my life has been no crystal stair, I do not post my troubles on an internet for people to attack. I sought help and I found prayer works. I see a world full of evil folks willing to hurt one another and destroy anything beautiful, but more important I recall the people who can stand on what He promises who can endure a mom torment as the judge orders supervised vistation with her husband and the toddlers dad because we all have rights as Americans. I see people willing to say we need to have priorities and education and a willing to understand HOW does this type of crime happen? The bible calls it generational mental health considers it a cycle of abuse. When the boy who was molested by his dad and quick and powerful intervention does not happen at a very young age guess what he thinks love is when he is a dad ? Alittle girl is silent about how mom or dad touches her and then has sex or even tried to tell mom once but she didnt really hear her , maybe it was the pills she took to cope or just the fact daddy hit her alot. or she was always at a bible meeting or work. And daddy said he would kill thebaby if he told anyway so she loved her parents the best she could and grew up to be a fine upstanding woman college educated and always did her best...a good girl.

She also will be attracted to what she knew as a mans love as a child she will love the type of man who loved her as a child. He will be the father for her children and She will not have ears to hear what she was never allowed to speak. Temple lady I do hear you.

Do I blame the victim?

those engaged in behaviours that hurt innocent children need to stop. Those who abuse children learned to abuse as children. oftentimes influence such as drug use or alcoholism has been used from a young age to cope with the reality of the abuse and some will NEVER admit or even truly rememebr when it all started to go bad kind of like their whole life type of thing.. they are victims it is sad. I do not say fry the bastard or kill all the girls who make children for them I say take the kids away and take them away as far as you can forever and stay with them for a lifetime to be sure IT STOPS! So how does one in four girls end up molested and one in five boys ????? today ?? how because they are good decent people they are your family they are your friends and they are ya know very understanding and good with kids . they know your pain they understand, they love your family and you them. they look normal like shellon said.

victims become victimizers.

SO glad you understand--but just when do you and your collegues plan to become the solution rather than part of the problem???

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I am not defending any molester, and Im not defending a woman who allows or choses a man who abuses her. Abigail you got out of your situation did you ever wonder how the hell that happened? I bet you have and really have done some soul work to fix what was wrong in your own life to not have it happen again to you or the kids. the sad fact is many woman do not bother with that work on self abigail they just go on business as usual and meet him again or find another.

Abigail Im not your ex. and those above statements are all true. and also it is a fact within a FAMILY sexual contact is consdered incest. family court is involved. Both parents have equal rights for and to the children . IF convicted in criminal and only after conviction in criminal court which often takes years and is most of the time plea bargined out to at least have some charge stick only after conviction can this be brought into family court as evidence and ONLY for the children he was convicted on any other siblings or children in the house hold are not part of that case and it can not be used as any kind of evidence of abuse.

Inside a family BOTH parents are held responsible for the abuse regardless of who was actualy abusing BECAUSE BOTH have the responsibility to the state to take care and keep the children safe as their parents. GET IT? the parents then begin to fight one another on who did what when and that is how the family courts procede with the best interest of the children with the primary mission of keeping the family intact as much as possible and to provide resource and etc. Every week a bus load of babies on up to teens go on a bus out of our city to the nearby prison to see their parents by court order, because these papa's or mamas have a legal right to and for their children when incarncinated by the state and the state is ordered to provide the transportation and supervison by a FAMILY court JUDGE . get it? children have rights they have attornys repeat very very few will lose their children no matter what the crime most only lose their children after many many years of not obeying court orders. it is never a light or easy decision. family court is a tough tough court.

outside of the family a neighbor a stranger a friend teacher etc. it is strictly criminal court. It has the purpose of PUNISHMENT for a crime against society from laws we as a community have set in place. They have a whole different set of laws and rulings they are able to do.

