Sheese what you put down is so true from what I have always heard about rape victims. A lot of people do not react the same way but I really think as far as The Top Leadership of twi it fits them to a "T".
It also made me think in the spiritual way too as people had their minds raped. Make no mistake about it both rapes are terrible, Both in different ways and as far as what I still read from people comming out, the mind rape is still happening. I just look at how people here at GSC are handling the rape of their minds and each one is different. I wonder how the phyical rape victim handles it (both play with the mind)? I bet each one handles it differently too. Something inside of me makes me wonder if the physical rape is still not happening.
Does anyone know if rape support groups have clergy abuse on their "list" (if they have one) that they cover? Do they distinguish between one type of rape or another? I would think that the exact impact of child molestation, for example, might be different from date rape, etc.
The timleine for recovery can be quite lengthy which is something that appears to be news for some even those who have been the recipient/victim of sustained, patterned abuse. First , it takes time and courage for someone to come to terms with being a victim. Its crucial to the reparation process to take an unflinching look at what happened as a form of acknowledgement that yes it did happen. It wasn't a product of anyone's imagination. And while time might have put some distance between some past events and today , the hurt is still there.
Those who don't wish to "deal with it" or engage some self-investigative process *could* be in denial but I think its more common the case that they know its gonna be dragging up lots of (possibly very negative) emotions and it takes tremendous strength to deal with that. At times it can be like lifting the lid on a full trashcan thats been sitting under the Sun in July. Its not gonna be pleasant but how long do you want that trash to sit there. You can't blame someone like this - after all performing a self-inventory can disrupt your life and if you are relatively content then you might wish to avoid it though you know that the "trash" is still sitting there. Its just a question of how long you will let it remain. There are still areas in my life like this ,(not necessarily related to TWI), that I know I have to deal with sooner or later.
The goal isn't to wallow in the pain and remain perpetually injured person. Its to take care of personal business that will 1) help you mend the relationship with yourself and others and 2) insure a layer of insulation against future potential situations that might prove to be abusive. But each must progress in their own time and at their own pace.
Some married couples can tell you about this. One spouse is anxious to move past some problem whereas another needs more time and space to sort it out. Neither is wrong though practicality demands some type of resolution so both can continue to function and fulfll basic responsibilities. Hopefully they can agree to support each other or at the very least respect the process.
My primary concern about all this is that I see folks on GSpot who want to , perhaps unconsciously, dictate to others a schedule of recovery. Maybe one has arrived at the place where a discussion on ,for example, the distribution of ABS back in 1977 represents useless information though for another it might be a breakthrough in their realization that there were financial improprieties taking place. Maybe they were part of it or knew someone who was. It helps people to "connect the dots". If your picture of TWI experience is complete and ready to be put aside for something else then good for you. Thats quite an accomplihsment. But perhaps some haven't finished with theirs yet. Maybe they want to take it at a slower pace or maybe their investment was far greater than another's thus it will take more time.
I'll admit that I don't much care for the theological disucssions over in the doctrinal forum but thats my choice. Those who engage each other over there clearly want to and its important to them to "connect some dots" also so I respect that. I don't go over there and make it seem as if they are obssessed with mind numbing biblical minuate at the expense of reality. I let them be. Who knows maybe even one day I might find a discussion over there I want to get into. But the fact that I don't participate now doesn't negate its value for others.
We aren't all working in the same jigsaw puzzle here , nor did everyone begin at the same time, and others aren't even working on a puzzle ,so its unreasonable to assume that we should all complete it at the same time. Seems to me that we've had some recent posters at Gspot who want others to leave it all behind simply because they have. Thats most unfortunate.
I do not get people who do not get it either so we are even.
I refuse to stay a victim. that is why I get mad at John Lynn who I have a great deal of respect for when it comes to bible education, yet little or no respect when it comes to loving people.
He screams to stop being a victim. hahaha I laugh as I think of the years spent picking up the pieces of the mess twi made of my life. Did I do it did I live my life? Yes but without the truama of what happened to me my life would be vastly different. and that of my children.
or understanding what moving on means. I will ask you how do you move on? HMM? it is a part of my life now and forever well maybe not forever, but till we all get healed it plays into how I think what I do and why in many many areas.
If I wanted to blame myself or another innocent Victim I could just say oh well God is good it doesnt matter.
im blessed and happy now.
Well God is good and Im blessed and happy now But I have that training the pain brought my life .
Everyone has taken on new ideas take knitting or a new excersize program well pain is about learning how to do it right . darn it ya have to take the whole darn sweater apart cause ya messed up the arm , or your muscles ache when you go to a new set of weights at the gym. it is in the training Paul speaks of it , to train takes pain and pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible and it sometimes means serious injury.
ya find out the hard way and it causes deep pain sometimes to never do that again in life.
well I can move beyond it and even grow bigger but Im screaming about the pain that brought me here and I chose not to forget it.
move on as an ignorant person who didnt pay a PRICE FOR THE LESSON is not my style.
let me say to all those who will now rant well Jesus christ paid the price so we do not have to.
