Jump to content
GreaseSpot Cafe

Unconventional Marriage-- at least according to The Way


Catcup
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hi Catcup. Thanx for the thread.

The Mrs. & I celebrated our tenth revolution around the sun together, & while IMO TWI was a good foundation to build on, they are not "all that". What they turned out to be is a nosy, two-faced, lying, sorry excuse of a cult whose spineless members will attempt to insert their noses into areas they don't belong...if you let them!!! More than a few Wayfer "clergy" have told my Mrs. that she was too "bossy"..."headstrong"..."mouthy"...right.

These were men married to women that had all the attraction of cold lumpy oatmeal. If you didn't see them smile, you wouldn't know they were there.

I've had to check them before our departure...1)I'm in charge of my house. I'm not some spineless jellyfish, nor do I have so much testosterone in my system that I can't ask my wife for advice or counsul. 2) I know who I married. I married her; you didn't. If I'd wanted your wife, I'd have married your wife.

We have common interests,yes; but we're not twins...yeccch, boring. And, to me, the biggest thing that kept our marriage together while so many other Wayfers were under strain, or split, is that we talk to one another!!! The biggest mistake we (and many of us Greasespotters) made was confiding in some Wayfer we thought we could trust, only to have what we shared thrown in our faces.

I look at how derVey has destroyed marriages, then told the remaining Wayfer how "Godly" they were, how they refused to let the adversary keep them from _____________________ (insert bull**** Wayphrase here)& wonder how these legalistic a**holes sleep, & what Wayphrase they think God is gonna buy when they finally stand tall in front of Him?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 98
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I gotta chime in on this one...

We've been married almost 29 years...met as wow's and we were married the following year by G. Hendl*y...covenant of salt and all the standard way hoopla.

In our twi years we tried to operate the conventional way. Lucky for me I married a nice guy who stayed nice. The main source of marital trouble during those years almost always involved him letting twi responsibilities come before marriage and family. He didn't stand up for himself and say no to leadershi+, so he ended up with no spare time...and this was in the 80's, long before twi2's reign of terror. Before going in the corps we got "counseling" from the branch coordinator and guess what? I needed to be more submissive and quit complaining that I never saw my husband. I wondered if I might be holding him back "spiritually" and that he would go farther without me. I had a constant struggle between those feelings and the muffled screaming from my gut that told me something was wrong with the way. I guess we all got used to ignoring that voice...

When we decided to leave at the end of '86 hubs' approach to finding out what to keep and what to toss from twi doctrine was kind of like bulldozing a brick wall, and I preferred to take the wall apart brick by brick. At that time I thought the only thing screwed up was leadership and piffle was ok. It scared the hell out of me that we didn't always agree on doctrine. I knew it was right that we left twi when we did but that didn't stop me from grilling him on each "new" hole he found in way doctrine. I was not only shaken by old beliefs crumbling, but I was afraid that he would jump on somebody else's looney doctrinal train and that we'd end up in another mess. I didn't give him enough credit. We never wasted a minute in one of the "other ways".

We agree on some things and disagree on others, in both politics and religion. It's o.k. to think differently. Geez...what a concept.

My point to any innies, or recent outies, for that matter, is that two fully-working brains are much better than one "likeminded" glob of twissue.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dear catcup, i think this thread is bull****

you're sidestepping

and somehow you blamed it on song if i'm correct

we're not talking about people going to different churches or being republicans or democrats

we're talking about the cult we came from

your husband geek is ordained in a ministry that sees wierwille as the man of god

if he were my husband, i would be off the wall

so even though i haven't read the whole thread

i think you are trying to justify yourself

go for it

but i don't buy it for a second

and i'm not marking and avoiding you

how can i ? i'm not in anything

but i sure as hell would steer clear of anyone and anything that looks up to veepee

sorry

so everyone get mad at me

what can i say ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

and ps. yeah so song has an issue with shroyer

yeah let him take it up with him, fine

but i wouldn't join anything to do with that group

and if my spouse did, i would wonder where his marbles are

sorry i don't have the feel goodness you and others do

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand your feelings ex, and agree....

My husband enjoyed the materials put out by cff for a while....and was deeply disturbed that I stubbornly eschewed anything that gave credence to twi teachings.

We really believed that it was vital to remain *like minded* on EVERY thing.... both of us felt that maybe our *doctrinal* differences would spell the end of our marriage.

He was pretty nasty about my abandoning the *truth*

lol....low n behold, guess who has actually come around to my way of thinking....it just took some time and space.

We have learned to allow each other to grow in the manner that each deems best....it is so nice not to have to follow Marks path ..... I am free to learn in the manner that suits me...and not feel guilty that it no longer involves intense scriptural studies.

