MR P! I'm surprised at you!!!!! That was a dirty TRICK!!!LOL!
Seriously though I bet you wouldn't have to search Google to hard to find a similar website that was FOR REAL.
i don't know for sure that it's humor, but judging by what they have on there, I can only assume it is. I like humor sites like those. I read The Onion regularly, and there was another fake religious site that I lost track of that was pretty amusing.
Of course, there are real lunatic sites that look like a joke that aren't. Fred Phelps' site is one example.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO please please say that site is not for real!!!!!!!
How can you reclaim what you never had! This is a holiday of people who do not belive in a devil (as it was pointed out) there for it can not be a demon or devil holiday either. I did find an interesting thing about the holiday that is a nice folk tale;
Enjoy, and Happy Samhain/Halloween!
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a man named Jack. Jack was a handsome man, big and strong, and great in both strength and skill in battle. He had many friends, and many a young lass pined after him.
It so happened once, when Jack was in the midst of a battle, laying low the foes of his tribe, that he suddenly saw a wondrous vision. A woman, beautiful beyond his wildest dreams, dark of hair and eye, and with skin as pale as virgin snow, riding a flaming chariot, spear in hand, and a raven on each shoulder. As the chariot drew close, the woman spoke to Jack.
"Come with me," she said, "for I love Thee, and would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Chooser of the Slain, and I am not ready to die." Bright sparked the eyes of the Goddess in pride and anger, and She wheeled her chariot and was gone from Jack's vision. But as he stood there, frozen in awe, an enemy warrior struck him a great sword blow across the face. Jack did not die from his wound, but his face was forever ruined, and the lasses that pined after him before, now ran from him in fear. And so Jack did not marry.
Time passed. Jack learned the art of a harper, and became known across the land for his beautiful melodies, for though he could not sing, his hands were skilled and gentle on the harp strings, and his lilting tunes brought both joy and sadness to the heart. It so happened once, that when Jack was traveling, he stopped at an Inn on the crossroads. He was served his dinner by a beautiful middle-aged woman, full of figure, with dark, all-knowing eyes, and raven tresses braided in a crown around her pale face. When Jack got into his wagon and was ready to travel on, this same woman, wearing a dark cloak, stepped from the shadow of a nearest tree.
"Do not travel further, Jack," she said in a husky voice, "Come with me instead, for I love Thee, and I would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Phantom Queen, and I am not ready to die." Bright sparked the eyes of the Goddess in pride and anger, and She whirled around, her dark cloak flaring around her like the wing of a raven, and disappeared into the shadow.
Jack continued on, but not half a mile along the road his horses spooked and ran wild, his wagon overturned, and he was gravely wounded when he fell out and was caught under the wheel. He did not die, but he lost his arm, and could play his harp no more.
Time passed. Though Jack was never again a warrior or a harper, his family cared kindly for him. But everyone grows old, and in time, his brothers got old, and his sisters got old, and the younger generation no longer cared for him as well as his own siblings.
It so happened once, that right after his last brother's death, Jack was crossing a small river at a ford. It was late Autumn, and he paused on the bank to take off his shoes and socks, and roll up his breaches before wading into the almost-freezing water. Then, when he looked up again, he noticed something strange. While the bank he was on was still red and gold with Autumn leaves, the other bank was white with snow and lay in a thick blanket, as if it had been there for weeks. Amidst the snows, behind the dark shapes of old, gnarled trees, he saw a village, half-hidden in the mist. Warm, golden light shined from the windows of the houses that seemed familiar and welcoming to him. In front of one of the houses he thought he saw his dead brother wave and fade into the gathering gloom. He also noticed an old woman on the other side, crouched by the water, and covered in dark, shapeless rags. She seemed to be washing something in the river, and her arms were red up to the elbows, and where she touched the water, the river ran red as blood. To his horror, Jack noticed that what she was washing looked very much like his own best embroidered tunic that he was wearing for his brother's funeral. The old woman looked up, and her face was as white as snow and deeply lined, with grey wisps of hair framing it like a halo, and deeply sunken black eyes that seemed like the pits of the night.
"Cross the river, and come to me, Jack," she said in a harsh, raspy voice, "for I love Thee, and I would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Hag, the Washer at the Ford, and I am not ready to die."
Suddenly, where before there was an old woman, The Great Queen stood in all Her Otherworldly majesty, the dark rags magically transforming into the dark wings of a raven.
"Thou art a fool, Jack!" She raged, as her black tresses flew wildly around Her face, and her eyes flamed like stars at midnight. "Thrice thy time came, and thrice I offered thee my love, for I had chosen thee as a wife would choose a husband. Thou could have been a young warrior at my side. Thou could have woven songs of splendor at my feasts. Thou could have lived with me in peace and with thy family about thee. And thrice you rejected me out of fear. Now I reject thee. Never more shall I come to thee. Never more shall I call to thee. But by my curse thou shalt live for as long as this candle burns."
