Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

The most ludicrous thing you heard, from those "in da know"


Ham
 Share

Recommended Posts

I'll toss out the top three, in my opinion. Makes me wonder, how did some of those guys even get through high school?

1. Sorry, probably the hundreth time, but it is still as funny.. at least to me!

The LIMB COORDINATOR (now a REGION coordinator icon_confused.gif:confused:-->) proved his obedience to the Almighty by not mixing bread and vegetables at his meals. This proved his honesty, sincerity and worth to the One True Household, because his digestive system would not get jumped by devils and confused, if ever the two should meet. (only SLIGHT embellishment here).

2. Same guy claims water will keep you awake during long boring classes. Why? Well, somehow the hydrogen and the oxygen in the water would somehow mate and mysteriously give you the added energy and motivation to sit awake in said situation. (next to NO embellishment here).

3. Well, that's nothing even close to Loy, the Pope and the aircraft carrier.. new inquisition coming you know. Known only by the mind of Loy, and of course it HAD to be revelation..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 66
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Feel free to comment on these gems of "truth" or add any you wish..

Just to me, it makes me wonder- where in the WORLD did they find somebody this ignorant, and give them a divinity degree (corps graduation)?

I believe Loy ordained this jackass.. takes one to make one, I guess.

But really- MOST sixth graders knows that with water, the atoms have already done all the "mating" they are gonna do. The molecules are already at the lowest energy level they are going to be. Water is not going to mysteriously give up any more energy. Scientifically speaking, the jackass is also a fraud.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Actually, butane lighters can be used as some kind of explosive.. the display is not very impressive, however.

I think you have to make something out of them. Ordinarily, they won't do much more than light tobacco or a campfire..

But THIS WEB SITE explains where the hoax probably started, and TWI "brains" swallowed it hook line and sinker..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But maybe the water did indeed keep said character awake, during the most boring, mouth drooling teaching you could subject yourself to.

He probably drank two or three gallons before the session, and had to pee so bad, nothing could put him to sleep..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sherman, set the wayback machine to 1974

A local believer comes back from a Musicians in the Word advance and tells us that it was taught that electronic music damages your spine. Never mind that Dorothy (or was it Rhoda) plays an electronic Hammond organ in the BRC.

Set the wayback machine to 1979.

At Advanced Class 79,VPW says that the prayers of believers caused the hydrogen bubble in the Three Mile Island reactor to shrink and disappear. Unfortunately it was later discovered that there was no hydrogen bubble in the TMI reactor.

Then of course there's the infamous "Betamax Decision". Not the Supreme Court one, the one where Joe Coulter tells the believers to buy one. I'm surprised at the resentment that still lingers over this.

I'm sure I could come up with a few more, but it's late and I need to get to bed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Trilateral Commission, and their secret move to write a new Constitution and take over the US in 1976. Thwarted by the prayers of faithful TWI-ers. But just in case it didn't work, we were all to have an escape plan to go live in the woods!

Looking back, it fascinates me that the plan was NOT to get together and help one another to survive, no, it was going to be every man for himself. I guess VP was going to go off and "survive" on all the gold they had stashed away....

Regards,

Shaz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yep.. scam after scam after scam..

One averted disaster after another.

The disturbing part is, I at one time believed all this stuff. Despite my upbringing and better judgement. Perhaps conditioned to believe it?

quote:
A local believer comes back from a Musicians in the Word advance and tells us that it was taught that electronic music damages your spine.

Yep. Somebody somewhere probably tried to catch a falling electronic piano or something.. good ole Howie issued a warning to the household about the hazards of electronic music or something..

quote:
The Trilateral Commission, and their secret move to write a new Constitution and take over the US in 1976

People still believe this. Even IF it was true, how can you claim the victory that the prayer of da faithful somehow moved the stone cold hearts of those who wished to exercise such tyranny over them.. good grief. There are probably over a dozen other groups claiming the same victory, that their preparedness somehow averted sure disaster.. just another good reason to keep said organizations in your financial planner I guess.

I think maybe the MOST ludicrous thing I heard-

"All life is spirit. Cancer has life in itself, therefore, cancer is a debil spurt".

How easy is it to toss aside everything you know about biology, real science and more, to believe this one? Ludicrous doesn't even come close to describing this horrid assessment of a bad enough situation to begin with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't forget how TWI averted the Y2K world changing near apocalypse disaster by having believers store gallons of water and canned food!

