here is one i wanted to crawl into a hole for. when my ex and i first got involved in twi i wanted to check out hq so we packed up the van and our 5 yo son.we took the long trip and were welcomed there.{in those days you were} the next night joyful noise was doing a thing in new brennen? we were asked to take a bunch of corps with us who needed a ride. while waiting at a stop sign with a van full of corps my little boy says loudly " we don't say f..K no more do we daddy?
wanted to fall through the floor. maybe he should have said that to some of the big guns!
When my son was about two, my teenage brother-in-law thought it was really funny to teach him cuss words.
So one day my husband and son and I were riding with a real estate guy to check out a house in another town. Out of the blue, my son starts saying the f word, over and over and over, and laughing. I wanted to die.
I quickly said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry, we didn't bring your fire truck today. Your fire truck is in your toybox at home." Thank God, my son was young enough that it was believable that he was really saying "fire truck." I wanted to choke my husband's brother.
I remember the LC's in AL when I was there telling about how they were teaching their young daughter the proper words for body parts. They had explained that boys had penises and that girls had viginas.
The Lc's wife was grocery shopping one day with one of the girls and heard her singing. She wasn't paying real close attention to her daughter's song but noticed she was getting some strange looks from other shoppers. Then she heard the verse, "...boys have penises! Girls have viginas! Boys have penises! Girls have..."
My pal told me a joke that was so funny, I involuntarily shot a nose rocket onto his wife's bare leg...it was hanging off of her knee like a stalagtite...needless to say, this incident stands out in my mind as one of my most embarrassing moments...Of course, my pal almost wet himself laughing.
What kid? There was no kid. she was a fat woman, that's all. Oh no, and I was an idiot...
Sorry Steve, I don't get your meaning, The incident occurred back in 78. She (the redhead) was around nineteen at the time. So, that would make her around...46 or 47? Around my own age?
What kid? There was no kid. she was a fat woman, that's all. Oh no, and I was an idiot...
Sorry Steve, I don't get your meaning, The incident occurred back in 78. She (the redhead) was around nineteen at the time. So, that would make her around...46 or 47? Around my own age?
And so, I looked down at her apparently pregnant belly and I say; "So, when's the Big Day?" And she says; "What?" And I said; "So when are you due?" And she says; "Huh?" And I said a third time, thoroughly placing both feet in my mouth; "So when are you Expecting?!"
And she said; "What are you talking about?"
A tip from columnist Dave Barry (not an exact quote, since I read it about five years ago):
Unless her feet are in the stirrups and you actually see a head crowning, never even INTIMATE to a woman that she might be pregnant!!
...we were asked to take a bunch of corps with us who needed a ride. while waiting at a stop sign with a van full of corps my little boy says loudly " we don't say f..K no more do we daddy?
Reading Geo's story, reminds me of how me and a few others helped give someone else, a "most embarrassing moment".
I used to pick banjo and mandolin for a Bluegrass band, called the Elbo Grease Band, and our fiddle picker (Ken) was getting married -- so we threw him a bachelor party.
Ken (and two of the other band members), were members of the Air National Guard, stationed here in Duluth, and Dave (the bass picker) did some work in a veterinary office. We started Ken in on the whiskey, tequila, and beer about 10:00 AM, just to help him "celebrate", don't cha know!
He drank more than enough, passed out about 2 or 3 PM, and while he was sleeping -- Dave got out some stuff they used in the vet office for casts on animals, and went to work. He made it quick drying, and before applying the plaster, he was considerate enough to position Ken's right arm in the
*appropriate* position to hold his *unit* while he peed, and his left arm in the correct position to hold a beer. :D-->
Then we dressed him in skunk pelt shorts (nothing else, except for shoes), and waited for him to wake up, so we could take him to the party. He didn't wake up in time, so we loaded him into Dave's van, took him to the party, where he finally came to -- and we told him he had broken his arms in a fall, thus the casts on each arm.
He almost believed us, but then saw he wasn't wearing much, and realized he felt no pain, so he started hitting everything in site, trying to break those casts -- all the while yelling for his clothes, and drinking more beer.