What is funny is that we end up on the same page eventually

in spite of our vastly different aproaches.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Looked like an inquisition to me. "Are you now, or were you ever, a member of the communist party.."

Gave me a picture of ole Joe McCarthy working over some poor slob..

I look at offshoots with a wary eye too, but I thought the "interrogation" was going a little too far.

But who knows, maybe he had a good reason for asking.. just not obvious to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
Raf

Wrote posting at GS into work contract

Posted July 02, 2005 13:12

Forgive my late entry into this, but why did it take me this long to realize that Catcup is Mrs. Geek?

Posts: 6330 | Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL | Registered: June 07, 2002

Radar O'Reilly

Holy Grail, I don't need no stinkin Holy Grail

Posted July 02, 2005 14:19

Raf,

YOU ARE KIDDING, RIGHT?

Six years later and you just figured that out?

Okay, Raf....another news alert for you.....

RADAR IS A GIRL!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmm, now you have me wondering about your investigative news nose.

Radar

Takes a long time to understand KISS

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i don't see an interrogation here

this is a public forum and we are free to express ourselves and our opinions

here is my expression of my personal opinion:

having been sexually assaulted by wierwille, i would have a very hard time dealing with my spouse if he was a leader in a twit offshoot

also regarding shroyers offshoot, when you see how their outfit is set up and their teachings and calendars, i would swear i was back at the way international

so i understand how song saw the irony in catcup posting about waybrain. i think that's the point he was trying to make.

gotta go get coffee oops is that a derail ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes it is a public forum and I have every right to post here as well-- whether you like it or not. And on any thread I choose.

Part of leaving that cornfield cult was learning to get along with people who may hold vastly differing ideas from mine.

I see there are some who still have not learned that lesson, and cannot fathom that my husband and I can have vastly differing ideas and still love and respect one another in a marriage.

Sorry to inform you, but you still hold ideas promulgated by The Way International yourself, that the husband and wife must agree on every tiny detail, and if not, there certainly must be something wrong with them.

You reveal the intolerance that The Way International holds, and which you hold on to, to this very day.

Some also have not learned that even within a church-- or what some would consider an "offshoot," there are people who are allowed to hold ideas and doctrines that vary from one person to the next, without excommunicating one another.

I regret to inform you that you still have clung to the idea promulgated by The Way International, that everyone MUST think alike or they are not allowed in your "club."

Holding on to these remnants of behavior reveals that you STILL cannot respect people who hold ideas different from your own.

I see also, that there are those here who want to do nothing more than falsely accuse innocent parties, and do not accept the truth when it is handed to them. Instead, they would rather follow these people around and pick their lives apart, twisting another person's words to their own ends.

This, too is a holdover of the witch hunts from The Way International.

I think it is obvious that some folks here have an agenda to follow wherever I post, and throw the threads off topic by attacking a ministry my husband affiliates with--

especially when I did NOT bring it up.

Edited by Catcup
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Raf-- from the beginning (WayDale) Geek and I posted that we are married to each other. But it's not something we talked about on the board constantly, so if you came in later at WD or later still on GSC, you may have missed it.

But I am sure, if anyone wanted to (Song-- since you think Raf's inquiry is sooooooo "serious"), they could look up various posts where over all the years not just at WD but right here at GSC, where when talking about what has happened to my family at the hands of TWI, when referring to my husband and myself, many times I referred to "Geek and I."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

quote:
promulgated

A question...

Besides ex-twi folks, is there anybody else in the whole known universe that uses this word in every day language?

Or two...

Did twi even get this word right...

prom·ul·gate ( P ) Pronunciation Key (prml-gt, pr-mlgt)

tr.v. prom·ul·gat·ed, prom·ul·gat·ing, prom·ul·gates

1.To make known (a decree, for example) by public declaration; announce officially. See Synonyms at announce.

2.To put (a law) into effect by formal public announcement.

promulgate

Main Entry: come out

Part of Speech: verb 1

Definition: inform

Synonyms: appear, be announced, be disclosed, be divulged, be exposed, be issued, be promulgated, be published, be released, be reported, be revealed, break, debut, get out, leak, out, transpire

Antonyms: conceal, hide, keep quiet

...?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Catcup,

I LOVE what you say about your marriage!

Realizing that a husband and wife do not have to think, feel, believe or anything else exactly alike is a freedom I now cherish. It is also an attitude that, once adopted, is saving my sanity...as well as my marriage.

I would LOVE to read this thread without the twi-like lashing out, finger pointing, a$$ reaming, condescension...etc...

Ya know?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

Announcements


×
×
  • Create New...