All Those Wasted Years

[signals]

I've written these experiences before under the same title as above. Unlike some, my tenure in TWI spanned 5 or 6 years at the most. Compared to some this is but a trinkle, but it was devastating nontheless! What would actually save me was the Jonestown experience. I knew in my mind that TWI was just as deadly even though they tried to hide it.

I was always told that I go to extremes in situations. In TWI's case it was taking more than I could chew in the first months of my enrollment, thus burning out rather quickly. From April until November, I had done what few do, but took on too many responsibilities trying to do what's right. This made everything go wrong. Come with me now in the bowels of my personal hell, where I may return to add, clarify and answer questions. I may cut through some meaningless events or events I've erased from my memory, but let's start my rambling...

I was witnessed at my local college in April of 1977. By June I had graduated PFAL at a cost of $100...then it doubled for the next class. I was a college student but found that I will still ABS what I could. I thought it was a miracle to take PFAL at their price.

Out of about 15 people at the start 10 of us graduated. Of the others 3 left completely and 2 continued to fellowship but had a hangup over guess what?...the SIT instruction! Anyway I started to get a sense of 'fakeness' from those who were once our sponsors and such. At this class I became close with another classmate. I mean we became good friends and hung out. He had just transferred with his job from another State. He was a boss type, and would eventually give me a job.

This person was witnessed in that other state but arrangements were made for him to still take the class. The WOW that witnessed to him and made the class happen for him would eventually become his wife. This is a book in itself, but let's move on...

I remember a bunch of us going to THE MUST GO TO ROA. If you ask me how I came up with the money and how I managed to stretch it over the whole time is a great mystery to me. Anyway, I learned that the morons I was travelling with didn't know about routing on a map. We went from I-90 in Cleveland and I remember going throgh Columbus and Cincinnati. We basically made the letter 'U' which meant we went over 100 miles out of our way. No one slept and we finally arrive at the Kornfield in Knoxville. Set up the tents, and in our zombie states went on our tour. Which led to the opening ceremonies with airforce one, or whatever Werewolf called it, dives bomb over the Rock. Real impressive for a prop job! Still the sleep was in my eyes, but we got enough God Blesses to last for 10 years of sneezing!

In hind sight, I have to ask Why I would listen to these endless sermons on a hot and humid night when I would buy the tape, anyway! Remember my friend and that WOW ambasador? Well they flew in, rented a car, and later went to their AC hotel room on a comfortable bed. I shared a tent with a psycho that wouldn't stop screaming if a fly was in the tent...did you guys happen to hear us, because there were always flies in the tent!

It was a good time overall, even though I was constipated for the whole time, because there was no way I could use those portapotties from hell! Having confessed that, I wonder if what I did next was a calling from God, or Satan's practical joke!? I signed up to become a WOW ambassador! After 5 months I was full of the lord or somnething!

My smart move was that I only signed up because I could stay local. The following year a fatah was issued No More Local WOWs. Gee I wonder why? From August to November is a little over three months. But as a whole this WOW outfit was doomed to fail. Their were 16 of us that were destined to take on my sinful city. Funny thing 2 others were local, too. One was immediately taken away from her family, and never return. The other left in a month and never returned. I lasted awhile longer, but continued to stay in the ministry. I had the worst of the families. Somehow our house leader had a hard time getting everyone to obey orders and do what they had to, but he took a particular hatred to me and was determined to make my life miserable.

We also had a Corps family and it was the first time the corps sent people to the area was the word from old-timers. The whatever she was between the WC and the house leaders, she was a real bitch. Maybe she was Corps, too, but my mind draws a blank. There were some good times, but most things from my fellow WOWs were cruel, mean and inconsideratre. Maybe they had this jealousy issue that you were near things dear to you, and they were miles away. You had a job and they had to find one. And it goes on and on.

Without going into the million and one details, I finally made the decision that WOW was a mistake and I needed to get out. I was going to go to our regional leader during his visit to tell him WOW isn't for me, but I wanted to continue in the ministry. A household brother caught us all by surprise, and had run off the very day. He left a letter and never looked back. His devils weren't as obvious as mine. As the regional leader told just our household about the guilt and the plight in his letter, I was still determined to get out and through the shock got the private session. I spoke my peace and wasn't going to listen to the fact of how detrimental my leaving would be. Can't remember exact pleasantries, but the regional leader although he didn't believe I would stick to with the ministry knew I was going to do what I must. I think he perceived it as a kick while they were down, but I actually surprised them. I continued in the ministry and actually did more than a WOW. Soon other families began to crumble. Out of 16 only 8 or 9 made it to the next Rock. 1977 was my first and last.

