9th Corps

[tomtuttle1]

Tom, thou are wanted in the Wayed and found balanced.

You've been posting Jonny, haven't you???

I cannot get the Lord Jenkinson outta mah brain cells. I NEED (and want parallel) to hear more TJ stow-rees !!!!!

Edited December 2, 2005 by tomtuttle1

[excathedra]

from

http://www.cabsf.org/Jenkinson%20Classes.htm

Learning and the Book of Proverbs

The book of Proverbs is designed to help us “to know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgment, and equity; To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.” Knowing the things that are written in Proverbs is beneficial for people of all ages. This class on Learning and the Book of Proverbs will be of great benefit for all ages, but will be especially geared for young people.

To schedule a live class in your area call Tom Jenkinson at .

i think you need s-u-b-t-i-l-t-y my t-u-t-t-l-e-t-y

Edited December 5, 2005 by pawtucket

[tomtuttle1]

Thank you, my temptress. My brother, who was lost, is now found...

I must leave for the airport now, so I shall schedule a call next week, just to inquire about the class and just maybe HEAR the voice in my vee-sions...

[Too Gray Now]

Somebody better stop ole TT from goin' to the airport!!

Imagine :blink: :blink: In his frame of mind what the TSA security people will do with him: :o :o

Here is a likely transcription:

TSA: "I see you are flying with no luggage, today Mr. Tuttle. Just a day trip?"

TT: "You want me to give an account of my trip to you?? Then Who?? Who will be next - the head Elder? The Deacon who doesn't deek - It's none of your BEEZness!!!"

TSA: "Mr. TT, EVERTHING is MY beesness!" "Just trying to make conversation". "Lighten Up, man".

(TT is now in line for the X-Ray belt)

TSA: "Please remove ALL jewlry, cell phones, pagers, laptop computers from their bags, keys, coins and metal objects and place them in a tub and put them through the X-Ray system."

TT: (Approaching the X-Ray belt)

TSA : "Sir." (no response) "SIR!"

TT: "You talkin' to me?"

TSA: "Yes." "Take off your shoes."

TT: "... for the place where you standeth is holy ground!!"

TT: "You're the angel that appeared to Moses, RIGHT!???"

TSA: "What are you takin' about???"

TT: "Oh, come Come On!" "The Gig is UP!" I WIN!!! I guessed the rest of the verse, right?" "Just let me go through, now OK??"

TSA: "Sir, I don't have ANY idea what you are talkin' about. But I am gonna count to three and then those shoes had better be OFF!!! Do you Understand, ME?!"

TT: "Well I know I got it right - because I am more noble than those in Thessolonica... I searched the scriptures whether those things are so... and let me tell you, Mrs. TSA PERSON... those things are SO!!"

TSA: "Security - - We have a code 3, I repeat a code 3 in Line 5. Please respond, STAT!"

3 Days later...

TT: (Doing his retemories)

Gen 40:15 For indeed I was stolen away, out of the land, of the Hebrews and here also have I done nothing that they should put me into the dungeon.

[notinKansasanymore]

Rocky says that his name was at the bottom of the thread because it was his birthday, and that he's had no word of being reinstated. He says that he's copastetic (sp?) where he is, and doing fine.

I was relieved to hand back 80 large, graded essays today.

I was ludicrously stupid to take up 100 more, which need to be graded and handed back by Monday.

It must be near the end of the semester!!!

Indeed, Finals are only one week away. And until then, my heart will sing, and until then, with joy I'll carry on . . . until that day, my hands give in the grade sheets; until that day, I'll carry on.

After that, I'm sitting down for a nice stiff Gin and Tonic.

[Tom Strange]

bless you sweetniKa... will you be rooting for the boys in orange this weekend?

[notinKansasanymore]

It was always my dream to attend the University of Texas; I want them to be the National Champions.

My folks didn't let me go to Austin to school because it was too far from home. Little did they know how far away I'd be going, because I stayed in my hometown and became more and more involved in TWI.

Anyway, Hook 'em, Horns!

Edited December 3, 2005 by notinKansasanymore

[notinKansasanymore]

It would appear that Texas has beaten Colorado by 70 - 3.

Wow. I guess everything really IS bigger in Texas!!

[notinKansasanymore]

SimonSays, how was Dana? Did your eyes behold the King of Glory?? The Pneuma? The Hagion????

Inquiring minds want to know.

[excathedra]

well darn happy birthday anyway rocky

i didn't know this place announced birthdays of "dropped from active posters"

[Tom Strange]

"dropped from active posters"... heh heh... good one myseestorEx!

sisterniKaoftherubyslippers, looks like our (my) boys in burnt orange will get to play those that think they are from Troy... should be a good game... and we'll have a young lad in New Jersey secretly rooting them on won't we myseestorEx???

I've got some leftover Schlitz for the after feelowsheep meeting tonight in the upper floors of Anderson Library...

[simonzelotes]

Well,dear Nika,since you asked,I will tell you about 'The King and I'....His visit to Phoenix was all too brief,and we only had time for a noon day lunch...We had a delicious meal of borscht with a dollop of sour cream,soaked lentils,bulgar wheat salad and savory millet with a generous covering of fig pap...As it is written, "better is a dinner of herbs where love is,than a stalled ox and hatred therewith."....

It seems Dana was misdiagnosed by,as he puts it,"one of those company quack doctors" who reported that his heart was 'slightly out of position' and that he had an 'irregular heartbeat'..,not taking into account Dana's rather large frame,and he was grounded for a while...But after some persistence and coaxing,(there's something very subtlly pursuasive about Dana) he's back behind the wheel,puttin' the hammer down,ridin' pedal to the metal and the Lord ridin' shotgun...

