FUNNNNNY

[Hope R.]

I usually don't post email jokes I receive because they've been around the internet for a while - but this one... I really L'd OL!!!

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Magic Beer

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says.

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says,

"You know, Superman, you're a real @sshole when you're drunk."

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Hope R. color>size>face>

...I don't know who I am but life is for learning... we are stardust...size>face>color>

[ExWayDaryl]

OK, so what do you call 2,000 mockingbirds?

2 Kilomockingbirds. Say it out loud..

What is the shortest distance between two jokes?

A straight line. Think about it...

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

The weight a televangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

Daryl - Franklin Park, Illinois

[dougie73]

Funny and not like a clown !!!!! Thanks for that one Hope ! Got any Mighty Mouse jokes to share too ? :D-->

[ExWayDaryl]

Someone told me I was gullible. And I believed him.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

I put instant coffee in a microwave, and almost went backwards in time.

The speed of time is one second per second.

What is another word for "synonym"?

I went to San Francisco, and found someone's heart.

If swimming is so good for you, how do you explain whales?

Protons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

[Kit Sober]

:)-->

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender

says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. ;)-->

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says,

"Sorry we don't serve food in here." :)-->

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.:P-->)

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" :)-->

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's Not Unusual.":)-->

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The

kids were nothing to look at either. -->

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.:)-->

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the

bar tender here?"