I think making new friends is a good way. Get involved in organizations that interest you.
It takes time to cultivate a friendship. Not the way it was in twi. Whats nice about cultivating it is that you will find good friends with the same interests.
It took me years to figure that one out. I couldn't figure out how to make a friend. I could put a class together and witness for twi but when it came down to it I didn't know myself to find a friend for me without promoting classes. I don't think that is what real friendship is all about.
I totally understand how you feel, Belle. I think that is why some people may return for a while after leaving twi. They are lonely, only to find that they don't feel the same way about twi as they once did.
I totally understand how you feel, Belle. I think that is why some people may return for a while after leaving twi. They are lonely, only to find that they don't feel the same way about twi as they once did.
You're so right, Vickles. I was thinking tonight that the "fake friends" in TWI are no where near worth the no friends or soon-to-be friends waiting for me. :)--> I can see how some would go back because of giving up family, friends, etc. But I would rather be lonely than subject myself to that fake friendship again.
I have signed up for Dog Training Classes again and they start next week. I'm so excited. I LOVE, LOVE LOVE the border terrier community and people who are into training their dogs like I am. They are all mostly older and with kids, but it's a start and I thoroughly enjoy training with Vixen. If no girlfriends like I crave come from the training, I will have had a blast.
Belle, I made two new friends by teaching a class in my home. Not a bible class ;)--> but a crocheting class.
I was fortunate enough not to scare off my two closest girlfriends while I was part of twi even though I pushed the limits of friendship too far at times. I've known them both from grade school. And I have another close friend from twi. When it all fell apart, we grew closer.
Have fun with your dog training class, it sounds like a lot of fun! Plenty of potential friends there :)-->
I have a group of friends that started to form in the fourth grade. We went through grade school, high school, & college, "gang" fighting, freakdom, Woodstock, peace, hard drugs, cops & robbers, & God. After TWI & I came to the parting of the ways, I called them up & frankly apologized for being an ******* - in losing contact with them.
Of course, they readily forgave me; they're my friends. Being an ******* is common territory.
We discussed back somewhen whether we wanted to be an official gang with jackets & colors or not. We decided instead to all just buy black leathers, chip in money, & have a party whenever we had enough. We called ourselves the Party Pals. I don't think we ever got together without partying.
Now we get together once a year in NY - and party. We are the classic NY group of friends. We've decided to get together every year even until there is only one of us left - at which time that one will lift a drink and toast the Party Pals once a year.
I'm writing a book about us.
It's called The Party Pals.
Call your friends. Family is special. But friends - you choose your friends. I don't know how deep your friendship goes, but if you have friends who love you, call them, sweetheart.
Thanks, GC. I've met some Gspotters this year that I've corresponded with for years and I'm looking forward to meeting Oak, his lady, the !'s and others, but I sure would be nice to call a girlfriend on the spur of the moment for margaritas or whatnot. I miss those days..... Most dog competitors I have have kids my age or have no interest in girls like me who want kids..... if you know what I mean ;)-->
Thomas Heller, I can't wait to read your book. My girlfriend from 6th grade on is living the dream we all lived for. We shared my b.s. years openly and honestly but she has lots of kids so Im keen to try to not intrude on her.
Another friend did sooooooo much for me but has no clue since we lost contact thanks to TWI. I know where she is and have actually driven by her new house with my dog, but not had the guts to directly conact her. I'm working on it because she was such a wonderful friend.
Most I don't want to burden again since I'm still growing through so much.
I appreciate your insight and time; really!! More than you could imagine.
Well, I don't know how well the formatting will copy, but here is the beginning:
This is a work of truth. The details of the work will be argued by many of those involved, and, had every detail been open to them before the final copy, the record would, no doubt, have been more accurate. The names of many of the characters, places, and organizations in this novel have been changed to protect the guilty.
