Even abusive parents and alcoholics have moments of clarity and lovingkindness. It doesn't make them good people or take away from the fact that they are horrible, abusive, evil people.
Actually, I think he was an abusive alcoholic. He, in my opinion, was literally sick (no rock throwing intended, just trying to understand him in a kinder way).
It was no gift, though. It came at a cost. "It" was there, and I was there, and then "it" left, and that's that, and life goes on. If I walked back into the same atmosphere, if ROA '74 was ROA '05, I don't think I'd see "it" as so real, and so genuine, and so authentic, anymore.
Yeah, for me that cost was probably extremely high. Wierwille was a "pied piper," who bewitched a lot of kids into pouring their youth into the impossible realization of his fantasy world.
I didn't "lose" my youth either. The energy we have at that age can build the foundation for a life's work. It's nothing to work 80 - 120 hours a week if you have to. Now, an 80-hour week is not so easy. I can't complain, but I have friends who are now executive VP's, esteemed doctors, the owners of growing businesses... I'm still living by my wits while many contemporaries (and "equals" I think) are living off their equity.
If it hadn't been Wierwille, perhaps it would have been someone else. I don't know. The appeal of TWI was its unique ("Christian") credibility. I gave them the benefit of the doubt on that account. Regrettably.
Thanks Too Gray Now, you're right, Ex-Cathy as well.I wasn't aiming it at anyone, but maybe some of the ex-exers really need to post their 'beliefs' in the 'beliefs section'.
Satoori,whatever works you have done will be added up one day, this life is way too short to get hung up on it.
I am one of these ones with business diplomas etc..( 5 years, 8 papers ) but I choose to keep 'peddling' the Bible.My brother-in-laws who all own their own businesses think I'm nuts but what the hay !!
My husband certainly sidetracked his career in order to 'do the Word'. He had several great job promotions that would have taken us to cities with out fellowships. In the nineties there were only about 4 cities in the state we lived in that had active fellowships, so he turned them down. Had to stay where the Word is hot and all that.
He does have an opportunity coming up, which means a big move, and we're glad about that.
It is odd visiting my many cousins, most of them are near my husband and I in age, and seeing the houses they now have, the types of jobs they have, how little they've moved around etc--we're still in a 'starter' home, and glad to even have that!
As far as the idea that we need to hush up about non way like beliefs, I say if an innie would rather stay in, and live with abuse, than go out into the big wide world with Trinitarians and Hindus etc, then they have bigger issues than can be fixed on an internet forum.
I didn't "lose" my youth either. The energy we have at that age can build the foundation for a life's work. It's nothing to work 80 - 120 hours a week if you have to. Now, an 80-hour week is not so easy. I can't complain, but I have friends who are now executive VP's, esteemed doctors, the owners of growing businesses... I'm still living by my wits while many contemporaries (and "equals" I think) are living off their equity.
If it hadn't been Wierwille, perhaps it would have been someone else. I don't know. The appeal of TWI was its unique ("Christian") credibility. I gave them the benefit of the doubt on that account. Regrettably.
satori,
Beautifully stated! I've often had those same thoughts.
I think the deal with Wierwille is that he was one of those people that just was never going to work for someone else. Add to that his obvious desire to be esteemed. Didn't matter if he was the MOG for the whole world or CEO of some company...he wasn't going to take orders from anyone else. He had to be the big cheese. I believe he saw "ministry" as a way to achieve both goals. In his youth, the ministers were most likely held in great esteem, you know in that "German work ethic" culture of his. By going into the ministry he would be more educated than the local farming folks he grew up with, he could avoid the hard life than farming requires, he could avoid military service ( so he could "work the Word" [snort, chuckle], and he would have the esteem of his local community. Once he began working for a denomination, it was only a matter of time before he broke away to form his own group. Of course, God would have to supernaturally intervene and give him a personal invitation, or so he wanted us to believe.
Was his 'spirituality" genuine during all of this. I think not. It was a means to an end. His lifestyle gives abundant evidence of this.
