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Let's Talk About Sex


The Girl From Oz
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Ozzie,

Many women have spoken candidly about their experiance of sexual abuse via TWI and was met with doubt,critisim and some down right hurtful words. It was not from the majority of the male posters but a select few that made it clear that we were liars or brought it on by our own behavior. Those men have never been in our shoes and will never understand the mind and actions of a women. Because of the few, I for one would never speak of a thing so intimate, publicly. I'v learned my lesson well, that not all folks here are recovering from Way Brain and put the burden of proof,"if I didn't see it than it is not true" logic on you.

I say this to give you an idea of why it is a touchy subject. There are male posters who out of respect for the females really do a wonderful job of being gentle and protective in their post concerning sex. Knowing that it might trigger others, they keep it in GP-13 rating. I find some of their comments hysterical and non-offensive. I do enjoy a little ® myself. But like CW said, If you mention anything it can go down hill real fast and who wants to be a victim/volunteer to that.

I guess it is an excepted fact that if you want more than what GS will allow, you go somwhere else.

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quote:
Originally posted by imbus:

Ozzie,

Many women have spoken candidly about their experiance of sexual abuse via TWI and was met with doubt,critisim and some down right hurtful words. It was not from the majority of the male posters but a select few that made it clear that we were liars or brought it on by our own behavior. Those men have never been in our shoes and will never understand the mind and actions of a women. Because of the few, I for one would never speak of a thing so intimate, publicly.


Good point. We can make our own decisions about what to believe without doing or saying something that would hurt someone.

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OzGirl,

I think that this site reflects the average American when it comes to discussing sex. Most people in the U.S. simply don't talk about it much, except for teenagers who obsess over it, and older people who condemn it. Also, as others have pointed out, TWI had a lot of sexual abuse, so it's difficult to have a light-hearted conversation about it when so many people have told stories of their rapes and such here.

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God first

Hi The Girl From Oz

You are not being pointed out alot of my post have been move

Some because I believe it fix one place better some because I was not sure where to put it and some I just possed without thinking

About sex I like it just like all others and I have talk about it some but it not the main part of my life any more

I once wrote a post called God gave birth to the heaven and earth

I believe God is both sexes and it takes sex to be done before giving birth

I allso believe when the bible said God created the heaven and earth one could say God had sex then gave birth to the heaven and earth

You man can create one thing with help of a woman by doing sex they created life within the woman

The word created is use as made in the bible and since sex makes a child by the action of both sexes

Then by the action of creation of God or sex when his male side mixes with his felmale side we came the six day

Some animals are both sexes like the angels, and God

God told Adam and Eve to have sex and fill the earth in the bible

I guess that enought about sex for today from me

with love of God Roy

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quote:
Originally posted by Mister P-Mosh:

OzGirl,

I think that this site reflects the average American when it comes to discussing sex. Most people in the U.S. simply don't talk about it much, except for teenagers who obsess over it, and older people who condemn it. Also, as others have pointed out, TWI had a lot of sexual abuse, so it's difficult to have a light-hearted conversation about it when so many people have told stories of their rapes and such here.


Funny you should mention nationality, because Americans are perceived as being "prudish" when it comes to sex.

After all, look at the uproar at the exposing of a single nipple at the Super Bowl recently. icon_eek.gif

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quote:
Originally posted by The Girl From Oz:

Funny you should mention nationality, because Americans are perceived as being "prudish" when it comes to sex.

After all, look at the uproar at the exposing of a single nipple at the Super Bowl recently. icon_eek.gif


It's true, but it's mainly older people (of whom make up the largest age group here I think.) If you look at younger people, they don't have as much of an aversion to it. In fact, it's not uncommon to overhear groups of 12 year old girls discussing giving BJs to guys. My wife and I were eating at an ice cream restaurant recently and this was occuring at a table behind us. They may or may not have been 12, but they were definitely very young.

I do have to wonder if my generation and those after will do like those who were in their teens and twenties in the 60's did. All those hippies seemed to become Christians, parents, and prudes, acting exactly like those they rebelled against.

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quote:
After all, look at the uproar at the exposing of a single nipple at the Super Bowl recently

Well, I think all that uproar was due more to the time and place than just because it was an exposed nipple.

If the same thing had happened during the MTV Music Awards or on an episode of "The Man Show" it would have caused barely a ripple.

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quote:
Funny you should mention nationality, because Americans are perceived as being "prudish" when it comes to sex.

I don't get it. I've never felt prudish about sex, and I don't feel my parents were either. Obviously my grandma wasn't because she had 12 kids and still talked about sex comfortably. We just never asked her why Uncle Jerry has curly hair--that seemed to spark a nerve with her.....LOL.

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quote:
If the same thing had happened during the MTV Music Awards or on an episode of "The Man Show" it would have caused barely a ripple.
Yeah... I don't think there's anyone here who is inherently opposed to the nipple.