THE PARTY PALS
1
LET THE PARTY BEGIN
LEVITOWN
SUNDAY, NOV. 6, 1949
2:00 P.M.
Proverbs 25:16 ¶Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.
He sucked the liquid, sweet and warm but with a cool current running through it, into his belly where it felt good. There is no more basic human act – except perhaps crying. Sucking, he watched the people all around him smiling, laughing, and poking his stomach gently, wanting him to see them, pleased with him, amazed at his life.
 Oh, what a beautiful boy you are!
 Look at him smile.
 Such a good boy!
 He is a good boy, mother said, scratching him behind his ear as he drank and started to make little “mm†noises, his whole chest and head, his whole world, vibrating with pleasure.
 He loves his milk.
Gradually, sucking and watching, he realized that they were watching him suck and fill himself, knowing he was doing so. His personal act was now a public show, a joining engendering approval. The more he drank, the more energetic became their approval. When the bottle was empty, the approval waned and some left the joining.
He could drink more; urgently he cried now for more.
 I think that’s enough for now.
Mother didn’t want to give him more; more urgently he cried for more, demanded more. Mother followed Dr. Spock religiously. Before Tom was born, his older brother, Mike, had everything done on schedule according to Dr. Spock. He was taken out in his stroller on schedule – even if there was a blizzard. Michael was fed on schedule – whether he was hungry of not. Three and a half years later, Dr. Spock had changed his mind. Little Tommy got his milk whenever he wanted and anything else he wanted, whenever he wanted.
More milk came, and the joining continued once more. What small degree of openness and approval the joining may have lost because of his wailing it made up for by increased amazement.
He felt his stomach fill to full and still he drank, felt it travel quickly up the inside of his chest and still he drank till it filled his mouth and overflowed onto everything only then feeling his stomach heave.
My dad says my mom and I have addictive personalities. I don’t know; it’s the only personality I have. One of the nuns said in elementary school that she didn’t know what I was going to be when I grew up, but whatever I got involved in, I would pursue it with all my heart. My mom says she doesn’t remember anything like the milk incident ever happening; she thinks maybe I dreamed it. I don’t know that either, but it doesn’t seem to matter much to me. Either way, that’s the way I remember it. It’s my life and my story. And I’m sticking to it. But maybe I’ll change it.
Well - that's the beginning.
People seem to like the later criminal incidents type writing - my friend, Carmine seems especially popular, but that's all in note form or, if it is in story form, needs dialogue & fleshing out - I've a long way to go.
Belle, I remember being SO lonely after leaving twi....it was years before I figured out how to make new friends....
NOW however, lol my Mom refuses to go to town with me any more because there isn`t a single stop we make that I don`t run accross somebody who I end up talking with....a 15 miniute trip to wallmart takes two hours because I run into so many buddies....
Getting involved with different groups, theatre, ball teams, humane society, classes, church, all can be great avenues of meet folks and find those kindred spirits.....
It is so much fun to indulge yourself in your OWN interests and to find people who share them...unlike twi where we had to make ourselves fit into somebody elses mold and like whatever the current lc determined was politcally correct.
I have made friends that are as dear to me as my twi friends...and these will never abandon me at the drop of a hat like the good wafers did....you will too, it just takes a little time:-)
Belle, I understand your wanting that kind of friendship. I have never been to a movie with the women I socialize with today. I have not been out to eat with the women I socialize today in at least 3 months.
I am a person who needs and wants companionship. It's how I'm made. I have been lucky to have people in life to share it with. The woman who is going to marry Tom and I has been a friend for almost 11 years.
My friend that I moved to Lincoln thinking I'd get lots of support during a very difficult time in my life (12 years ago) had her own crisis going on and many friends that wanted her time. We had a little time. Then she stopped following through with any plans.
I got to talk to her twice a few months before she died. She died on Christmas day in 2003. I found out a few weeks later. I still get upset over that. She did know about Tom and I was so glad for those moments of seeing her. We hadn't talked in a year due to a bad scene while she was drunk one night.