I don't know if he ever envisioned a day where there would be 15,000 GEA's [glassy eyed adherents] sitting under a big tent on his ancestral farm land. Most likely his aim was just to get a local following,(maybe more than local), deliver his shrink wrapped, plagerized Bible classes, and collect the cash. Big fish, small pond. But he would be giving the orders. Somehow in the process, which includes the culture of the mid to late sixties and early seventies, he was able to capitalize on a bunch of gullible young people. Thus, what we know as TWI. When those braless hippie girls started showing up on a farm in Ohio, he became intoxicated with himself. The SCAM had taken root.
"Losing our youth" is a term that I have heard on GSC several times over the past couple of years. I too have felt that I lost, or at least, wasted much of my youth due to TWI.
Today, however, I don't blame Wierscam or TWI for ruining my youth. I take responisbility for that. I do blame them for not being what they said they were. I take responsibility for my decisions, but I did not live in a vaccuum.
He went back to school, and got started on a "career" (such as it is). But by then he was in his thirties, so he got a late start and still hasn't caught up, to hear him tell it.
My ex did the same thing. He gave up a primo position with an awesome department doing what he absoluteley LOVED to do in order to go WOW and then into the WC. Got kicked out of the WC shortly before graduation for some totally absurd idiotic and false reasons. They so destroyed his self-esteem that he didn't even get back "on track" so to speak until after we had been married for two or three years. During that time I completely supported us and gladly at that since he was going to be getting back into the line of work that he liked and it would be a steady paycheck and a much better paycheck than what he had been getting.
He was a totally different man after finishing his re-certification courses and getting back into law enforcement. He still only has a few years of saving piddly amounts toward his retirement and is so far behind his age bracket in the savings category that I really feel sorry for him. Some friends of ours in TWI are in their mid to late 50's and they have practically nothing saved for retirement - like maybe $10,000. They're starting to have health problems and the husband's job is physically demanding. I don't know how they're going to continue to live at even the modest lifestyle they're accustomed to. It's really sad. They've given up so much for TWI and have absolutely nothing to show for it.
Was his 'spirituality" genuine during all of this. I think not. It was a means to an end. His lifestyle gives abundant evidence of this.
I agree 100%! I think vee pee saw what "profession" he could get the most power, money, control and ego stroking from with the least amount of work and set about making that his business. With Harry helping him they accomplished their goals and then some.
Regarind non-Way beliefs being talked about on here.....I agree that it's a good thing. I learn from everyone on here. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't and sometimes I'm intrigued enough to look into what was mentioned. It's good for innies to read about other beliefs and to learn that there's more out here than just TWI and Anti-TWI thoughts, groups and beliefs. There IS something better out here despite what
I think vee pee saw what "profession" he could get the most power, money, control and ego stroking from with the least amount of work and set about making that his business.
That's it!
IMO, everything ever discussed on GSC is rooted in that statement. (Well in the About the Way section anyway)
I agree with everything except the "least amount of work" part. I don't think he was afraid to work. He was corrupt, but he wasn't lazy.
I think his priority was ego, followed by its expression, power, and money came last. He appreciated wealth, but cash reserves didn't seem to matter as much.
He wasn't "rich" in the ordinary sense. He probably could have made more in another "field."
Correct me if that's wrong. That's the impression I've always had.
i don't know about all this. he seemed to benefit the most. had all his needs met.... at our expense....
okay maybe if it turned out that my youth-and- then-some was for a worthy cause, but it just doesn't "fit" for me now
if there's a god waiting to reward me for being a stupid a s s, i'm all for it
i graduated college after three years, and instead of doing what i had planned, i went in the way corps
i already had enough to overcome from my weird hurtful childhood.... i didn't think this god route would hurt me even more.... but that's how it turned out
in simple terms, i think he sucked
don't see the spirituality of it all now, but i do have interesting dreams
Our spirituality fathers the life that gets lived. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. We may preach.... but what do we live?
VPW may have seen the zenith of “doctrine†of the one body… as he claimed…
But his ministry showed a different outcome on nearly every point he taught. Contradiction was the order for the Way.
Examples:
He taught the spiritual independence of us being free in Christ.