I tried to explain it is two different perspectives, in the courts. for the victims. Crinimal court is less effective in the bigger picture because they need a different type of evidence and the court is defined differently and the mission and scope is completly different. WE do not have the laws yet and we do have plenty of very gifted attornys and money plays a factor. By far most child molesting that gets reported happens within a "family" type context. sad but true normal people just do not think their friend or neighbor or childs coach could possibly have this type of problem and the kids just do not tell out of shame and disgrace and he moves on to another victim. that is a sexual preditor. this is criminal court . punishment is in order.

Incest is a little different. it is within the family. an older brother a dad a mom step dad etc. it is learned behaviour and often approached as a mental health problem within the family, because of the very reason I described in the other post it is a learned behaviour that repeats in the next generation without constant monitoring and help to recover. hence the reason for FAMILY COURT, and workers to sort out the issues within the family.

Im not a predator , I just do not tolerate excuses from male or female on why children have to be abused . watching mom get punched or slaped is ABUSE for the children .

I do not have a victims mentality. and those who want an excuse on why or to push the blame on anything eles but their own inability to rise above adversity probably will never understand and get very very angry at me for it.

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Who knows the solution?

the courts certainly do not , the parents do not and the children do not.

personly I believe God knows the solution. On HIM we can rely, so many many promises to come true day by day.

that is why when you look at the bench at least the ones in this city it is carved in the wood

"In God we trust" and that is why the bible is used as the hand book when being sworn in.

I am not a CPS worker never have been. I work in customer service in a store of sorts. lol

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temple lady

you have a need to justify your life.

Im sorry your life has really sucked, im sorry more for your children.

If you did the best you could then walk high and know it, do what you have to do in life. For me I will be honest that frightens me to think of losing my own children in such a manner or my grands. but I know it would never happen. Im sorry no one in your family was there for you no friends no co-workers no one at all. that is indeed very very sad. and if it is pity your looking for you have mine , utterly and competly. I wouldnt have been able to live with myself. but all the best to ya, sista.

frankly disabled people have children everyday and the families do fine,(blind, deaf brain damaged all of these type of people continue to be parents in our society. how about that superman Chris REEVES ? do ya think they took away his parental rights too? it isnt against the law to be disabled or ill nor is is grounds for terminaltion of any parental rights.

many many parents have AIDS a killing disease and not only do they have children but they have additional children while infected with HIV. give me a break you have a mind an abilty to speak for yourself you can parent. YOU chose not to. It was your choice I cant say I understand it, because I do not, but it was your choice to make not mine go live with it be proud do what you have to do in life I do really wish you the best.

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Mo,

I think you know by now that this persona posting as mj412 is not who he/she presents him/herself to be.

A very telling quote posted by this persona posting as mj412: "I am not a CPS worker never have been. I work in customer service in a store of sorts. lol" (Just in case the person goes back and changes this admission, I have the screen print.)

As soon as I read the above admission, I was immediately reminded of a man I know who manages a porn shop. He says almost the exact same thing about his 'business'...and he's a perp.

I have documented this persona's posts for a long, long time.

Always claiming to be a mucky-mucky of some sort in the Social Services...and then this admission that he/she is not at all employed by and Social Services agency.

This can only mean that this persona's 'experience' in the Social Services arena is as a client, a spouse/significant other/family member of a perp, or a perp him/herself.

This persona's posts make it very clear to me that his/her experience is not as a client...

The only good coming out of his/her diatribes is that you get the chance to say the things you were never allowed to say to those who tormented your life.

Rock on, girl!

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CW

Yeah the more said party types the more I have noticed that her "insights" appear canned as if they are taken from Tv shows, talk shows, COurt tv, Magazicne articles etc. and she is just parroting back what she has read/heard which would explain the disjointedness

I notice that she is very careful not ot talk about cases in general that she has worked on

Notice that she is very careful not to say "I experienced" when talking about social services

But most importantly, like all disciplines and professions there are "buzz" words, phraseologies, certain vocabulary that is used by social services when talking about their work.

And they all use it wether CPS, or Therapists, or those who work in nursing homes with seniors.

MJ uses none of it. While anyone who was/is actually in social services would use a certain phraseology to explain their postion or ideas MJ doesn't, in fact it is at that point that she begins to ramble.