I almost named my daughter after her. She just couldnt' follow through on stuff however what she gave to me was worth so much when I go get it.
Talk to your higher power and your guardian Angels about wanting people to socialize with. I'll be rootin for ya.
And ya know you can e-mail me. It's working again!!!
When I left twi some of the first people I called were friends from college. There were only three that were really very close and they all were happy to hear I had left. They knew me while i was in and even though they didn't say anything apparently they were concerned behind my back. That is the best kind of thing to have gong on behind your back. :)-->
Unfortunately they had all moved away to other states. I keep in touch through email and occasionally on the phone. I saw two of them on a day weekend trip we took shortly before we left the east coast. I really wish they were closer or that we could visit more often.
I have talked about this with my wife a number of times. While she is my best friend and I love spending time with her and our son, I do wish we had more friends. We had a number of friends in MD but many, for me anyway, were firends of convenience. By that I mean they were friends of friends or friends through work. Things like that. I didn't have friends that were friends because we hit it off and had similar intersts ect.
Now that we've moved we still mostly have friends through work but I actually like a number of them a lot. We really get along. I think it'll take time but these friendships seem like they will grow into something good.
Really, I don't know what to tell you. It is hard to make friends, especially as an adult. Most people have those long-time friendships that is comfortable and they don't need or want any new friends. In college the first few weeks kids were just craving friendship. It was almost like when you were in elementary school..."do you want ot be my friend?" lol As an adult I think people don't want to seem that needy. That is one major problem I have with the ministry....destroying good friendships.
For sure you have to go out and do things and meet people. One thing the G-Spot has done for me is as I have expressed myself here and sort of figured out who I am again I have been much more real and true to who I am when I go out. I used to hold back a little, probably so people didn't figure out I was in a cult. lol Now I am just who I am and the people that like who I am seem to stick and the ones that don't...don't.
I'm sure you will find some folks, and I think you should contact those old friends. Don't be concerned with who they are now or who you were, just who you are now and who you know them to be, and that is old friends. You might be surprised at the welcome you recieve.
And you can always email me if you like. ;)-->
Oh, one more thing....find a place to go swing dancing. :D--> Don't worry if you aren't coordinated, people at these places that have a dance with a lesson before hand are usually very nice and welcome new-comers. I have been to many and have always felt welcomed. The people are usually looking for friends too and good, clean, alcohol free, fun. It was one of these types of places that I met my wife. No that you're looking to do that right now, but I did meet a number of good people and became friends with a lot of them at least for a while.
Or do salsa or what ever sounds good to you. Have fun.
I left my home area after 48 yrs. to try to start new. I had such bad memories constantly, cause of he way and all the bad stuff that happened in that area. I moved to an area where I knew 1 person. I took a RE class and met 2 girlfriends and we have stuck together. altho I recently moved a little further away....we still talk lmost daily..i cannot run out to see them like i used to. I miss that neighborhood feeling.....Its very lonely here too. God Bless.
I got involved with a nice civic organization here.
It took a few years, but I have developed a few friendships, friends that would welcome me into their home almost any hour of the day or night, even without calling ahead.
The friendship is close enough that they don't feel that they have to clean up or prepare for my arrival- it really is kind of nice.
Tom, I asked because I wanted to read it, so this is the perfect place for that kind of post. :)-->
I love it! You left me wanting to read more, though. How old were you? My first memories aren't till I was about 4 years old. I'm impressed!
BTW, I also have been told I have an addictive personality and I can see how that might be. It can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the situation.
I can't wait to read the later criminal incidents! Sounds like you and your Party Pals have some great stories to share.