Remember my friend who ended up marrying thatWOW ambassador? You would think that they would get married after her WOW year, but she ended up enrolling at The Way College in Emporia...and why not she was...ca-ching...rich! Therefore my theory of 'TWI inner circle!' My friend would eventually deprogram this pile of money and remove her completely.

To those still blind:This girl was devoted to TWI to the point she wanted to go to the WC and perhaps even ministry. Her family was loaded with mansions and land in California, Colorado and New York. Her family had jobs in DC and hobknobed with powerful politicians. Still don't see it? When he took her away from TWI he took away A MAJOR MONETARY SOURCE from TWI. And if you think it didn't effect them, well, sure whatever!

I think my friend married in '79 because it was after the three mile island accident. But in '78 we were very much in a state of shock with the jonestown massacre. That incident would have a big affect on mine and others lives, as we begin to question the true intentions of TWI. If you're a cult it is sometimes better to admit it than put up a senseless smokescreen and talk nonsense. We were told never to question the, ahem, Man Of God, and then tell us we don't have to drink werewolf's kool aid. A double-standard began to be sensed. A garbage man may be a trash engineer but he still stinks. A sect a cult, tomato tom-a-toe!

And thus began the 'My Interpretation Is Your Guide!' Someone once said that ABS isn't only money, but the time you give to help follow believers. Of course, when you don't open that wallet after awhile some sermon comes up like 'say it with money!' We began to see TWI for the joke it was, but also knew that it was a powerful cult(Money=Power) that could literally destroy those who questioned it. Another friend not in TWI would keep us looking at things in reality so we wouldn't be blinded by the PRopaganda and double standards.

During these times we had the deprogrammers kidnapping cult members and trying to bring them to a certain reality. Most know the stories how some got away, or were rescued by the Martindale Brigades for Allah! Truth was these weren't rescued or welcommed back because of their belief in God. Reality 101: Deprogrammers charged $1000 or more a day. The people being deprogrammed had $$$$$$! Get it! Had it been me, TWI would have wanted only what was currently in my wallet! So much like the current suicide bombers the kidnapped became TWI's heros. And the PR machine ate it up.

I lost touch with everybody and anybody of those days. Don't know what happened to my old friend or if he's still married. Timelines and dates may confuse me a bit, because most of my WAYsted years are a blur as I purosely try to bury them into non-existance. This was just up until '79. Still I feel I'm missing something until this point. Still a new Corps leader arrived. He brought his friends...non corps just in TWI. They desided to weed, seed, use and humiliate. That was truly the beginning of the end...

Might Be Continued

[rascal]

I hope so :-)

You were departing just as I was getting involved in 79.

[Belle]

Welcome signals!

Thank you for sharing your story. It was so easy to get all gung ho and keep plugging along and getting more and more involved despite those warning lights flashing in our brains, wasn't it?

[dmiller]

Signals -- you saw through it all faster than I did. I was *in* (as in *a member* - and NOT rich!) in '75 -- but didn't leave till 86, or 87. Your perception supercedes mine! :D-->

[GeorgeStGeorge]

My mom once told me that she would have had me deprogrammed if it didn't cost so much! -->

George

[signals]

Conclusion and notes to self...

Through the self-analysis I have conducted I have recalled that my tenure with the way was from around the end of March of 77 until somewhere between November 79-February 80. This is based on what in Way jargon would be considered as me being possessed. I have to thank God and Jesus for allowing me to escape when I did, and having had friends who were more in touch with reality than myself.

I've also accepted that Jesus Christ IS God. Weirwill had a great way of bastardizing the first five verses of John 1. The Gospel of John is witness to Jesus' deity, or divinity, and to deny it is a one way ticket to hell regardless what a cult believes.

Having now written 165 posts at this site in a month, I conclude that it was a waste of valueable time. But summer's here and I have a life. Thus ends this Maple St. experiment.