Social workers don't ramble they are cocise and to the point. If anything they understate the situation so as not to be held accountable for the words they speak.

You are right CW--this isn't a member of Social Services.

You are also right that this has let me say what I have needed/wanted to say for years.

Hang on to that printout--HAve a feeling we'll need it one of these days

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MJ

Based upon all of what I have read on this forum I say:

SHAME on you for using small words and not ‘legalese jargon’ to explain your point of view.

SHAME on you for not changing your point of view to fit anyone on this forum.

SHAME on you for standing up for what’s best for the families and children.

SHAME on you for daring to pray for those who would protect the families and children.

SHAME on you for working in an industry that’s not perfect but getting better.

SHAME on you for trying to do what you can to make the world a better place.

If it weren’t for this Grace Administration, you would be a Grease spot by Midnight.

It is with all that is within me to tell you to go to the church of your choice and pray to God as you understand him. Pray for forgiveness for your SHAME and pray to Him to do His work and not your own. Only then can you ever expect the Lord in heaven above to rain blessings a plenty upon you.

For SHAME MJ, tsk tsk.

May the good Lord grant me the heart to forgive. This I pray for MJ.

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Brother Speed, you missed the point. The one doing the condemning

and accusing is MJ, who accused the woman who was abused and had her

children abused, and received NO help from the system.

She is being accused of doing NOTHING, or not putting forth

SUFFICIENT effort, or APPROPRIATE effort to try to end abuse and

suffering. Despite EYEWITNESS accounts, MJ has insisted that-

despite NOT HAVING BEEN THERE TO SEE HOW THINGS WERE-

that those who were participants and witnesses are LIARS-

claiming their testimony is false-

and FOOLS-claiming they didn't do simple things which were

appropriate actions to take.

(The truth is that all appropriate actions to take that were possible

to take were taken, and anyone who says otherwise spreads VILE LIES

about others.)

quote:
Originally posted by Brother Speed:

MJ,

Based upon all of what I have read on this forum I say:

SHAME on you for using small words and not ‘legalese jargon’ to explain your point of view.

No-MJ is not using the vocabulary common to workers in MJ's professed

"field". MJ is also absent of the tact which supposedly is present

in workers in this field. In short, MJ doesn't think like a social

worker, doesn't act like one, and doesn't talk like one. The natural

supposition, then, is that MJ is NOT one.

quote:

SHAME on you for not changing your point of view to fit anyone on this forum.

Actually, shame on MJ for accusing posters of lying without having the

facts at hand. Shame on MJ for not admitting s/he had no idea what

s/he was talking about when s/he was doing so-when more information

was presented. When sufficient evidence is at hand, a prudent person

changes their opinion to match the evidence.

quote:

SHAME on you for standing up for what’s best for the families and children.

We have no proof MJ has done so. MJ certainly did not

do so HERE, where doing so would have taken little effort.

quote:
SHAME on you for daring to pray for those who would protect the families and children.
Did MJ do that, or just invoke the

subject of praying for them in a display of conspicuous religion?

Jimmy Swaggart cried on tv when he was "repenting" of his sins, but

few people thought that was true repentance-just the appearance of

same.

quote:
SHAME on you for working in an industry that’s not perfect but getting better.
First of all, we have no proof MJ isn't

lying from Day One. Second, nobody said ALL social workers are a

disgrace-they said the ones who ruined TL's life and did nothing were

a disgrace-and MJ attacked TL for needing help.

quote:
SHAME on you for trying to do what you can to make the world a better place.
If that's really MJ's job.

If THIS is the way s/he behaves here, I'm dubious s/he is making the

world a better place ELSEWHERE.

quote:
If it weren’t for this Grace Administration, you would be a Grease spot by Midnight.

It is with all that is within me to tell you to go to the church of your choice and pray to God as you understand him. Pray for forgiveness for your SHAME and pray to Him to do His work and not your own. Only then can you ever expect the Lord in heaven above to rain blessings a plenty upon you.

For SHAME MJ, tsk tsk.