Rascal, I hated going out with my mom for the very same reasons as your mom not wanting to go out with you. LOL! Now when I go home to visit we hang out in Wal-Mart so I can see people I wouldn't have otherwise looked up while I was there.
quote:
It is so much fun to indulge yourself in your OWN interests and to find people who share them...unlike twi where we had to make ourselves fit into somebody elses mold
That's what attracts us to others, isn't it? Like interests. I've put all my interests on hold for so long that I don't even know what they are anymore. :D--> I'm working on it, though.
Hearing that you've made those dear friends is encouraging.
Reikilady, thank you. I know I always enjoy talking/e-mailing with you.
I'm sorry for your friend. I know people like that who live in such a whirlwind that they are unable to contribute fully consistently. It's like precious drops of nectar when you're the one in their field of focus.
It's great to hear that friends were concerned about you, isn't it? I've learned about so much talk going on behind my back since leaving. People I never suspected of being concerned have mentioned things to me...regarding TWI and my ex and how he treated me.
I know what you mean about the friends of convenience, too. I love my job and the people I work with. We go out for beers occasionally and I get invited to the "Southern Living at Home" and Tupperware parties, but it's not the same. I also have great neighbors and we stand around someone's yard shooting the bull a lot. But again, not the same.
People our age either do already have as many good close friends as they want (friends do take time and we're all short of it) or, like you said, don't feel right saying "Do you want to be my friend? Circle one" LOL!
I've gotten much better at just being me and not taking it personally if someone doesn't like who that is. No sense forcing a relationship (friendship or otherwise) if the "chemistry" isn't there. TWI made us do that. Some of the people in my area I wouldn't have spent 10 minutes with if I didn't have to (and vice versa), but we had to friends because we really didn't have anyone else to turn to.
There's a country/western bar that has line dancing and I think there actually is a swing club downtown....I'm extremely rythm challenged, but it does sound like fun. Thanks for the suggestion and the e-mail offer. ;)-->
THATS what is so very much fun belle, the rediscovering of ourselves.
We have been given a precious gift.....we are able to fully apreciate and enjoy persuing our interests....something most people just take as a matter of course.....our pleasures, our accomplishments are even more to be savored because of our awareness of how precious this freedome is.
What has been of enjoyment to me, wouldn`t necesarily work for you....
Karate classes, Theatre, humane society, softball, church, work, horse training, etc. are the things that I enjoy and meet people doing.
Things I intend to do in the future....classes on quilting, water color painting, or sculpture ....maybe join the county volunteer fire/rescue dept.
I may train a dog for search and rescue to travel (I trained one while in twi, but was never able and travel) around the country (world ?) aiding in disasters and finding lost children....
The options are wide open...it is so exciting.
Maybe you could go to the book store and peruse the titles to find areas of interest.
I find these to be the most exciting and fulfilling days of my entire life..... you will be back on your feet in no time Belle, just try to remember to have fun we have earned that privrlege after all of these years of privation..
We came to MO a year ago knowing one family and one single guy. (We no longer associate with any of them.) We met the most awesome family once we were here. Both the husband and wife are my new best friend.
The wife and I do all the girlie talk and mommy stuff and the husband seems to be the perfect big little brother for me (he's 6 ft. 4 and 13 years younger than me).
They have a daughter the princess' age, one a year younger, and their third daughter is 2. We fit remarkably well together.
If we don't actually see each other every day we definitely speak on the phone a couple times. We eat most of our meals together.
Another lady friend has pretty much fallen into my lap here - we get to visit most every day too.
Not to mention I have a few lady friends I met here at GS (& WD) that I'm close to.
Reading through your thread reminds me how delighted I am with my life. Thanks for that.
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mstar1
Most of mine are pretty good too
well most of the time
o wait thats not what you were getting at
This may sound too obvious byt howzbout Tryin to make new ones or contacting the old ones
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vickles
I think making new friends is a good way. Get involved in organizations that interest you.
It takes time to cultivate a friendship. Not the way it was in twi. Whats nice about cultivating it is that you will find good friends with the same interests.