We were in a private room, at a public place, and suddenly -- Ken runs out of the room, right into some big conference being held several doors down --wearing nothing but the skunk pelt shorts, shoes, and two casts on his arms that he hadn't quite broken through yet. :D-->
They shoulda kicked us outta there, but management was laughing too hard to say anything, as were all the conference folks.
I am still screaming from your incidents. OH MY GOD!!! :(--> I felt both your pains ... OH MY GOD!!!! :(-->
I have an incident...but it's not mine...it's my mom's. She has told it on several occasions and people still can't believe she did this.
One Saturday afternoon, as my mom was getting dropped off at the hairdressers, she turned to my dad in the car and said..."Make sure you get this car cleaned before we head out to the wedding this afternoon." She was this real clean freak..still is for that matter -->
She gets her hair done and is waiting at the curbside for my dad...in a Teal Blue LTD Ford. The car pulls up and she steps in. She takes one look at the car and notices it's still not cleaned. She says "God Damn...you didn't clean this car yet!! I'm not going anywhere in this car!"
The stranger in whom's car she had stepped into said..."Well I wouldn't go anywhere with you either!" She turned around and realized she had stepped into the wrong vehicle.
She nearly died a million deaths. She crawled outta the car and embarrasingly had to stand there and wait for my dad to show up.
The guy supposedly sat in his car shaking his head and chuckled to himself.
I'm sure my mother still wakes up in a cold sweat over that one! :D-->
Thanks for the Dave Barry tip. Too bad I'd never heard it before that damnable incident! Maybe I should send the incident to him?
DMiller-
You guys were ruthless! But funny as hell fore shore!
Ala P-
That is so hillarious about your Mom! She must have been totally mortified! I'm still laughing...
And Groucho, you just reminded me of my wife's WOW brother's no doubt most embarrassing incident:
Her WOW bro was only 20 when she was on the field. A couple of years later, when we were down in Portland, Oregon, or maybe Seattle for the NW Regions "Battle Of The Bands", oops, excuse me, Way International Music Challenge, her WOW bro was there also, peforming with a group doing some sort of an "excerpt" from Athletes Of The Spirit (AOS). This was in addition to the battle of the bands contest, and was only a "side show" for our "spiritual enrichment and enjoyment".
Neither was this group part of the real cast of AOS, but an "on the field" bunch, doing it for fun or for brownie points or whatever. At any rate, her WOW bro was in it, he was not a dancer at all, but was able to do back handsprings which seemed to wow the crowd. He was a fine and handsome lad, and after the "show" out in the lobby, he was immediately surrounded by about three lovely, single beauties, who appeared very interested in getting to know him. And so, he was chatting them up as they were eating it up, and my wife and I who'd been coming up to say hi and congrats and all, waited to the side while this young fella was enjoying his moment in the spotlight as he was receiving the adulation of these three beuatiful young ladies.
And then, disaster struck! At one point he laughed , and snorted, and a wad of snot flipped out of is nostril and landed on top of his nose! But, he didn't know it! And so, this young and handsome superstar, kept on chatting away, as the thoroughly grossed out young ladies began to look down and around and every which way but at his face. And still, young "Bob" remained clueless as to his plight, chatting away as my wife and I looked on in hillarious horror!
My wife told me to go and tell him about it, but I refused. No way was I going to be the one to point it out. I don't think I could have handled his horrified reaction. I didn't want him to know that we knew.
Finally, some friend of his pulled him aside, whispered in his ear, he turned beat red, and ran off to the bathroom.
Now to me, that would have been worse than calling that overweight gal pregnant...
Well y'all certainly have cheered me up! I could probably add some more, but when I try to think of one I draw a blank. However, I'm sure I'll do something embarrassing in the not-too-distant future, just cain't hep mahself I guess.
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coolchef1248 @adelphia.net
here is one i wanted to crawl into a hole for. when my ex and i first got involved in twi i wanted to check out hq so we packed up the van and our 5 yo son.we took the long trip and were welcomed there.{in those days you were} the next night joyful noise was doing a thing in new brennen? we were asked to take a bunch of corps with us who needed a ride. while waiting at a stop sign with a van full of corps my little boy says loudly " we don't say f..K no more do we daddy?
wanted to fall through the floor. maybe he should have said that to some of the big guns!