But his organization created a dependence on knowing “the†truth (their truth) to be free. (Effect: Our freedom was conditional upon a “higher†interpretation. Dependence.)
He taught the spiritual truth of being interdependent, as the body of Christ.
But the organization which he fostered created a dependence on “those who watch for your soul†who had the awesome power of dictating to your life.
(Effect: The kingdom of God is no longer within, but has representatives who we must consult. Dependence was the result.)
He taught that all believers have a connection with God and that we had “access to the throne of graceâ€.
But his organization created a dependence on many “mediatorsâ€, (Twig Leader, Branch Leader, Area Leader, Limb Leader, Region Leader, Trunk Leader, Country Leader, …. Finally the Man of God for this Time).
(Effect: You are only free to listen to the God within IF it is sanctioned by many multitude of counselors. Dependence.)
He taught that we were all free from the judgment of men and needed not give an account to any man. Nobody had the right to judge another person.
But the organization that he watered and nurtured required accounts be given to the leadership whom “God†had appointed.
(Effect: Freedom and interdependence were ALWAYS to be subrogated to the “next higher†authority. Dependence.)
Every “spiritual†teaching of VPW, if followed in his organization, led to Dependence. His spirituality (the life which gets lived out by him) was one of a hierarchy of men, which enslaved through a method of promising freedom, but delivering dependence.
His spirituality (the life which gets lived out by him) was one of a hierarchy of men, which enslaved through a method of promising freedom, but delivering dependence.
enslaved is a good word
promise of freedom.... boy was i there....
dependence.... boy was i there....
in my humble opinion to todd and others, you are projecting in some ways.... because you're just not like him... does that make sense ?
I posted right after you did, but did not see your posts befire I hit "post now".
I like your theory.
Kind of like what I posted just after you...
Begs the question, why would we allow ourselves to become dependent when we thought we were on the path to freedom?
Tons of reasons. Many posted on this thread. Interesting that a thread about "VPW's Spirituality" became a discussion about why some of us did what we did and got involved.
But, I think, for many of us - we were looking for spiritual freedom.
After all, it resonated with what was happeneing in many of us at the time when we found TWI.
No issue taken exy!!! we need to 'band' together and keep up the good fight against the bad, ugly, and downright putrid,especially after reading Belles post on TWI leadership changes.
as i continued to read this thread to this moment this memory came to me~~~
I was at a TWI function in Fla circa early 90's in Orlando.
The usual song and dance as it became to me.
Over a hundred in attendance, in a hotel meeting room, chairs in line and front stage matinee.
I noticed a believer of renown, let's say involved in the first WOW's, who sat a few rows ahead of me on the right outside seat to the middle isle.
I wanted to go meet this person, but decided to just wait till after the function.
I began to watch this person for some reason. He seemed to never set his eyes to the stage.
I lost momentum the agenda of the meet and was fascinated by this "celebrity" and his silent actions.
Most of the time he sat crouched toward the isle with his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands, rubbing his thumbs, and his head down. Or he would rub his face , pull his hands through his hair. Not nervous like, but more like deep in the thoughts that surrounded him. But never to the stage with his eyes, only maybe his ears.
I remember his casual attire of short sleeve and collar, jeans and worn tennis shoes.
I looked around to make sure I was not staring and noticed the usual attentiveness to the front stage matinee and continued my observation of this man.
I also was crouched to the isle as he and in thought, like with him, or something like that.
Not staring, but like a silent dance of thought, the whys of why we are here, what am i doing here, what's this all about~~~ type of thing.
Well there was a break.
I hoped to introduce myself to this person. He was having a smoke and engaged conversation with a couple of others and I decided to withhold my introduction. I lit a smoke and engaged conversation with others, but with a thoughtfull awareness toward him just a few yards away. An occasional glance type of thing.
We caught each others eye as he was extinguishing his smoke and he smiled at me. I returned the smile and a nod of great respect. And then the hall was filled with all that din intermezzo returning to the meeting.
We sat in our previous chairs and the same type of silent awareness.
Like all I could see was his long hair of long ago.
I never meet this man except as aforementioned, but felt a great weight of goodness and burden upon his heart.