It took me years to figure that one out. I couldn't figure out how to make a friend. I could put a class together and witness for twi but when it came down to it I didn't know myself to find a friend for me without promoting classes. I don't think that is what real friendship is all about.
I totally understand how you feel, Belle. I think that is why some people may return for a while after leaving twi. They are lonely, only to find that they don't feel the same way about twi as they once did.
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Belle
You're so right, Vickles. I was thinking tonight that the "fake friends" in TWI are no where near worth the no friends or soon-to-be friends waiting for me.
:)--> I can see how some would go back because of giving up family, friends, etc. But I would rather be lonely than subject myself to that fake friendship again.
I have signed up for Dog Training Classes again and they start next week. I'm so excited. I LOVE, LOVE LOVE the border terrier community and people who are into training their dogs like I am. They are all mostly older and with kids, but it's a start and I thoroughly enjoy training with Vixen. If no girlfriends like I crave come from the training, I will have had a blast.
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Belle
Mstar, I think you're absolutely wonderful and someone I could learn lots from.
:D-->
If you were closer I might be considered a stalker.
;)-->
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gc
Belle, I made two new friends by teaching a class in my home. Not a bible class
;)--> but a crocheting class.
I was fortunate enough not to scare off my two closest girlfriends while I was part of twi even though I pushed the limits of friendship too far at times. I've known them both from grade school. And I have another close friend from twi. When it all fell apart, we grew closer.
Have fun with your dog training class, it sounds like a lot of fun! Plenty of potential friends there
:)-->
gc
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Tom
Belle,
I have a group of friends that started to form in the fourth grade. We went through grade school, high school, & college, "gang" fighting, freakdom, Woodstock, peace, hard drugs, cops & robbers, & God. After TWI & I came to the parting of the ways, I called them up & frankly apologized for being an ******* - in losing contact with them.
Of course, they readily forgave me; they're my friends. Being an ******* is common territory.
We discussed back somewhen whether we wanted to be an official gang with jackets & colors or not. We decided instead to all just buy black leathers, chip in money, & have a party whenever we had enough. We called ourselves the Party Pals. I don't think we ever got together without partying.
Now we get together once a year in NY - and party. We are the classic NY group of friends. We've decided to get together every year even until there is only one of us left - at which time that one will lift a drink and toast the Party Pals once a year.
I'm writing a book about us.
It's called The Party Pals.
Call your friends. Family is special. But friends - you choose your friends. I don't know how deep your friendship goes, but if you have friends who love you, call them, sweetheart.
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Belle
Thanks, GC. I've met some Gspotters this year that I've corresponded with for years and I'm looking forward to meeting Oak, his lady, the !'s and others, but I sure would be nice to call a girlfriend on the spur of the moment for margaritas or whatnot. I miss those days..... Most dog competitors I have have kids my age or have no interest in girls like me who want kids..... if you know what I mean
;)-->
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Belle
Thomas Heller, I can't wait to read your book. My girlfriend from 6th grade on is living the dream we all lived for. We shared my b.s. years openly and honestly but she has lots of kids so Im keen to try to not intrude on her.
Another friend did sooooooo much for me but has no clue since we lost contact thanks to TWI. I know where she is and have actually driven by her new house with my dog, but not had the guts to directly conact her. I'm working on it because she was such a wonderful friend.
Most I don't want to burden again since I'm still growing through so much.
I appreciate your insight and time; really!! More than you could imagine.
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Belle
Tom, I would love to read anything you're ready to share.
:)-->
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Tom
Well, I don't know how well the formatting will copy, but here is the beginning:
This is a work of truth. The details of the work will be argued by many of those involved, and, had every detail been open to them before the final copy, the record would, no doubt, have been more accurate. The names of many of the characters, places, and organizations in this novel have been changed to protect the guilty.
THE PARTY PALS
1
LET THE PARTY BEGIN
LEVITOWN
SUNDAY, NOV. 6, 1949
2:00 P.M.
