Why athletes don't have real jobs.

[Zshot]

I got this as an e-mail and thought it was funny :D-->

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Why athletes don't have real jobs

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I

want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Golfer Jonathan Woodruff when asked how he got to be so steatopygic " I

don't know but I like my women the same way"!

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother

to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run

over Joe's Mom, too."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He

treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in

football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman

Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to

graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)

Golfer Allyn Nock on winning lunch from his buddies "I got two words for

you - Double Naco Burger"

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up

alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then

line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don

King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison

for three years, not Princeton."

Aspiring golfer and athlete Alex Romero after hitting three balls out of

bounds "I can still make par"

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color

photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my

name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of

heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at 6 o'clock in the

morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach

Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a

baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if

his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)

Racquetball player Paul Whitten on winning a doubles national championship

with Clint "If you can't beat him, join him"

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,

what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't

know and I don't care.'"

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a

player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're

spending too much time on one subject."

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas

why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because

she is too ugly to kiss good-bye."

Golfer Keith Gallew after hitting a sideways shank "I think I have been

Syvetlanatized" asked what that meant he said "I'll have to hit the same

club"