I wish I would have had a moment with him a quiet mile of verbal conversation.
VP was a member/fellowshipped with a group of preachers from Tulsa. In U.S. Church history, they are know as the "renegade" preachers. All his friends, Star Daily, Glen Clark, etc. were members. Remember it was in Tulsa he learned to SIT. He looked up to these men.
After WWII, when the nation started to become very prosperous, these men met and all decided, they could all make much more $$$ if they started their own ministries - which is what they all did, they left their churches and started their own ministries - why? for money.
So, I feel, VP went on a quest for a product to sell. He wanted his own ministry, wanted to be his own boss. Didn't you ever find it strange, he talked about reading the Word by himself for years and "working it," then he takes B.G. Leonard's class, and within just a few months, PFAL magically appears.
He found his product and gave it a new name and passed it off as the results of his years of research. Now he has a product to sell. He starts selling. But he still has that little sex problem, whether its people in his congregation or some of the people who were involved with him in the early years of TWI (yes, one of his co-workers who had been around for years).
He heads out to CA in the '60s because he hears there are some Christian groups practicing "free love" and wants to somehow, make sure its ok and get scripture to back it up.
I think he was truly surprised how the class took off and the ministry grew.
It attracted young, rebel, hippie, free love kids, it offered a respite from the crazy times.
But, it was all about him, and the money it made for him.
I never thought he was a particularly spiritual man. I think the love thing, from the early '70s was what attracted so many of us, and kept us going trying to recapture it or keep it alive.
I think he was a con, an angel of light masquerading as a man of god.
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waterbuffalo
Actually, I think he was an abusive alcoholic. He, in my opinion, was literally sick (no rock throwing intended, just trying to understand him in a kinder way).
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satori001
I didn't "lose" my youth either. The energy we have at that age can build the foundation for a life's work. It's nothing to work 80 - 120 hours a week if you have to. Now, an 80-hour week is not so easy. I can't complain, but I have friends who are now executive VP's, esteemed doctors, the owners of growing businesses... I'm still living by my wits while many contemporaries (and "equals" I think) are living off their equity.
If it hadn't been Wierwille, perhaps it would have been someone else. I don't know. The appeal of TWI was its unique ("Christian") credibility. I gave them the benefit of the doubt on that account. Regrettably.
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laleo
You're right, a price was paid, definitely in income, and status, and in other areas, too, depending on people's experience.
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Allan
Thanks Too Gray Now, you're right, Ex-Cathy as well.I wasn't aiming it at anyone, but maybe some of the ex-exers really need to post their 'beliefs' in the 'beliefs section'.
Satoori,whatever works you have done will be added up one day, this life is way too short to get hung up on it.
I am one of these ones with business diplomas etc..( 5 years, 8 papers ) but I choose to keep 'peddling' the Bible.My brother-in-laws who all own their own businesses think I'm nuts but what the hay !!
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Bramble
My husband certainly sidetracked his career in order to 'do the Word'. He had several great job promotions that would have taken us to cities with out fellowships. In the nineties there were only about 4 cities in the state we lived in that had active fellowships, so he turned them down. Had to stay where the Word is hot and all that.
He does have an opportunity coming up, which means a big move, and we're glad about that.
It is odd visiting my many cousins, most of them are near my husband and I in age, and seeing the houses they now have, the types of jobs they have, how little they've moved around etc--we're still in a 'starter' home, and glad to even have that!
As far as the idea that we need to hush up about non way like beliefs, I say if an innie would rather stay in, and live with abuse, than go out into the big wide world with Trinitarians and Hindus etc, then they have bigger issues than can be fixed on an internet forum.
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WeWereScammed
satori,
Beautifully stated! I've often had those same thoughts.