Oh, and that complete home inventory was spiritually powerful, too. That way your leadership could check out the contents of your medicine chest!

We were encouraged to stock pile antibiotics. Now, do you all have doctors that give out antibiotic perscriptions so you can just have them around for some future illness???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yep.. the Y2K thingy.. I left that one out because I was not involved with da group at that time.

While the rest of the world were enjoying some of the best parties of the century, poor ole TWIers were cowering in a corner somewhere, zealously guarding their antibiotics, spam, and five gallons of distilled water.. whew, they barely made it through THAT one.

Funny- even one of my old pre 1990 computers didn't get Y2K spurts..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Any two believers can live together because of their like-minded stand on the word.

Don't know about y'all but we've saved FL from way more hurricanes than have actually hit. You know when Andrew took out Homestead it was because we had pulled our believers out of that area.

Columbine happened because that city rejected the word.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Belle,

You made me chuckle!

I was told that if TWI had chosen VHS then the world would have gone to BETA. HOLY DEFECATION BATMAN! Talk about a NO-WIN situation! banghead.gif

All music written in a minor key is devilish.

I think that one tops it for music ludicrousness. icon_confused.gif:confused:-->

by the way, I gotta say, that this ----> banghead.gif 'smileys' is one of my favourite!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
All music written in a minor key is devilish.

Good grief Ala. Was this really said?

But the Beta thing, I heard that. They had to say something about us poor folks wasting a FORTUNE on Beta machines- and they were rather expensive back in the good old days.

So much for being "protected" by some mysterious hedge of believing emanating from that hole..

quote:
Columbine happened because that city rejected the word

Yep. That one just about tops them all Belle.

"We had OUR people there, and they just plain ignored them.."

Ha.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When we were in Residence we were taught during MAL training that if we are ever chased by dogs when they are hunting us down we should urinate against a tree and sprinkle Cayenne pepper on it. this kills the dogs sense of smell for 24 hours.

Hmmm. I think this meant we were suppose to carry a cayenne pepper shaker in our pockets.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wasn't part of the Y2K insanity that believers were supposed to get rid of their microwaves, because "we really don't know how they work"? I was out by that time, but this bit of "wisdom" was related to me by an "innie" as something that LCM propounded. (And, by the way, the "innie" KNEW it was BS. He told his LC that he would take his chances with his microwave! icon_biggrin.gif:D--> )

George

Link to comment
Share on other sites

True stories (a twi oxymoron)

Billy Graham stole vpw's holy spirit book cover design.

Billy Graham told Merv Griffin that a man on a farm in Ohio was the closest man to God he knew of.

Billy Graham, Oral Roberts and VPW were working together, but they sold out to the Trinity.

The Smurfs were debbil spirits.

Millions of kids were possessed by watch E.T.

Dr. had a vast collection of porn films.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Wasn't part of the Y2K insanity that believers were supposed to get rid of their microwaves, because "we really don't know how they work"?

LOL. If by "we", you mean Loy, most definitely. I'm sure he didn't and doesn't know how they work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Originally posted by Jim:
Wasn't part of the Y2K insanity that believers were supposed to get rid of their microwaves, because "we really don't know how they work"?

Hmm. I can see why Loy would be sceered of Microwaves. Perhaps, once, he was all alone in the Chalet. Perhaps he had a top secret meeting(sex) so sent all the servants avay. Afterwards, being hungered, he decided to heat himself a hotdog. He didn't know about wrapping it in a paper towel,having never microwaved before, so it came out deformed. The sight struck FEAR(which had to be spiritual) into his manly heart, because it reminded him of something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Dr. had a vast collection of porn films.

Def, that is the only one that I personally would vote "true"..

Yep. I could almost hear microwaves the world over, tossed out of windows and falling to their impending doom..

"If you don't understand it, throw it out" Ludicrous. Typical of Loy. Even extended that principle to people.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Originally posted by Jim:

Sherman,

Then of course there's the infamous "Betamax Decision". Not the Supreme Court one, the one where Joe Coulter tells the believers to buy one. I'm surprised at the resentment that still lingers over this.

Boy, does that bring up memories. We were all told that Betamax was the wave of the future. All video material was in beta only. Mine is in some landfill along with my 8-track. banghead.gif

All music written in a minor key is devilish.

I definately remember this one. I was told to get rid of any classical music that might have some minor key in it, cause it could infect my house.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...