I ask and in what life are you living in for real? Jesus christ paid for us to live eternaly , the mess and sin others have and I have inflicted on my self has been bought and paid for by ME! and I aint paying it again if I do not have to. and I will warn others of the payment if I can it can get quite costly in life if we can not and refuse to learn just what the very grace of God means.
mj, No biotching on this end from what I have read about what you said. I know a lot of what you say is true. To be free of it all, how sweet would that be? I know some of me does not want to forget. The part of me that does not want it to die is the part that says " When twi dies and all the people are healed then I can forget"
For sure, as a result of having been abused, I find myself less trusting of others, or more importantly, less trusting of my own intuition about others. I also find I can be more extreme in how my gut reacts under stress. I want to be sure I am surrounding myself with good relationships with supportive people.
That was one of the things that most helped Grace Tower in her recovery and litigation -- she had a network of people who understood that what happned to her was not her fault.
Dear mj,
Good point. I hope that, in the end, I am able to take what has happened to me and turn it into making me a better person. I know that having a chronic illness has made me more understanding of those who are ill or handicapped. Being an ex-cultist has made me more closely examine what I truly believe.
Surviving abuse had made me more determined than ever to contribute to making my little corner of the world a more peaceful place.
*making my own little corner of the world a more peacefull place* really IS what it`s all about isn`t it Shaz?
I have given up trying to figure out who/what is right or wrong anymore....where/what I should be for God.... and have just tried to live by that single simple creed for years now.
Yeppers! Since getting "out" I see more and more how Matthew 22:36-40 really does sum things up. If we're doing those 2 things then everything else falls into place. Not to mention that it's a whole lot simpler than trying to jump through TWIt hoops.
quote:
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And the second [is] like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
I'm still working on loving myself and being patient with my recovery is a good start.
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justloafing
Sheese what you put down is so true from what I have always heard about rape victims. A lot of people do not react the same way but I really think as far as The Top Leadership of twi it fits them to a "T".
It also made me think in the spiritual way too as people had their minds raped. Make no mistake about it both rapes are terrible, Both in different ways and as far as what I still read from people comming out, the mind rape is still happening. I just look at how people here at GSC are handling the rape of their minds and each one is different. I wonder how the phyical rape victim handles it (both play with the mind)? I bet each one handles it differently too. Something inside of me makes me wonder if the physical rape is still not happening.
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ex10
Thanks, shaz.
Just shows to go ya, there ain't no "just getting over it."
smooches, dear.
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JustThinking
Dumb question:
Does anyone know if rape support groups have clergy abuse on their "list" (if they have one) that they cover? Do they distinguish between one type of rape or another? I would think that the exact impact of child molestation, for example, might be different from date rape, etc.
JT
2 years out and oh, so happy!
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Belle
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JT!
:D-->
My 1 year anniversary will be coming up soon!
:D-->
I don't know the answer to your question, but maybe bringing this to the top again will get you an answer from someone in the know.
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diazbro
The timleine for recovery can be quite lengthy which is something that appears to be news for some even those who have been the recipient/victim of sustained, patterned abuse. First , it takes time and courage for someone to come to terms with being a victim. Its crucial to the reparation process to take an unflinching look at what happened as a form of acknowledgement that yes it did happen. It wasn't a product of anyone's imagination. And while time might have put some distance between some past events and today , the hurt is still there.
Those who don't wish to "deal with it" or engage some self-investigative process *could* be in denial but I think its more common the case that they know its gonna be dragging up lots of (possibly very negative) emotions and it takes tremendous strength to deal with that. At times it can be like lifting the lid on a full trashcan thats been sitting under the Sun in July. Its not gonna be pleasant but how long do you want that trash to sit there. You can't blame someone like this - after all performing a self-inventory can disrupt your life and if you are relatively content then you might wish to avoid it though you know that the "trash" is still sitting there. Its just a question of how long you will let it remain. There are still areas in my life like this ,(not necessarily related to TWI), that I know I have to deal with sooner or later.
The goal isn't to wallow in the pain and remain perpetually injured person. Its to take care of personal business that will 1) help you mend the relationship with yourself and others and 2) insure a layer of insulation against future potential situations that might prove to be abusive. But each must progress in their own time and at their own pace.
Some married couples can tell you about this. One spouse is anxious to move past some problem whereas another needs more time and space to sort it out. Neither is wrong though practicality demands some type of resolution so both can continue to function and fulfll basic responsibilities. Hopefully they can agree to support each other or at the very least respect the process.