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Linda Z
When my son was about two, my teenage brother-in-law thought it was really funny to teach him cuss words.
So one day my husband and son and I were riding with a real estate guy to check out a house in another town. Out of the blue, my son starts saying the f word, over and over and over, and laughing. I wanted to die.
I quickly said, "Oh honey, I'm sorry, we didn't bring your fire truck today. Your fire truck is in your toybox at home." Thank God, my son was young enough that it was believable that he was really saying "fire truck." I wanted to choke my husband's brother.
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ChasUFarley
I remember the LC's in AL when I was there telling about how they were teaching their young daughter the proper words for body parts. They had explained that boys had penises and that girls had viginas.
The Lc's wife was grocery shopping one day with one of the girls and heard her singing. She wasn't paying real close attention to her daughter's song but noticed she was getting some strange looks from other shoppers. Then she heard the verse, "...boys have penises! Girls have viginas! Boys have penises! Girls have..."
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GrouchoMarxJr
My pal told me a joke that was so funny, I involuntarily shot a nose rocket onto his wife's bare leg...it was hanging off of her knee like a stalagtite...needless to say, this incident stands out in my mind as one of my most embarrassing moments...Of course, my pal almost wet himself laughing.
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J0nny Ling0
Steve! said;
What kid? There was no kid. she was a fat woman, that's all. Oh no, and I was an idiot...
Sorry Steve, I don't get your meaning, The incident occurred back in 78. She (the redhead) was around nineteen at the time. So, that would make her around...46 or 47? Around my own age?
So, what are you saying? I don't get it...
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J0nny Ling0
Groucho, that is badd...I mean, you must have been horrified...Did you wipe it off or did she?
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Steve!
Just yanking your chain by acting obtuse.
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GeorgeStGeorge
A tip from columnist Dave Barry (not an exact quote, since I read it about five years ago):
Unless her feet are in the stirrups and you actually see a head crowning, never even INTIMATE to a woman that she might be pregnant!!
George
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dmiller
RRR-OOO-FFF-LLL-MMM-AAAAAAA-OOO!!
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dmiller
Reading Geo's story, reminds me of how me and a few others helped give someone else, a "most embarrassing moment".
I used to pick banjo and mandolin for a Bluegrass band, called the Elbo Grease Band, and our fiddle picker (Ken) was getting married -- so we threw him a bachelor party.
Ken (and two of the other band members), were members of the Air National Guard, stationed here in Duluth, and Dave (the bass picker) did some work in a veterinary office. We started Ken in on the whiskey, tequila, and beer about 10:00 AM, just to help him "celebrate", don't cha know!
He drank more than enough, passed out about 2 or 3 PM, and while he was sleeping -- Dave got out some stuff they used in the vet office for casts on animals, and went to work. He made it quick drying, and before applying the plaster, he was considerate enough to position Ken's right arm in the
*appropriate* position to hold his *unit* while he peed, and his left arm in the correct position to hold a beer.
:D-->
Then we dressed him in skunk pelt shorts (nothing else, except for shoes), and waited for him to wake up, so we could take him to the party. He didn't wake up in time, so we loaded him into Dave's van, took him to the party, where he finally came to -- and we told him he had broken his arms in a fall, thus the casts on each arm.
He almost believed us, but then saw he wasn't wearing much, and realized he felt no pain, so he started hitting everything in site, trying to break those casts -- all the while yelling for his clothes, and drinking more beer.
We were in a private room, at a public place, and suddenly -- Ken runs out of the room, right into some big conference being held several doors down --wearing nothing but the skunk pelt shorts, shoes, and two casts on his arms that he hadn't quite broken through yet.
:D-->
They shoulda kicked us outta there, but management was laughing too hard to say anything, as were all the conference folks.
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Steve!
Man o man, if I only had a nickel for every time that's happened to me . . .
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A la prochaine
Jonny Lingo and George Aar!!
I am still screaming from your incidents. OH MY GOD!!!
