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The Sea

Ron G.

By Ron G.,
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Ron G.

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A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the comments that were funny.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3. If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

4. I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5. A dolphin breathes through an ******* on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)

6. My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

7. When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

8. I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9. I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10. Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11. My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)

12. When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

13. When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7)

14. A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)

15. When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors. (Valerie age 6)

16. Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

17. On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7 )

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