I think the deal with Wierwille is that he was one of those people that just was never going to work for someone else. Add to that his obvious desire to be esteemed. Didn't matter if he was the MOG for the whole world or CEO of some company...he wasn't going to take orders from anyone else. He had to be the big cheese. I believe he saw "ministry" as a way to achieve both goals. In his youth, the ministers were most likely held in great esteem, you know in that "German work ethic" culture of his. By going into the ministry he would be more educated than the local farming folks he grew up with, he could avoid the hard life than farming requires, he could avoid military service ( so he could "work the Word" [snort, chuckle], and he would have the esteem of his local community. Once he began working for a denomination, it was only a matter of time before he broke away to form his own group. Of course, God would have to supernaturally intervene and give him a personal invitation, or so he wanted us to believe.
Was his 'spirituality" genuine during all of this. I think not. It was a means to an end. His lifestyle gives abundant evidence of this.
I don't know if he ever envisioned a day where there would be 15,000 GEA's [glassy eyed adherents] sitting under a big tent on his ancestral farm land. Most likely his aim was just to get a local following,(maybe more than local), deliver his shrink wrapped, plagerized Bible classes, and collect the cash. Big fish, small pond. But he would be giving the orders. Somehow in the process, which includes the culture of the mid to late sixties and early seventies, he was able to capitalize on a bunch of gullible young people. Thus, what we know as TWI. When those braless hippie girls started showing up on a farm in Ohio, he became intoxicated with himself. The SCAM had taken root.
"Losing our youth" is a term that I have heard on GSC several times over the past couple of years. I too have felt that I lost, or at least, wasted much of my youth due to TWI.
Today, however, I don't blame Wierscam or TWI for ruining my youth. I take responisbility for that. I do blame them for not being what they said they were. I take responsibility for my decisions, but I did not live in a vaccuum.
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WordWolf
"Superconductor," by RUSH.
===========
"Packaged like a rebel or a hero, target mass appeal
To make an audience feel he really means it.
Package the illusion of persona careful to conceal
The fact that she's only too real she's got to screen it.
Hit you in a soft place, a melody so sweet
A strong and simple beat that you can dance to.
Watch his every move- Superconductor.
Orchestrate illusions- Superconductor.
Watch his every move-Superconductor.
Hoping you'll believe, designing to deceive-
That's entertainment.
He can put a target on the market, bask in your applause.
Reality withdraws-now he believes it.
The role becomes the actor, she's addicted to applause,
The stage a world because she never leaves it.
Hit you in a soft place with sentimental ease
They know the fantasies that you romance to.
Watch her every move-Superconductor.
She can manipulate reactions-Superconductor.
Watch her every move-Superconductor.
Pin the donkeys on her tail
Fantasy for sale- that's entertainment!"
==================
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Belle
My ex did the same thing. He gave up a primo position with an awesome department doing what he absoluteley LOVED to do in order to go WOW and then into the WC. Got kicked out of the WC shortly before graduation for some totally absurd idiotic and false reasons. They so destroyed his self-esteem that he didn't even get back "on track" so to speak until after we had been married for two or three years. During that time I completely supported us and gladly at that since he was going to be getting back into the line of work that he liked and it would be a steady paycheck and a much better paycheck than what he had been getting.
He was a totally different man after finishing his re-certification courses and getting back into law enforcement. He still only has a few years of saving piddly amounts toward his retirement and is so far behind his age bracket in the savings category that I really feel sorry for him. Some friends of ours in TWI are in their mid to late 50's and they have practically nothing saved for retirement - like maybe $10,000. They're starting to have health problems and the husband's job is physically demanding. I don't know how they're going to continue to live at even the modest lifestyle they're accustomed to. It's really sad. They've given up so much for TWI and have absolutely nothing to show for it.
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Belle
WeWereScammed:
I agree 100%! I think vee pee saw what "profession" he could get the most power, money, control and ego stroking from with the least amount of work and set about making that his business. With Harry helping him they accomplished their goals and then some.
Regarind non-Way beliefs being talked about on here.....I agree that it's a good thing. I learn from everyone on here. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I don't and sometimes I'm intrigued enough to look into what was mentioned. It's good for innies to read about other beliefs and to learn that there's more out here than just TWI and Anti-TWI thoughts, groups and beliefs. There IS something better out here despite what
TWI keeps saying.
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WeWereScammed
That's it!