As to whether we will visit our brethen,again,in Florida,Tuttle,I'm afraid we called upon four virgin daughters,who bound our own hands and feet together and said to us through the holy ghost "doo the will of the Lord,c'mon do the will of the Lord,you know what the will of the Lord is"...And when we would not pursuaded,weceasedsayingthewillofthelordbedone...

As to the rest of you'ns,I cut my teeth on Schlitz beer,the one with gusto,and Chesterfield's,Tom...

That was nice of excie to impart birthday greetings to our own marked and avoided brother...I wonder if the corpse household newsletter lists the birthdays of the DFAC's at the bottom....

What's up w/ fellashipper?...Bless him and his tribe....

[tomtuttle1]

What a delicious, hot meal that must have been!!! I can see it yet, the beautee-fully designed bowls from the Indiana campus, chock-full of earthly manna. My, but I would to god to have some now. Even the frozen fruit on a sub-zero morning, to warm the soul ...

For everyone's information, Sprocky is NOT DFAC, he is DFAP, dropped from active posting. Must I always expound the word of greasespot more perfectly??

And I presume (presumptious are they, selfwilled, made to be taken and destroyed...) that our own yellowdripper is working on blessing himself with a quiver full, leaving him far too little time to regularily visit his brethren here on the tread. You just quit yakkin' about anything else!!

Have not had time yet to call for more info on TJ's dynamic new church class. But I will, the Lord willin' & the crick dont rise...

[notinKansasanymore]

I'd like to take all this grading down to where the fahr never ceases. Where Millions are now Smoking.

Gehenna.

Wait a minute; that sounds like something that I used to put on my hair in the 80's.

What have we got here, a counterfeit??

It's c-o-l-d here today, but I have my needs and wants parallel; I am wearing a muffler that's Fire Engine Red.

You might see me waving it, if you come down to meet me in my train.

[tomtuttle1]

Speaking of grading, it reminded me of a sto-rey:

A cute co-ed at a university goes to her professor's office one evening, when everyone else had gone home for the night. She knocked on the door and the professor says "Come in, the door is open.". She opens the door and while walking in, the professor notices her wearing a very low-cut top and a mini skirt. He spins around in his chair and the following ensues:

Professor: What can I do for you??

Co-ed: I seems my grades in your class haven't been too great so far, and I REALLY NEED to get a good

grade.

Professor: What do you suggest we do about it?

Co-ed: Well, I'd do just about ANYTHING to get a good grade.

Professor: What are you saying?

Co-ed: You know, there's NOTHING I wouldn't do in exchange for a good grade.

Professor: Are you SURE you'd do ANYTHING for this grade???

Co-ed: Oh, yes sir!!! I will do ANYTHING for it!!!!!!! And right NOW!!!!!

Professor: OK, ......................... Study !!!!!!!!

Similar to the prostitute in a bar joke:

Prostitute: Excuse me sir, but I'd do anything for you for $100.

Sir: Anything???

Prostitute: Anything!!!!!

So he hands her $100 and says, "Here, paint my house."

Sure am glad I don't get PAID for mah sto-rees...

[tomtuttle1]

As long as we're on the topic, and the Spirit has so moved me, here's another (allos):

A policeman was on a police horse in the street downtown when a little boy rides up next to him on a new, fire-engine red tricycle.

Policeman: Did Santa bring you that tricycle??

Boy: Yes he did!!

Policeman: Well, here's a ticket. Tell Santa to next time bring a license also.

Boy: Did Santa bring you that horse??

Policeman: Why, yes he did!!

Boy: Well, tell Santa to next time put the dick under the horse instead of on top.

Where's Dick DeNenno?

Edited December 8, 2005 by tomtuttle1

[excathedra]

did you hear the one about the the three holes in the ground ?

well, well, well...

[notinKansasanymore]

Oohh, the spirit is here, and it's movin' me . . .

Why does Santa have a garden at the North Pole?

So he can go "Hoe, hoe, hoe!"

:blink:

[tomtuttle1]

Oh my... I thought Santa was trying his hand at rap ...

[engine]

Ex,

I thought that was 5 tracks in the sand! From one of them He-Men types, ya know, like the Nephilim that was destroyed because they were nihilists.

[excathedra]

got a giant laugh out of that one engine !!!!!!!!!

**

what's the best part about dating a homeless woman ?

you can drop her off anywhere

[notinKansasanymore]

Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

(I found this on Jokes Unlimited)

You'll need the following:

1 cup of water

1 cup of sugar

4 large brown eggs

2 cups of dried fruit

1 teaspoon of salt

1 cup of brown sugar

Lemon juice

Nuts

1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the

highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter

in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.

Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried

fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget

to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.

[Tom Strange]

that's a good recipe niKa... I'll have to try it... by the way... would you please take this weather back?

[notinKansasanymore]

Excie:

I don't want that weather back! I wore a coat (even indoors, most of the time) for four days!!!

Maybe after I take the grading to the Gehenna, we'll stick around and have some hot chocolate and toast some marshmallows.

I hear it's pretty hot there.

[Too Gray Now]

NIKA - that was one of the funniest things I have read - my Mom, who rarely ever drank... always said she didn't have to - because she would get her twords all wisted - without one drink

So I called her on the phone, and read it with a Foster Brooks sort of imiatation. She about died laughing! Thanks.