Proverbs 25:16 ¶Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it.
He sucked the liquid, sweet and warm but with a cool current running through it, into his belly where it felt good. There is no more basic human act – except perhaps crying. Sucking, he watched the people all around him smiling, laughing, and poking his stomach gently, wanting him to see them, pleased with him, amazed at his life.
 Oh, what a beautiful boy you are!
 Look at him smile.
 Such a good boy!
 He is a good boy, mother said, scratching him behind his ear as he drank and started to make little “mm†noises, his whole chest and head, his whole world, vibrating with pleasure.
 He loves his milk.
Gradually, sucking and watching, he realized that they were watching him suck and fill himself, knowing he was doing so. His personal act was now a public show, a joining engendering approval. The more he drank, the more energetic became their approval. When the bottle was empty, the approval waned and some left the joining.
He could drink more; urgently he cried now for more.
 I think that’s enough for now.
Mother didn’t want to give him more; more urgently he cried for more, demanded more. Mother followed Dr. Spock religiously. Before Tom was born, his older brother, Mike, had everything done on schedule according to Dr. Spock. He was taken out in his stroller on schedule – even if there was a blizzard. Michael was fed on schedule – whether he was hungry of not. Three and a half years later, Dr. Spock had changed his mind. Little Tommy got his milk whenever he wanted and anything else he wanted, whenever he wanted.
More milk came, and the joining continued once more. What small degree of openness and approval the joining may have lost because of his wailing it made up for by increased amazement.
He felt his stomach fill to full and still he drank, felt it travel quickly up the inside of his chest and still he drank till it filled his mouth and overflowed onto everything only then feeling his stomach heave.
My dad says my mom and I have addictive personalities. I don’t know; it’s the only personality I have. One of the nuns said in elementary school that she didn’t know what I was going to be when I grew up, but whatever I got involved in, I would pursue it with all my heart. My mom says she doesn’t remember anything like the milk incident ever happening; she thinks maybe I dreamed it. I don’t know that either, but it doesn’t seem to matter much to me. Either way, that’s the way I remember it. It’s my life and my story. And I’m sticking to it. But maybe I’ll change it.
Well - that's the beginning.
People seem to like the later criminal incidents type writing - my friend, Carmine seems especially popular, but that's all in note form or, if it is in story form, needs dialogue & fleshing out - I've a long way to go.
Thanks for asking, Belle.
Tom
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Tom
Actually, I suppose this isn't the place for that kind of post - I guess maybe that wasn't what you were asking for or what you expected.
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rascal
Belle, I remember being SO lonely after leaving twi....it was years before I figured out how to make new friends....
NOW however, lol my Mom refuses to go to town with me any more because there isn`t a single stop we make that I don`t run accross somebody who I end up talking with....a 15 miniute trip to wallmart takes two hours because I run into so many buddies....
Getting involved with different groups, theatre, ball teams, humane society, classes, church, all can be great avenues of meet folks and find those kindred spirits.....
It is so much fun to indulge yourself in your OWN interests and to find people who share them...unlike twi where we had to make ourselves fit into somebody elses mold and like whatever the current lc determined was politcally correct.
I have made friends that are as dear to me as my twi friends...and these will never abandon me at the drop of a hat like the good wafers did....you will too, it just takes a little time:-)
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reikilady
Belle, I understand your wanting that kind of friendship. I have never been to a movie with the women I socialize with today. I have not been out to eat with the women I socialize today in at least 3 months.
I am a person who needs and wants companionship. It's how I'm made. I have been lucky to have people in life to share it with. The woman who is going to marry Tom and I has been a friend for almost 11 years.
My friend that I moved to Lincoln thinking I'd get lots of support during a very difficult time in my life (12 years ago) had her own crisis going on and many friends that wanted her time. We had a little time. Then she stopped following through with any plans.