May the good Lord grant me the heart to forgive. This I pray for MJ.

If that's meant in sincerity, yes, I agree. If it's meant in

sarcasm, it's woefully misplaced, Brother.

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In case some of you missed this . . . .

Shell - "Again I ask did I understand you to say once that you were educated in the human service/social work field?

Please note word 'educated'. College, degree, training."

MJ - "yep bought and paid for."

and later by MJ - "I am not a CPS worker never have been. I work in customer service in a store of sorts. lol" "

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Here’s how far we have come when it comes to domestic violence, criminal sexual conduct, violence in general . . . .

(From the Courts section of our newspaper)

* Al W. Jessup, 44, 1100 block of West Allegan, Lansing, felonious assault with a dangerous weapon, four days in jail, four days credit,

* Omokiniovo Ejoh, 20, 3900 block of Hunters Ridge, Lansing, criminal sexual conduct-assault with intent to commit sexual penetration, 10 months in jail, 163 days credit

* Bo-James Toth, 18, 4500 block of Charles Street, Palo, criminal sexual conduct, assault with intent to commit sexual penetration, 23-120 months in prison

* Gabriel David Parsons, 19, 800 block of West Jefferson, Grand Ledge, felonious assault with a dangerous weapon, 12 months in jail,

Unfortunately, I couldn't get the archives beyond this past week without paying for them. If I had, you would see that those who are convicted of domestic violence get less time than those above.

Now imagine, you are a woman home alone with your children and your hubby is REALLY peaved at you cause you just had his foot hauled off to jail for beating the **** out of you. That last time he didn't kill you, but now he is even more ****** off. How many stories do we have to read in the papers about men killing their spouses and sometimes even their children before we understand just how difficult it is to get out of a violent relationship?

Yes, MJ, I got out successfully. BUT, my situation wasn't NEARLY as bad as Mo's. I had a good support system, family members, etc. My family has a lot of attorneys in it, including my dad. I had an understanding of how our legal system works. I knew I had to document, document, document, before I went to court.

And even with all the help I had it was very hard and very scary. Even with all the help I had, my ex still was allowed to sit in his car all night watching my house. And IF he had gone far enough over the edge, I have no doubt that he could have broke into the house and seriously hurt my and/or the kids before help arrived.

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I never claimed to be a CPS worker where is your copy and paste when you need to prove your own self? I find it hysterical that everyone assumed and even tried to insult me with the fact they believed I was a CPS Worker until I TOLD THEM I WAS NOT!

I say we because I mean WE as a people: who is the courts they are voted in the state workers they are our representitives.

We as the people VOTE the DA to serve Us, WE chose who will be our judges.

they are US as a nation representing what WE decide is right or wrong in our country.

here is the last comment I will make.

it is clear to me MO gave up her children in a plea bargin to avoid prosecution of the charges levied against her by the state of Alaska, she supported and lived and had children for one of the top ten most wanted in America, for many years she tolerated and allowed abuse to happen in her home to her and her children.

they had enough on her for her to give up all rights and responsibility to her children this is extremly rare and only done in very very serious ongoing abuse and crimes. They wanted her alright and felt they had enough to proced. She plea bargined out to avoid prison time , she sold her kids right out. she claims she knew she would lose and she probably would have.

Criminals doing time for murder have rights and vistations to their children . The state in this case wanted these people the hell away from any child .

BOTH of them .

no one in America loses their children from being sickor disabled. In fact we as a people pay disabled people when they do have children. NO One loses their children if they can not afford them as the welfare rolls will show.

I believe that is what she can tell people, as she has no conviction in criminal court because of the plea bargin, The DA took both of these parents out and avoided a long and lengthy trial for her and saved the children from any future harm .

As long as she gave up her children and any future contact with her children no one really cared how it was written. She did a good good job. The two courts worked together didnt they MO?

