I don't want PFAL

[Ham]

Heh heh heh.

[Ham]

I'd rather stay in a great funk

In bed I'd rather have a skunk.

I'd rather have a cold or flu

or roll in poison ivy, too.

I'd prefer a good old whippin'

or castor oil, and much for sippin'.

Erase every hard drive sector

Or throw me to the tax collector.

For panty hose I'd rather shop

or get a ticket, from a cop.

PFAl, unlike the dew,

smell just like, well, just P. U.

[Steve!]

So Hammer and Hairy -

Are you trying to say that if piffle were to run in the house right next door to you, you might have issues with that?

[Ham]

You might say that that would be an understatement.. heh heh.

[Ham]

Cripe.. the whole theme would have to change, from green eggs and ham to da grinch that stole PFAL.

[Ham]

I'd rather go live in Siberia,

or have a great fit of hysteria

Put me in a garbage can,

or send me email, lots of spam.

Or in the oven make me hot,

I'd rather give myself a shot.

Turn my house to fire wood,

or get stuck up by a big hood.

Jam much paper in my printer,

Put me out in the cold winter.

Spend all my money on one bill,

or roll myself down a steep hill.

I'd rather just get coal for Christmas,

or to the mall would have to witness.

I'd rather eat five pounds of prunes

or get buried deep in the dunes.

Lordy, what's that awful smell?

Not a skunk, it's PFAL

[Ham]

And the saga continues..

I'd rather eat a can of worms,

or yellow jackets, give me swarms.

Rather with a lion be fighting,

or hit with a large bolt of lightning.

Could not find a place to pee,

or get hit by large banking fees.

Rather sleep on five hard rocks

or get a case of chicken pox.

Feed me rotten local swill

or make me climb up a steep hill.

Put hot wax down my front pocket

or stick my finger in a socket.

Soak my keyboard in hot coffee,

or up my nose stick english toffee.

Lose all my money on one bet,

or barbecue my favorite pet.

Why oh why can't you just see it?

PFAL- I just don't need it.

Uncle H- your turn, heh heh.

[Ham]

Forget to put oil in my car

or just run over a broken jar

I'd rather step a lot in glue

or put myself right up the flue

My clothes I would rather rend,

or outside .... against the wind.

I'd drive too fast when there is fog

I'd hit myself with a big log.

Let my icecream turn to soup,

I'd rather jump right off the roof.

I'd rather paint my body pink,

or forgoe baths and just plain stink.

I'd prefer strapped to a mast

or put in a whole body cast.

I know for you this must be rough,

PFAL, I've had enough.

[Steve!]

Hammer, are you gainfully employed? Need a hobby? Do you have issues that need to be dealt with?

;)-->

[GrouchoMarxJr]

I'd rather eat some rancid pork

Or take a stabbing from a fork

I'd rather have them send me howling

Via stake or disemboweling

You could feed me to the ants

Should you should or should you shant

Drop me in some boiling oil

Or give me sores and nasty boils

Take away my right to vote

Steal my boots and steal my coat

Drill a hole into my head

Leave me laying there for dead

Take a bullwhip to my foot

...Before I'd ever take that class

[jardinero]

Hammie dear,

Have you been hitting the double espressos again???????

J. ;)-->

[Ham]

Steve- yes, I am gainfully employed.. forty + hours a week at least for the time, heh heh. Add to that I am almost going full time to local college here. I am enrolled in Organic Chem II and Physics II.

These little "ditties" only take me about three minutes to produce. One way of dealing with manic energy.. some things REALLY get me going- like the thought that I need to work over some really tired "research" materials to somehow decode God's purpose in my life. Well, at least this morning I feel like I'm starting to calm down a little..

Uncle H., that last one was priceless, heh heh.

[Ham]

Amazes me.. four pages and approaching a thousand views.

I'd rather..

Ink from quill squirt in eye,

or face get hit with apple pie.

Tumble down a wooden ladder,

or in back yard find angry rattler.

VCR eat favorite tape,

or favorite pants have hole to gape

Surgeon to make an incision

or better days for to be wishin'.

Pigeon on me lots to crap,

or lost on trip, can't find a map.

House with good ripe sewage flooded,

or driveway in big rainstorm mudded.

Run barefoot through patch of frogs,

I'd rather live in wild bogs.

Fly in planes that have no wings,

or face the wrath of many kings.

To lose just about all my reason,

or winter be the only season.

I really do not want this class.

You can stick it up your ***.