I got to talk to her twice a few months before she died. She died on Christmas day in 2003. I found out a few weeks later. I still get upset over that. She did know about Tom and I was so glad for those moments of seeing her. We hadn't talked in a year due to a bad scene while she was drunk one night.
I almost named my daughter after her. She just couldnt' follow through on stuff however what she gave to me was worth so much when I go get it.
Talk to your higher power and your guardian Angels about wanting people to socialize with. I'll be rootin for ya.
And ya know you can e-mail me. It's working again!!!
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lindyhopper
I hear ya, Belle.
When I left twi some of the first people I called were friends from college. There were only three that were really very close and they all were happy to hear I had left. They knew me while i was in and even though they didn't say anything apparently they were concerned behind my back. That is the best kind of thing to have gong on behind your back.
:)-->
Unfortunately they had all moved away to other states. I keep in touch through email and occasionally on the phone. I saw two of them on a day weekend trip we took shortly before we left the east coast. I really wish they were closer or that we could visit more often.
I have talked about this with my wife a number of times. While she is my best friend and I love spending time with her and our son, I do wish we had more friends. We had a number of friends in MD but many, for me anyway, were firends of convenience. By that I mean they were friends of friends or friends through work. Things like that. I didn't have friends that were friends because we hit it off and had similar intersts ect.
Now that we've moved we still mostly have friends through work but I actually like a number of them a lot. We really get along. I think it'll take time but these friendships seem like they will grow into something good.
Really, I don't know what to tell you. It is hard to make friends, especially as an adult. Most people have those long-time friendships that is comfortable and they don't need or want any new friends. In college the first few weeks kids were just craving friendship. It was almost like when you were in elementary school..."do you want ot be my friend?" lol As an adult I think people don't want to seem that needy. That is one major problem I have with the ministry....destroying good friendships.
For sure you have to go out and do things and meet people. One thing the G-Spot has done for me is as I have expressed myself here and sort of figured out who I am again I have been much more real and true to who I am when I go out. I used to hold back a little, probably so people didn't figure out I was in a cult. lol Now I am just who I am and the people that like who I am seem to stick and the ones that don't...don't.
I'm sure you will find some folks, and I think you should contact those old friends. Don't be concerned with who they are now or who you were, just who you are now and who you know them to be, and that is old friends. You might be surprised at the welcome you recieve.
And you can always email me if you like.
;)-->
Oh, one more thing....find a place to go swing dancing.
:D--> Don't worry if you aren't coordinated, people at these places that have a dance with a lesson before hand are usually very nice and welcome new-comers. I have been to many and have always felt welcomed. The people are usually looking for friends too and good, clean, alcohol free, fun. It was one of these types of places that I met my wife. No that you're looking to do that right now, but I did meet a number of good people and became friends with a lot of them at least for a while.
Or do salsa or what ever sounds good to you. Have fun.
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likeaneagle
BELLE-
I left my home area after 48 yrs. to try to start new. I had such bad memories constantly, cause of he way and all the bad stuff that happened in that area. I moved to an area where I knew 1 person. I took a RE class and met 2 girlfriends and we have stuck together. altho I recently moved a little further away....we still talk lmost daily..i cannot run out to see them like i used to. I miss that neighborhood feeling.....Its very lonely here too. God Bless.
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Zshot
I am currently looking for a girlfriend that lives in the same area as I do.
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mstar1
Well thank You
:)-->,
no reason to be a stalker in the shadows, my door is always unlocked, come on in and be yourself....
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Ham
I got involved with a nice civic organization here.
It took a few years, but I have developed a few friendships, friends that would welcome me into their home almost any hour of the day or night, even without calling ahead.
The friendship is close enough that they don't feel that they have to clean up or prepare for my arrival- it really is kind of nice.
I wouldn't abuse it though..
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Belle
Tom, I asked because I wanted to read it, so this is the perfect place for that kind of post.
