Death is usually dealt with by living family members at whose discretion any info can be revealed or withheld and rightly so.
There is the answer, IMO.
Public or private, the surviving members of the decedant should have the right to divulge whatever, if any information, they choose.
In the event of a public person, the family usually will give some form of cause of death, as they understand the public needs to know.
But it's still at their discretion.
I don't think it's innapropriate to want to know, no. Whether it be a public or private person, it's the 'how' of asking that makes the rest of us squirm.
Society tells us from early on that we are not supposed to ask such personal information. Done in a polite way and with concern for the survivors, it can be done ok. And in fact, the survivors want and need to talk about their loved one that has died.
"I'm putting forth this question because when VP and others died, we weren't told the cause of death and were made to feel that it is somehow not proper to be curious about how someone died."
Good question.
"1) Federal law requires a death certificate for any recorded death and every death certificate contains the cause of death. As far as I know, anyone can access any death certificate if they know the date, city, state, and name of the deceased."
The CDC [a federal branch says: "State laws require that only death certificates are filed for all deaths and that violent deaths (including homicides, suicides and deaths of undetermined intent) are reviewed by a coroner or medical examiner. States that are funded for NVDRS operate under a cooperative agreement with CDC to which all violent deaths will be voluntarily reported."
They say that this information only becomes public "... after it has been stripped of all potentially identifying details including names, addresses, dates of birth" etc.
I did a search of Firstgov and could not find a law that federally mandates a death certificate.
:-)
"2) A casual glance at an obituaries section on any given day will show that some people don't even give the age of the deceased, much less the cause of death. Death is usually dealt with by living family members at whose discretion any info can be revealed or withheld and rightly so."
True.
When my sister died 1 year and a half ago, we learned at the funeral that she had suffered numerous heart attacks and had the time to write her own funeral service. She had over a year [between her first hospitalization and her final demise] to plan it and arrange for everything she wanted. But after all that nooe of her syblings knew anything was wrong. She had three brothers within an hour's drive, the family got together four times a year for a big supper, and they were usually very gossipy. But when it came to her failing health and her planned death, nobody knew anything about it.
Some people do keep these things held close to their chest.
"Given all that, I think there's a difference between the death of a private citizen and a public figure, but even for a private citizen, the family sure knows how the person died, so if the person is a public figure with any size following, so should his or her followers be informed about such things."
Only if the members of that organization 'vote' on policy and have over-sight.
I don't believe that's it's inappropriate to WANT to know how someone died, but the real issue is, how does one appropriately approach the subject without bringing more hurt to the family or seeming down right rude?
"Uh, excuse me, please, could you tell me how George kicked the bucket becuase it wasn't in his obit?"
I've learned to give the apology first, a way out of the answer to the person you're asking the question to, and finally, the question. "I'm so sorry for your loss - George's passing away happened so quickly. If it's too painful for you to talk about I will certainly understand, but may I ask what happened?"
If you think that your asking will cause more pain, then it's NEVER worth asking the cause of death. I don't think the laws for knowing about a cause of death should be any different for public figures than it is for the general public. You'll automatically create a caste system if you start with that thinking!
When my sister died 1 year and a half ago, we learned at the funeral that she had suffered numerous heart attacks and had the time to write her own funeral service. She had over a year [between her first hospitalization and her final demise] to plan it and arrange for everything she wanted. But after all that nooe of her syblings knew anything was wrong. She had three brothers within an hour's drive, the family got together four times a year for a big supper, and they were usually very gossipy. But when it came to her failing health and her planned death, nobody knew anything about it.
I admire her for this. She didn't want sympathy, or to have special treatment. She wanted to live her life and let those around her do the same. She wasn't selfish or needy. It sounds to me like she wanted her dignity up to her last day - perfect! I bet she was a very strong woman and is sorely missed by her family.
I don't think the laws for knowing about a cause of death should be any different for public figures than it is for the general public. You'll automatically create a caste system if you start with that thinking!
Interesting choice of words. What got me going on this is the recent death of a spinoff leader. We all got a letter but it didn't give a cause. The guy was 55 or so; not that old. Quite a shock.
Few months ago someone who was a follower of this group died in a car crash. Someone said to me that "he had to be screwed up and out of fellowship for this to happen to him". Somehow, I don't think they're saying that about the leader even though both men were about the same age. Hmm.