Of course, there is much more skin shown on TV abroad than here in the U.S. ...but we're trying!

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quote:
Originally posted by Tom Strange:

Of course, there is much more skin shown on TV abroad than here in the U.S. ...but we're trying!


I read something that would be news up towards your area. Apparently a school district is either in the process of buying, or has already bought health books that make claims like getting enough sleep will prevent STDs, and that respect can prevent pregnancy. I don't know if that is exactly how the book put it, but I think we've definitely got problems when it comes to discussing this subject. I even recall a guy I worked with last year making statements about how men can't get HIV from a woman (it is true that it is more difficult, but not impossible by any means) and other ridiculous things.

I wish our society would be able to have a national conference about sex where everyone attended and learned something, but that's not possible.

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Hi Oz Girl! Ya know, I wrote you an e-mail awhile back, and frankly, I wanted to talk to you about Sex. Intimately! Naw, just kiddin'. But I did write you a note to ask you some things about JW's and etc..

But concerning sex, I first have to say that I love it and get it as often as I can. Can't seem to get enough of it, really, but my wife is a dandy and things on the homefront are fine.

And, I once started a thread here called "Premarital Consensual Sex In The Way" which was pretty lively and lasted a fairly long time. I used a different handle at that time though and referred to myself as "Buck". Some of you may recall that thread, maybe no.

The reason I started that thread with that particular title was because I had had a number of sexual encounters while in The Way which were not abusive, but rather were very consensual, and were the result of being a lively and healthy youth. The same was the case with the various females involved. I wanted to talk about it and get away from the whole subject of "leaders abusing female followers", and wanted to know if there were any out there who had had similar experiences like I had had that were not in the category of "leaders abusing followers". Since there had been so many threads involving the "sexual abuse factor", I wanted to change the subject a bit to see if anyone else could relate to me on the subject.

I think that the situations that I had found myself in were normal youthful encounters, and I wanted to know if there were others who had felt this way. And to my surprise, there were a good number of others whose experiences were similar to my own, both guys and gals. It was quite a lively and fun thread which did understandalbly veer off into the "abuse" categories, which of course was fine as well, for these things did happen as Cool Waters recently mentioned.

But anyway, I don't feel at all bothered by you bringing up the subject. Glad you did. So, did you ever get my e-mail? icon_wink.gif;)-->

Jonny Lingo

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Jonny,

You bring up an interesting point about abuse in cults, and how people can tend to dwell on the negative so much that the positive aspects about a subject such as sex can be downplayed, even ignored.

Religions play a large part in demonising natural instincts such as sex, and put unnecessary taboos into society, such as "we don't talk about sex". But everyone thinks about it!!!! Unless you are pre-adolescent or have a decreased libido for some reason, of course everyone thinks about sex (usually the lack of it, haha)!

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Pirate-

They may well call them knickers Across The Pond, but they also refer to them as "pahntys" (accent supplied). There was an English fellow in my Corps who told many a joke that included humorous references to "women's pantys", and I have heard other Brits do the same..

OzGirl-

Ya know, you are right about what you say when you say:

"Religions play a large part in demonising natural instincts such as sex, and put unnecessary taboos into society, such as "we don't talk about sex".

However, as Love matters mentioned, hetero sex was not much frowned upon in The Way. I remember the founder of the Way (VPW) saying that it really wasn't the act of sex itself that is a problem, but rather the emotional repercussions that many times occur after people have been involved with each other for a long time and then casually break it off.

This of course gave "license" (at least to many people-not all) to seek out lots of "no strings attached" sex. The verse in the Scripture which says; "Happy is the man who condemneth not himself in that thing which he allows" (paraphrased from memory from-where-Romans?) became a popular excuse for alot of people to excuse themselves from the responsibility that comes with a sexual relationship which resulted so many times in lots of hurt.

Personally, I don't know if "no strings attached sex" exists, unless one were to utilize the services of a prostitute. And even then, there may not be any strings for one utilizing the services of a prostitute, but what about the prostitute?

It seems to me that there really is not any "no strings attached" sex for the taking, except for in marriage or when one goes "solo" of course. Maybe I am wrong, but that's the way it seems to me. Anybody else?

And Lovematters-

I am not sure that it is accurate to say that "there were no taboos" in The Way concerning sex. As a Way clergyman, I was fairly high up in the hierarchy, and I never preached that it was "ok", and I never utilized that verse in Romans as an excuse to do what I pleased. In all of the areas where I served, I counseled people that it was best to stay away from it unless there was a serious relationship going on that would lead to marriage. I made sure to let people know that it certainly was natural for people to want to "go there" (not that I used that "computer generation term" then) but that they could end up hurting themselves if things didn't work out. I also knew other leaders who believed and preached the same.