But no one here knows that do they? What happened to those charges levied against you by the state the CRIMINAL charges along with your hubby? they just went away because they found out what a fine and dandy mommy you were? After years of living and having children and supporting one of the top ten most wanted sexual preidors in Alaska ? I doubt it.

they threatend you didnt they MO? and you knew what you had done for years and years or didnt do you knew you would lose, the choice was just how it was going to be done. I bet your famous love of your life would even testify against you in some really nasty stuff if he had a chance of a lesser penaty such is the game with criminals and abusers right MO? pretty scary stuff.

I might have given my kids up as well under those circumstances.

now that makes sense. The state didnt take your kids you gave them up to avoid prosecution in criminal court.

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I still withdraw my 'shame' post.

I wish to post an apology worthy of this forum to all rather than the feeble attempt above:

It is with the most regretful feelings from the deepest recesses of my heart that I apologize to you one and all. I was wrong. I was confusing. I brought much shame upon myself. I snapped big time, when I should have walked away. I am truly sorry.

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Its sickening to read someone that thinks they are an authority on a subject they have no knowledge of. Boom towns do not operate in the same way as the rest of America. Their justice can be very perverted and money talks and bull**** walks.

In the 60's I grew up in a boom town economy, my older cousin was going through a divorce from an abusive husband that molested his daughter and beat his son bloody. By the time my cousin separated she was convinced she was useless as a human and worse as a mother. Charges were brought against her as her husband and his friends lied and swore to the DA that she was guilty of numerous crimes.

The only thing that saved her from giving up her children was an extended family, She signed them over to my parents for 2 years. While we had them I remember Grandfather and uncles visiting and staying almost constantly with loaded shotguns to keep the father away. During those 2 years her parents and my Aunts and Uncles donated all they could for lawyers and helped her fight when she was unable to fight. Also my cousin went back to school and got her business degree during this period and spent every free minute she had with her children.

Charges were dropped against her, husband went to prison for a short time. She built a decent life after that and married money, her son never recovered and is a jail bird. But, had it not been for all the help my parents, her parents and all the uncles and aunts and my grandfather; she would have been forced to give them up.

She told me the whole story many years later, the DA considered any woman that lived with such a man as guilty, any woman that would divorce a man as trash. The DA more than once tried to get in her skirt to work a deal, and forget the judge; he arranged motels to meet her in. All her family fought like hell and the DA didn't run again and the judge went into private practice. Nothing could ever stand up in court against them. But, what ended this all was a family that stood beside her through this all and convinced her she wasn't what everyone said she was.

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Ibelieve you wingnut .

every word you said. I know corruption is alive in well in the world and that is why a person must seek Jesus christ and his defense for all of mankind.

I am not trying to garner any sympahty but I have been divorced TWICE. I know a little bit and I have a very large family but I will say this about my family every single one of our boys have full and complete custody of their children, or a very nice vistation and shared custody.

What has changed is the fact woman are the only ones capable of raising or nuturing children. Bitter angry Woman have been taking the kids or using them as a pawn against men for decades and it isnt right.

that has changed and I think it should, that means woman must now face the very same charges rallied against men for so many years.

why do we have so many absent fathers? many times it may be because they can not fight against the woman and her allegations and give up the fight because of money or emotions or just to try to keep the children from being hurt by the WAR. woman with children for decades sat on welfare and accused their husbands of not being worthy parents having a attorny paid for by the court.

He has to pay his child suupport or go to jail which means work which mean he has to pay for his own lawyer.

it is unfair. today a woman must consider what the hell she has done with her own life to end up in this situation. I think it is high time. because if are not forced to understand just what happens when you get involved with an abusive man they often just find another and have another kid and it goes on and on. .

it is destroying the family unit. it is costing so much time and money in the courts , the foster care system and welfare to sort through the mess children are suffering to the point they also grow up unable to trust and make good choices in life.

Im glad she had a strong family unit to help her, IM glad she was able to have her children and that is what the goal is for everyone whether it feels like it at the time of hell or not.

I bet she considers who she gets involved with now right?

sure it is a lesson no one deserves but do ya think it should be the children who are charged with having two parents out of control and unable to make good choices for them?