[Ham]

"Respectfully" submitted, Mr. H.

[Ham]

quote:

Hammie dear,

Have you been hitting the double espressos again???????

Nope- that'll be tomorrow morning.

[Ham]

Rather hear a stupid joke,

swallow rotten egg with yoke.

Hit a solid wall of brick,

a frozen flagpole I would lick.

Live like cattle in a barn,

securly tie myself with yarn.

Get thrown from a bucking horse,

My sense of humor get much worse.

Pipe tobacco to chew like cud,

My face to look like Elmer Fudd.

All the lights at once go out,

With Jack Dempsey have a bout.

Not another stinkin' dime,

Won't take it another time.

[Steve Lortz]

Hey, Mr. H, - You could go to Gunnison and do most of that last stuff you were waxing poetic about :-D

Love,

Steve

P.S. - I HAVE shovelled out that barn!

[Frankee]

Mr Hammeroni, you do need PFAL. It's the the keys to the rightly divide Word of God which hasn't been known since the First Century, except for that brief time from 1967 till about 1987.

How could you not need the Word of God? I just don't understand that? -->

[oldiesman]

You'd really lick a flagpole instead?

[Ham]

Frankee, I am not really a PFAL hater. Just don't want to go over it- again, and again, and again- just certain folks here think that that is God's plan for their lives. I am just kind of of the opinion that if you don't get the message after sixty or so viewings of the class, and add to that a cumulative of YEARS of study time, something has got to be wrong.

I don't hate it, or even think it's evil incarnate or anything like that- just don't want any more. Done, kaput.. finished with it.

I did not say that I don't want the word of God.

Just some posters here equate the two- think PFAL IS the Word of God. I do not hold this opinion.

PFAL, despite inherent flaws, and even despite the character of the teacher, did help some people. But it's supposed to be a class about keys. Basic keys- I am thankful for what I learned in kindergarden, but I do not wish to relive it every stinking day of my life. "Now, this is how we flush the potty, this is how we wash our hands.." over, and over, and over, and over.

My polite offer of "no thanks" was not very well accepted at one point here. I don't get even, I just do poetry, heh heh.

Sure, you learn by repetition- but honestly, enough is enough.

O.M.- yep, I'd rather lick the frozen flag pole- just make sure my tongue was dry first, heh heh.

[skyrider]

quote:

PFAL, despite inherent flaws, and even despite the character of the teacher, did help some people.

Yeah....it wasn't the class, it was the inDOCTRINEation.

Had I taken pfal and went on my merry way....no big deal.

Had I taken a few classes and gone to a few things.....still, no big deal.

Had I gone WOW and left twi after that WOW year......I'd have learned valuable lessons.

BUT.....to have gone corps and STAYED WITH TWI for over two decades.....it's gut-wrenching to look back and see all the indoctrination, manipulation, deception, adulterous-adulation, exageration, pontification, etc.

I think you get my drift.

[Ham]

Absolutely. Some folks were fortunate enough to grab some good and run away.. others, not so fortunate.

I was not corpse, but it was the same for me- over two decades. Twenty plus years of rehashing the same classes, and the "new and improved" versions that were sadder looking than their predecessors. Same old tired materials, same stuff. Paid again, and again, and again.

It's incredible.. some posters here are STILL at it. No TWI involvement to carefully and continually "guide" you through their trough of worn out stuff? Well, that's OK- just do it on your own, and INSIST that others do the same. No thanks, no more..

I think you make a good point. It wasn't the class itself that was so rotten to the core, it was the indoctrination and manipulation that came with it.

Edited March 4, 2005 by Mr. Hammeroni

[Ham]

I'd rather..

Fall down fifteen flights of stairs,

or camp in park with raging bears.

Hug a frightened porcupine,

or coat myself with tar of pine.

Drag me through the town with horse,

or sleep on bed that's really coarse.

Eye of newt or tongue of frog

I'd rather eat, than listen to MOG.

Run nekked fast through briar patch,

or forced on egg, would sit, to hatch.

Most important files lost,

out in the cold i'd rather be tossed.

Sea water use to make my coffee,

rather than PFAL to copy.

Super glue myself to chair,

or break my favorite urn, that's rare.

Burn myself with soldering iron,

or butt my head upon a pylon.

Ok, I'm done, I'll say no more

unless someone wants an encore.

[Ham]

(thunderous applause in background) "thank you, thank you.."

[oldiesman]

You'd rather sleep in bed with a horse?