Most of my "dalliances" were situations where I thought I was in love, with only a few of them being just casual sex for which I condemned myself afterward for having "gone there". And there were also many instances where I spurned the amorous advances of some randy gals because I believed that it wasn't the love of God to just go and do it. Once out on the back forty at Emporia one night, a gal and I were making out so heavily and wanted it soo bad, but at one point we both decided that it wasn't right, and we both up and walked back to Ye Old Snack Shoppe and got some coffee or whatever. Who said miracles never happen!? Haha! Yeah, that wasn't easy..But we did both walk away. Probably easier for her of course, I think...

So, it certainly wasn't just the boys in The Way who had serious libido going on, that's for sure. Hell, we were children of the Sixties and Seventies!

For me, it was always a matter of; is this going to be a hurtful thing or not? And sometimes I was "good" and abstained, and sometimes I was "bad".

But OzGirl, we never believed that such things were sin that would send one to Hellfire and Brimstone for Eternity. This was definitely preached and was doctrine in The Way, unlike other denominations and possibly the Jehovah's Witnesses?

Well, there some input I guess...

JL

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"Sex does not exist in Russia!" That was the answer a very shy Russian woman gave to a foreign counterpart who was sitting in a TV studio many years ago after being asked what sex was like in Russia. It was only during the late 1980's when the Russian people got their first opportunity to talk with people from countries other than the Soviet block, and Television "bridge-shows" were extremely popular. It was a very unusual and revolutionary show, and millions of Russians sat in front of their TV sets and paid a great deal of attention to the questions and answers between the Russians in the TV studio and their foreign counterparts.

Of course this Russian woman's reply created a rather large outburst, not only the foreigners who were hundreds of miles away in another TV studio, but her own compatriots sitting in the studio with her. This woman had misunderstood the question and interpreted the word "sex" as meaning "pornography". Pornography was illegal in the former USSR. The remarkable thing is it was a mistake that so touched the Russians psyche, that even today Russians still humourously repeat the answer as an anecdote, an expression or just sarcastically. Why did this silly phrase become so popular in Russia?

After Perestroika the government relinquished control of property and only then began allowing the Russian citizenry the opportunity of owning their own apartments (flats). Unfortunately nothing changed for the majority of the population, as many still live with their parents because to purchase even the smallest apartment could cost between $20,000 - $30,000 or more, and in cities like Moscow and St. Petersburg the prices soar to as much as $100,000. Also that amount must be paid in cash as Russia has no credit system like we do in the US. So how many Russian people do you think can afford these sums, especially when highly paid professionals like doctors in Russia are fortunate to make anything over $100 US dollars a month? Very few, so the situation with apartment living has gone on from one generation to the next.

What does that have to do with a Russians sexual life? Pretty much. Most Russian families and often their extended families have to share a tiny 2 room flat. This is not a 2 bedroom flat, but it is just that - only a 2 room flat! Most contain one bedroom and a combination living room, kitchen and one bathroom. The child usually gets the bedroom and the parents the living room. So now you can see how difficult it would be for two people to become intimate, knowing your grown child sleeps in the next room just a couple meters from your bed. So most Russian women who grow up in this situation have a habit of keeping their emotions bottled up inside, especially when showing affection among family members.

Imagine two generations living in the same small apartment having being sexually repressed in the then Soviet Union. Living in this little flat gave Russians the habit of always looking for ways to compromise. You had to or you simply couldn't survive. So now you see why the phrase, 'sex doesn't exist in the USSR' is so popular in Russia.

However todays generation of new Russians do not have to experience the same repressions their parents did, and therefore they are able to show more affection to their peers and loved ones. But for parents it is a different matter, and both they and past generations are still stuck to concealing any loving emotions in public. Of course you cannont escape from your sexual instincts, and if there is something missing in your sexual life in one manner you try to express it in another.

This is one reason why many Russian women try to look extremely sexy and they like to flirt. But if you think a Russian woman is "easy" because of their provocative dress or appearance and have casual sex, you would be sadly mistaken! Most often the most sexual looking woman who dresses in a teasingly tight dress will turn into a cold beauty if you try to approach her and strike up a conversation. Very often she won't even give you a smile. So don't think the provocative sensual appearance of a Russian woman means something that is more promising for you men. Russian people still have a habit of keeping their affections suppressed, even in the presence of their parents, children or in public.

Russia for more than 70 years was a repressed nation, so you can not expect them to break that habit in one minute or a day. The thought of free speech, religion, self rule and the showing of affection n a private or public setting were all strongly repressed. Even movies that displayed any type of affection or any written material expressing any affection was forbidden. That affected all the Russian people born before the era of Perestroika, and it is still very difficult to break the taboos that have been instilled into a people for so many generations. (Any you think you've got it bad?) anim-smile-blue.gif

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