My primary concern about all this is that I see folks on GSpot who want to , perhaps unconsciously, dictate to others a schedule of recovery. Maybe one has arrived at the place where a discussion on ,for example, the distribution of ABS back in 1977 represents useless information though for another it might be a breakthrough in their realization that there were financial improprieties taking place. Maybe they were part of it or knew someone who was. It helps people to "connect the dots". If your picture of TWI experience is complete and ready to be put aside for something else then good for you. Thats quite an accomplihsment. But perhaps some haven't finished with theirs yet. Maybe they want to take it at a slower pace or maybe their investment was far greater than another's thus it will take more time.
I'll admit that I don't much care for the theological disucssions over in the doctrinal forum but thats my choice. Those who engage each other over there clearly want to and its important to them to "connect some dots" also so I respect that. I don't go over there and make it seem as if they are obssessed with mind numbing biblical minuate at the expense of reality. I let them be. Who knows maybe even one day I might find a discussion over there I want to get into. But the fact that I don't participate now doesn't negate its value for others.
We aren't all working in the same jigsaw puzzle here , nor did everyone begin at the same time, and others aren't even working on a puzzle ,so its unreasonable to assume that we should all complete it at the same time. Seems to me that we've had some recent posters at Gspot who want others to leave it all behind simply because they have. Thats most unfortunate.
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mj412
I can NOT "leave it all behind" .
It is part of who I am . period.
I do not get people who do not get it either so we are even.
I refuse to stay a victim. that is why I get mad at John Lynn who I have a great deal of respect for when it comes to bible education, yet little or no respect when it comes to loving people.
He screams to stop being a victim. hahaha I laugh as I think of the years spent picking up the pieces of the mess twi made of my life. Did I do it did I live my life? Yes but without the truama of what happened to me my life would be vastly different. and that of my children.
or understanding what moving on means. I will ask you how do you move on? HMM? it is a part of my life now and forever well maybe not forever, but till we all get healed it plays into how I think what I do and why in many many areas.
If I wanted to blame myself or another innocent Victim I could just say oh well God is good it doesnt matter.
im blessed and happy now.
Well God is good and Im blessed and happy now But I have that training the pain brought my life .
Everyone has taken on new ideas take knitting or a new excersize program well pain is about learning how to do it right . darn it ya have to take the whole darn sweater apart cause ya messed up the arm , or your muscles ache when you go to a new set of weights at the gym. it is in the training Paul speaks of it , to train takes pain and pushing yourself beyond what you thought possible and it sometimes means serious injury.
ya find out the hard way and it causes deep pain sometimes to never do that again in life.
well I can move beyond it and even grow bigger but Im screaming about the pain that brought me here and I chose not to forget it.
move on as an ignorant person who didnt pay a PRICE FOR THE LESSON is not my style.
let me say to all those who will now rant well Jesus christ paid the price so we do not have to.
I ask and in what life are you living in for real? Jesus christ paid for us to live eternaly , the mess and sin others have and I have inflicted on my self has been bought and paid for by ME! and I aint paying it again if I do not have to. and I will warn others of the payment if I can it can get quite costly in life if we can not and refuse to learn just what the very grace of God means.
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justloafing
mj, No biotching on this end from what I have read about what you said. I know a lot of what you say is true. To be free of it all, how sweet would that be? I know some of me does not want to forget. The part of me that does not want it to die is the part that says " When twi dies and all the people are healed then I can forget"
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shazdancer
Dear diazbro,
For sure, as a result of having been abused, I find myself less trusting of others, or more importantly, less trusting of my own intuition about others. I also find I can be more extreme in how my gut reacts under stress. I want to be sure I am surrounding myself with good relationships with supportive people.
That was one of the things that most helped Grace Tower in her recovery and litigation -- she had a network of people who understood that what happned to her was not her fault.
Dear mj,
Good point. I hope that, in the end, I am able to take what has happened to me and turn it into making me a better person. I know that having a chronic illness has made me more understanding of those who are ill or handicapped. Being an ex-cultist has made me more closely examine what I truly believe.
Surviving abuse had made me more determined than ever to contribute to making my little corner of the world a more peaceful place.
Getting ready to sing "Kumbaya,"
;)-->
Shaz
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rascal
*making my own little corner of the world a more peacefull place* really IS what it`s all about isn`t it Shaz?
I have given up trying to figure out who/what is right or wrong anymore....where/what I should be for God.... and have just tried to live by that single simple creed for years now.
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Belle
Yeppers! Since getting "out" I see more and more how Matthew 22:36-40 really does sum things up. If we're doing those 2 things then everything else falls into place. Not to mention that it's a whole lot simpler than trying to jump through TWIt hoops.
I'm still working on loving myself and being patient with my recovery is a good start.
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