Many who claim to have a life and are addicted to the Internet as a whole, are lying. There is such a thing as internet addiction. I am glad I can just stay away from the net for days or weeks. Somehow some on the internet think that they can hurt me or my feelings. Words on a screen from an anonymous can't offend anyone with one hair of intelligence. bBut fire away, I am called a bastard in real life, so who can offend me? But go ahead and feel good. YOU WERE IN A CULT FOR GOD'S SAKE!

I no longer blame or hold bitterness toward TWI, because it was my own doing that got me involved. I don't blame the one who witnessed to me, or all the other losers I have known over the years. I fell prey like anyone else.

My downfall was not remembering things in detail and continuing to believe that Jesus is not God crap. With these deprogrammings removed I am free to pursue my abundant life as it was meant to be. Misery loves company and some are still bound to the Way, they just don't know it. Why else won't they just let it go? I left with my friends and had no friends left in the Way, therefore my ties were severed. There was no love lost with anyone associated with TWI.

Someone told me that exway followers continue in their spiralling rut, and I found that to be true. Most own a computer only to live on this site. C'mon, I like Rush and have gone to their message boards for years and the most posts I have is like 200. Today being an exact month, I'm done...hurray!

Take it from an ex and forget all that psychobabble crap, if I were to pick one deadly sin that was prevelant among way followers it would be Envy. Envy comes with Jealosy and Resentment. I first learned this in going WOW local but it was so obvious. People were jealous because I didn't give up my school, job, or sever my ties with family completely. So the green eyed monster among my bretheren became clear. Oh well, maybe I wasn't as dumb as some to leave everything and go where a false god needs you hoping you can recruit some sheep. Sorry, homey don't play dat.

Then if I would be talking to a friend of the opposite sex, my WOW brothers would begin speaking of God just to drive her away and create a wedge. If you went to a family party, somehow these other WOW idiots felt they had to come along too. Funny how they didn't like it when you did it to them, but who cares. I can take it. I can also dish it out. Sometimes it's just best to ignore, especially when you are forced to match wits with a simpleton.

The Way was a learning experience. So I wasted a few years, I bet the ones who wasted decades sure feel Envy, but who'll admit it? Not the all honest godblessing way believers...I hope you find yourselves instead of continuing to flock together. I was finding myself being reeled into that rut again, but no way!

Again this is about me, but knowing the way, people are going to analyse, pick and choose quotes, read into things like I'm talking to them in particular, misquoting the overall idea, not understanding what a Maple St. experiment is, etc. But to each there own. If I've offended anybody, get some skin. And to those who feel they have to take a jab, go for it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but names from mindless cultists will never hurt me! nya nya nya nya nya!

[coolchef1248 @adelphia.net]

singles get some help ypu need it

[GeorgeStGeorge]

Thanks for playing our game, Signals. don't forget your parting gifts on the way out. -->

George

[hiway29]

Ive never heard anyone say so much while telling us he's finished talking.

[Dan Carlson]

Hey signals! I got back to real worship of God in three persons as well, question is-why are you so bent? God is in heaven and he has a wonderful plan for our lives...The wrong way, other way, my way or high way, any other way would still be the wrong way-was there, in God's working all things together for the good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose. I would have to agree that it profits little to spend months on end, venting your spleen on other happles stooges of wierwolf's pandering, meandering, philandering agenda, but shedding the light that you have could do a lot of good for someone that only your unique perspective, and command of critical thinking-would reach!! Keep the faith Brotha.........

Completely thrown to the devices of the adversary-Jesus Christ!

[vickles]

I wouldn't look at my life in twi as completely wasted. I know my heart was right even though I was in something not right.

I look at my experiences now after several years in being out and whole bunch older is that I was young and naive and it was a learning experience even though a rather bad one.

I am not so much a know it all or have to save the world and I'm happy. Thats what life is all about.

[dmiller]

quote:

I have to thank God and Jesus for allowing me to escape when I did, and having had friends who were more in touch with reality than myself.

I've also accepted that Jesus Christ IS God.

Umm-hmm. Right. OK. Whatever.

Without trying to relegate this to the *Doctrinal* forum, how can you thank BOTH Jesus and God -- if they are one and the same?

Docvic may have skewed some stuff to his own advantage, but the folks he plagiarized from had it pretty much right.

David