Galen: Thanks for the info, although if say my dad died and one of my older siblings called and said "it was a medical condition and that's all YOU need to know" I would not be happy with said older sibling.
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Shellon
There is the answer, IMO.
Public or private, the surviving members of the decedant should have the right to divulge whatever, if any information, they choose.
In the event of a public person, the family usually will give some form of cause of death, as they understand the public needs to know.
But it's still at their discretion.
I don't think it's innapropriate to want to know, no. Whether it be a public or private person, it's the 'how' of asking that makes the rest of us squirm.
Society tells us from early on that we are not supposed to ask such personal information. Done in a polite way and with concern for the survivors, it can be done ok. And in fact, the survivors want and need to talk about their loved one that has died.
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Galen
johniam:
"I'm putting forth this question because when VP and others died, we weren't told the cause of death and were made to feel that it is somehow not proper to be curious about how someone died."
Good question.
"1) Federal law requires a death certificate for any recorded death and every death certificate contains the cause of death. As far as I know, anyone can access any death certificate if they know the date, city, state, and name of the deceased."
The CDC [a federal branch says: "State laws require that only death certificates are filed for all deaths and that violent deaths (including homicides, suicides and deaths of undetermined intent) are reviewed by a coroner or medical examiner. States that are funded for NVDRS operate under a cooperative agreement with CDC to which all violent deaths will be voluntarily reported."
They say that this information only becomes public "... after it has been stripped of all potentially identifying details including names, addresses, dates of birth" etc.
I did a search of Firstgov and could not find a law that federally mandates a death certificate.
:-)
"2) A casual glance at an obituaries section on any given day will show that some people don't even give the age of the deceased, much less the cause of death. Death is usually dealt with by living family members at whose discretion any info can be revealed or withheld and rightly so."
True.
When my sister died 1 year and a half ago, we learned at the funeral that she had suffered numerous heart attacks and had the time to write her own funeral service. She had over a year [between her first hospitalization and her final demise] to plan it and arrange for everything she wanted. But after all that nooe of her syblings knew anything was wrong. She had three brothers within an hour's drive, the family got together four times a year for a big supper, and they were usually very gossipy. But when it came to her failing health and her planned death, nobody knew anything about it.
Some people do keep these things held close to their chest.
"Given all that, I think there's a difference between the death of a private citizen and a public figure, but even for a private citizen, the family sure knows how the person died, so if the person is a public figure with any size following, so should his or her followers be informed about such things."
Only if the members of that organization 'vote' on policy and have over-sight.
:-)
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ChasUFarley
I don't believe that's it's inappropriate to WANT to know how someone died, but the real issue is, how does one appropriately approach the subject without bringing more hurt to the family or seeming down right rude?
"Uh, excuse me, please, could you tell me how George kicked the bucket becuase it wasn't in his obit?"
I've learned to give the apology first, a way out of the answer to the person you're asking the question to, and finally, the question. "I'm so sorry for your loss - George's passing away happened so quickly. If it's too painful for you to talk about I will certainly understand, but may I ask what happened?"
If you think that your asking will cause more pain, then it's NEVER worth asking the cause of death. I don't think the laws for knowing about a cause of death should be any different for public figures than it is for the general public. You'll automatically create a caste system if you start with that thinking!
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ChasUFarley
I admire her for this. She didn't want sympathy, or to have special treatment. She wanted to live her life and let those around her do the same. She wasn't selfish or needy. It sounds to me like she wanted her dignity up to her last day - perfect! I bet she was a very strong woman and is sorely missed by her family.
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johniam
Interesting choice of words. What got me going on this is the recent death of a spinoff leader. We all got a letter but it didn't give a cause. The guy was 55 or so; not that old. Quite a shock.
Few months ago someone who was a follower of this group died in a car crash. Someone said to me that "he had to be screwed up and out of fellowship for this to happen to him". Somehow, I don't think they're saying that about the leader even though both men were about the same age. Hmm.
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johniam
Galen: Thanks for the info, although if say my dad died and one of my older siblings called and said "it was a medical condition and that's all YOU need to know" I would not be happy with said older sibling.
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satori001
I will insist on knowing how I died.
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