:)-->
I love it! You left me wanting to read more, though. How old were you? My first memories aren't till I was about 4 years old. I'm impressed!
BTW, I also have been told I have an addictive personality and I can see how that might be. It can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the situation.
I can't wait to read the later criminal incidents! Sounds like you and your Party Pals have some great stories to share.
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Belle
Rascal, I hated going out with my mom for the very same reasons as your mom not wanting to go out with you. LOL! Now when I go home to visit we hang out in Wal-Mart so I can see people I wouldn't have otherwise looked up while I was there.
That's what attracts us to others, isn't it? Like interests. I've put all my interests on hold for so long that I don't even know what they are anymore.
:D--> I'm working on it, though.
Hearing that you've made those dear friends is encouraging.
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Belle
Reikilady, thank you. I know I always enjoy talking/e-mailing with you.
I'm sorry for your friend. I know people like that who live in such a whirlwind that they are unable to contribute fully consistently. It's like precious drops of nectar when you're the one in their field of focus.
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Belle
Lindy,
It's great to hear that friends were concerned about you, isn't it? I've learned about so much talk going on behind my back since leaving. People I never suspected of being concerned have mentioned things to me...regarding TWI and my ex and how he treated me.
I know what you mean about the friends of convenience, too. I love my job and the people I work with. We go out for beers occasionally and I get invited to the "Southern Living at Home" and Tupperware parties, but it's not the same. I also have great neighbors and we stand around someone's yard shooting the bull a lot. But again, not the same.
People our age either do already have as many good close friends as they want (friends do take time and we're all short of it) or, like you said, don't feel right saying "Do you want to be my friend? Circle one" LOL!
I've gotten much better at just being me and not taking it personally if someone doesn't like who that is. No sense forcing a relationship (friendship or otherwise) if the "chemistry" isn't there. TWI made us do that. Some of the people in my area I wouldn't have spent 10 minutes with if I didn't have to (and vice versa), but we had to friends because we really didn't have anyone else to turn to.
There's a country/western bar that has line dancing and I think there actually is a swing club downtown....I'm extremely rythm challenged, but it does sound like fun. Thanks for the suggestion and the e-mail offer.
;)-->
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rascal
THATS what is so very much fun belle, the rediscovering of ourselves.
We have been given a precious gift.....we are able to fully apreciate and enjoy persuing our interests....something most people just take as a matter of course.....our pleasures, our accomplishments are even more to be savored because of our awareness of how precious this freedome is.
What has been of enjoyment to me, wouldn`t necesarily work for you....
Karate classes, Theatre, humane society, softball, church, work, horse training, etc. are the things that I enjoy and meet people doing.
Things I intend to do in the future....classes on quilting, water color painting, or sculpture ....maybe join the county volunteer fire/rescue dept.
I may train a dog for search and rescue to travel (I trained one while in twi, but was never able and travel) around the country (world ?) aiding in disasters and finding lost children....
The options are wide open...it is so exciting.
Maybe you could go to the book store and peruse the titles to find areas of interest.
I find these to be the most exciting and fulfilling days of my entire life..... you will be back on your feet in no time Belle, just try to remember to have fun we have earned that privrlege after all of these years of privation..
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bowtwi
We came to MO a year ago knowing one family and one single guy. (We no longer associate with any of them.) We met the most awesome family once we were here. Both the husband and wife are my new best friend.
The wife and I do all the girlie talk and mommy stuff and the husband seems to be the perfect big little brother for me (he's 6 ft. 4 and 13 years younger than me).
They have a daughter the princess' age, one a year younger, and their third daughter is 2. We fit remarkably well together.
If we don't actually see each other every day we definitely speak on the phone a couple times. We eat most of our meals together.
Another lady friend has pretty much fallen into my lap here - we get to visit most every day too.
Not to mention I have a few lady friends I met here at GS (& WD) that I'm close to.
Reading through your thread reminds me how delighted I am with my life. Thanks for that.
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