She reached across the river - it seemed easy now, for She was more then human - and placed a candle on the ground at Jack's feet. Then she was gone, the snow and the misty village disappearing with Her, leaving nothing but an Autumn forest behind.
At first, Jack was terrified. The candle was small - surely it would burn down and die within minutes, and Jack along with it. But as minutes passed, he felt great relief, for not a drop of wax rolled down the side of the candle, and it did not seem to be burning down at all. Carefully guarding the flame of the candle, Jack went home.
Time passed. Year after year, the time rolled by in unending cycles. Everyone whom Jack had known as a young man had long since passed away. No one was left who even knew who he was, and in his small village he was treated as a crazy old man, a burden on everyone, and a helper to none, for while he lived on and on, he also got older and older, and weaker and weaker, and even his mind started giving out after awhile. After a very long time, all he knew was that he had to keep his candle burning, lest he die.
His house fell into ruin, his field went untended, and all that would grow there were some turnips that his neighbors planted for him out of kindness. One night, a lightening bolt struck his house, and it burned down. Jack then took one of the turnips from his field, carved it into a lantern, and put his candle there, so that it would be protected from the rain.
He left his village and started wandering about with his lantern, looking for and calling to friends and family long gone. His body grew older and older, until even his flesh disappeared, leaving only a spirit without physical substance. He hardly even noticed, for even as a spirit he still could not pass to the Other World, wandering with his lantern, a sad and lonely ghost, forever cursed from his fate by his fear.
And that is why turnip lanterns and now pumpkin lanterns - are called Jack-o-lanterns, and that is why we light them on Samhain - to remember Jack and his great fear, and to light the way for all the lost souls wandering about in the darkness looking for the passage to the Otherworld.
Well, halloween was pretty good this year. Last year some kids on bikes stole two of my kids' candy, so this year I put on a large red bath robe with a hood and took my 18' extension pole (sturdy 6' long unextended) that I normally use for window cleaning and went out as Moses. I actually got several compliments on my "costume" but me and the three kids went together for an hour and a half and got a good haul.
One house actually did give us religious tracts, but after they gave us candy. They were OK.
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Mister P-Mosh
i don't know for sure that it's humor, but judging by what they have on there, I can only assume it is. I like humor sites like those. I read The Onion regularly, and there was another fake religious site that I lost track of that was pretty amusing.
Of course, there are real lunatic sites that look like a joke that aren't. Fred Phelps' site is one example.
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mstar1
"Diamond Jack also enjoys vexillology and can signal Bible passages from memory in fluent semaphore."
The writers are very good, they have a wonderful sense of the absurd,
Would this be the one you lost track of?
Landover Baptist
Not as subtle but humorous nonetheless
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RottieGrrrl
Yeah Mr. P Fred Phelp's site is what immediately came to my mind too. Man o man that guy is a twisted pretzel.
...Ain't no grave, gonna hold this body down..when I hear that trumpet sound...
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Ayla
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO please please say that site is not for real!!!!!!!
How can you reclaim what you never had! This is a holiday of people who do not belive in a devil (as it was pointed out) there for it can not be a demon or devil holiday either. I did find an interesting thing about the holiday that is a nice folk tale;
Enjoy, and Happy Samhain/Halloween!
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a man named Jack. Jack was a handsome man, big and strong, and great in both strength and skill in battle. He had many friends, and many a young lass pined after him.
It so happened once, when Jack was in the midst of a battle, laying low the foes of his tribe, that he suddenly saw a wondrous vision. A woman, beautiful beyond his wildest dreams, dark of hair and eye, and with skin as pale as virgin snow, riding a flaming chariot, spear in hand, and a raven on each shoulder. As the chariot drew close, the woman spoke to Jack.
"Come with me," she said, "for I love Thee, and would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Chooser of the Slain, and I am not ready to die." Bright sparked the eyes of the Goddess in pride and anger, and She wheeled her chariot and was gone from Jack's vision. But as he stood there, frozen in awe, an enemy warrior struck him a great sword blow across the face. Jack did not die from his wound, but his face was forever ruined, and the lasses that pined after him before, now ran from him in fear. And so Jack did not marry.
Time passed. Jack learned the art of a harper, and became known across the land for his beautiful melodies, for though he could not sing, his hands were skilled and gentle on the harp strings, and his lilting tunes brought both joy and sadness to the heart. It so happened once, that when Jack was traveling, he stopped at an Inn on the crossroads. He was served his dinner by a beautiful middle-aged woman, full of figure, with dark, all-knowing eyes, and raven tresses braided in a crown around her pale face. When Jack got into his wagon and was ready to travel on, this same woman, wearing a dark cloak, stepped from the shadow of a nearest tree.
"Do not travel further, Jack," she said in a husky voice, "Come with me instead, for I love Thee, and I would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Phantom Queen, and I am not ready to die." Bright sparked the eyes of the Goddess in pride and anger, and She whirled around, her dark cloak flaring around her like the wing of a raven, and disappeared into the shadow.