IMO, everything ever discussed on GSC is rooted in that statement. (Well in the About the Way section anyway)
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satori001
I agree with everything except the "least amount of work" part. I don't think he was afraid to work. He was corrupt, but he wasn't lazy.
I think his priority was ego, followed by its expression, power, and money came last. He appreciated wealth, but cash reserves didn't seem to matter as much.
He wasn't "rich" in the ordinary sense. He probably could have made more in another "field."
Correct me if that's wrong. That's the impression I've always had.
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excathedra
hmmmmmm thinking thinking
i don't know about all this. he seemed to benefit the most. had all his needs met.... at our expense....
okay maybe if it turned out that my youth-and- then-some was for a worthy cause, but it just doesn't "fit" for me now
if there's a god waiting to reward me for being a stupid a s s, i'm all for it
i graduated college after three years, and instead of doing what i had planned, i went in the way corps
i already had enough to overcome from my weird hurtful childhood.... i didn't think this god route would hurt me even more.... but that's how it turned out
in simple terms, i think he sucked
don't see the spirituality of it all now, but i do have interesting dreams
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excathedra
my theory.... don't try to make someone out to be better than they are/were....
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Too Gray Now
Our spirituality fathers the life that gets lived. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. We may preach.... but what do we live?
VPW may have seen the zenith of “doctrine†of the one body… as he claimed…
But his ministry showed a different outcome on nearly every point he taught. Contradiction was the order for the Way.
Examples:
He taught the spiritual independence of us being free in Christ.
But his organization created a dependence on knowing “the†truth (their truth) to be free. (Effect: Our freedom was conditional upon a “higher†interpretation. Dependence.)
He taught the spiritual truth of being interdependent, as the body of Christ.
But the organization which he fostered created a dependence on “those who watch for your soul†who had the awesome power of dictating to your life.
(Effect: The kingdom of God is no longer within, but has representatives who we must consult. Dependence was the result.)
He taught that all believers have a connection with God and that we had “access to the throne of graceâ€.
But his organization created a dependence on many “mediatorsâ€, (Twig Leader, Branch Leader, Area Leader, Limb Leader, Region Leader, Trunk Leader, Country Leader, …. Finally the Man of God for this Time).
(Effect: You are only free to listen to the God within IF it is sanctioned by many multitude of counselors. Dependence.)
He taught that we were all free from the judgment of men and needed not give an account to any man. Nobody had the right to judge another person.
But the organization that he watered and nurtured required accounts be given to the leadership whom “God†had appointed.
(Effect: Freedom and interdependence were ALWAYS to be subrogated to the “next higher†authority. Dependence.)
Every “spiritual†teaching of VPW, if followed in his organization, led to Dependence. His spirituality (the life which gets lived out by him) was one of a hierarchy of men, which enslaved through a method of promising freedom, but delivering dependence.
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excathedra
promise of freedom.... boy was i there....
dependence.... boy was i there....
in my humble opinion to todd and others, you are projecting in some ways.... because you're just not like him... does that make sense ?
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Too Gray Now
Ex... ALWAYS nice to see ya
;)-->
I posted right after you did, but did not see your posts befire I hit "post now".
I like your theory.
Kind of like what I posted just after you...
Begs the question, why would we allow ourselves to become dependent when we thought we were on the path to freedom?
Tons of reasons. Many posted on this thread. Interesting that a thread about "VPW's Spirituality" became a discussion about why some of us did what we did and got involved.
But, I think, for many of us - we were looking for spiritual freedom.
After all, it resonated with what was happeneing in many of us at the time when we found TWI.
thank GOD I am not 19 anymore.
:D-->
I'd probaly do it again, if I were...
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Too Gray Now
Dangit!!!
I did it again!!!
Posted after you without a re-fresh!
Yup. I project - no DOUBT about that! Wish I didn't, some times, but I know I do.
You are kind to remind me and give me an out for the assumptive (is that a word??) stuff I say.