:(--> I felt both your pains ... OH MY GOD!!!! 
:(-->
I have an incident...but it's not mine...it's my mom's. She has told it on several occasions and people still can't believe she did this.
One Saturday afternoon, as my mom was getting dropped off at the hairdressers, she turned to my dad in the car and said..."Make sure you get this car cleaned before we head out to the wedding this afternoon." She was this real clean freak..still is for that matter
-->
She gets her hair done and is waiting at the curbside for my dad...in a Teal Blue LTD Ford. The car pulls up and she steps in. She takes one look at the car and notices it's still not cleaned. She says "God Damn...you didn't clean this car yet!! I'm not going anywhere in this car!"
The stranger in whom's car she had stepped into said..."Well I wouldn't go anywhere with you either!" She turned around and realized she had stepped into the wrong vehicle.
She nearly died a million deaths. She crawled outta the car and embarrasingly had to stand there and wait for my dad to show up.
The guy supposedly sat in his car shaking his head and chuckled to himself.
I'm sure my mother still wakes up in a cold sweat over that one!
:D-->
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GeorgeStGeorge
Hahahahahahaaaaah!
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dmiller
Heh heh! I haven't come up with a really embarrassing moment for myself (yet):
But I sure woulda had a "doozy" of one if my post on Shellon's grand-daughter turned out to be wrong!
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vickles
I have too many embarrassing momemts that I'm too embarrassed to tell....
:o-->
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GrouchoMarxJr
Johnny L...She wiped it off (with a nearby napkin) so fast that you would have thought a black widow spider had landed on her. I was horrified!
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A la prochaine
Jonny L and George...
I'm still laughing!!! and gasping!!!!
Thanks for the chuckles.
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J0nny Ling0
George St George_
Thanks for the Dave Barry tip. Too bad I'd never heard it before that damnable incident! Maybe I should send the incident to him?
DMiller-
You guys were ruthless! But funny as hell fore shore!
Ala P-
That is so hillarious about your Mom! She must have been totally mortified! I'm still laughing...
And Groucho, you just reminded me of my wife's WOW brother's no doubt most embarrassing incident:
Her WOW bro was only 20 when she was on the field. A couple of years later, when we were down in Portland, Oregon, or maybe Seattle for the NW Regions "Battle Of The Bands", oops, excuse me, Way International Music Challenge, her WOW bro was there also, peforming with a group doing some sort of an "excerpt" from Athletes Of The Spirit (AOS). This was in addition to the battle of the bands contest, and was only a "side show" for our "spiritual enrichment and enjoyment".
Neither was this group part of the real cast of AOS, but an "on the field" bunch, doing it for fun or for brownie points or whatever. At any rate, her WOW bro was in it, he was not a dancer at all, but was able to do back handsprings which seemed to wow the crowd. He was a fine and handsome lad, and after the "show" out in the lobby, he was immediately surrounded by about three lovely, single beauties, who appeared very interested in getting to know him. And so, he was chatting them up as they were eating it up, and my wife and I who'd been coming up to say hi and congrats and all, waited to the side while this young fella was enjoying his moment in the spotlight as he was receiving the adulation of these three beuatiful young ladies.
And then, disaster struck! At one point he laughed , and snorted, and a wad of snot flipped out of is nostril and landed on top of his nose! But, he didn't know it! And so, this young and handsome superstar, kept on chatting away, as the thoroughly grossed out young ladies began to look down and around and every which way but at his face. And still, young "Bob" remained clueless as to his plight, chatting away as my wife and I looked on in hillarious horror!
My wife told me to go and tell him about it, but I refused. No way was I going to be the one to point it out. I don't think I could have handled his horrified reaction. I didn't want him to know that we knew.
Finally, some friend of his pulled him aside, whispered in his ear, he turned beat red, and ran off to the bathroom.
Now to me, that would have been worse than calling that overweight gal pregnant...
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Watered Garden
Well y'all certainly have cheered me up! I could probably add some more, but when I try to think of one I draw a blank. However, I'm sure I'll do something embarrassing in the not-too-distant future, just cain't hep mahself I guess.
Thanks,
WG
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