I will tell you what a judge told me once as I defended my own self against false charges and was almost ready to give up he said "Well ... they can say anything they like ya know but in this court they must PROVE it".

I never ever feared again. praise God.

in your story

the charges where dropped she got her kids and it was one heck of a fight but what was the court to do? they had to sort through all the issues and allegations. it was the children the court wanted to save from harm but it is the ADults who have the rights and big mouths and fists isnt it? and sadly it sounds like they were to late for the son. Im so sorry.

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Brother Speed, you are relatively new here and do not know the posters well. You will in time.

What you don't realize is, MJ has flat out stated she once worked in the social services field - not in this thread, but in another.

What you don't know is, many of the people who may appear to be "getting on MJ" once had a decent posting relationship with her. But in time, you will find she turns viciously on most of the people who were once kind to her.

What you don't know is, MJ often speaks as one who actually knows what she is talking about. When in fact, she knows nothing about what she is talking about.

Take some time, read some posts. Get to know the posters a bit and things will be less confusing to you.

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Here Brother Speed, I'll help ya out a bit more.

"why do we have so many absent fathers? many times it may be because they can not fight against the woman and her allegations and give up the fight because of money or emotions or just to try to keep the children from being hurt by the WAR. woman with children for decades sat on welfare and accused their husbands of not being worthy parents having a attorny paid for by the court."

These are the very accusations MJ once threw at me when I shared some vulnerable parts of my life.

The irony in this is, my childrens' father has very liberal rights to visitation. One day a week and all weekend, three weekends a month. But HE choses to live with a woman who wants nothing to do with his children. HE chooses to pick them up for a few hours on Sunday only.

I utilized our welfare system briefly after my divorce, until I could get on my feet again. I was accused by MJ of being a welfare mom who sat around neglecting my children and teaching them how to live on the government dole. Yet, here I am working and supporting my family WITHOUT child support, because their father rarely pays it. (And I was working the entire time I utilized our welfare system as well). I no longer receive public assistance.

BUT, without the help I received from the government (tax dollars I also have contributed since I was 15 years old) I would not have been able to get out of an abusive marriage and retain custody of my kids.

For whatever reason, (and I believe she is mentally ill and THAT is the reason) MJ has to go on a rampage here from time to time. She does this by finding a poster who has shared a vulnerable story from his/her (usually HER) life and doing everything she can to tear them to shreds. It is abusive. I have been on the receiving end and I have seen many others who have been there also.

However, when she is not in one of her rages, you will find MJ often posts opinions that directly contradict what she says when she is in a rage.

So, while you have a valid point about labelling people, as you get to know me you will find that I too, in general, dislike rages.

However, I am not afraid to call a spade a spade. In time, you will realize it is MJ who treats people as a stereotype. Yes, there are bitter women who abuse the system - but most are not so - however MJ will throw that accusation out blindly.

Yes, there are women who turn a blind eye to child abuse committed by their spouses - but most do not. However, again, MJ will throw out that accusation blindly because it suits her need to abuse people.

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Abby find it look at my posts and prove what your saying, I do not have that many posts to look in and a whole butch of you hate me so go for it. You will never find it because im not a liar.

I said IM a advocate for children . I never said I am a CPS worker. YOU people are so dam afraid of any type of authority as you sit like invisable snakes behind a puter monitor healing the world with accusation you can never prove, you become full of fear of even the metion or chance someone could read some of your tales of woe and abuse and bring charges... lolololol

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MJ *I* never said you were a CPS worker. What I said is that YOU once said you worked in the social services field - learn how to read.

Find the post - you don't have many? I actually did spend some time looking for it, but you have 94 pages of posts and frankly - you are NOT WORTH that much of my time.

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yeah you cant screw up and metion the fact your on welfare when you also talk about your live in boyfriend who makes good money and you have not metioned that to the state.

lolol some one just might report THAT!

it is scary when you have to watch what you admit to when mj is listening isnt?

....es ya right off puts a chill on the party and all. BRRR>

But you do not because frankly I do not give a crap what any of you with your life. I love my own to much.

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