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excathedra
i agree
and always nice to see you too
i do not believe his "spirituality" would appeal to me now
nor do i think he could do to me now what he did then
man, i would punch him in the nose
:)-->
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excathedra
wasn't referring to you, grey one
:)-->
i'm thinking that we try to fit him into our minds like our mind were then
that's all
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excathedra
dear allan, i take no issue with you, peace
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Allan
No issue taken exy!!! we need to 'band' together and keep up the good fight against the bad, ugly, and downright putrid,especially after reading Belles post on TWI leadership changes.
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excathedra
haven't read that one yet allan
:)-->
--
dear sis ex, i keep meaning to ask you, did you / your family have money ? or offer prestige to the way ?
i only ask because sometimes i saw a kinder face on the mog in those instances
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TheSongRemainsTheSame
as i continued to read this thread to this moment this memory came to me~~~
I was at a TWI function in Fla circa early 90's in Orlando.
The usual song and dance as it became to me.
Over a hundred in attendance, in a hotel meeting room, chairs in line and front stage matinee.
I noticed a believer of renown, let's say involved in the first WOW's, who sat a few rows ahead of me on the right outside seat to the middle isle.
I wanted to go meet this person, but decided to just wait till after the function.
I began to watch this person for some reason. He seemed to never set his eyes to the stage.
I lost momentum the agenda of the meet and was fascinated by this "celebrity" and his silent actions.
Most of the time he sat crouched toward the isle with his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands, rubbing his thumbs, and his head down. Or he would rub his face , pull his hands through his hair. Not nervous like, but more like deep in the thoughts that surrounded him. But never to the stage with his eyes, only maybe his ears.
I remember his casual attire of short sleeve and collar, jeans and worn tennis shoes.
I looked around to make sure I was not staring and noticed the usual attentiveness to the front stage matinee and continued my observation of this man.
I also was crouched to the isle as he and in thought, like with him, or something like that.
Not staring, but like a silent dance of thought, the whys of why we are here, what am i doing here, what's this all about~~~ type of thing.
Well there was a break.
I hoped to introduce myself to this person. He was having a smoke and engaged conversation with a couple of others and I decided to withhold my introduction. I lit a smoke and engaged conversation with others, but with a thoughtfull awareness toward him just a few yards away. An occasional glance type of thing.
We caught each others eye as he was extinguishing his smoke and he smiled at me. I returned the smile and a nod of great respect. And then the hall was filled with all that din intermezzo returning to the meeting.
We sat in our previous chairs and the same type of silent awareness.
Like all I could see was his long hair of long ago.
I never meet this man except as aforementioned, but felt a great weight of goodness and burden upon his heart.
I wish I would have had a moment with him a quiet mile of verbal conversation.
Edited by oneyedjackswild1 psLink to comment
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Sunesis
I believe everything VP did was for money.
VP was a member/fellowshipped with a group of preachers from Tulsa. In U.S. Church history, they are know as the "renegade" preachers. All his friends, Star Daily, Glen Clark, etc. were members. Remember it was in Tulsa he learned to SIT. He looked up to these men.
After WWII, when the nation started to become very prosperous, these men met and all decided, they could all make much more $$$ if they started their own ministries - which is what they all did, they left their churches and started their own ministries - why? for money.
So, I feel, VP went on a quest for a product to sell. He wanted his own ministry, wanted to be his own boss. Didn't you ever find it strange, he talked about reading the Word by himself for years and "working it," then he takes B.G. Leonard's class, and within just a few months, PFAL magically appears.
He found his product and gave it a new name and passed it off as the results of his years of research. Now he has a product to sell. He starts selling. But he still has that little sex problem, whether its people in his congregation or some of the people who were involved with him in the early years of TWI (yes, one of his co-workers who had been around for years).
He heads out to CA in the '60s because he hears there are some Christian groups practicing "free love" and wants to somehow, make sure its ok and get scripture to back it up.
I think he was truly surprised how the class took off and the ministry grew.
It attracted young, rebel, hippie, free love kids, it offered a respite from the crazy times.
But, it was all about him, and the money it made for him.
I never thought he was a particularly spiritual man. I think the love thing, from the early '70s was what attracted so many of us, and kept us going trying to recapture it or keep it alive.
I think he was a con, an angel of light masquerading as a man of god.
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