Jack continued on, but not half a mile along the road his horses spooked and ran wild, his wagon overturned, and he was gravely wounded when he fell out and was caught under the wheel. He did not die, but he lost his arm, and could play his harp no more.
Time passed. Though Jack was never again a warrior or a harper, his family cared kindly for him. But everyone grows old, and in time, his brothers got old, and his sisters got old, and the younger generation no longer cared for him as well as his own siblings.
It so happened once, that right after his last brother's death, Jack was crossing a small river at a ford. It was late Autumn, and he paused on the bank to take off his shoes and socks, and roll up his breaches before wading into the almost-freezing water. Then, when he looked up again, he noticed something strange. While the bank he was on was still red and gold with Autumn leaves, the other bank was white with snow and lay in a thick blanket, as if it had been there for weeks. Amidst the snows, behind the dark shapes of old, gnarled trees, he saw a village, half-hidden in the mist. Warm, golden light shined from the windows of the houses that seemed familiar and welcoming to him. In front of one of the houses he thought he saw his dead brother wave and fade into the gathering gloom. He also noticed an old woman on the other side, crouched by the water, and covered in dark, shapeless rags. She seemed to be washing something in the river, and her arms were red up to the elbows, and where she touched the water, the river ran red as blood. To his horror, Jack noticed that what she was washing looked very much like his own best embroidered tunic that he was wearing for his brother's funeral. The old woman looked up, and her face was as white as snow and deeply lined, with grey wisps of hair framing it like a halo, and deeply sunken black eyes that seemed like the pits of the night.
"Cross the river, and come to me, Jack," she said in a harsh, raspy voice, "for I love Thee, and I would have Thee with me for all time."
But Jack was frightened, for he recognized the woman for what She was. "I do not wish to go with Thee," he answered in a shaking voice, "I know Thee - Thou art the Morrigan, the Hag, the Washer at the Ford, and I am not ready to die."
Suddenly, where before there was an old woman, The Great Queen stood in all Her Otherworldly majesty, the dark rags magically transforming into the dark wings of a raven.
"Thou art a fool, Jack!" She raged, as her black tresses flew wildly around Her face, and her eyes flamed like stars at midnight. "Thrice thy time came, and thrice I offered thee my love, for I had chosen thee as a wife would choose a husband. Thou could have been a young warrior at my side. Thou could have woven songs of splendor at my feasts. Thou could have lived with me in peace and with thy family about thee. And thrice you rejected me out of fear. Now I reject thee. Never more shall I come to thee. Never more shall I call to thee. But by my curse thou shalt live for as long as this candle burns."
She reached across the river - it seemed easy now, for She was more then human - and placed a candle on the ground at Jack's feet. Then she was gone, the snow and the misty village disappearing with Her, leaving nothing but an Autumn forest behind.
At first, Jack was terrified. The candle was small - surely it would burn down and die within minutes, and Jack along with it. But as minutes passed, he felt great relief, for not a drop of wax rolled down the side of the candle, and it did not seem to be burning down at all. Carefully guarding the flame of the candle, Jack went home.
Time passed. Year after year, the time rolled by in unending cycles. Everyone whom Jack had known as a young man had long since passed away. No one was left who even knew who he was, and in his small village he was treated as a crazy old man, a burden on everyone, and a helper to none, for while he lived on and on, he also got older and older, and weaker and weaker, and even his mind started giving out after awhile. After a very long time, all he knew was that he had to keep his candle burning, lest he die.
His house fell into ruin, his field went untended, and all that would grow there were some turnips that his neighbors planted for him out of kindness. One night, a lightening bolt struck his house, and it burned down. Jack then took one of the turnips from his field, carved it into a lantern, and put his candle there, so that it would be protected from the rain.
He left his village and started wandering about with his lantern, looking for and calling to friends and family long gone. His body grew older and older, until even his flesh disappeared, leaving only a spirit without physical substance. He hardly even noticed, for even as a spirit he still could not pass to the Other World, wandering with his lantern, a sad and lonely ghost, forever cursed from his fate by his fear.
And that is why turnip lanterns and now pumpkin lanterns - are called Jack-o-lanterns, and that is why we light them on Samhain - to remember Jack and his great fear, and to light the way for all the lost souls wandering about in the darkness looking for the passage to the Otherworld.
"The young and vibrant fairy godmother"
www.enchantedshire.com
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excathedra
poor jack
oh the fear in the heart and life of that pumpkin
?
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johniam
Well, halloween was pretty good this year. Last year some kids on bikes stole two of my kids' candy, so this year I put on a large red bath robe with a hood and took my 18' extension pole (sturdy 6' long unextended) that I normally use for window cleaning and went out as Moses. I actually got several compliments on my "costume" but me and the three kids went together for an hour and a half and got a good haul.
One house actually did give us religious tracts, but after they gave us candy. They were OK.
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